These forums have been archived and are now read-only.

The new forums are live and can be found at https://forums.eveonline.com/

Crime & Punishment

 
58 Pages123Next pageLast page
 

The Pirate Story Thread

First post First post
Author
C C P Alliance
#1 - 2011-09-06 06:01:54 UTC  |  Edited by: CCP Zymurgist
Now with 100% more allowed Chat logs!

This thread is the only place where players can post chatlogs (with the names of victims/counterparts blanked out) as part of a pirate story or experience.

I look forward to many good Yarrs!

CCP Spitfire | Marketing & Sales Team @ccp_spitfire

Executive Outcomes
#2 - 2011-09-06 11:52:18 UTC  |  Edited by: Cable Udan
I'll bite, though the tears extracted aren't as good as those others have had.

Friend of mine scanned down a missioning Raven Navy Issue in a lowsec system we both frequent. As I was in a Jag and he in a Rifter he got some help from a guy he knew who brought a Cane. We all warp onto the bookmark and the R.N.I. is sat at zero so he gets pointed and we all start dee-pee-essing him down. When he gets to structure my mate calls for cease fire over comms so we can ransom him. He gets invited to our ransom channel and the following occurs:

[ 2011.09.03 20:36:54 ] Wingman > 500mil to keep the ship
[ 2011.09.03 20:37:04 ] Cable Udan > Hello *Victim* :)
[ 2011.09.03 20:37:11 ] Victim > Hello.
[ 2011.09.03 20:37:20 ] Victim > I don't have it. Please...spare me.
[ 2011.09.03 20:37:29 ] Cable Udan > How much do you have?
[ 2011.09.03 20:38:17 ] Victim > 19,785,341.27
[ 2011.09.03 20:38:24 ] Wingman > lol;
[ 2011.09.03 20:38:28 ] Victim > in other words...I am broke.
[ 2011.09.03 20:38:28 ] Wingman > sorry
[ 2011.09.03 20:38:32 ] Cable Udan > Don't fly what you can't afford to lose.
[ 2011.09.03 20:38:33 ] Cable Udan > 300mil minimum
[ 2011.09.03 20:38:35 ] Victim > please don't do this..
[ 2011.09.03 20:38:44 ] Wingman> cya
[ 2011.09.03 20:39:10 ] Victim > wow...
[ 2011.09.03 20:39:15 ] Victim > thanks..
[ 2011.09.03 20:39:27 ] Wingman > sure you only got 19mil?
[ 2011.09.03 20:39:32 ] Victim > I just wanted to run missions
[ 2011.09.03 20:39:51 ] Victim > That's all. Just missions.
[ 2011.09.03 20:40:00 ] Wingman > 19mil to keep the implants then
[ 2011.09.03 20:40:05 ] Wingman > since you have that
[ 2011.09.03 20:40:11 ] Victim > have no implants.
[ 2011.09.03 20:40:24 ] Victim > you take all the fun out of this game.
[ 2011.09.03 20:40:39 ] Victim > You really suck.
[ 2011.09.03 20:40:49 ] Wingman > 2nd tutorial
[ 2011.09.03 20:40:50 ] Cable Udan > I'll say again, don't fly what you can't afford to lose.
[ 2011.09.03 20:40:52 ] Wingman > don't fly what you can't afford
[ 2011.09.03 20:40:57 ] Wingman > especially in lowsec
[ 2011.09.03 20:40:57 ] Wingman > also
[ 2011.09.03 20:41:00 ] Victim > This game isn't fun at all with guys like you in it.
[ 2011.09.03 20:41:01 ] Wingman > YARRRRRR
[ 2011.09.03 20:41:04 ] Cable Udan > :D

I think we ruined his day to be honest though I couldn't grasp why someone was flying a half a bil ship around lowsec and only had 19mil in his wallet. After he said he didn't have 500mil we decided to go for 300mil so we each got 100m but he was still adamant he only had that. When his ship popped we scrammed his pod but he still didn't want to pay up so he lost that too.
Amarr Empire
#3 - 2011-09-06 13:20:48 UTC  |  Edited by: Cannibal Kane
This was just your average can flipping.

What made this special is the total over reaction of this guy.

I was on my way back to my home station and as i normally do I run a quick directional through the belts to see what is there.

