Intergalactic Summit

Another one:

While on a trip to another village, the mendicant lost his favorite copy of the mystical book. Several weeks later, a goat walked up to him, carrying the book in its mouth. The mendicant couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the goat's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the goat. "Your name is written inside the cover."

Nor, usually, are they noted for their loquacity.

You're not using enough drugs. I can tell.

Why did the Ardishapur man frown at his Kador colleague ?

The Kador man asked him to "lend a hand"

A Gallentean, an Amarrian and a Caldari are exploring a jungle and are captured by a fierce tribe.

The chief tells them, "The bad news is that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die."

The Gallentean says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some poison; the Gallentean says, "Long live the Federation." and drinks it down.

The Amarrian says, "A gun for me, please." The chief gives him a gun; the Amarrian points it at his head, says, "God save the Empress!" and blows his brains out.

The Caldari says, "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The Caldari takes the fork and jabs himself all over -- the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. Blood gushes from every hole.

The chief screams, "What are you doing?"

The Caldari looks at the chief and says, "So much for your canoe, a**hole!"

What do you get if you cross Rancer with a Mammoth?

Ganked.

'Is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.'

What do you call an Amarrian with a plate in his head?
An Amarrian

What do you call people in suits celebrating a birthday on Caldari Prime?
Gallenteans

A fledgling capsuleer corporation in Syndicate owned space was stumped on what Interdictor hull to use in his fleets, so he researched the companies to learn their design philosophies. He pulled the top suggested quotes from his GalNet search.

Heretic: Keep heretics from harming the Empire with this symbol of grace and power.
Flycatcher: Assume total control with this ship and keep enemies from going where they shouldn't.
Eris: Keep the bad thoughts in, and let the good thoughts spread to every open mind in New Eden.
Sabre: We are not responsible for the sudden disintegration of this hull. Pilots of Minmatar ships should already know what they're getting in to.

Why did he choose the Heretic?
Because he is Amarrian

Q: What did Leopold Caine say when he read that genetic engineers were implanting human DNA into goats?

A: "Hell, I've been doing that for years."

Two Friars lived in the Kor-Azor system. However, the friars were behind on their POS payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.

Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across the system thought this was unfair. He asked the good Friars to close down, but they would not.

He went back and begged the Friars to close. They ignored him.

So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious pod versus pod merc in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh podded the friars and bashed their POS, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.

Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.