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People who ride bicycles (on roads) should be run down

Author
Jada Maroo
Native Freshfood
Minmatar Republic
#1 - 2011-10-14 17:35:01 UTC  |  Edited by: CCP Spitfire
I was on my way to see a movie the other day and passed by a pack of those tights/speedo-wearing, Whole Foods-shopping, bike riding weirdos peddling along on the side of the street. I didn't really think much of them other than my usual "I hope they get run over." -- I'm fairly live and let live after all - but then I noticed up ahead that a sherriff's department patrol car was parked sideways in the intersection, blocking traffic both ways. As it turns out there was some sort of bike event or something and they were turning onto the main road, meaning all of us in cars who drive on roads like normal human beings had to stop and wait for all these freaks to make their turn on the route.

The wrongness of it all really struck me as I was waiting there for a good 2-3 minutes. Since when do bikes get a right of way? If people want to ride bicycles on roads they ought to: A. Attach a motor to the bike or buy/ride a motorcycle instead - seriously, no one is impressed by your silly little bicycle and B. Have to compete with and dodge/evade traffic in a survival of the fittest scenario like other animals (like deer) must do in the road.

This is simple Newtonian physics. My vehicle has more mass and acceleration than your bicycle. Therefore I win. The laws of the universe say that car/truck > bicycle every time they exchange forces in a collision.

Inappropriate comment removed. Spitfire
Zagam
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#2 - 2011-10-14 17:38:26 UTC
You were abused/deprived/dropped on your head as a child, weren't you?

1/10 for trolling, the point is for originality.
KaarBaak
Squirrel Team
#3 - 2011-10-14 17:44:35 UTC
My guess...it went something like this:

OPs friends: Don't you know how to ride a bike?
OP: of course I do. My dad taught me when I was four years old.
Friend: Prove it.

OP starts taking off his clothes.

Friend: Uh...wtf are you doing??
OP: This is how my daddy taught me.
Friends: Dude...

OP calls dad in prison to ask 'wtf' then goes to bedroom and logs into EvE Forums.

Dum Spiro Spero

Myfanwy Heimdal
Heimdal Freight and Manufacture Inc
#4 - 2011-10-14 18:09:56 UTC
It is the whole two and three minutes that the OP had to wait which amused me.

Yes, i do use a bicycle. Makes sense going to/from the pub and, not only that, in summer when the grockles flock to the local area it's the fastest way to get into town, shop and get out again. And, yes, I can get over a dozen bottles of wine in my back pack and panniers.

Pam:  I wonder what my name means in Welsh?Nessa: Why?

Alara IonStorm
#5 - 2011-10-14 18:19:48 UTC  |  Edited by: Alara IonStorm
KaarBaak wrote:
My guess...it went something like this:

OPs friends: Don't you know how to ride a bike?
OP: of course I do. My dad taught me when I was four years old.
Friend: Prove it.

OP starts taking off his clothes.

Friend: Uh...wtf are you doing??
OP: This is how my daddy taught me.
Friends: Dude...

OP calls dad in prison to ask 'wtf' then goes to bedroom and logs into EvE Forums.



Bolded the parts that I do not understand???
stoicfaux
#6 - 2011-10-14 19:04:35 UTC
Note to Self: Don't put Jada Maroo in charge of issuing Parade Permits.

Pon Farr Memorial: once every 7 years, all the carebears in high-sec must PvP or they will be temp-banned.

Jada Maroo
Native Freshfood
Minmatar Republic
#7 - 2011-10-14 19:20:41 UTC  |  Edited by: Jada Maroo
stoicfaux wrote:
Note to Self: Don't put Jada Maroo in charge of issuing Parade Permits.




Oh, that's another thing that happened to me just last month.

Close to where I live there are some railroad tracks atop a small hill and you can't see what's on the other side until you go over the hump. So I didn't know what I was about to drive into. Sure enough I drive over the tracks and to my horror - a ******* parade.

Thankfully it wasn't one of those rodeo parades with perma-crapping horses they sometimes have around here but it still blocked traffic. But it wasn't the parade that really annoyed me that time. It was the Cub Scouts. The little twerps were being pulled along on the back of a fire truck throwing candy. Several pieces hit my car. They didn't do any damage, of course, but it's the principle of it.

