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Operational: Dark Gardens of the Empire

Author
Nauplius
Hoi Andrapodistai
#1 - 2015-11-01 19:43:12 UTC
Recently, the leader of the SFRIM corporation converted the biodome of her luxury yacht into a gardening exhibit, one showcasing gardens from throughout the Empire. It is altogether right that she should do this, for the flora and fauna of this cluster was made for man to glorify God with, and God is glorified when his Chosen create things of beauty from them. But our God is not only a God of goodness and beauty; he is also a God of wrath and cruelty, and so the garden that most glorifies God is the garden that combines unspeakable beauty and unspeakable horror; that is, horror inflicted upon those people whom God created for his Chosen to inflict horror upon; that is, horror inflicted upon slaves.

And so I have been converting the biodome of my own yacht into gardening exhibits, exhibits that synthesize the beauty of God's creation with the horror of slavery. The following exhibits are available —

  • Mountain Terraces of Thasinaz V: A replica of the famed terraces of Thasinaz V, where slaves toil amid monsoon conditions and average temperatures of 312.96 Kelvins, trimming the vines and picking the grapes that make produce some of the finest and sweetest Spiced Wine in the Devoid region. Climate controlled transparent enclosures allow visitors to experience the terraces in comfort; the slaves have no such accommodations. Spiced Wine tastings available for wine-loving visitors.
  • Twenty Minute Gardens of Lower Debyl IV: The holders of Lower Debyl IV have one of the strangest gardening traditions in the cluster. The planet's 59.5 day orbital period already made gardening a high-maintenance endeavor due to the short seasons. Over time, however, they turned these difficulties into a sort of game, flaunting their wealth and status by creating evermore high-maintenance gardens, gardens that could only be cultivated by vast quantities of slaves toiling in the most miserable conditions. Visitors to this exhibit are given only a twenty minute window to experience it in relative privacy; on all other occasions the exhibit teems with slaves desperately trying to keep it operating — visitors are invited to ponder the beauty of the garden and the temporarily invisible misery needed to maintain it.
  • Man-Traps of Uadelah III: The holders of Uadelah III had a problem. Their vast plantations had a runaway slave problem, but slaver hounds performed poorly in the terrible 313.21 Kelvin heat. Fortunately, a solution presented itself in a form of a native carnivorous plant. By selective breeding of this plant, the holders produced the feared “Man-Trap”, a slave-eating plant with which the holders fenced in their plantations. All visitors to my Man-Trap exhibit will experience (from a safe distance) a feeding. A feeding of slaves. Live slaves.
  • Sani-Sabik Blood Garden: The Red Garden for a Red God. A work in progress, my enslaved Sebiestor Science Graduates have been tasked with engineering and hybridizing plant species that are colored various shades of Blood Red, grow in red colored soil, and which respond positively to fertilization with Minmatar blood.

Tours of my new yacht biodome may be given to very select, seriously interested parties. Amen. Amarr Victor.
Diana Kim
Caldari Colonial Defense Ministry
Templis CALSF
#2 - 2015-11-01 19:57:14 UTC
That's a gallente degree decadence with gallente degree of cruelty, Mr. Nauplius!
Shame on you.

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.

Anyanka Funk
BloodLust Enterprises
Amarr Locals Alliance.
#3 - 2015-11-01 20:34:20 UTC
I'd love to see the gardens.
Yarosara Ruil
Test Alliance Please Ignore
#4 - 2015-11-01 21:02:48 UTC
Your taste in landscape horticulture leaves much to be desired, Ser Nauplius.
Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#5 - 2015-11-01 21:55:02 UTC
Diana Kim wrote:
That's a gallente degree decadence with gallente degree of cruelty, Mr. Nauplius!
Shame on you.

No, even we find this disgusting.

A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.

Diana Kim
Caldari Colonial Defense Ministry
Templis CALSF
#6 - 2015-11-01 22:04:55 UTC
Claudia Osyn wrote:
Diana Kim wrote:
That's a gallente degree decadence with gallente degree of cruelty, Mr. Nauplius!
Shame on you.

No, even we find this disgusting.

Tell it to Caldari POWs in hidden gallentean prison camps in Black Rise... I bet they will so disagree.

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.

Merdaneth
Angel Wing.
#7 - 2015-11-01 22:05:33 UTC
It is not up to us to test the slaves as God will do so. It is up to us to teach them well enough to pass the tests. Some of those test might require survival, others might require sacrifice. But it will be sacrifice for a greater purpose, not sacrifice just for the sake of the sacrifice itself.
Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#8 - 2015-11-01 22:11:10 UTC
Diana Kim wrote:
Claudia Osyn wrote:
Diana Kim wrote:
That's a gallente degree decadence with gallente degree of cruelty, Mr. Nauplius!
Shame on you.