I see a Covetor and a can so i warp to belt flip an and he promptly leaves. Only to come back with a badger and then
promptly loose his badger. At this point most people dock up for the rest of the 15 minutes so i pop the can and wreck
to get back on route.

I had to do a double take since this guy warps back into the same belt with his Covetor and start mining again.
Needless to say, he lost that ship as well.

Then he convos me...

*Sorry if the cuss filter does not work. It might have crashed due to all the **** it had to add.



[20:16:27] Victim; ur a ****ing ******
[20:16:43] Cannibal Kane ; i gave you a choice
[20:16:52] Cannibal Kane ; you took the wrong one
[20:16:59] Victim; no u didnt u *****
[20:17:09] Victim; ur a studipid little kid
[20:17:33] Cannibal Kane ; *stupid
[20:17:43] Victim; i dont have ****ing isk cuz im not a ****ing *** that lives off this game like its my real life
[20:18:12] Cannibal Kane ; good one... yet your the one crying about a loss
[20:18:36] Victim; u stupid dumb ****ing *** i wish i knew what u looked like i dont give a **** if i go to jail i wanna cripple u u ****ing stupid little kid
[20:18:50] Victim; **** u
[20:19:04] Cannibal Kane ; wow.... internet space ships are serious busniess huh?
[20:19:06] Victim; go **** ur mother u ***** faggoot
[20:19:43] Cannibal Kane ; would you like a carebear hug?
[20:19:54] Victim; i hope ur mother gets rapped and killed
[20:20:07] Victim; go **** ur mother
[20:20:29] Cannibal Kane ; you said that one already.. dig a bit deaper in your repretuar of insults
[20:21:08] Victim; and go jump off a bridge i hope u get beat up and wen u do remember me id ****ing kill u u ****ing ****** id **** ur mom infront of you
[20:21:23] Victim; go **** ur mother
[20:21:24] Cannibal Kane ; a little more....
[20:21:32] Cannibal Kane ; then breath deep and breath out
[20:21:33] Victim; go **** your mother
[20:21:57] Cannibal Kane ; if you hurry you can get a nother ship to loose?
[20:22:39] Victim; lol ur a stupid kid i ****ing cant belive the **** ull go though while growing up . ull get hit soo ****ing hard u wont remember your name or ull be made fun of
[20:23:16] Cannibal Kane ; yep... you hit the spot right there... but you don;t see my crying over internet space ships....
[20:23:29] Cannibal Kane ; you sure your not talking to yourself in the mirror right now?
[20:23:39] Cannibal Kane ; and accidently typing it in here
[20:23:45] Victim; go get me 20 mil
[20:24:06] Victim; i want 20 mill
[20:24:13] Cannibal Kane ; i;ll drop it in my can right here.. go get a ship quicly to pick it up
[20:25:31] Victim; you think this is funny? youu shouldnt **** with people youu dont know. i suggest you get me 20 mill and we call it even.
[20:26:02] Cannibal Kane ; how about you give me 20 mil... for my trouble and for wasting my ammo on you
[20:26:29] Victim; do you live in america or canada
[20:26:38] Cannibal Kane ; canada
[20:26:48] Victim; where in canada
[20:27:07] Victim; ??
[20:27:18] Cannibal Kane ; toronto
[20:27:36] Victim; yeah right
[20:27:51] Victim; hey r u busy today?

At this point his tone changes, I don't really live in Canada, but google is awesome when you want to find out about places.

[20:28:01] Cannibal Kane ; not really
[20:28:09] Cannibal Kane ; just shooting at idiots
[20:28:59] Victim; wanna meet me at the timmies on jane n finch at around 8 pm
[20:29:41] Cannibal Kane ; im on the other side of north york
[20:29:58] Cannibal Kane ; but sure
[20:32:24] Victim; dude dont even bother, stick to ur video games man i feel bad ****ing up a kid cuz of a game, but i just want you to know u relly pissed me off still. and dont go to that area cuz if i c a little white kid ill punch u
[20:32:52] Cannibal Kane ; you a strong manly man.... give me my 20mil
[20:33:02] Victim; lol
[20:33:18] Victim; nice battle little kid next time ill put up a fight

At the end he seems less tense about his loss.

