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Crime & Punishment

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[Mercenaries - Surely You're Joking] W-SPACE NULLSEC LOWSEC MERCS!!!

First post First post
Pell Helix
Aether Ventures
#1 - 2012-03-17 05:22:22 UTC  |  Edited by: Pell Helix
I figured this post being years old it could definitely use a new coat of paint!

Hire us to murder the people you hate!

Who am I?

I'm Pell Helix, insane, and a moderator of the wonderful Merc Contracts channel. Join it in-game to find a merc for you!

Who is Surely You're Joking?

We are a band of killers, we currently reside in Nullsec, after having lived in Low, and W-Space and we have an impeccable record for Mercenary Services.

We always get the job done.

Now on to the part you care about, what we offer!


  • Invasions
  • System Defense
  • Interdiction
  • Support


  • Camps
  • Structure Removal
  • Support
  • Asset Denial


  • Camps
  • Structure Removal
  • Support
  • Asset Denial

I'm not going to go into details on services, you don't read that much anyway. If you need something shot, we'll shoot it. That's EVE in a nut shell isn't it? Pay us to bring the guns you can't, or you don't want to. No job to big, no job to small.

Our KB:

Contacts: Pell Helix
Boltzy Tsero
#2 - 2012-03-17 15:51:13 UTC
Recommended service - these guys get the job done.
Zariah Oken
#3 - 2012-03-18 06:58:53 UTC
Very Competant group of pilots. Would definately recommend them if your in need of someone to help you out. Still if your in wormholes and you can't look after yourself you shouldn't be in wormholes so the evac package is jsut the one for you :D

+1 for improving the quality of WH dwelling corps.
Native Freshfood
Minmatar Republic
#4 - 2012-03-18 17:19:11 UTC
Friendly bump for the competition! Cool

Blog: Twitter: @Cipreh I am also available on Skype, details available upon request. Feel free to contact me via any of the above methods,or in-game.

Naga Elohim
Aeras Krekan Syndicate
#5 - 2012-03-19 17:49:13 UTC
Bumpity Bump Bump Bump
Nathan Jameson
Grumpy Bastards
#6 - 2012-03-20 11:38:18 UTC
I never joke. And don't call me Shirley.

Explorer Corps
#7 - 2012-03-20 18:40:02 UTC
I will give you a bump Pell.
good pilots

Go get em killer!Big smile

[b][u]ROVER[/u] (REDRUM)[/b]

Bernie Nator
Habitual Euthanasia
Pandemic Legion
#8 - 2012-03-20 18:47:20 UTC
Nathan Jameson wrote:
I never joke. And don't call me Shirley.

This was a bad week to stop sniffing airplane glue.
kiki mo
Suddenly Ninjas
Tear Extraction And Reclamation Service
#9 - 2012-03-20 21:42:50 UTC
Bernie Nator wrote:
Nathan Jameson wrote:
I never joke. And don't call me Shirley.

This was a bad week to stop sniffing airplane glue.

Wormhole PVP: it's a different kind of PVP altogether
Chitsa Jason
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#10 - 2012-03-20 22:28:08 UTC
Congrats :) About the time you did it :)

Burn the land and boil the sea You can't take the sky from me

Marcus McTavish
Volcel Police
#11 - 2012-03-31 00:43:08 UTC
Not going to lie here, these guys have saved my buns on multiple occasions.

My first interaction with this group was from when I bought a wormhole from them. The sale was handled professionally and smoothly, even with a cap ship involved.

Time passed on in my wormhole, until a few weeks later, when i received a notice of the upcoming "relocation of my assets". Then when my tower was being reinforced by these hostiles. I bat-phoned for their services, and to my surprise they had 40 people to counter the attack within an hour. Out of thin air! They managed to sneak up on the attackers, using a variety of clever tactics, and make them head for the hill.

Not to mention that they allowed me to participate in an op of theirs, an eviction of another alliance, for some sick kill mails, but the following day, they saved my wormhole again. They forced off a 2nd band of attackers. On top of that they managed to give me some great advice, fun times, and new experiences.

I can recommend this alliance as a prompt, professional, fun, ass-whooping group of mercs.

Marcus McTavish
aka Damsel in distress :p
Pell Helix
Aether Ventures
#12 - 2012-04-16 20:32:54 UTC
We are available for a new contract.
Jim Roebuck
State War Academy
Caldari State
#13 - 2012-04-23 22:56:05 UTC
Saw you guys flying around bit and remembered this thread, so here's a bump.

When Bon Scott died and he appeared before St. Peter at the gates of Heaven, St. Peter looked at his record and told him he couldn't get in. Just then, God screams at Peter, "Let him in, Karen Carpenter is driving me nuts. I want to hear some music with balls. We'll haggle over the paperwork later." At least I hope that's what happened.

JC Anderson
#14 - 2012-04-24 16:57:09 UTC
Call ME shirley!
Count of MonteCylon
Task Force 641
Empyrean Edict
#15 - 2012-04-24 19:52:22 UTC
How long do wormholes last? I'm new but thought it wasn't very long...

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. -- Ephesians 6:12

Daphny Naarma
Imperial Academy
Amarr Empire
#16 - 2012-04-25 15:06:40 UTC
Count of MonteCylon wrote:
How long do wormholes last? I'm new but thought it wasn't very long...

The wormhole 'space' will never dissapear. It is the gates (just like warp gates between normal systems) that dissapear (in fact, they normally change location).
Coeus Moirae
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#17 - 2012-04-29 03:05:16 UTC
These guys really know what they're doing. They fulfilled my contract in the very witty way and even after it was over they checked up on me to see if everything was alright. GREAT GUYS
cynthia greythorne
Blue Cat Instrumentality
#18 - 2012-06-01 23:22:40 UTC
Thank you for your efforts on our behalf. I will not hesitate to recommend you to my friends and allies. Big smile
Imperial Shipment
Amarr Empire
#19 - 2012-06-04 18:23:27 UTC  |  Edited by: aborigene
Very good job, I recommend.
Russian Republic of International Agencies
#20 - 2012-06-11 04:41:33 UTC
Not only are these guys awesome, they act efficently and took care of the issue before i even knew they started.

they are professional, honest, and willing to work with you on how to handle what needs to be done, i recommend these guys to anyone who ever needs help. best merc service ive ever worked with.
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