No, even we find this disgusting.

Tell it to Caldari POWs in hidden gallentean prison camps in Black Rise... I bet they will so disagree.


If she could tell them then they weren't really hidden well.
Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour
#9 - 2015-11-01 22:24:14 UTC
I, for one, am amazed at the ability of Nauplius to take normal innocuous everyday activities, in this case, gardening, and turn them into something quite different.

Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.

Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#10 - 2015-11-01 22:44:45 UTC
Diana Kim wrote:
Claudia Osyn wrote:
Diana Kim wrote:
That's a gallente degree decadence with gallente degree of cruelty, Mr. Nauplius!
Shame on you.

No, even we find this disgusting.

Tell it to Caldari POWs in hidden gallentean prison camps in Black Rise... I bet they will so disagree.

Bet if you gave them a choice between the two, they'd pick the prison camps.

A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.

Maria Daphiti
PIE Inc.
Praetoria Imperialis Excubitoris
#11 - 2015-11-01 23:23:54 UTC
If I find that thing in space, it's going to become a compost heap!

Actually, no, its debris will be scattered to fine atoms until they drift into the star fueling the next cycle of cosmic creation (and gardens).
Nauplius
Hoi Andrapodistai
#12 - 2015-11-01 23:59:28 UTC
Anyanka Funk wrote:
I'd love to see the gardens.


You may not. You have made yourself an enemy by participating in the ambush of my Punisher a few days ago.
Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#13 - 2015-11-02 00:04:59 UTC
Nauplius wrote:
Anyanka Funk wrote:
I'd love to see the gardens.


You may not. You have made yourself an enemy by participating in the ambush of my Punisher a few days ago.

Well that's a little suprising....
Aria Jenneth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#14 - 2015-11-02 00:45:48 UTC
Valerie Valate wrote:
I, for one, am amazed at the ability of Nauplius to take normal innocuous everyday activities, in this case, gardening, and turn them into something quite different.


Ms. Valate, I'm trying to think of something-- anything-- really creative he's done that was his own idea. People have to be careful what they say around him, because he's shameless about stealing ideas.

Left to his own devices ...

"Oh, you like gardens, do you? Well ... let me just show you how HORRIBLE gardens can be!

"Behold! For here we have ... bad working conditions! And other bad working conditions! And man-eating plants! And blood-DRINKING plants! ... what's their color you ask? Why, RED, of course!

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"

....

So-- I'm sorry. I can't really agree with you.

He's a hack. Which makes me feel even worse for the people he's doing this to, actually. They suffer and die, and what they're suffering and dying for ... it's not even any good.
Elmund Egivand
Sebestacny Circle
#15 - 2015-11-02 03:39:09 UTC
You wanna know what's worse?

He isn't going to undock that Yacht.

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.

Aria Jenneth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#16 - 2015-11-02 04:47:06 UTC
Elmund Egivand wrote:
You wanna know what's worse?

He isn't going to undock that Yacht.


... yeah. Even if he does, it'll be a problem to catch it.
Elmund Egivand
Sebestacny Circle
#17 - 2015-11-02 05:05:27 UTC
Aria Jenneth wrote:
Elmund Egivand wrote:
You wanna know what's worse?

He isn't going to undock that Yacht.


... yeah. Even if he does, it'll be a problem to catch it.


It will require a Raptor or a Stiletto with dual points/scrams to catch him.

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.

Nauplius
Hoi Andrapodistai
#18 - 2015-11-02 12:33:55 UTC
Aria Jenneth wrote:

Ms. Valate, I'm trying to think of something-- anything-- really creative he's done that was his own idea. People have to be careful what they say around him, because he's shameless about stealing ideas.


I built a Temple for the summoning of demons bound to the destruction of Minmatar bloodlines. No one, except perhaps God himself through inspiration, suggested that one.
Arrendis
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
#19 - 2015-11-02 12:39:48 UTC
Oh, please, demon-summoning temples have been a staple of popular fiction forever. You really can't claim a shred of originality in that.
Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour
#20 - 2015-11-02 18:18:16 UTC
Aria Jenneth wrote:
Valerie Valate wrote:
I, for one, am amazed at the ability of Nauplius to take normal innocuous everyday activities, in this case, gardening, and turn them into something quite different.

Ms. Valate, I'm sorry. I can't really agree with you.


Well, we'll see who's right, if and when Nauplius announces he's taken up philately or numismatics that somehow involves sacrificing Minmatar to the Red God.

Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.

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