Out of Pod Experience

What a great fight! God has surely blessed you with his divine favor. Let us pray in humble solemnity for his everlasting guidance...and then let's lick the Nutella off our bodies.

*Musical Intermission*

Waiting for the match between the siblings Laude and Random, suddenly the spotlights swivel and focus on the lateral stage, as the lights in the room dim to draw the public's attention towards the stage. The backdrop curtain opens and two small figures appear on stage, dressed in similar white dresses with white riding boots, yellow kerchiefs laced around their necks and wearing black cowboy hats. The shorter woman is a dark redhead with a curly mane, and the slightly taller one haves golden, smooth long hair. As soon as some patrons identify the Fazmarai cousins, it's obvious that they're wearing wigs.

- And now, a little musical intermission, by the lovely duo Mawi & Corrina! Welcome them with a strong applause!

All lights shut down as a lone spotlight focus on the Fazmarais, and then the duo start singing before music follows them in...

Shocked first, amazed later, the crowd watches as the petite cousins sing and dance around the stage, perfectly synchronized in their moves and voices; and despite they don't pronounce the lyrics properly, they perform the song with such lovely accent that even battle hardened nullsec warriors feel a fuzzy warm where their heart used to be.

As their performance ends and the Fazmarai cousins bow to the public, they're welcomed with a burst of applause and the nearest patrons can see them blush in a unprofessional but adorable manner.

Seated alone in a corner, Albert Kuvai, Sansha agent, regrets not having picked a place closer to the lateral stage, but he resigns himself as he's supposed to not allow Ishtanchuk notice his presence as he watches over the crazy event staged by the fringe capsuleers populating The Greater Fool Bar...

*claps* What a delightful musical rendition! I will light a novena for your souls after I smoke this cigarette.

*clapsclapsclaps*
Fantastique!!

*clapsdiclappeldislaps*
Excelentes idolátrico!!

*films everything on cam*
This will gettin' me so rich...sweeeeet.

*Jukebox magically turns on playing this.*

The spots began their dizzying spin again as the announcer continued. “And in the other corner, hailing from the Forge, Laudenum Hayes!” The lights of the spots wormed their way down the opposing hall and stepping carefully around the broken door, Laud stepped out. Her smile beamed and she waved in the direction of the roaring crowd. She wore only a tight pair of shorts and a bikini style top. Her tightly braided red hair bound tightly to her head. She blew kisses to the crowd and as she approached the ring, she struck a game show hostess pose as if she was the prize of the contest. She turned slowly and faced Random. He still wore the stoic expression as she blew him a kiss that was loaded with malice.

At the sound of the bell, both stepped into the ring. Random maintained upright but with some effort and careful balance. Laudenum stepped in and began slathering herself in the Nutella, turning to the crowd and seductively drawing lines of the chocolaty spread across her naked midriff. Random moved forward with remarkable balance and went to grab Laudenum in a bear hug but the redhead dropped to a knee and with all the leverage she could muster with feet and hands, swept Random’s legs out from underneath him and sending him sprawling on his back in a wave of goo. Laudenum leapt on top of Random to pin him to the floor but as she perched on top of him, he simply lifted her up and tossed her sidelong off of him. The crowd roared their approval as both wrestlers climbed up from the muck on hands and knees; Random’s stone-like expression and Laudenum’s bright smile.

Random shot forward again on all fours, using hands, feet and knees to propel himself with an unexpected burst of speed but Laudenum waited until just the right moment and as he reached up for her, she slapped her hand on the top of his head, driving it down and she slithered down his back like a fleeing snake. He quickly reached back with his right arm and managed to grasp her ankle, spinning her back into the muck and began dragging her face down towards him. She spun in his grasp and when she closed the gap, she planted her free foot into his face and pushed off. While she squirted away, Random’s grasp was still firm on her ankle. He pulled her back, this time using her captured leg to interfere with her free leg. She waited until he had brought her close and with serpent quickness, flung her free leg over his head. Random’s grasp loosened and Laud released a primal scream as she broke free of his grasp entirely and encircled his neck in a leg lock. She locked her ankles behind his back and began squeezing his neck with her thighs. The crowd noise briefly became deafening at what appeared to be Laud’s victory until Random stood up. Laud clenched her abdominals and pulled her body perpendicular to Random. The strain showed on his face as he tried to peel the redhead’s thighs from around his neck and he began to growl and breath heavy. Laudenum, grimacing with the effort of holding her body upright, suddenly smiled and allowed her torso to flop backwards. Random had a mere moment instinctively gauging the distance between Laudenum’s torso length and just where her head would hit when she flopped backwards. In desperation, he grabbed at Laud and managed to succeed in pulling off her top. The back of her head slammed close enough to the vicinity of his groin where he made motions to protect his genitals, but the sudden movement cost him his footing and he slipped on to his backside.

Laudenum yowled as the pain of her legs being pinned under Random's back struck her. She flopped forward and over Random’s head but was successful in tightening the grip around Random’s neck. As the momentum passed away, she sat upright on his chest and with a mighty heave and a shout, planted her hands to either side of Random’s head and squeezed. Random howled and Laud scooped a handful of the Nutella, slapped it into his mouth and covered it with her free hand. A moment later, Random eased his body in defeat and Laudenum rolled off, both gasping for breath.

“The winner…Laudenum Hayes!!” shouted the announcer as the crowd began screaming and shouting.

Laudenum stepped out of the showers still feeling the phantom presence of the Nutella. She opened up the locker and began pulling a clean change of clothing out. When she closed the locker, she started at Yiole’s presence on the other side of the locker door.

“Whoa, you startled me!” Laudenum said, taking a step back and lowering into a fighting crouch.

“I think what you did was cruel.” Yiole said, hard eyes leveled at Laudenum. “You knew that Random would not hurt you since you are his sister. Is this how siblings fight in your family?”

Laudenum smiled. “That was a spirited little fight, yea. But not nearly as nasty as some of the ones we had as kids.” She finished pulling on her clothing and began walking out the door back into the bar proper.

“Besides,” she said, looking over her shoulder. “He let me win.”

....Not again xD

I just managed to get all that Nutella out my hair

Don't worry, our roman styled Kaltana bathroom themepark just finished it's contruction and is now open for public in the backyards of TGFB!
This should help all contestants in regaining their normal appearance after the next Nutella incidents.