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk

#4 - 2011-09-06 16:42:52 UTC
EVE can be so cathartic!

Cardinal Graelyn

Amarr Loyalist of the Year - YC113

Amarr Empire
#5 - 2011-09-06 18:48:45 UTC
http://i.imgur.com/qq26N.jpg
is this pirate enough for you?

Like my comment and recieve 1 million isk ingame!

Caldari State
#6 - 2011-09-06 20:38:01 UTC
ah space tears...fill me with joy

Two tears in a bucket...

Caldari State
#7 - 2011-09-07 01:04:17 UTC
I'm new to ninja salvaging but if I keep getting hits like this I'm sure I'll be at it for awhile.

I pinpointed a Raven running a mission. Sure, I'll take on a raven. As I warp to the spot I also pick up a rupture on D-scan. Hey, two for the price of one, why not. I landed in their room about 30k from the raven and 10k from the rupture. There were about 5 npc BS's pounding on the raven already. I approach nearest wreck and start looting. Almost immediately the rupture fires at me. I didn't really care about the rupture, I wanted that raven so I change my path to approach the raven. Sure enough, he fires about 30 sec later. Point, web and drones go on rupture. He melts in seconds. All attention goes to raven. I barely had time to even type a ransom, let alone time for him to pay. Down goes both ships. Tears immediately follow.

Raven > you're a cocks****r Eon, you know that?
Eon Raptor > you attacked me first
Eon Raptor > I was just collecting space trash
Raven > flippinh my wrecks and cans makes you a cocks****r
Eon Raptor > that was my salvaging mission. I was giving the BM by my agent
Raven > popping my BS makes you a **********
Raven > what? bullshit
Eon Raptor > I thought it was odd too.
Raven > yeah, odd my ass
Eon Raptor > its not my fault CCP added new mission types
Raven > mate stop talking ****
Eon Raptor > but I was surprised when I started getting shot at
Raven > I don't knw how you scanned down my mission,
Raven > but you did
Eon Raptor > I told you already, my agent gave me that book mark
Raven > thought that was not possible anymore
Raven > ok I'll play - what agent?
Eon Raptor > *random agent from station i'm at*
Eon Raptor > she said there were wrecks spread around a room that needed to be redistributed
Raven > you are hilarious
Eon Raptor > hey, I don't write the missions. I just run them
Raven > dude, you asked for a ransom, sorry for not believiing your crap
Eon Raptor > That's cause you fired on me, causing me to fail my mission
Raven > you're getting boring, just **** off
Pilot in local > NOW NOW CHILDREN PLAY NICLY :)
Eon Raptor > ahhhh, mommy. But she hit me first.
Pilot in local > lols
Rupture > just checked you're corp, Ninja hits one of your specialities...
Eon Raptor > WHAT!!!! They didn't tell me that. Those liers. They said they are a missioning corp.
Raven > lol, you really are a funny man
Eon Raptor > fyi, you're not gettign much benefit out of that second shield boost amp. Also, drop the armor rep for another BCU and upgrade to an x-large booster
Eon Raptor > if you're worried about permi running your tank, you'll need CC rigs
Rupture > ha, it was fine for running missions, wasn't expecting PvP
Eon Raptor > dont do an omni fit for missions, change your hardeners for rat specific.
Eon Raptor > "fine" which is why you had a friend
Eon Raptor > who...btw....should be rigging his rupture if he's using t2 everythign else
Eon Raptor > and how you gonna get into AC range with a web and scram if you dont have a wmd?
Raven > worked on you
Eon Raptor > really
Eon Raptor > thats why you both lost ships
Eon Raptor > and I lost.....oh....nothing
Eon Raptor > how'd that work again?
Raven > you tell me
Eon Raptor > [17:47:34] Eon Raptor > thats why you both lost ships
Eon Raptor > ^told you
Raven > like I say, wasn't expecting PvP
Eon Raptor > your rupture buddy must have. you dont fit a scram on a PvE fit
Eon Raptor > so maybe he should have told you he was expectivng PvP you should be too
Eon Raptor > ok, forget being pissed for a sec. take the tips I gave you seriously, they will actually help you make more
Eon Raptor > you'll make that 120 back in a few missions
Raven > not with you around
Eon Raptor > *sigh*
Eon Raptor > i'll make it easier
Eon Raptor > 1) don't shoot at ninjas
Eon Raptor > 2) if you do shoot at ninjas, prepare to lose ship
Raven > Don't worry I'll be ready next time
Another pilot in local > 3) Have pvp ship ready .. dock up and get into pvp ship .. return to mission and shoot ninja
Eon Raptor > 4) hope ninja didn't already plan for that
Another pilot in local > 5) have corp mates ready to give ninja a bad day
Eon Raptor > sure, that'd be fun
Raven > you're running out of single digits, does this go on much longer?
Raven > don't believe it you were still sitting in the mission area? waiting? what is your problem?
Eon Raptor > I still had my mission to complete
Raven > who for, don't give me the agent crap agan?
Eon Raptor > listen, if you can't trust a P I R A T E who can you trust
Raven > deep
#8 - 2011-09-07 05:38:54 UTC
Simply posting to say nice posts everyone and to subscribe to this since it is the only way.

