Out of Pod Experience

walks in ...
farts in the room...

walks out

*Sees liafcipe being dragged by female ninjas and doesn't asks as she's seen wildest things, and has made some too*

*door shuts behind the gang and suddenly the logs show nothing*

Soon™

I've been waiting all day for you to come online :P

Yiole Gionglao vs Kirjava

- Let me announce the wrestlers! On this side of the ring, Miss Yiole Gionglao! Over six feet of smexyness, skill and grace, hailing from the core of the Caldari nation!

Yiole removed her warming robe and graciously waved her arms and shook her hips, showing up her curvy figure and the sports garment covering it. She had lost too many bras to allow it happen again!

- And over there at that side of the ring, Kirjava! He's hot, he's smart, he's the victim of the incoming slaughter! All cheer up Kirjava!

Kirjava removed his own warming robe, exposing a g-string which inmediatley polarized the public into two irreconciliable sides: those who thought that front was better and those who thought that back was the best angle, and as cameras focused on the later, Kirjava's ass emanation caused hordes of ancient greeks to abandon paedophlia and swear eternal love to 30-somes.

- Wow, hot stuff on the ring! Let the fight begin... now!

Yiole, being a skilled amateur, had been thinking on how to win; she wanted a fast fight because she didn't counted much on what her skill and physical shape could do against the crude biological advantage of having more muscular mass -and she hadn't fought many men, not in circunstances were medical assistance meant disqualification...

So Yiole grappled, swinged, threw, swept and held, trying to pin Kirjava long enough to swing some Nutella into his mouth and hold it shut until he swallowed; but each time Kirjava would twist and shake free in a burst of force, and soon Yiole realized he had a fast musculature, whereas hers was tuned to be well balanced; and so the effort began wearing Yiole down, as Kirjava mostly avoided her and playfully tried to pull her clothes.

Ish hit a gong and there was a small break in the match, which Kirjava used to show up her muscles and put the g-string to good use. Some of the spectators grew too hot and a quarrel started, trying to resolve wich angle was best; and then some of the fighters tried to take Nutella from the ring and Ishtanchuk pulled out a Colt 1911 and shot several times in the air, and the fighting at the chairs stopped. Then Ish hit the gong and the match continued.

Kirjava noticed how Yiole was tiring, but he also was very tired, and Yiole's moves were wearing him down; his left arm had been hit so many times that it refused to stop aching, and his ankles shaked with the effort to not slip on the Nutella. He also had a certain issue with his sexual appetite, watching Yiole as she moved and panted close to him, reminding Kirjava what her clothes were concealing; and he was determined to get rid of that sport bra at any time, if he just could avoid Yiole crushing him against the ring each two moves. Again Yiole closed in and threw him and tried to pin him; Kirjava shook and relased and then Yiole tried to move away, but she slipped on the Nutella. Kirjava saw a chance and plumetted on her as she hit tthe ring down on her belly...

- Damn -thought Yiole as she sunk into the Nutella, and then Kirjava hit her back like a train. Yiole tried to stand up, but Kirjava desperately twisted his limbs around hers and managed to pin her in a unorthodox manner; and if Yiole had been fresher, that would had ended there. Instead, her attempt to shake Kirjava failed and then he started piling Nutella against her face. Yiole twisted desperately but some of the stuff got into her nose and she inhaled it unwillingly, and then she bursted in tears and started coughingh as the Nutella irritated her air tract. Feeling that victory was near, Kirjava swept a massive wave of Nutella and slammed it on Yiole's face; she got her mouth full and swallowed some, and then Kirjava released her so she could regain her breath.

- Kirjava wins! I don't dare to call that a clean victory, seeing the chocolatey mess on Yiole, but she clearly had to swallow!

Kirjava started leaping around the ring, raising his arms as the crowd cheered; meanwhile Yiole had regained her breath and tried to shake hands with Kirjava, but he didn't noticed her intent. Then Yiole turned away and Kirjava swiftly grappled her bra from behind and wrapped it up, undressing her bossom. As Yiole's breasts popped out and dropped in a heavy and satisfactory bounce, the crowd went hectic and Kirjava smiled crazily. But alas!, the lower cuff of the brassier had painfully scratched Yiole's nipples, and before anyone coold notice, she turned her head, aimed, and then turned her torso and hit Kirjava's eyes with her fingers.

Kiajva inmediately collapsed on the Nutella ring, yelling in pain.

- SH*T! That hurts! My eyes, oh god how this hurts!

Yiole tried to gather her bossom again without unlocking the bra, but that proved diffcult and she just picked some Nutella to spread it on her breasts and mask them. Then she left the ring as a crowd gathered around Kirjava and some of the patrons booed Yiole. Ishtanchuk ran between the crowd and stood in Yiole's way.

- What are you doing? Are you crazy?
- Get out, Ish. I'm not in the mood.
- Yiole, you..!