You don't just throw stuff you think may hit a car. I don't care if you're not trying to hit the car. If you're too puny to throw over the road, or if you're just going to fling it aimlessly like a chimpanzee with a piece of poo, then do me a favor and just hand it over to the fat Cub Scout kid to eat instead.
Zagam
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#8 - 2011-10-14 19:24:38 UTC
Dude. Seriously. Relax.

Go drink a few beers with your friends. Go get laid. Go fap in the corner of your room crying. Just freakin RELAX.
leviticus ander
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#9 - 2011-10-14 19:28:10 UTC
Myfanwy Heimdal wrote:
It is the whole two and three minutes that the OP had to wait which amused me.

Yes, i do use a bicycle. Makes sense going to/from the pub and, not only that, in summer when the grockles flock to the local area it's the fastest way to get into town, shop and get out again. And, yes, I can get over a dozen bottles of wine in my back pack and panniers.


same here. I can use back routes, there are bike paths everywhere around where I live, and I can bike just about anywhere downtown and I can quite often actually do that faster than people in a car can.

and as to the

Quote:
This is simple Newtonian physics. My vehicle has more mass and acceleration than your bicycle. Therefore I win. The laws of the universe say that car/truck > bicycle every time they exchange forces in a collision.


I've actually been hit a few times (all of them while I was in a cross walk) and every time I've come out on top. worse that has happened to me was I broke a pedal on my bike. I have taken out headlights, bumpers, and grills. so you may have mass on our side, but I have flexibility on my side, and lots of poky bits.
oh, and I'm not one of those spandex wearing people, I actually hate those people. I really don't need to see every curve and bump on their body.
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#10 - 2011-10-14 20:19:43 UTC
FYI chimpanzees are actually pretty accurate while flinging crap

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny

Slade Trillgon
Brutor Force Federated
#11 - 2011-10-14 21:26:02 UTC
I have a special little place in my dark heart for my hatred of bicyclists, but to play devils advocate, bicycles are considered motor vehicles by law and in most places you are actually prohibited from riding them on sidewalks. Smart localities provide bike lanes, but unfortunately most localities are not smart.

Also, many localitites block off roads for any number of reasons from parades to motor car races, so nothing new here.

Twisted


Sade
Herzog Wolfhammer
Sigma Special Tactics Group
#12 - 2011-10-14 22:10:51 UTC
Kinda sad how demographics - and possibly politics - get worked into vehicle choice and exercise.

Don't like it much.

You are either a spandex-wearing granola-munching welfaremongering liberal democrat on a bike or a big fat burger-eating warmongering conservative in an SUV.

I'd ride a bike if I felt the need but I prefer to run 6 miles every other day. I like burgers too, and Subarus are nice cars but would prefer an SUV since I use an old diesel Mercedes to get around anyway. I won't touch a burger that didn't come from the food co-op I get my food at - yes I said Co-op and I open carry my gun there too and even the women with the hairy armpits aren't bothered by that.

Once I got stopped by a cop during my 6 mile run in the backroads. I was wearing a sweatshirt, plain running shoes, and army BDU pants desert camo. Got stopped because I didn't look like someone who was out for exercise.

Good thing I didn't wear my old combat boots too then?

So I gotta wear spandex and look like a stupid yuppie from Seattle or not exercise at all and be a big fat neocon instead in order to be left alone?

I would like to wish there was a place for people like me, but I am afraid that both sides of the unitary power bloc that runs things and pretends to be against each other already has a place for me - complete with towers and dogs.

Bring back DEEEEP Space!

RubenX
The Drifters
#13 - 2011-10-14 22:32:06 UTC  |  Edited by: RubenX
Cyclist here... you don't know what you are missing. And since Einstein did it, it's geeky too. Get a road bike and take that lane!

PS: About the bicycle specific pants... word of caution: The acceptance of men in lycra decreases exponentially with distance from the bike.
Obsidian Dagger
Nitrus Nine
#14 - 2011-10-15 01:24:04 UTC
I cycle. Usually in jeans and fleecy because Scotland is too frakking cold for lycra as far as I'm concerned.