Disclaimer: I do not actually play this game, I just forum warrior.

#9 - 2011-09-07 11:27:47 UTC
Happened a lil while ago :)
Maxx is my alt BTW

[ 2008.07.28 15:04:05 ] Victim > please
[ 2008.07.28 15:04:12 ] Victim > dont kil me
[ 2008.07.28 15:04:13 ] Maxx Avenkarde > Yarr lower weapons and prepare to be boarded
[ 2008.07.28 15:04:29 ] Maxx Avenkarde > we demand rum and booty
[ 2008.07.28 15:05:36 ] Maxx Avenkarde > whats it worth to you not to die??
[ 2008.07.28 15:05:59 ] Victim > exusme?
[ 2008.07.28 15:06:12 ] Maxx Avenkarde > whats it worth to you not to die...
[ 2008.07.28 15:06:17 ] Maxx Avenkarde > simple question
[ 2008.07.28 15:06:37 ] Victim > yeah, it maybe siple
[ 2008.07.28 15:07:02 ] Victim > wait a second, i must translate it to my language
[ 2008.07.28 15:07:11 ] Maxx Avenkarde > ransom
[ 2008.07.28 15:07:14 ] Maxx Avenkarde > we want isk
[ 2008.07.28 15:08:01 ] Victim > im afrade im empty ^(
[ 2008.07.28 15:08:16 ] Maxx Avenkarde > your broke??
[ 2008.07.28 15:08:22 ] Maxx Avenkarde > ok well fill this can then
[ 2008.07.28 15:08:29 ] Maxx Avenkarde > we'll take that
[ 2008.07.28 15:08:56 ] Victim> u take what&
[ 2008.07.28 15:09:03 ] Maxx Avenkarde > your jaspet
[ 2008.07.28 15:09:07 ] Victim > oh
[ 2008.07.28 15:09:09 ] Victim > ok
[ 2008.07.28 15:13:48 ] Maxx Avenkarde > keep mining
[ 2008.07.28 15:14:28 ] Maxx Avenkarde > only jaspet
[ 2008.07.28 15:14:36 ] Maxx Avenkarde > i see veldsper you see lead
[ 2008.07.28 15:14:46 ] Victim > no'
[ 2008.07.28 15:14:54 ] Victim > its jaspet
[ 2008.07.28 15:15:01 ] Victim > u need veldspar&
[ 2008.07.28 15:15:12 ] Maxx Avenkarde > no we want jaspet
[ 2008.07.28 15:15:40 ] Victim > i mine jaspet

Didn't make much, made him fill one can, but as he was only a few days old at the time I didn't think I would make much isk from a ransom.

And a sudden plunge in the sullen swell. Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell.

Cynosural Field Theory.
#10 - 2011-09-07 12:56:02 UTC
Need more Tears. Work is Boring... xD

http://img152.imageshack.us/img152/7501/mindgamesceptionfinaldr.jpg

Amarr Empire
#11 - 2011-09-07 19:18:37 UTC
Was in Hek today, just minding my own business, killing rats in the belts, hoping to find a can to flip, when:

Im just finishing off the last rat in the belt, and a Probe warps in, with aggression.

I lock, scram/web, sick my drones on him, and neut his cap into oblivion. His ship promptly melted.

