Crime & Punishment

January 1st a new U-MAD director wanted to lead a crusade against Marmite and battle test the new recruits by cracking that Marmite egg and spreading all that delicious down-under yolk between our toes.

Always seeking content, we agreed that POH would once again start up the war machine and start our yearly crusade against Marmite. This time would be different. POH had enlisted many new recruits who were more adept at playing station games than hunter-killer small gang operation that have been proven successful. This war with Marmite would battle test the new recruits.

And we were doing so well until…

Marmite attacks one of our fleets – yep, the station campers. No surprise that Marmite brought overwhelming numbers, logistics, jams, alts, their alts alts and some cheering soccer moms. After winning that engagement, Marmite pounded on their chests and patted each other’s backs as they celebrated their well-deserved win against some of POH station campers.

It was understandable. I don’t remember if Marmite had ever won a fleet fight against us. This may have been their very first. I think there were also some unconfirmed rumors of cheers bleeding over on TS, “Tora, Tora, He’s our man…”

Meanwhile, it was obviously time to clean house. Pilots that regularly played station games were encouraged to join/form corporations outside of The Pursuit of Happiness. The line had been drawn. It was time to return to our core style of pvp (i.e., winning). To our surprise, many members did leave. Deadly Fingertips along with some close friends left the alliance. We wish them all the best of luck.

It’s better to be small and effective rather than big and useless [comments welcomed].

Marmite immediately went on a smear campaign with videos and articles in the Eve Forums, Eve Skunk, Eve News, and Reddit. The Marmite cheering stand was loud, obnoxious and to be honest, somewhat premature. This war was far from over.

We decided to stay quiet, take the high road and let the facts and our great looking pilots be our voice. Now that our war is over, here are the numbers:
1. POH have been at war with Marmite 3 times
2. Each of those wars has been initiated by POH
3. POH has won every war with Marmite, both in isk and ships killed
4. During the first war, POH killed 112 (14,782,780,771.20 ISK) vs Marmite 9 (1.4 B ISK)
5. War 2: POH killed 13 (3.1 B ISK) vs Marmite 3 (0.3 B ISK)
6. War 3: POH killed 25 (5,5 B ISK) vs 12 (4.6 B ISK)
7. Overall: POH killed 150 (23.3 B ISK) vs 24 (6.3 B ISK)

How did we do it? We added more win. We reaffirmed our commitment to small gang hunter-killer precision engagements that had made us such an effective pvp corp. After re-sharpening our skills in null and WH space, we re-focused our attention back on the war.

As the Marmite losses began to trickle in, the forum chest pounding slowed, and then stopped.

With chests now firmly kicked in, Marmites scattered to the safety of their stations as our mains or known alts came within 2 jumps of their locations. Even the Marmite station campers modified their tactics, by immediately warping off station as soon as they aggro with POH nearby.

Except for the sounds of exploding Marmite, all is quiet.

TL; DR: The Pursuit of Happiness – 3; Mermaids - 0

Finally a we won post with some figures to back it up

PoH didn't really kill much this month compared to some of the other merc entities out there. I don't see how you think big means useless.

I can understand if you want to minimise losses, then risk-aversion will help you. Station undocks can be dangerous places after all. But you talk of "station campers" as if they are a tangible group of players, and I think you are being unfair. Maybe due to the vast amount of kills these guys rack up on undocks you fail to see on their killboards when they do other stuff?

Many of these so-called station campers you speak of are quite adept at hunting out targets, roaming, and all other forms of PvP. The fact they brave the dangerous station undocks too makes them more rounded PvP'ers.

And it is clearly an effective tactic, since the top merc groups that allow station camping get way more kills than those who avoid it. Granted, they might lose more too, but the risk reward is fair I think. Good station campers destroy way more than they lose.

If you just want to focus on hunting easier targets though, with scouts in every direction to watch for incoming, so you can overwhelm your foe and avoid loss, then fair enough. I won't knock it. Just remember that others out there don't care about losing ships, and they do damn good work in all areas of PvP!

Are the stats made up?

Thanks for the clarification, I didn't see that through his tears.

Yeah, C&P is generally full of epic tales of misadventure, because one liners are boring. This was an interesting read. Is there a Marmite side of the story in the works?

Abridged version goes something like this:

POH waged jihad against awful mercs.
A small proportion of aforementioned awful mercs got **** together and stomped on PoH hublards.
Awful mercs puffed chestz.
PoH mad.
PoH kicked hublards / they left / whatevs.
Much subsequent complaining about unfairness, logistics, numbers and warm holes.
PoH formed small angry gangs to kill stupids.
Stupids died.
War won.
PoH hand out medals and pin then on puffed chestz.
Forum post mortem begins.

Amirite?

It's like watching the American congress argue over global warming.

This study shows its not happening

Well that guy got his dog washed by an alien so everything he says is wrong.

You see marmite is full of different groups. so when I say new type i mean me and my corp.

Me: http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/engagement_history.php

My corp: http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/engagement_history.php

These also don't show the numerous times we have forced PoH into retreat or to dock up and log off.

P.S I have nothing but respect for Zeus and his lads even after everything you see like them I love the hunt and hate hub campers.

No need, this war had more then enough Marmites Spins

Bla... highsec