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Crime & Punishment

 
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A tale of a Few Goons
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Tirestun
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#1 - 2012-02-02 19:52:27 UTC  |  Edited by: Tirestun
Some time ago, I found myself in a bit of trouble. Tailed by 3 or four Pirates of questionable origins, I was hopping through
nullsec faster than I could have thought possible. Bear in mind, I was in a shuttle. No weapons, no shields worth a ****, and nothing at all that was really of any value in a fight stood between me and these blasters that were following me.

And then I entered Goon territory. I thought I was a goner at this point, but these guys were hot on my tail and I wasn't
going to let them pod me. 2 jumps, 3, 5, and finally, at 8 jumps into goon territory, they backed off.

Then I looked at local, and I saw why. Quickly, I made a jump to a planet, about 150km out. 'Friendly' waves greeted me in local, but I knew better. These were goons. By now, I was sure they had both gates leading to safety and freedom thoroughly camped (which, really, wouldn't be a difficult thing to do).

And so I decided to try the impossible:
I asked them for a ship, and some ISK to get me on my way.

They agreed, gave me a Drake, 500mil, and sent me on my merry way.

These kind actions by the best pilots I never knew, from the people you'd least expect, should be taken as not a warning, but an invitation. The Goons are pilots of the highest calibre, moral fiber, and some of the most honorable, best-intentioned men and women that I have ever had the pleasure to run into.

So I don't see why everyone seems to hate them.
FeralShadow
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#2 - 2012-02-02 19:57:23 UTC
lol

One of the bitter points of a good bittervet is the realisation that all those SP don't really do much, and that the newbie is having much more fun with what little he has. - Tippia
Avid Bumhumper
Beekeepers Anonymous
#3 - 2012-02-02 20:20:22 UTC
Tirestun wrote:
Some time ago, I found myself in a bit of trouble. Tailed by 3 or four Pirates of questionable origins, I was hopping through
nullsec faster than I could have thought possible. Bear in mind, I was in a shuttle. No weapons, no shields worth a ****, and nothing at all that was really of any value in a fight stood between me and these blasters that were following me.

And then I entered Goon territory. I thought I was a goner at this point, but these guys were hot on my tail and I wasn't
going to let them pod me. 2 jumps, 3, 5, and finally, at 8 jumps into goon territory, they backed off.

Then I looked at local, and I saw why. Quickly, I made a jump to a planet, about 150km out. 'Friendly' waves greeted me in local, but I knew better. These were goons. By now, I was sure they had both gates leading to safety and freedom thoroughly camped (which, really, wouldn't be a difficult thing to do).

And so I decided to try the impossible:
I asked them for a ship, and some ISK to get me on my way.

They agreed, gave me a Drake, 500mil, and sent me on my merry way.

These kind actions by the best pilots I never knew, from the people you'd least expect, should be taken as not a warning, but an invitation. The Goons are pilots of the highest calibre, moral fiber, and some of the most honorable, best-intentioned men and women that I have ever had the pleasure to run into.

So I don't see why everyone seems to hate them.


A Drake? And you still like them?

My Tinfoil hat has been sugically implanted, so no,it is not for sale.....
Kaaii
Kaaii-Net Research Labs
#4 - 2012-02-02 20:33:38 UTC


Goon alts write the best pro-goon stories c/d?








(look how dumb you are)
Kris White
Doomheim
#5 - 2012-02-02 21:06:37 UTC
OMW to pickup free drake.
pie dude
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#6 - 2012-02-02 21:25:11 UTC
Greetings people of the interwebs, I am here to inform many of you that this story posted by the honorable Tirestun is indeed a real story. Tirestun is obviously not the true recipient of said isk and drake, but I can assure you that he is the actor to a story that is based on a story from the true world of the interwebs. I can confirm that the goonswarm federation and her allies are honorable space people with honorable space goals, and I for one am ashamed that you people would have the nerve to belittle honorable people that you do not even know.
GreasyCarl Semah
A Game as Old as Empire
#7 - 2012-02-02 22:01:04 UTC
And my name is Jesus Christ
Zag'mar Jurkar
Les chevaliers de l'ordre
Goonswarm Federation
#8 - 2012-02-02 23:31:42 UTC
The doctor said I wouldnt have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger outta there
Dirk Magnum
Spearhead Endeavors
#9 - 2012-02-03 00:35:28 UTC
I thought Jar Jar Binks was an okay character.