Then Yiole grabbed Ish's arm, staining her clothes in Nutella, and gently but firmly pulled her out of her way.

- Not now, Ishtanchuk, not now.

Ish looked up and into her friend's eyes and realized she was quite unsettled. Back at the ring, Kirjava was recovering as Yiole hadn't hit him hard, and was trying his best to convince some of the female patrons to let him "test his eyes" on them. A Gallentean cutie giggled histerically when he said something about "letting to check wether he could see those little teets from away" and the crowd laughed, and nobody else than Ish and Indahmawar saw Yiole leaving the room, going to the gym and the showers...

As Kirjava solicited the pretty young patrons for some assistance, the house lights dimmed down and the automated spots swiveled and swung about. The crowd hushed as the lights knifed their way about the patrons.

“Ladies and Gentlemen!” the voice boomed. “In our third round, the finest filly of the Kaltana stables and member of Kaltana Industries…” The voice grew in power, encouraging the crowd to greater levels of applause. “Please welcome…”

The swiveling lights pivoted to the far locker room where two overly muscled and overly tanned men stepped through the door. Both were wearing ancient styled “Ten Gallon” hats, gun belts over tooled leather chaps and thongs. Their muscular chests gleamed with oil as they stepped out of the locker room and into the spotlights; each raised an archaic six shot pistol and smiled vapidly to the crowd.

“…CHLOE KALTANA!!” the announcer finished, releasing the pent up energy of the crowd in a roar of approval. The two gleaming gunmen, fired simultaneously, causing more than a couple of the less focused patrons to dive for cover. In the momentary distraction of the gunfire, Chloe stepped out.

She was dressed in a glossy white robe that gleamed in the collective spotlights. Perched on her head was a headdress shaped like a glossy white mane that flowed down the back of the robe to meet with a matching glossy white tail. She drew open the bottom of her robe, exposing muscled legs and heels that gave the impression of hooves. She turned sidelong, and struck a pose that was reminiscent of a rearing horse and flashed a bright grin that invigorated the applause of the bar’s patrons. The two escorts fired an additional round from their ancient weapons and Chloe turned to strut down the ramp to the ring, slowly crossing feet with each step. She held her head high and proud, as she approached the crowd.

“And her opponent,” the announcer continued as Chloe continued posing just outside the ring of Nutella; spotlights beginning their hypnotic spirals. “heralding from ….” , the announcer was cut off as a loud crash issued from the opposing locker room. The crowd started when the locker room door was forcibly smashed open and landing across the hall in an upside-down heap was another of the overly oiled and tanned assistants. The fourth of the quartet scurried out of the room and ran down the ramp as if the hounds of Hell were chasing him.

“um, heralding from parts unknown, “ the announcer continued, obviously floundering from the unexpected scene. “ the terror of Suddenly Spaceships…” The spotlights illuminated a petite woman with a coffee cup clutched in one hand and a wild mop of red hair. She turned her glare to the crowd and yawned broadly, emphasizing the smeared red lipstick that trailed halfway to her left ear. She wore a threadbare oversized sleep shirt that proudly announced “I Make Grown Men Cry”.

“ALICE SAKI!!” the announcer finished, stirring the crowd from their stunned silence and rousing them to reclaim their volume. The pale woman shielded her eyes as the spotlights swept up to surround her. She lifted her coffee cup to take a sip and scowled into cup, viewing the contents. With a visible snarl, she dumped the remaining contents on the upturned rump of the unconscious assistant. After dropping the mug on the unfortunate man’s head, she turned and stomped her way down the ramp.

Chloe continued her posing, hoping to energize her cheering fan base and hoping to deflect some of the attentions away from Alice. When Saki approached the ring, however, she yawned again loudly and with crossed arms, pulled the thread bare sleep shirt over her head exposing a finely-toned body dressed in a bright yellow thong bikini with the universal biohazard symbol emblazoned on it. Chloe, not to be outdone, removed the headdress and seductively slid out of the glossy white robe revealing a white microkini against naturally tanned skin. Chloe turned to give the audience a full look at her long and tight musculature. Alice stifled a yawn.

At the sound of the bell, both jumped into the ring of Nutella with the predicted result of both loosing their footing and falling on their backsides. Chloe began to stand slowly, her height being a disadvantage in the chocolatey muck while Alice spun quickly and began pumping her legs in a simulated sprint but managed only to have both her hands and feet shoot out from underneath her, plopping her face unceremoniously in the spread.

*Ishtanchuk Fazmarai is reviewing old e-mails and notices that Indahmawar sent her an e-mail rather than send it to her own address*

"So, what's this? What did you sent yourself, Indah?"

Good ideas for the upcoming wrestle combat.

"HMOG..."

thanks Zoe! Was fun to write. Hopefully Chloe was fine with the whole Horse/Cowboy motif.

I figured the precedent had been set.

Could SOMEONE please address the elephant in the room... ?

MOAR QUAFE WITH BEER!!

*hic*

Where did that horse go again...