I got hit by a taxi once. Smashed his windscreen, I rolled off and walked away.
Been sideswiped a couple times, by people like the OP. I have steel pedals, left some nice long grooves down the paint on more than one car.

I prefer off road cycling really, but expediency means I use the roads a lot. Something to be said for buying a vehicle I can fully maintain myself at home, with no tax or fuel costs, and is in most cities nowadays, just as quick - if not QUICKER - at getting around on as a car.

If I need to go further afield than 20 miles or so, I get the train or bus.

Whats the price of gasoline nowadays? I really don't know, I don't use the stuff.
Road tax?
Maintenance?
MOT?



TL:DR
OP is jealous.
leviticus ander
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#15 - 2011-10-15 01:38:45 UTC
Obsidian Dagger wrote:
I cycle. Usually in jeans and fleecy because Scotland is too frakking cold for lycra as far as I'm concerned.


kind of similar here. not so much the cold since I don't notice the cold. but because, one, I hate spandex, two, I wear this to school so I need something functional to hold my wallet, cell, keys, things like that, and three, I really hate spandex.
and as to the damaging jackasses vehicles, my shoulder took off a rear view mirror on my way home from school today. they were using the bike lane as a turning lane and apparently didn't see my headlight, or me, or my bike. a bit sore, but well worth it since they are out a rear view mirror on what looked like a fairly new car.
Vicker Lahn'se
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#16 - 2011-10-15 01:53:59 UTC
The irony here is that you wouldn't have had to wait if you were on a bike.
Sir Substance
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#17 - 2011-10-15 07:15:01 UTC  |  Edited by: Sir Substance
Slade Trillgon wrote:
I have a special little place in my dark heart for my hatred of bicyclists, but to play devils advocate, bicycles are considered motor vehicles by law and in most places you are actually prohibited from riding them on sidewalks.

Which is pants on head ******** for two reasons:

1. Bicycles don't have motors. Those are called motorbikes, they are considerably better modes of transport then bicycles.
2. Cyclists do less damage to pedestrians then cars do to cyclists

The beatings will continue until posting improves. -Magnus Cortex

Official Eve Online changelist: Togglable PvP. - Jordanna Bauer

BLACK-STAR
#18 - 2011-10-15 07:33:58 UTC
OP, you honestly sound like an impatient ass-hole. and those kind of women drivers that cut across lanes or neither yield.

stop nagging
VKhaun Vex
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#19 - 2011-10-15 09:00:26 UTC  |  Edited by: VKhaun Vex
I hate the transportation situation leaning so hard towards cars.

It's funny to me, to see people talk about the early pioneers and their hardships. Today we have GPS, sure, but try walking the continent. Every major road is completely illegal to cross on foot, not to mention dangerous. Every state line is paperwork for anything you carry. Every park has hours or restrictions. Every area of open land is grounds for someone to shoot you for trespassing. Kill animals for food? Drink water from a river? LOL

Our technology to make our lives better does not stack up against our nature to make eachother's lives worse.

How many times have you sat in traffic thinking someone walking or on a bike is 'getting there' better than you are? Bad news, friend-o: A car with one person in it, or a motorcycle, is our upgrade from a HORSE which runs faster than a bike or person while it carries more.

Charges Twilight fans with Ka-bar -Surfin's PlunderBunny LIIIIIIIIIIINNEEEEE PIIIEEEECCCCEEE!!!!!!! -Taedrin Using relativity to irrational numbers is smart -rodyas I no longer believe we landed on the moon. -Atticus Fynch

Astenion
Zeeman Industries
The Ancients.
#20 - 2011-10-15 11:40:56 UTC
OP has the right idea. I can't speak for the rest of Europe but in Italy bicyclists act like they own the road. They've created bike paths alongside the road for them, but that's not good enough so they ride on the road anyway. It's always said spandex-wearing tools as well.

Fortunately, they've begun new laws stating that if you're caught riding on the road when there's a bike path for you, you'll be fined. Finally.
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