Turns out he had looted one of the wrecks from another belt that I had visited.

Hu-Rah!
Minmatar Republic
#12 - 2011-09-08 23:01:29 UTC
\o/ enjoying the tears so far!

I'm back!

#13 - 2011-09-09 09:28:37 UTC  |  Edited by: Erus Xiphias
Tallianna Avenkarde wrote:
Happened a lil while ago :)

...

[ 2008.07.28 15:14:28 ] Maxx Avenkarde > only jaspet
[ 2008.07.28 15:14:36 ] Maxx Avenkarde > i see veldsper you see lead
[ 2008.07.28 15:14:46 ] Victim > no'
[ 2008.07.28 15:14:54 ] Victim > its jaspet
[ 2008.07.28 15:15:01 ] Victim > u need veldspar&
[ 2008.07.28 15:15:12 ] Maxx Avenkarde > no we want jaspet
[ 2008.07.28 15:15:40 ] Victim > i mine jaspet

Didn't make much, made him fill one can, but as he was only a few days old at the time I didn't think I would make much isk from a ransom.


Funnest chat log ever!
#14 - 2011-09-09 11:56:27 UTC
Quote:
Eon Raptor > that was my salvaging mission. I was giving the BM by my agent
Eon Raptor > I thought it was odd too.
Eon Raptor > its not my fault CCP added new mission types
Eon Raptor > she said there were wrecks spread around a room that needed to be redistributed


I take my hat off to you sir. Please accept one internet spaceship forum 'like'

Jint Hikaru - Miner / Salvager / Explorer / SpaceBum In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Amarr Empire
#15 - 2011-09-09 17:38:03 UTC
So there i was , new guy asked how to play EVE like a pro, i told him there was HP in the secure container.

Like my comment and recieve 1 million isk ingame!

Minmatar Republic
#16 - 2011-09-09 19:54:23 UTC
This one for the bears who think our lives are only fun and games.


Piracy is not only glamour and tears, it's also a hard job.
It's a grind too! This time a two months old toon:




(victim comes back for 'his' ore with an indy and loots the flipped can; I catch him doing it, scram him and a fire up the convo)
[ 2011.03.27 16:31:33 ] Miregar Shakor > hello there
[ 2011.03.27 16:31:41 ] victim > hi
[ 2011.03.27 16:31:54 ] Miregar Shakor > i am very sorry you get to be a victim of a crime
[ 2011.03.27 16:32:09 ] Miregar Shakor > but let's get to business, shall we?
[ 2011.03.27 16:32:24 ] victim > rusish
[ 2011.03.27 16:32:41 ] Miregar Shakor > sorry, i do not speak good russian
(open fire)
[ 2011.03.27 16:32:52 ] victim > ты
[ 2011.03.27 16:33:02 ] victim > че делаеш ?
[ 2011.03.27 16:33:49 ] victim > ???
(half armor)
[ 2011.03.27 16:33:51 ] Miregar Shakor > I wil let you go for 1.000.000 isk
[ 2011.03.27 16:34:00 ] Miregar Shakor > you have 30 seconds to pay
[ 2011.03.27 16:34:16 ] victim > ok
(cease fire)
[ 2011.03.27 16:34:18 ] Miregar Shakor > 20 seconds
(wallet flashes)
[ 2011.03.27 16:34:45 ] Miregar Shakor > thank you
[ 2011.03.27 16:35:08 ] Miregar Shakor > In the future, please be carefull with the can's you empty
[ 2011.03.27 16:35:16 ] Miregar Shakor > dasvidanyia
[ 2011.03.27 16:35:17 ] victim > ok ???
[ 2011.03.27 16:35:25 ] victim > bay



Just another day at the office...
Amarr Empire
#17 - 2011-09-09 20:07:51 UTC
Miregar Shakor wrote:
This one for the bears who think our lives are only fun and games.


