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Crime & Punishment

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The Pirate Story Thread

First post First post
New Imperial Legion
#41 - 2011-09-16 03:27:13 UTC
You should post about how your Corp dropped alliance after your 10 man fleet lost to our 3 man fleet That's a story I would like to hear. But yeah also post the self destruct story.

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Cannibal Kane
Amarr Empire
#42 - 2011-09-16 05:53:17 UTC
WatsonMayte wrote:
You should post about how your Corp dropped alliance after your 10 man fleet lost to our 3 man fleet That's a story I would like to hear. But yeah also post the self destruct story.

lol was that the self destruct dude? I will post the local chat log when i am back on my rig.

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk

New Imperial Legion
#43 - 2011-09-16 05:57:06 UTC
No this is a different guy they decked us then lost the first fight to us within about 15 mins of it ending they left the alliance. But that self destruct guy was hella mad lol

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Tarryn Nightstorm
Hellstar Towing and Recovery
#44 - 2011-09-16 06:15:11 UTC
BuzzyBeagle wrote:
So i was AFK jetcan mining in a BattleHulk hoping a greedy little canflipper would try me on for size. I had innocent looking mining drones doing the work for me so it looked like i was totally bearing it up, by not having combat drones.
I mined about 10 minutes dumping ore in a can sitting next to me when a Rifter flies in and goes red.
I target/insta warp/scramble and follow.
I pull in mining drones and release Hobgoblin 2's

The following ensues.

[ 2011.08.05 17:21:02] BuzzyBeagle > hello there
[ 2011.08.05 17:21:12] victim > WTF?
[ 2011.08.05 17:21:18] BuzzyBeagle > you have commited a crime.
[ 2011.08.05 17:21:24] victim > what kind of noob miner has a point and web on a HULK?
[ 2011.08.05 17:21:33] BuzzyBeagle > the kind that does not use a hulk for mining.
(i proceed to kill the rifter that is chipping away at my shield)
[ 2011.08.05 17:22:09] BuzzyBeagle > i hate bears as much as the next guy, but i hate people that are unprepared for unexpected circumstances worse.
[ 2011.08.05 17:22:24] victim > LOL U NOOB KILLING A FRIG WITH A HULK IS NOT FAIR!!!
[ 2011.08.05 17:22:35] BuzzyBeagle > have you not been enlightened in rule one of Eve?
[ 2011.08.05 17:22:50] victim > yeah yeah.. 'trust no-one' well i trusted your mother you #@$$$#
[ 2011.08.05 17:23:03] BuzzyBeagle > that is unfortunate that you trusted her. i hope you enjoy the Herpes that will afflict you for the rest of your pathetic existance.
[ 2011.08.05 17:23:19] victim > @#$% you , you @#$(* @%%hole
[ 2011.08.05 17:24:02] BuzzyBeagle > umadbro?
[ 2011.08.05 17:24:19] victim > if i ever see you im going to #$%^&*% kil lyou
[ 2011.08.05 17:25:50] BuzzyBeagle > i guess i lied. My Hulk is awesome at mining...TEARS.

He should probably go watch this video (It's pretty old, though, I think pre-NOS/pre-WCS nerf--still, a classic!)

Star Wars: the Old Republic may not be EVE. But I'll take the sound of dual blaster-pistols over "NURVV CLAOKING NAOW!!!11oneone!!" any day of the week.

Naburi NasNaburi
#45 - 2011-09-16 06:38:27 UTC
This was a first timer for me and we still laugh about it.

We have 2 alts in our corp who mine Ice while we do "the more important" stuff.
I guess someone had an eye on those alts and figured they are mining semi AFK.

This someone with his 6 man corp war decs us and we were more than happy about it Twisted

Fast forward 2 days this 6 man corp is now a 2 man corp and then a 1 man corp just before downtime.
I checked battleclinic to see where he might be hunting and jumped to that system right after server-up.

There he was, at the gate.... but why was he just a pilot with bad standing? I thought we were at war ?

I checked his profile and there was the answer: he had disbanded his corp and was back in an NPC corp......

I convoed him to find out what happend *snickers*

To sum it down:
We thought you guys were miners / carebears.
And when my corp mates found out that you are not, they left the corp.
I was all alone in the end and I knew I cant win that war.
Btw.. can I join your corp and learn some pvp ?

Seems like we killed a corp without firing a single bullet. Pirate
Tarryn Nightstorm
Hellstar Towing and Recovery
#46 - 2011-09-16 07:14:03 UTC
Beware the mining-bait dual web/dual-neut Exqueror with a well-trained drone-whore at the helm:

So there I was in Hek, looking for some unlicensed ore-containers to confiscate for great justice, when I happened upon this aforesaid Exqueror.

Flipped the can, he does nothing.
I mosey on up to him, give him a friendly bump, only to find myself instantly locked, and he starts blinking red--I saw no sensor-booster effect, so maybe a Passive Targeter?

