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Crime & Punishment

 
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The Pirate Story Thread

First post First post
Author
Roosterton
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#61 - 2011-09-25 19:08:18 UTC
Tarryn Nightstorm wrote:
Beware the mining-bait dual web/dual-neut Exqueror with a well-trained drone-***** at the helm:

So there I was in Hek, looking for some unlicensed ore-containers to confiscate for great justice, when I happened upon this aforesaid Exqueror.

Flipped the can, he does nothing.
I mosey on up to him, give him a friendly bump, only to find myself instantly locked, and he starts blinking red--I saw no sensor-booster effect, so maybe a Passive Targeter?

Anyway, fight's on! Woot! I are kyute space-kitteh, gettin ur kill-mail!

Um.
Not so fast--the next effect I saw was the neuting lightning-thingy one.

I set my orbit, only to have my speed reduced to about 100m/s. With an overheated AB....Dual webs...ummmm..."Lolwut?"

Followed in about 30s with "The capacitor...is empty." I'd been plonking away at him, but had hardly scratched his armour...Plated: Uummmm..."Derp?"

Then, out come the Warrior IIs..."Ooooooh, (f-word), -1 Rifter, soon-ish," thinks I, and so it was in short order (there's a reason those little buggers are the frigate-pilot's worst nightmareBlink).

Me in local: Lol, nice bait :)
Him: gf
Me: gf

So, I gotta say, props to that guy, he's doinitrite Twisted

(And he, unlike our rather emotive flipper above, probably did watch that videoCool)



I've lost a Daredevil to a similarly fitted lazor bait Exequror. Oops

It was in nullsec, though, so I should have figured something was up.
Mussashi Miyamoto
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#62 - 2011-09-26 14:21:31 UTC
BAHAHAHAHAH!

youhad me at "FAGGOOT!" hahahahah

Treat others as you would like to be treated.

Xuse Senna
club penguinn
#63 - 2011-09-27 15:31:16 UTC
Bumping back to front page :)

http://img152.imageshack.us/img152/7501/mindgamesceptionfinaldr.jpg

Laqua
Off-Target
#64 - 2011-09-28 00:28:25 UTC
First, the tears:

Hi there,

First of all, this action was lower than low.
It says a lot about what person you really are; deceptively, onthrustworthy and surely not that honorable as you said, haha. I hope they get you one day, not only in Eve, but in real.

This was nonsens, you made probably but a couple of million, even a real mission would have given more.

And last, how on earth could you even thought about that I would pay or eject out of my ship? Did you really thought that? Well, then you arent that clever hea.

Well, may you burn in hell and never find happiness.

Not so kind regards,

Victim

Then this happened:

http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/121/awesomebounty.jpg/

All over this:

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=13439193
Rhianna Ghost
Eat My Shorts Inc.
Almost Competent
#65 - 2011-09-28 04:33:40 UTC
OK, the CNR was expensive, but the rest? OK, if it's worth two PLEX for him... May I shoot you? One PLEX for you, one PLEX for me?

Ah, well, and the obligatory ask for a sticky, or at least a reason y not...
Laqua
Off-Target
#66 - 2011-09-28 14:16:00 UTC
Rhianna Ghost wrote:
OK, the CNR was expensive, but the rest? OK, if it's worth two PLEX for him... May I shoot you? One PLEX for you, one PLEX for me?

Ah, well, and the obligatory ask for a sticky, or at least a reason y not...



wut?
Cable Udan
WiNGSPAN Delivery Services
WiNGSPAN Delivery Network
#67 - 2011-09-28 16:38:52 UTC
Why no sticky? :(
Chaotic Panda
Distinguished Gentleman's Boating Club
Domain Research and Mining Inst.
#68 - 2011-09-28 19:04:55 UTC
Needs sticky for sure.
CCP Zymurgist
C C P
C C P Alliance
#69 - 2011-09-28 20:01:38 UTC
This is supposed to be sticky. Due to pirating around horse breeding planets our glue supply has been strange. Oh wait, sorry, this isn't IGS, sticky reapplied!

Zymurgist Community Representative CCP NA, EVE Online Contact Us at http://support.eveonline.com/pages/petitions/createpetition.aspx

ChromeStriker
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#70 - 2011-09-28 21:48:04 UTC
CCP Zymurgist wrote:
This is supposed to be sticky. Due to pirating around horse breeding planets our glue supply has been strange. Oh wait, sorry, this isn't IGS, sticky reapplied!


Sometymes even i worry about you Zymurgist

No Worries

Xuse Senna
club penguinn
#71 - 2011-09-29 07:24:08 UTC
CCP Zymurgist wrote:
This is supposed to be sticky. Due to pirating around horse breeding planets our glue supply has been strange. Oh wait, sorry, this isn't IGS, sticky reapplied!



Cheers ^_^

http://img152.imageshack.us/img152/7501/mindgamesceptionfinaldr.jpg

Dirk Magnum
Spearhead Endeavors
#72 - 2011-10-02 16:15:48 UTC
One time there was this guy, he was in Ouelletta, and I was in the pirate alliance SCUM.[full stop]. And he undocked in a Navitas. Well, we were camping that station. I had my Apoc, sensor boosted, and I blew him up. I didn't even ask for ransom or try to salvage the wreck. I just did it, because I'll pad my killboard with anything. ANYTHING!

