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Crime & Punishment

 
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The Pirate Story Thread

First post First post
Author
Captain Nathaniel Butler
The White Company
#161 - 2012-01-02 11:42:49 UTC  |  Edited by: Captain Nathaniel Butler
Garven Dreis wrote:
Hooray! I'm Famous!


But in all seriousness, it was very well played. There's no reason to get buttfrustrated or anything, it's a new learning experience, and it's certainly something I won't be repeating

Here's another gem, it's the message I got from Kane's "alt" after the transaction/

Quote:
Hey man, i know you think you hired some mercs to kill us but... well you hired my alt to come kill us so... I have to thank you for sending my alt 500 mil. It will go far towards funding our war machine that will smash you tards into the ground. But alas, I won't be a complete ***tard and not thank you for the donation. I will comment though on your unfortunate foolishness in trying to hire a merc corp, which happens to be our alt corp, to come kill us. We laughed so hard we almost ****ed ourselves. If you send us another 500 mil (********* Inc. corp wallet this time) we might actually call the war off before it even begins :)

Fly Safe
**

P.S. YOU DUMB****


Needs more use of the word "Tard". But hey, I'll see if I can't dig up the chatlog.



Judging by your attitude towards the scam and the over use of the word "Tard" by the other corp , I honestly think that Cannibal Kane backed the wrong horse there.

You have the attitude that will get you far and serve you well in this game.


Edit to add: But now I see that both you and Cannibal Kane are in the same corp , which is excellent - I would imagine that there is a lot you can learn from him and also much fun to be had!

Lady Spank for C&P moderator.

Cannibal Kane
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#162 - 2012-01-03 11:08:45 UTC  |  Edited by: Cannibal Kane
I'm not a complete douche you know.

I have been known to be spending happily a 30 mil here or a 50mil there on a Newbie that attacks me out of his free will when I rescue ores from his Ore Captivity Container. And then laugh about it afterwards with a GF in local.

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk

BuzzyBeagle
Centers for Intergalactic Mercantile Acquisition
#163 - 2012-01-03 12:02:22 UTC
Cannibal Kane wrote:
I'm not a complete douche you know.



i agree you are only 98%
Darth Bex
Boundless Exploration
#164 - 2012-01-05 03:49:01 UTC
So I'm in HiSec with a couple of hours to burn, waiting on a Jump Clone timer. With nothing else to do I decide to scout the local belts and see what's shakin'. Before long I stumbled upon a Ferox mining into a can. Such an outrage can not be allowed to persist! So I bookmark his can, go and switch ships to my Battle Bestower [as seen here: Battle Bestower] and set forth for some thievery.

Landing on the can I have just enough room to scoop the lot. Then I just sit and wait. After a minute or two the Ferox is finally yellow boxing me but just won't fire. Instead he warps off to another belt, presumably annoyed by my presence. So I take note of his direction, drop off the ore donation, and warp to his new belt. Graciously, he is again can mining. As I wander over to the can I'm left wondering if he's armed at all with all the mining lasers and mining drones he has, but I don't let it stop me. Once again, I reposess the ore he has harvested and this time he locks and fires on me immediately.

A depressingly long lock sequence later and the ferox is scrammed, webbed and slowly being neuted to death. Volley after volley of conflagration magnified light eats 71 hit points with every cycle... this may take a while. The good news is he probably thinks he's teaching me a lesson at this stage. My shields are gone and my armour is melting fast, all the while his shield booster is comfortably negating the damage I'm dealing.

That's about where it all went south for him though. Alas, had he stopped mining perhaps his capacitor would've held out longer, but as he hit my structure, his booster got shut off. My medium hull repairer managed to hold off the damage of his missile launcher and after about 15 minutes of pounding, the Ferox went boom!

Not satisfied with the result, he quickly reshipped and called in a friend. A quick check of his friend's killboard showed he was quite an old 'toon who'd suffered some Cap losses in the past, clearly the Beastower wouldn't be up to the task. So I reshipped too, undocked in a Myrmidon and was quikcly engaged by the Caracal. Expecting his friend at any moment I returned fire only to see a Manticore uncloak and yellow box me moments later. I locked it back, recall my Hammerheads and dropped Warriors but he never fired, allowing me to pop the Caracal without incident.

Amused at the turn of events, I docked and logged off for a while. Upon logging back in I am immediately hailed in local by my hapless victim. It appears he's not done with me yet and was waiting outside station in a Raven. Very well, I thought. I'll bight. Expecting the mother of all ambushes, I undock in my Apoc and politely take from the can he has left me. He immediately opened fire with all manner of missiles but sadly, his Raven also broke apart rapidly. Even more astonishing was that the ambush never came. Thinking this is surely the end of it, I am about to dock when out he comes again, this time in a Drake. All I could manage in local was "Seriously?", but clearly he was, opening fire at close range. Well, the Drake was dispatched also, depressingly fast, and I watched as his little pod sped away.

Who says HiSec is boring?
Naburi NasNaburi
Doomheim
#165 - 2012-01-05 11:13:43 UTC  |  Edited by: Naburi NasNaburi
Darth Bex wrote:


Who says HiSec is boring?