Piracy is not only glamour and tears, it's also a hard job.
It's a grind too! This time a two months old toon:




(victim comes back for 'his' ore with an indy and loots the flipped can; I catch him doing it, scram him and a fire up the convo)
[ 2011.03.27 16:31:33 ] Miregar Shakor > hello there
[ 2011.03.27 16:31:41 ] victim > hi
[ 2011.03.27 16:31:54 ] Miregar Shakor > i am very sorry you get to be a victim of a crime
[ 2011.03.27 16:32:09 ] Miregar Shakor > but let's get to business, shall we?
[ 2011.03.27 16:32:24 ] victim > rusish
[ 2011.03.27 16:32:41 ] Miregar Shakor > sorry, i do not speak good russian
(open fire)
[ 2011.03.27 16:32:52 ] victim > ты
[ 2011.03.27 16:33:02 ] victim > че делаеш ?
[ 2011.03.27 16:33:49 ] victim > ???
(half armor)
[ 2011.03.27 16:33:51 ] Miregar Shakor > I wil let you go for 1.000.000 isk
[ 2011.03.27 16:34:00 ] Miregar Shakor > you have 30 seconds to pay
[ 2011.03.27 16:34:16 ] victim > ok
(cease fire)
[ 2011.03.27 16:34:18 ] Miregar Shakor > 20 seconds
(wallet flashes)
[ 2011.03.27 16:34:45 ] Miregar Shakor > thank you
[ 2011.03.27 16:35:08 ] Miregar Shakor > In the future, please be carefull with the can's you empty
[ 2011.03.27 16:35:16 ] Miregar Shakor > dasvidanyia
[ 2011.03.27 16:35:17 ] victim > ok ???
[ 2011.03.27 16:35:25 ] victim > bay



Just another day at the office...


A real pirate always Honors ransoms, your certainly a better person than i am.

Good thing I'm not a pirate though.

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk

Yahj Boma
#18 - 2011-09-11 00:28:43 UTC
Victim > i mine jaspet

Best quote ever.
Shadow Cartel
#19 - 2011-09-12 14:22:56 UTC
Tallianna Avenkarde wrote:

[ 2008.07.28 15:15:01 ] Victim > u need veldspar&
[ 2008.07.28 15:15:12 ] Maxx Avenkarde > no we want jaspet
[ 2008.07.28 15:15:40 ] Victim > i mine jaspet

Didn't make much, made him fill one can, but as he was only a few days old at the time I didn't think I would make much isk from a ransom.


BEST. RANSOM. EVER. Lol
#20 - 2011-09-13 12:58:43 UTC
So i was AFK jetcan mining in a BattleHulk hoping a greedy little canflipper would try me on for size. I had innocent looking mining drones doing the work for me so it looked like i was totally bearing it up, by not having combat drones.
I mined about 10 minutes dumping ore in a can sitting next to me when a Rifter flies in and goes red.
I target/insta warp/scramble and follow.
I pull in mining drones and release Hobgoblin 2's

The following ensues.

[ 2011.08.05 17:21:02] BuzzyBeagle > hello there
[ 2011.08.05 17:21:12] victim > WTF?
[ 2011.08.05 17:21:18] BuzzyBeagle > you have commited a crime.
[ 2011.08.05 17:21:24] victim > what kind of noob miner has a point and web on a HULK?
[ 2011.08.05 17:21:33] BuzzyBeagle > the kind that does not use a hulk for mining.
(i proceed to kill the rifter that is chipping away at my shield)
[ 2011.08.05 17:22:09] BuzzyBeagle > i hate bears as much as the next guy, but i hate people that are unprepared for unexpected circumstances worse.
[ 2011.08.05 17:22:24] victim > LOL U NOOB KILLING A FRIG WITH A HULK IS NOT FAIR!!!
[ 2011.08.05 17:22:35] BuzzyBeagle > have you not been enlightened in rule one of Eve?
[ 2011.08.05 17:22:50] victim > yeah yeah.. 'trust no-one' well i trusted your mother you #@$$$#
[ 2011.08.05 17:23:03] BuzzyBeagle > that is unfortunate that you trusted her. i hope you enjoy the Herpes that will afflict you for the rest of your pathetic existance.
[ 2011.08.05 17:23:19] victim > @#$% you , you @#$(* @%%hole
[ 2011.08.05 17:24:02] BuzzyBeagle > umadbro?
[ 2011.08.05 17:24:19] victim > if i ever see you im going to #$%^&*% kil lyou
[ 2011.08.05 17:25:50] BuzzyBeagle > i guess i lied. My Hulk is awesome at mining...TEARS.
58 Pages123Next pageLast page
Forum Jump