Out of Pod Experience

Some bring joy to a room when they enter, others when they leave.

Dont let the door hit you on the way out.


*sniff* You big *sniff* meeny face! *sniff*

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You ate my pet fedo,
So im done with you.

When you fight to cling to people
who are no longer meant to be in your life,
you delay your destiny.
Let them go.

Goodbye :)

They say long distance relationships don't work out.

Well my arms are getting tired from holding up this ten foot pole to keep you that far away from me. I'm gonna let go of this pole, let's let this symbolize letting go of the relationship. Please don't make me regret this.

Yeah well I'll see you in court. I've had these divorce papers ready since last week. Bet you didn't know I tricked you into breaking up with me.

I'l about to win ownership of 50% of your underwear.

Ensign eh?

Come back when youre a proper officer.

It's not you, it's my love for cats. And crab apples. And crab cats. And cat apples. I know you don't love me when you shout at me over that tattoo. Abuse is such a harsh word, it was no abuse. You passed out accidentally and I love crab cat apples. Can I keep the tattoo? They can sew a patch of skin from your butt to your face to fill the gap. Kitty kitty, do you want a crab apple?

Oh. And I'm keeping the bathroom mirror too.

You ate my leftover pizza, didn't you? You knew I was saving that for after work today, right? Didn't I say, "I am going to save this leftover pizza for tomorrow after work?" Yes, I did, but you ate it anyway. It's all over, just forget it, I can never trust you again.

Honey, I'm really sorry but... I just can't be in this negative space you create everyday with that scowl! I want to be HAPPY sometimes... not gloomy! You always scare the kids, the dog is afraid of you sometimes.... you passed under a rainbow yesterday and it went black!! BLACK!!! You took something beautiful and... and... you made it not!!

... and... I have a confession... I've been seeing someone else. Nothing has happened! It's just... she makes me feel happy... er. Don't get me wrong... your gloominess is what brought me to you... I'll always cherish the times we spent together... hating on plebs and spitting on carebears... and you'll always have a special place in my heart. I still care about you! I just want more in life! Is that so hard to understand?

I'll be staying at my parent's place for a bit. Please don't visit. Not for awhile at least. I just need... time.

... I'm so sorry... *sobs and runs away*

I'm sorry but this is clearly not working.

I cannot help but notice that you have changed your former charming appearance to look more and more like Solid Snake. And now i know why. I hate to tell you this but i found your dairy. Normally i would not pry, and this was the first time ive ever done this to you, but i felt compelled to look to see if i could find some answers.

What i found not only shocked me, but appalled me.

I know this is EVE and sinister plans and plots are our bread and butter, but if you wanted to break up you simply had to say so. Your long winded plan to change your appearance, then get me calling you Snake just so you could leave me in a busy train station with me calling SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE to your departing back is despicable.

I am only glad I found out about this now.

So here it is. I'm through. I'm done with you. By the time you read this i will be gone. I've already separated our things so you should have no need to contact me. Should you find something of mine, please keep it or throw it away. I do not wish to know about it.

Good luck with your future endeavours.

P.S. I took the liberty of tagging you on a faux facebook account with you in your "ahem" Snake poses, and sent friend invites to every friend on your list, including your mother and your boss. Oh and the local paper! Maybe you'll have to find a new job now, but since its your spelt name you'll be fine!

Enjoy!