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The official I'm breaking up with you thread - from poster above

First post First post
Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#41 - 2014-05-08 00:51:08 UTC
You haven't been unsuccessful at everything. You successfully broke my heart. Way to go champ.

And just for the record, I want everyone to know how unsuccessful you were in bed.

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."

Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#42 - 2014-05-09 11:54:48 UTC
I decided to have these guys put it into words for me.

"I think you should buy a new Mayan calendar. Mine has muscle cars on it." - Kenneth O'Hara

"I dont think that can happen, you can see Gray has his invuln field on in his portrait." - Commissar "Cake" Kate

Gaellia Bonaventure
Imperial Shipment
Amarr Empire
#43 - 2014-05-09 12:52:34 UTC
I found a sale at CVS on Hitachi Magic Wands so I don't really need you anymore.

Bring your possibles.

Commissar Kate
#44 - 2014-05-09 12:54:29 UTC
I'm leaving you for one of your slave girls...

Slick Slomopavitz
#45 - 2014-05-20 02:45:45 UTC
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but... I can't see you anymore. Not because we've never actually dated... or even met... but because you keep readjusting your bedroom window blinds so as to make them impenetrable to my prying eyes. You know, THESE eyes? The ones right here? The ones weeping tears of sorrow? So yeah, it's pretty much over. But really, it's totally not your fault. It's your landlord's fault. Matter of fact, I see her light on as I'm typing this. Think it might be time for a little night time walk... to get some air... at night... outside...

I have always loved you.

"Some places got a Murphy bed, this place got a Murphy shower. I still don't know where to hang the towels!"

Slade Trillgon
Brutor Force Federated
#46 - 2014-05-20 03:44:04 UTC
You said you were compassionate but you are pure slickness, Goodby!
Arkady Vachon
The Gold Angels
Sixth Empire
#47 - 2014-05-20 04:45:04 UTC
The Soyjoy boxes and cans of Quafe you leave all around the quarters is annoying but tolerable. But not flushing the latrine all the time?


Also, use flatulence medication.

Nothing Personal - Just Business...

Chaos Creates Content

CCP Falcon
#48 - 2014-05-20 10:07:15 UTC
It's not me, or you... it's the Brutor guy from Amamake I've been sleeping with. He's just that good.


CCP Falcon || EVE Universe Community Manager || @CCP_Falcon

Happy Birthday To FAWLTY7! <3

Ham the Astrochimp
Amarr Empire
#49 - 2014-05-20 10:14:39 UTC
u not ape. u not apekind. me not want. me go now. take my elvis cd's with me.
haaaaa! haaaaaaaa!!
Garoun Investment Bank
Gallente Federation
#50 - 2014-05-20 10:57:16 UTC

Joffy Aulx-Gao for CSM. Fix links and OGB. Ban stabs from plexes. Fulfill karmic justice.

Niar Quinn
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#51 - 2014-05-20 12:01:44 UTC
I met someone with more internet spaceships than you.

Sorry ):
mr ed thehouseofed
Pator Tech School
Minmatar Republic
#52 - 2014-05-20 13:02:45 UTC
but my internet spaceship is a thorax Sad

i want a eve pinball machine...  confirming  CCP Cognac is best cognac

Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
#53 - 2014-05-20 17:06:30 UTC
You took my Rifter out without my permission-- again! And left your disgusting body hairs in my pod goo-- again! That's it, I'm out of here!
jason hill
Red vs Blue Flight Academy
#54 - 2014-05-20 19:15:50 UTC
sorry pet I`m off ive been shagging a bird who doesn`t fart in bed much as you do ...cya traaaa and thanks for the blowjobs ...and this bird can take her teeth out Big smile
Arline Kley
PIE Inc.
Khimi Harar
#55 - 2014-05-20 19:59:10 UTC
Look Jason

You seem like a nice guy and all, but I'm a cyborg, you're a Caldari; it was never going to work. I just can't get close enough to you without causing you massive physical trauma, and while you said you where good in bed, I'm afraid that's just not the case - you kept pushing your Rokh into my Ark and that's just not on...

"For it was said they had become like those peculiar demons, which dwell in matter but in whom no light may be found." - Father Grigori, Ravens 3:57

Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#56 - 2014-05-21 02:18:47 UTC
Not my fault you have a capital ship hangar down there. I'm not particularly well-endowed myself, I'll admit that. But you know what the difference is between you and me? I'm all natural, that's what. I never modified my body from its original form -or- size.

*storms off and cries in a pillow*

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."

The Scope
Gallente Federation
#57 - 2014-05-21 02:49:07 UTC
Sorry this is actually my main.. your hanger is now empty
All Kill No Skill
#58 - 2014-05-21 04:46:21 UTC
I know we just became drinkin buddies and all, but when you passed out I found this video fall out of your truck - of you and your friend there. I... don't know where you think this is going... but time for me to find another drinkin buddy me thinks Straight
Rock on!

I'm in it for the money


Crompton Aberforth
Gallente Federation
#59 - 2014-05-21 06:46:22 UTC
I don't mean to sneer, capsuleer,
But you're no longer the man, Webvan

Do you play EVE like a girl ...because um... you ARE a girl?

Do you know about the WGoE (Women Gamers of EVE) chat channel?

For access information visit the public chat room 'Women Gamers public'.

Sunlight...Through The Blight.
#60 - 2014-05-22 14:21:41 UTC
I left a letter...

On an empty coffee table...

In front of an empty couch...

In an empty living room.

It sums up why we can no longer be a thing.

To be honest...

It was never you...

I have to just spread my wings...

Y'know, dance and sing.


Big smileCoolBlink

Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the comedian is the only thing that makes sense.