                      "LIVE FAST DIE." - traditional Minmatar ethos [citation needed]
Lady Ayeipsia
BlueWaffe
#10 - 2012-02-03 00:46:30 UTC
Elvis is alive. He pilots one of our jump titans.
Aggressive Nutmeg
#11 - 2012-02-03 02:22:16 UTC
Do goon pilots have rainbow engine trails like the old legends say?

Never make eye contact with someone while eating a banana.
Drake Draconis
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#12 - 2012-02-03 03:18:47 UTC
Honestly its not surprising.

After joining FCON I didn't expect to bludner into the goonie chats and forums and various things.

they are rather surprisingly fun and quite nice....provided you dont **** them off however.

They just like to employ game mechanics to the fullest....yelling at a goon is no different then yelling at someone who can flipped you.

If anything...its hypocritical to stereotypicaly assume a goon is going to scam you when any one and their mother in this game would do the same thing with the right incentives.

================ STOP THE EVEMAIL SPAM! https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=78152
Mai Khumm
172.0.0.1
#13 - 2012-02-03 05:26:49 UTC
Tirestun wrote:
Some time ago, I found myself in a bit of trouble. Tailed by 1 or 2 wannabe Pirates, I was hopping through
nullsec faster than I could have thought possible. Bear in mind, I was in a Bible Blaster 5000. Full weapons, Full shields, and nothing was really stopping me from killing these fucktards, in their pulse lazor fitted kestrels that were following me.

And then I entered Goon territory. I thought I was safe at this point, but these guys were hot on my tail and I wasn't
going to let them burn my hull. 2 jumps, 3, 5, and finally, at 8 jumps into home *cough* goon *cough* territory, they backed off.

Then I looked at local, and I was home system. I docked into a station. 'Friendly' waves greeted me in local. These were corpies *cough* goons *cough*. By now, I was sure they had both gates leading to safety and freedom thoroughly camped (which prevented my attackers from fleeing).

And so I decided to try the possible:
I asked my pursuers for an good old 1 v. 1.

They agreed, and we ganked them at Planet 1, (Silly noobs trusting a goon) after our titans ganked them we ransoned them for 500mil, they payed up, and we killed them anyways.

These kind actions are by the best pilots I never know, from the people you'd always expect. This should be taken as the norm with goons. Us Goons are pilots of the highest calibre, moral fiber, and some of the most honorable, best-intentioned men and women that I have ever had the pleasure to know.

So I don't see why everyone seems to hate them.



Fixed that for ya... :)
destiny2
Decaying Rocky Odious Non Evil Stupid Inane Nobody
Rogue Drone Recovery Syndicate
#14 - 2012-02-03 05:59:15 UTC  |  Edited by: destiny2
Tirestun wrote:
Some time ago, I found myself in a bit of trouble. Tailed by 3 or four Pirates of questionable origins, I was hopping through
nullsec faster than I could have thought possible. Bear in mind, I was in a shuttle. No weapons, no shields worth a ****, and nothing at all that was really of any value in a fight stood between me and these blasters that were following me.

And then I entered Goon territory. I thought I was a goner at this point, but these guys were hot on my tail and I wasn't
going to let them pod me. 2 jumps, 3, 5, and finally, at 8 jumps into goon territory, they backed off.

Then I looked at local, and I saw why. Quickly, I made a jump to a planet, about 150km out. 'Friendly' waves greeted me in local, but I knew better. These were goons. By now, I was sure they had both gates leading to safety and freedom thoroughly camped (which, really, wouldn't be a difficult thing to do).

And so I decided to try the impossible:
I asked them for a ship, and some ISK to get me on my way.

They agreed, gave me a Drake, 500mil, and sent me on my merry way.

These kind actions by the best pilots I never knew, from the people you'd least expect, should be taken as not a warning, but an invitation. The Goons are pilots of the highest calibre, moral fiber, and some of the most honorable, best-intentioned men and women that I have ever had the pleasure to run into.