Anyway, fight's on! Woot! I are kyute space-kitteh, gettin ur kill-mail!

Not so fast--the next effect I saw was the neuting lightning-thingy one.

I set my orbit, only to have my speed reduced to about 100m/s. With an overheated AB....Dual webs...ummmm..."Lolwut?"

Followed in about 30s with "The empty." I'd been plonking away at him, but had hardly scratched his armour...Plated: Uummmm..."Derp?"

Then, out come the Warrior IIs..."Ooooooh, (f-word), -1 Rifter, soon-ish," thinks I, and so it was in short order (there's a reason those little buggers are the frigate-pilot's worst nightmareBlink).

Me in local: Lol, nice bait :)
Him: gf
Me: gf

So, I gotta say, props to that guy, he's doinitrite Twisted

(And he, unlike our rather emotive flipper above, probably did watch that videoCool)

Star Wars: the Old Republic may not be EVE. But I'll take the sound of dual blaster-pistols over "NURVV CLAOKING NAOW!!!11oneone!!" any day of the week.

Xuse Senna
Mind Games.
Suddenly Spaceships.
#47 - 2011-09-16 07:27:50 UTC
Some nice stories, that guy with 303mil ransom, What was he flying?

Chaotic Panda
Distinguished Gentleman's Boating Club
The Phoenix Aberration
#48 - 2011-09-16 12:06:11 UTC
Lol it was only an apocalypse or an armageddon. And the alliance we dropped out of? Lol, we started with some friends and the founders left, so we did too. Obviously not much to stick around for as you can see. :P
Lakshata Chawla
Quantum Cats Syndicate
Dock Workers
#49 - 2011-09-16 13:19:57 UTC
Heh Panda, the post earlier reminds me of what you did to me, good times. Luckily I only lost a drake, how is Xicron lately.
Chaotic Panda
Distinguished Gentleman's Boating Club
The Phoenix Aberration
#50 - 2011-09-16 14:25:58 UTC
LOL, it was exactly what I did to you. You are one of the lucky ones. Some lose navy BSs. :P and Xicron is currently in transit, going with our own leadership for the time being. :)
Xuse Senna
Mind Games.
Suddenly Spaceships.
#51 - 2011-09-16 15:24:01 UTC
I'm shocked anyone falls for this stuff....

Cannibal Kane
Amarr Empire
#52 - 2011-09-17 09:31:36 UTC  |  Edited by: Cannibal Kane
Today a Narwhal flipped my can....

I was shocked to see a Duck here, I have no delusions about what I do... I am an asshat, but to see a duck do the same surprised me.

Anyway engaged and his ship was stabbed.

So that is where i left and went on with my marry way, and here he comes back in a Drake. Awesome i thought, he's an older player so i will get my drake. Knowing I would probly die I engaged.

He went down like a sack of shyte, unfortunately my web and disruptor was not enough to keep him from burning out of range and warping away just as he hit armor.

Today I Missed out on a kill from a running duck...

A side note... I thought the Narwhal's were your more upstanding Alliance, or i am mistaken since they seem to flip cans as well?

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk

Chitsa Jason
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#53 - 2011-09-19 11:58:14 UTC
We have no rules of engagement. Everyone in the alliance is free to engage in PVP as they see fit.

Burn the land and boil the sea You can't take the sky from me

Cannibal Kane
Amarr Empire
#54 - 2011-09-19 12:37:03 UTC
Chitsa Jason wrote:
We have no rules of engagement. Everyone in the alliance is free to engage in PVP as they see fit.

ah ok... I like you guys, in a fondling rubbing kind of way.

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk

Xuse Senna
Mind Games.
Suddenly Spaceships.
#55 - 2011-09-23 13:49:46 UTC
Bump, Should this not be sticky'ed?

Centers for Intergalactic Mercantile Acquisition
#56 - 2011-09-23 15:00:24 UTC
Xuse Senna wrote:
Bump, Should this not be sticky'ed?

agreed. a sticky would provide more exposure to an already epic thread
The Sagan Clan
#57 - 2011-09-23 16:56:16 UTC
I asked for it to be stickied on the previous page, and they actually did it - for about a day :(

"Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom."

Tah'ris Khlador
Space Ghosts.
Break-A-Wish Foundation
#58 - 2011-09-24 06:49:20 UTC
This was by far the best tears and ransom story I've had.

Megathron Navy Issue was doing an anomaly. I looted some of the junk wrecks. He came back and tried to snipe me from 100km.