Behold: http://bluerep.eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=3403677

                      "LIVE FAST DIE." - traditional Minmatar ethos [citation needed]

Rhianna Ghost
Eat My Shorts Inc.
Almost Competent
#73 - 2011-10-03 11:33:20 UTC
Dirk Magnum wrote:
One time there was this guy, he was in Ouelletta, and I was in the pirate alliance SCUM.[full stop]. And he undocked in a Navitas. Well, we were camping that station. I had my Apoc, sensor boosted, and I blew him up. I didn't even ask for ransom or try to salvage the wreck. I just did it, because I'll pad my killboard with anything. ANYTHING!

Behold: http://bluerep.eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=3403677


Uh, yea, great sport. And, so what? Where are the tears? Where is the storyQuestion
Dirk Magnum
Spearhead Endeavors
#74 - 2011-10-03 15:41:53 UTC
Rhianna Ghost wrote:
Dirk Magnum wrote:
One time there was this guy, he was in Ouelletta, and I was in the pirate alliance SCUM.[full stop]. And he undocked in a Navitas. Well, we were camping that station. I had my Apoc, sensor boosted, and I blew him up. I didn't even ask for ransom or try to salvage the wreck. I just did it, because I'll pad my killboard with anything. ANYTHING!

Behold: http://bluerep.eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=3403677


Uh, yea, great sport. And, so what? Where are the tears? Where is the storyQuestion

That is the story. One time I blew a guy in a place.
edit: blew up a guy in a place

                      "LIVE FAST DIE." - traditional Minmatar ethos [citation needed]

Angry Onions
Fast Eddy's X-ploding Diner
#75 - 2011-10-04 05:54:08 UTC
So I was flying around Gallente space, looking for a fun way to dispose of my thrasher I was flying at the time (wasnt worth selling, trashing it was a waste) when I warped my self to a belt that contained very delicious nub-cakes. I proceed with my hopeful act of explosive suicide by canflipping a small gang of miners, 2 were in retrievers, one was a catalyst. I apparently did offend them with my thievery and the three ships proceeded to attack my lone and poorly tanked thrasher. I quickly was able to dispatch of one retriever and the catalyst, of which the retriever was mortally offended that a lone ship could of dealt such a deadly blow against his honor and corporation, because he returned in a Raven and the surviving retriever resumed mining. This is where it gets stupid funny. I get a friend in the system that was flying a Wolf, and he proceeds to canflip the retriever and drew fire from the Raven. Now we both start speedtanking the Raven and it starts melting. There was very little words exchanged as this carebear must of been thinking about seppuko (or however you spell that ****) at the time.

TL;DR version: I can flipped 3 noobs and won with a suicide gank fitted thrasher and a tidbit of backup.
proof will be presented if asked

S H I T P O S T I N G

Cannibal Kane
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#76 - 2011-10-06 05:41:19 UTC
I was on one of my travels and decided to doc up in Jouv.

figured the locals has been getting lax wth me not around there anymore. Scanned the belts on directional and saw a can with a bantam and a Raven.

Warp to and there it was, seems like a two friends mining with the Raven buddie pilot there for Anti Flipper Duties. The can belonging to the Raven pilot and the bantam mining into it.

So I got my little Merlin into gear thinking wth... If I loose it I loose in a blaze of retardation engaging a Raven.

So.. click click, can flipped. The Raven yellow boxes me and starts firing his cruise missles doing a whopping 11 damage. My passive recharge rate was tanking him, so I wait for the drones as I start to engage. No drones? Slowly eating into his shields, slowly wearing him down with my Merlin.

Local erupts into an orgy of TEARS about how can a ship as cheap as mine survive this long against a Raven. 10 minutes later and Jouv Local looking like Jita local the Raven pops.

Threats of petitions for cheating since there is no way a Merlin can kill a Raven.

In this case... Yes it can. Never gage a Character by his age.

Killmail

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk

ChromeStriker
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#77 - 2011-10-06 07:54:44 UTC  |  Edited by: ChromeStriker
Cannibal Kane wrote:


this burns my eYeS!!!!!

No Worries

Alice Saki
Nocturnal Romance
Cynosural Field Theory.
#78 - 2011-10-06 08:03:11 UTC
Cannibal Kane wrote:



This is Worth more than a 'Cool Story Bro' :D

FREEZE! Drop the LIKES AND WALK AWAY! - Currenly rebuilding gaming machine, I will Return.

Cannibal Kane
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#79 - 2011-10-06 08:23:35 UTC
Alice Saki wrote:
Cannibal Kane wrote:



This is Worth more than a 'Cool Story Bro' :D


Sometimes I loose sometimes I win where I don't know how the hell that was possible. Like my 425mm Harbinger killing a Tengu and a Scorpion.

No need to share those since they just logged off afterwards.

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk

Cannibal Kane
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#80 - 2011-10-06 12:48:15 UTC
Another stop, running DSCAN on the belts.. see a miner in a osprey with a can.

Warp to 0 with my little Vengeance I lovingly call Black Sunshine.

Flip the can and away he warps only to come back with a Caracal fitted wit Heavy Launchers. POP goes the Caracal...

And it did not take log for the emails to arrive.

___

Victim: your an ******* you know that? steal my ore and kill me.

Kane: hey.... I did not shoot first. I only defended myself from an agressor. And you jet canned.... which means it is now mine since i collect people trash they dump.

Victim: i was obviously jet can mining...dont try and act like your not a ****

Kane: I did not shoot first, you were obviously the aggressor and ended up on the wrong side of my rockets.... don't try to hide your murderous tendancies. I see right through you.

Victim: my account is less then 2 weeks old...that was the first time i ever attacked anyone..murderous tendancies? i was trying to defend my ore...you just stole my ore for no reason..i did nothing wrong to you. you are pathetic. earn your own and stop stealing the hard work of others

_______

After that it as just more swearing at which point I went on with my business


"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk