Jita Park Speakers Corner

"i do not find the goons interesting, just tiresome" - person who is constantly posting about goons

I, too, pass the time engrossed in things about which I claim not to care. This is why you will find that I am the single most prolific poster on the forums dot EVE Online, you see, because I don't care about EVE Online. How much don't I care about it, you ask? A little bit over ten thousand likes worth, that's how much. And nothing you say or do will make me care about it, no sir! PS I am a super rich guy in real life and my supermodel girlfriend(s) all think you're pathetic.

I'm not the one using the deaths of 50 million people to create a false argument about internet spaceship politics. Only a child or someone completely lacking empathy would do that. Not only that, but your character is named after one of the principle architects (Iosef Stalin) of both the major genocides in WW2 as well as before WW2 in the Ukraine.

Which is more mature? Using a tragedy as a tool for an online argument or actually being able to consider such a serious topic inappropriate for this forum. In your hatred of us, you've become much worse than we are.

Y h'lo thar pubbies!

I'm a Goon, and since Issler is a girl on the internet and I'm supposed to be some sort of megacreeper (ps Issler I am a millionaire irl and single) I thought it would be my duty to answer her obviously not-loaded question.

First let's setup a little backstory, so you all know where I'm coming from here.

I'm 25. This is me. (ED appears to be down atm) A timeless article about the past 10 of the 23 years of my time spent on this here internet. As you can tell, I am a persistent and utterly terrible troll. Sadly yes, I did help found a *chan, something I regret to this day and will likely regret for the rest of my life. We all make mistakes, this is to show you I'm human and capable of being just as stupid as anyone else if I want to be.

These days I live on a farm in rural Ontario alone, my parents visit on most weekends and my best friend is an Amish guy named Joseph. After having spent a few years working as a computer engineer doing physical design of digital and analog ICs at a startup that got bought out by a big firm, I got bored and quit. Thus making me rich and enabling me to do hilariously stupid things with my now boatloads of freetime.

I've been playing EVE off and on since Beta, having jumped over from Earth and Beyond after pubbies complained loud enough to ruin the game whilst it was still in it's own beta. My main, Triskian, has been around since September of 2005, and was once a member of Hirr and also a now-dead corp known as The Recon Squad. I didn't even know there was a Goon presence in the game as I'd been just lurking SA for a year and had only just joined SA about a month before making this character. I was outed from both for being a Goon without really understanding why. After quitting EVE for about a year of posting far too much in The Crackhead Clubhouse subforum I saw a recruitment ad on SA for Goonfleet and figured I'd give EVE another shot since this time I'd be flying with people I knew who wouldn't instantly hate me for being a member of an internet forum that has nothing to do with EVE. This didn't last long and I quit during the early days of the first Great War. I've been back for just under 2 years now after reading about the comedy that Karttoon caused and longing for the days of playing an MMO that doesn't cause mind-numbing levels of personal boredom and rage. It's really the only game that can hold my interest for a prolonged period of time.

I am not very good at pvp. I find going on ops that last for hours to be either inconvenient or just outright boring, go on an op with DBRB as FC and you'll realize quickly why everyone hates him. Shooting rats doesn't excite me. Running missions is pretty boring. What lured me into this game originally was Mining and Production, both of which I'm still fairly terrible at but at least they provided some form of entertainment, I could stare at a rock for hours while shooting it back during my early days playing EVE and would love to do so again. My null-sec capship production business is basically at a stand-still as a result of it being a bottomless pit you shovel isk into and anyone in lowsec can easily outcompete me in my chosen profession.

Now that that is out of the way, let me explain why I voted for The Mittani instead of say, someone like you, Issler, or one of the other production/mining-minded candidates.

I've watched several games go downhill fast and end in utter ruin, to be forever ridiculed and hated by everyone who ever played it. Always have they been ruined by people who thought only of themselves and the agenda of people just like them. Always have them been ruined by people who just couldn't see the big picture and wanted something like faster levelling, more ingame currency from the same old repetative task, overpowered uberloot, free jedis for everyone, or things like that. We've all seen games that have gone from either mediocre with a lot of promise, or great with a lot of promise, to utterly terrible to the point nobody pays anymore and the game dies an ignoble death.

A CSM not lead by someone of a similar mind to The Mittani is what lead to all of this game's problems in the first place. No one else has shown they have the balls, or really even the intelligence and capacity to lead this game in the direction it needs to go. A CSM filled with people like you would just continue to make nullsec production/mining harder and less profitable than it already is because you don't understand how bad the situation out in the wild west of space really is. People like you want to make mining and production better for people in hisec and lowsec, and my contention is that things as they are there are fine (or will be after the drone nerf). People like you would just continue to ignore the problems nullsec faces at best, and at worse, actively seek to make nullsec even worse than it already is. The Mittani wants to fix things all over the galaxy, he understands the problems people face everywhere, not just in their walled garden that they never leave.

Until the hilarious day that Mittens goes **** goons and scampers off with all of our stuff, in the traditional fashion of a Goonswarm CEO and quits the game, I will continue to vote for him every time he runs. And hey, even if he doesn't quit after going **** goons, I'd still vote for him, because he gives a **** about this game and everyone in it be they goon or pubbie.

Of course, I'm just a goon, I made the mistake of giving someone $10 to make terrible posts on their web forum and will be forever stigmatized as a result. Feel free to completely discount my post based on that.

The cross-bar on your house door...much rural crime, or to keep the other Goons out?

This post is meant to be light hearted by the way.

I wish I was half as unintentionally funny as that guy.

You're pretty stupid fyi.

Well, to address this comment which is obviously aimed at Hans (or at least partially), you realize the grand majority of the stuff in his platform is from the community itself?

Oh yes. Probably the most politically savvy player in the entire game getting elected by a clear margin is bad for the future of the game.

Dear Lord honey you and I need to have a talk

We post because most of the ideas that The Mittani has jive with our own.

As for gaining 'traction'? We do it partly to drum up votes, partly to generate comedy in the form of awful posts and threads from pubbies. #2 is far more successful than #1.


D Derp
Rifter Pilot
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