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The Hierophant's journey, part 1

Author
Onwards Hierophant
Doomheim
#1 - 2011-10-26 13:25:34 UTC
After a short venture with an industrial character, I decided there should be more to life than building boats. So, after a fresh start and armed with but my courage and my endless will to move forward, I embarked on a glorious quest for fame and fortune in the great wastelands of null sec. I must thank Michael Olivier, who was the first to offer his advice to a young fool.

My first enterprise was marred by countless scoundrels, the most despicable being Alizair who destroyed three priceless Velators. But through unshakeable perseverance and quite a few explosions, I attained my objective: the home system of the powerful TEST alliance. The grandeur of my adventure was lost on them however, for even after allowing me passage through their last defense, the TEST pilots accused me of being a no-good spy! Struck by the coldness of their hearts, I decided to move on. I would return the day I’d have the power to dispel these accusations of villainy.

The next step in your humble Hierophant’s journey is a dark and terrible one, for I must face and ancient and terrible threat: The ruthless Goons and their Dark Lord Mittens. I pray I will one day reach their unholy breeding grounds, and not invariably be shunned from the black heart of null sec.
Dirk Magnum
Spearhead Endeavors
#2 - 2011-10-26 13:37:22 UTC  |  Edited by: Dirk Magnum
I remember my first interaction with the Goons as a newbski. I checked the market for arkonor and saw sell orders at a million isk per unit. I derived that buy orders must be similarly lucrative, not knowing a single thing about how these things actually work in Eve at the time. So I flew out to Cloud Ring, where the Goons were stationed at the time. This was in a mining frigate, as I also didn't realize how much cargo space each unit fo arkonor would take. After mining several units of Ark I realized my error. Faced with about 60 jumps back to my home system, I said screw it, and wished that the goons would just kill and pod me. So I warped to their station, into a swarm of maybe 30 combat ships. For five whole minutes I sat there, asking in local if they'd do me in, for my own sake. But they didn't. They made me warp around the system until finally I got caught in a bubble camp on the gate. There, oh yes, they killed me.

I was too new to know about self-destruct. Cool
Bless ye Goons tbh

                      "LIVE FAST DIE." - traditional Minmatar ethos [citation needed]

Onwards Hierophant
Doomheim
#3 - 2011-10-26 15:06:25 UTC  |  Edited by: Onwards Hierophant
My trip to the Goon’s home system was underwhelming. Rather than a wretched hive of scum and villainy ten jumps around, I encountered very few pilots, and only lost one Velator, proceeding in my pod. I was kindly pointed to the right system by a confused looking man, and later cursed my simplicity at not noticing the prevalent player station ‘Mittanigrad’ in the market window. Upon my arrival, I was almost caught in an interdiction bubble, but managed to warp away and fly around the system. There I had a very strange conversation with the locals. It would seem that these Goons were quite upset that my idea of fun and excitement differed from theirs; in fact, I was repeatedly ridiculed for my interest in galaxy exploration. According to them, I was wholly ‘unoriginal’ and my escapades couldn’t possibly be of any interest to anyone. They rather told me to “go to the top belt in Amammake in a rifter until I get some kills” or to “Pvp in a Cynnabal”. Obviously these endeavors were out of the scope of my capabilities, so I kindly suggested that they stop being so upset and stuck-up, and proceeded to get myself podded. So I was back at my home station in ORE space, with a shiny new Velator, and the rest of the galaxy ahead of me.

Edit: It seems I was mislead! What I visited in VFK was actually the OLD Goon capital! I must immediately find the newest one and head there!
Onwards Hierophant
Doomheim
#4 - 2011-10-26 16:53:59 UTC
After a few dozen jumps through the fountain region and the ol’TEST friends, I managed to get into the Delve region, where I was told I would find the main body of the Goonfleet. But I was right to not get my expectations too high, as all I found there were a few systems numbering a total of roughly 50 pilots, I checked the area quickly, to make sure I hadn’t missed anything, but came to no good end as I eventually got caught in an interdiction bubble and promptly sent back home, express style. This I felt was the end of my pursuit of the Goons and their leader Mittani, I wanted to move on. My next destination was offered to me in the ‘Help Channel’ I was to go to 9UY4, to meet the followers of Chribba the Benefactor. Surely with such a designation, his lands would offer more to a budding adventurer like myself. So through highsec I went, picked up an Incursus which I could now fly, and went south-east towards the domain of Chribba.
Mr Kidd
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#5 - 2011-10-26 16:57:00 UTC
Cool story, brah!

Don't ban me, bro!

Kengutsi Akira
Doomheim
#6 - 2011-10-26 17:04:08 UTC
Dark Lord Mittens

Oh man, great title

"Is it fair that CCP can get away with..." :: checks ownership on the box ::

Yes

Kengutsi Akira
Doomheim
#7 - 2011-10-26 17:07:54 UTC
Onwards Hierophant wrote:
After a few dozen jumps through the fountain region and the ol’TEST friends, I managed to get into the Delve region, where I was told I would find the main body of the Goonfleet. But I was right to not get my expectations too high, as all I found there were a few systems numbering a total of roughly 50 pilots, I checked the area quickly, to make sure I hadn’t missed anything, but came to no good end as I eventually got caught in an interdiction bubble and promptly sent back home, express style. This I felt was the end of my pursuit of the Goons and their leader Mittani, I wanted to move on. My next destination was offered to me in the ‘Help Channel’ I was to go to 9UY4, to meet the followers of Chribba the Benefactor. Surely with such a designation, his lands would offer more to a budding adventurer like myself. So through highsec I went, picked up an Incursus which I could now fly, and went south-east towards the domain of Chribba.


If you wanna find mittens, he's in Aydoteaux. Ganking high sec Ice miners. Or thats where Ive seen him most often.

The Goons dont seem to be spending as much time in 0.0 lol theyre all in high sec

"Is it fair that CCP can get away with..." :: checks ownership on the box ::

Yes

Skunk Gracklaw
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#8 - 2011-10-26 17:07:56 UTC
lol roleplaying
Onwards Hierophant
Doomheim
#9 - 2011-10-26 17:22:24 UTC
Skunk Gracklaw wrote:
lol roleplaying


Just a bit ;)


I've reached Chribba's cottage... There's no one here. What do I do?
Kina Ayami
Very Italian People
The Initiative.
#10 - 2011-10-26 18:46:11 UTC
Confirming i killed his velator in Outer Ring, i'm pro.

Good luck with the exploration ;)