Local Chat
Victim > it's quiet. to quiet
Tah'ris Khlador > Not enough tears :(
Victim > lol
Victim > it's a trap
Victim > ahh!
Victim > it's him
Tah'ris Khlador > itsa me amario!
Victim > hmmm
Victim > stel from me eh?
Victim > you'll pay
Victim > eventually
Tah'ris Khlador > lol
Victim > rifter picks on the BS eh?
Tah'ris Khlador > its true. I am a mouse to an elephant
Victim > i'll pay isk if u lot eave
Tah'ris Khlador > lol
Victim > 100 mill
Victim > pleae
Tah'ris Khlador > but they're my friends
Victim > just don't kill me ship
Victim > iam begging
local bystander > hmm....i would ask 200m
local bystander > :p
local bystander > tyvm
corp member > ?
Tah'ris Khlador > ??
Tah'ris Khlador > lmao
local bystander > i said 200m

(Turns out the victim started sending money to random people before we'd even opened a conversation. One lucky local got 100 mil. He sent a corpmate 10 mil, and he sent me 120 mil.)

Private Chat
Tah'ris Khlador > link your fit and we can come up with a deal lol
Victim > call everyone off and ill hand over all my isk
Victim > 177 908 718.47 isk
Tah'ris Khlador > sorry, your ship is worth twice that
Victim > it's all i gto!
Victim > it's all i ahev please!
Victim > i'll do anything!
Victim > anthing!
Tah'ris Khlador > you can eject lol or contract me another ship worth a bit
Victim > i'll give u al my remaing ships at (system)!
Victim > just don't kill this one
Tah'ris Khlador > what are those?
Victim > (list of ship names totally about 140 mil)
Victim > plus whats on them
Victim > and evry thing in the hanger
Victim > just everything in my possesion
Victim > (list of possessions in hanger totaling about 20 mil)
Victim > including everythong else
Victim > i swear i'll hand over everything
Tah'ris Khlador > make a contract right now
Tah'ris Khlador > i can view it all on there
Victim > i require only 10k
Victim > it's everything i have
Victim > please just let me go
Tah'ris Khlador > reviewing
Victim > it's all worth more than what i have here
Victim > please iam begging you
Victim > just take it all
Tah'ris Khlador > you're free
Tah'ris Khlador > fly safer
Victim > thank you

(Victim warps to a stargate)

Victim > lol. sucker
Victim > i got better stuff than that

(I take up the chase)

Victim > alright i kid
Victim > not really
Victim > i really am broke
Victim > plese i lied!
Victim > just go away!
Victim > i'll give you whats at (another system)
Victim > just leave me!

(Victim makes it to a station and closes the private chat)

Local Chat
Tah'ris Khlador > (victim) you owe me I think.
Victim > why?
Victim > your not getting any thing else form me
Tah'ris Khlador > "lol. sucker"
Tah'ris Khlador > "i got better stuff than that"
Tah'ris Khlador > "plese i lied!"
Tah'ris Khlador > "just go away!"
Tah'ris Khlador > "i'll give you whats at (other system)"
Victim > yeah i lied
Victim > like i really was
Tah'ris Khlador > See, you lied to me. I don't like liars.
Victim > so
Victim > all i have to do is sit here
Tah'ris Khlador > You're in a merc corp right?
Tah'ris Khlador > Because I like war decs.
Victim > so
Victim > ummmm
Victim > k
Victim > so we only got 4 of us
Tah'ris Khlador > We've decked 2 man corps for lesser crimes.
Tah'ris Khlador > And at least they didn't lie.
Victim > and if i don't hand over this Gallente Alpha Nexus Chip ur ganna war deck
Tah'ris Khlador > That's a start.
Victim > here have the tech 2 stuuf
Victim > hand over 10k and u get the tech 2 stuff
Victim > plus the chip
Tah'ris Khlador > I feel like I can't trust you, since you lied to me.
Tah'ris Khlador > So here's whats gonna happen.
Victim > now i belive we are finished
Victim > (sigh)
Tah'ris Khlador > I'm going to leave, and you're not gonna be dumb in (system) again.
Victim > ......
Tah'ris Khlador > You sent 100 mil to someone not involved in the whole d*mn thing, and that's a 100 mil I don't get.
Tah'ris Khlador > You lie to me again, or show up in (system) really, and I'll find a way to pop you.
Tah'ris Khlador > Cheers

(I warp to the stargate, making to leave)

Victim > (grumble)
Victim > i'll have more money next week at least


Tah'ris Khlador > send me another 50 mil in a week and I'll forgive it all.
Victim > i won't have 500mill next week!

(Added with standing and notification)

Tah'ris Khlador > Until then, you've got a notice that I've added you to keep an eye on you.
Tah'ris Khlador > I said 50, not 500 lol
Victim > oh
Victim > 50 then
Victim > i was ganna say 500 mills a bit far fechetched
Tah'ris Khlador > Remember, 1 week.
Victim > .................
Victim > deal

Member of the Pink Pony Killboard Padding Alliance

Rockets ponies and rainbows
#59 - 2011-09-25 07:33:08 UTC
That was wonderful. :)

Disclaimer: I do not actually play this game, I just forum warrior.

Xuse Senna
Mind Games.
Suddenly Spaceships.
#60 - 2011-09-25 13:53:06 UTC
Great Stuff, Now where is that Sticky? xD