So I don't see why everyone seems to hate them.


We want local chat. Wallet Transactions. and Screen shots. this thread smells like some pretty bad Sh*&
There isnt any honor in this thread at all its all BS!
Alavaria Fera
GoonWaffe
#15 - 2012-02-03 06:36:22 UTC  |  Edited by: Alavaria Fera
Mai Khumm wrote:
we ganked them at Planet 1, (Silly noobs trusting a goon) after our titans ganked them

There's NO WAY our titans would be used to gank a few people. I mean SPAIS are always looking for titans to hotdrop.

Now if you were referring to some ~elite pvp~ group known for dropping titans on people and running from hurricane fleets, that might be possible.

Triggered by: Wars of Sovless Agression, Bending the Knee, Twisting the Knife, Eating Sov Wheaties, Bombless Bombers, Fizzlesov, Interceptor Fleets, Running Away, GhostTime Vuln, Renters, Bombs, Bubbles ?
Jake Warbird
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
#16 - 2012-02-03 07:15:01 UTC
Posting in a thread about Goons and rainbows.

Sugar Von MurdererTits : Jake Warbird gets my vote for most intriguing and attractive male character in Eve.
Citizen Smif
Pator Tech School
Minmatar Republic
#17 - 2012-02-03 09:01:41 UTC
Theres a very funny smell coming from under the bridge.. Shocked
Mai Khumm
172.0.0.1
#18 - 2012-02-03 10:38:25 UTC  |  Edited by: Mai Khumm
Alavaria Fera wrote:
Mai Khumm wrote:
we ganked them at Planet 1, (Silly noobs trusting a goon) after our titans ganked them

There's NO WAY our titans would be used to gank a few people. I mean SPAIS are always looking for titans to hotdrop.

Now if you were referring to some ~elite pvp~ group known for dropping titans on people and running from hurricane fleets, that might be possible.


Meh...

I just quickly threw something together. If I put any constructive thought into it. The goons would be the gay cop from the village people, riding space unicorns, that would use explosive diarrhea to propel itself, and use magical unicorn mayo that would have to be hand pumped for weapons...
Gary Bell
Therapy.
Brave Collective
#19 - 2012-02-03 15:08:42 UTC
Although goons can be asshats sometimes they play the way they want to and have fun doing it... cant fault them for that?
And i will say the funniest thing to come out of eve is still "WOOP WOOP THIS IS THE DELVE POLICE... PULL OVER !"
Levija Saplina
Ken Interplanetary Communication
#20 - 2012-02-03 16:50:52 UTC
Mai Khumm wrote:
Tirestun wrote:
Some time ago, I found myself in a bit of trouble. Tailed by 1 or 2 wannabe Pirates, I was hopping through
nullsec faster than I could have thought possible. Bear in mind, I was in a Bible Blaster 5000. Full weapons, Full shields, and nothing was really stopping me from killing these fucktards, in their pulse lazor fitted kestrels that were following me.

And then I entered Goon territory. I thought I was safe at this point, but these guys were hot on my tail and I wasn't
going to let them burn my hull. 2 jumps, 3, 5, and finally, at 8 jumps into home *cough* goon *cough* territory, they backed off.

Then I looked at local, and I was home system. I docked into a station. 'Friendly' waves greeted me in local. These were corpies *cough* goons *cough*. By now, I was sure they had both gates leading to safety and freedom thoroughly camped (which prevented my attackers from fleeing).

And so I decided to try the possible:
I asked my pursuers for an good old 1 v. 1.

They agreed, and we ganked them at Planet 1, (Silly noobs trusting a goon) after our titans ganked them we ransoned them for 500mil, they payed up, and we killed them anyways.

These kind actions are by the best pilots I never know, from the people you'd always expect. This should be taken as the norm with goons. Us Goons are pilots of the highest calibre, moral fiber, and some of the most honorable, best-intentioned men and women that I have ever had the pleasure to know.

So I don't see why everyone seems to hate them.



Fixed that for ya... :)


Best rewrite job I have ever seen in the world of literature.
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