EVE General Discussion

Can someone explain to me the war in Fountain?
I was gone for a while so I didn't keep track of what's happening.
Now that I'm back I have no clue what's going on lol.

lol
That was surprisingly helpful.

The good (Goonswarm) is fighting the evil (Test).

Dying for Bush Mittens' oil r64 profits!

Picture a developmentally disabled couple.

Now picture them fighting.

In fountain.

TEST are dumb and we need their stuff~

Best explanation ever.

I'm bored so here's the long version (including subheaders wooooo):

The King in the North and the War of the R64's

This conflict really started a few months ago in the old land of fire and brimestone: Delve. NCdot (northern coalition with a dot) along with Pandemic Legion and elements of the GOONSWARM FEDERATION attack TEST in their home. Now, from the perspective of the belligerents, this was mostly to instigate "goodfights" by dropping sbu's and making timers in 1-SMEB. The conflict was mostly unimportant except for one crucial thing; TEST took it ******* seriously. RED PEN CTA seriously. They threw trillions of isk worth of srp into enemy T3 fleets trying to save the system. A couple of weeks after an attempted NOL headshot and an srp nightmare, Pandemic Legion and Northern CoalitionDOT turn around and say "We're on your side buddy". OK guys.

Fast forward to the invasion of Fountain post-Odyssey. Tech is worthless and R64's are the new paradigm. Unfortunately for the king of the goon the north is anemic when it comes to R64's. So the decision is made, the battle lines are drawn, the war is declared. With a quick offensive and a Sort Dragon defection goons seize an early beachhead in the Centaur and Pegasus constellations and half a dozen gifted station systems before TEST can react. That's the last progress the CFC makes for the foreseeable future.

Enter dogpile coaltion. All of the major supercap alliances, elite pvp powerhouses and sympathetic coalitions have joined forces against the CFC in defense of TEST: Black Legion and 401k in the north, N3 and their hangers-on fresh from the eastern front, and ncdot and pandemic legion the fairweather friends.

The Northern Front or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Post-tech Era

Of particular note is Black Legion's triumphant return to Venal after their last abortive attempt at harassing the North. (The Boatman is not to be trifled with) First thing they do, kill some baby Gents supercaps and destroy a few hundred billion isk in TFI's. Last expansions answer to the ubiquitous Loki fleet was now the CFC's greatest liability. More on that later. They succeed in taking most of Venal tech (don't worry tech is worthless) while the war in Fountain rages and more importantly, they manage to grab QCAB sov and trap 100+ cfc carriers in station. The enemies of the cfc are jubilant and already herald what is surely goon capitulation as they lose timers in the south and sov in the north.

But they were all of them, deceived. In the land of Deklien, in the fires of VFK, the dark lord THEMITTANI forged in secret a master alliance. He poured into it his cruelty and malice and will to dominate all life; One ally to rule them all: Elo Knight. QCAB is freeported, the carriers let free, and the north secured.

Later, 401k attempted to take sov in H-W on their own and were crushed on the final timer. A couple of weeks later they lost a significant number of dreads and domi's to a Vee blaster mega fleet and have since withdrawn from the north to the Fountain front.

The TFI is Dead, Long Live the Mega

Meanwhile, Fountain goes poorly. All timezones see 1000+ enemies. All station systems fall but 4-EP. The TFI has proven it's ineptitude at brawling against domi's and rokh's, and Tengu's get massacred by sentry drone doctrines. It's time to go back to the drawing board. The CFC bleeds timers but the beachhead remains, and 4-EP remains. Days later the venerable Skymarshall's emerge from their smoke-filled backroom, bleary eyed and triumphant, with BALTECFLEET. Named for the legendary baltec1, who has never flown anything but a megathron no matter the fleet comp.

Remember the Lazamo, Remember Z9PP

The first test of the sleek and beautiful Megathron was Z9PP. A relatively unimportant system by most standards but the most important fight in this war to date (well maybe 9-V is more important now). TEST was attempting to online an ihub to create more timers to wade through when CFC formed up and attempted to kill it before it could online. The enemy marshaled two slowcat fleets quickly to defend the vulnerable structure, one PL fleet and one N3/TEST fleet. Vee sees two slowcat fleets with no support on field and FLIPS THE **** OUT RED PEN BROACASTS HOLY **** **** **** EVERYONE LOG INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. N3 manages to get domi's into system but they are no match for HOMMES NOIRE and his bomber brigade. As N3/PL/TEST start to lose carriers they send out their own desperate broadcasts to get battleships on field. TEST rokhs manage to create enough of a distraction for the PL slowcat fleet to warp to a friendly tower but much to their dismay the TEST/N3 carriers are surrounded by 50 dictors with 450 megathrons eating their support alive. It's not long now, the end is near. The last of the rokhs fall to megathron guns, the carrier pilots can sense their impending demi-NODE IS BEING REMAPPED. Yep, we all know that story. They even locked my thread when I called out CCP BOODABODDA. Nonetheless, the day was won. Hundreds of TEST battleships and 2 dozen carriers and dreads lay dead.

The next day there's some nonsense with TEST/N3/PL breakout fleets themselves in need of breakout so the enemy forms several rokh fleets with capitals in support and burns for Z9PP. SUDDENLY, LAZARUS TELRAVEN. He drops on the N3 Rokh fleet all by his lonesome. It's one mega fleet versus 3 rokh fleets. Our humble mega ball is absolutely engulfed in red squares, BUT WE HOLD. WE HOLD LIKE BRAVE MEN. For 30 minutes we hold. Not a single blue square in sight. We trade like lions, for every mega they kill we take two with us but still hope dims as our dps dwindles. The enemy is utterly without mercy and we begin to accept our fate. But Ho! What is that on the horizon! Brave Reagalan joins the fray! Triage carriers primary! Then Vee and Vily are on field. 500 megathrons cut down the foe utterly. And Lazarus still stands.

When a mommy capsuleer really likes a daddy capsuleer they have a Fountain War together.

i agreed at first but realized my mistake when I saw the poster was basically unsuccessful at everything. So it can't be the best explanation ever... something MUST be wrong with his post. what is it?