Those who never get to taste such sweetness :)


I think I developed a nasty habit of finding strange people....
Months ago we met this young character, who quickly turned into a knight in shiny armor trying to get us back on the right path *coughs* pirating and ganking is evil... blahblah been there done that.. got bored quickly.
When she figured out that she cant change us she started talking behind our backs.. I got my hands on one of the convos: " one day I will teach them little bitches..... "
Challenge accepted baby!

Fast forward a few months.
We decide its time for her to teach us little bitches and wardec her.
First she totally freaked out, spitting insults left and right.
Then her panic button went off, she offered us everything she had in order for us to drop the dec.
It wasnt much (150mil maybe) but WE taught her a lesson.

Things were getting weird, weird as in: I think this player developed a Stockholm Syndrome.
She started praising our name, even calling me "Mama Nabs" ...hugging me everytime I got online.

Fast forward to chistmas.
She started the "oh pirating is bad thing" again... bad move.
I blocked her which totally freaked her out.
My partner in crime, darkchild's corpse told her: yep Nabu blocked you and its gonna cost you if you want to get unblocked.
Wallet blink: 100mil
WTH that was easy! Lets see if this works again.
He then told her: sorry.. Nabs said thats not enough.
His wallet blinked: 100mil

This was the moment I became greedy, I knew someone had given her 300mil when we ransomed her. Sooo.. I was interested in those last 100mil too.
We invited her to a convo and told her that she will never stop being our cash cow if she doesnt learn to say NO.
We told her this is EVE and that she needs to grow some balls - I had to grow them too.

We also told her that we know about the 300mil she was given, and that we arent THAT cruel, its christmas and we just wanted our share as a christmas present... and that if she didnt stop the "I will make you guys stop pirating thing" we would demand the last 100mil from her aswell.
Instead of getting the point my wallet flashed with *drumroll* 240mil

She offered us 50mil per month for letting her live. WTH ?

I cant count the hours of tearflow.. but its still going on as soon as shes online and sees us in a channel.
There are some really strange people out there.....
Justin Yoshimaru
Perkone
Caldari State
#166 - 2012-01-05 18:08:57 UTC  |  Edited by: Justin Yoshimaru
Real pirates take no prisoners.
Real pirates don't can flip.
Real pirates don't ransom.

Real pirates kill ****.

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=14917966

Just trolling heh, these stories are great!

Btw we're looking for buyers. Send me an eve mail if interested
Xearal
Dead's Prostitutes
DARKNESS.
#167 - 2012-01-06 06:23:19 UTC
Again, not that thrilling a tale.. but a tale nonetheless.. of an industrialist that is slowly succumbing to the enviromental effects of low sec.


So I've been practicly living in low sec for the last year now, at first jumping at every turn, then getting more lax, getting shot, blown up, learned another lesson and went on. Still when i venture to low sec, I mainly go there for exploration and hauling of precious cargo, not to Pew Pew.

However, off late, that has been a bit different. 2 weeks ago, some friends of our industrial corp, who are by their own definition pirates, asked for some of us to come join them a bit in their low sec turf. As i had a guardian in empire gathering dust, I figured, sure a little roam for a change would be nice. Our own nullsec roams are always at bad times for me, and I can't easily go back somewhere in the middle when I want to, so low sec roams are much nicer.
Sure, this was going to cost me some sec status, but ohwell, with 4.5 sec status, it would be a while before things would go wrong, and repping someone who has GCC doesn't give you much of a hit.
Sooo I went along, had good times, shot some baddies, made a little general mayhem. All fun and games.

Last night we had another one of those roams, only this time it was a little more urgent, they called for some serious backup. Again I clone jump to empire into a nice empty clone, I buy and refit a guardian, having lost the last one on the previous roam due to my own stupidity ( not docking up when you have GCC, and switching windows to read some forums.. then coming back and sitting in a pod ).
I holler for an invite, and get on mumble, and I find out I'm the only guardian in the fleet.. soo as that's not really going to work, I buy and fit a nice simple cane. I'm not as good at flying one of those as a guardian, as I have crappy gun skills, but hey, better than solo flying a guardian.
We had a hotdrop planned for some people, and I actually sat waiting at a POS next to a Titan. Damn those thing are big. The intended targets however decide not to show up, so we're all here getting antsy, especially me, because i was here for some pew pew, and not getting any. I wanted this cane to be blooded, to have it blow up, or at least engage something.
Still nothing happened. then suddenly the bridge goes up without any warning, people jump, apparantly somethign went wrong with the comms. I quickly try to jump, but the bridge is already gone, the cyno ship destroyed.
We regroup again, and this time we're putting the cyno on a bigger badder ship, which goes out to look for trouble.
More time passes, and I really feel like wanting to blow something up now, and wondering if I should just go to bed instead of waiting for it to happen.
Comms yell out again, possible targets, they seem reluctant to engage our bait ship, but in the end, they do, albeit at less than optimal range. Cyno goes up, bridge goes up, and the entire fleet jumps in, on comms we already heard about the range problem. ohwell, can't be helped.

I overload all my mid slots, MWD on, I burn as fast as I can to the nearest ship, which just manages to warp out before I catch it, damn me for fitting a scram and not a disruptor... 2nd ship is not so lucky! scram on it, all guns blazing in overheat, the rest of the fleet is also flying like mad to capture anythign we can, the drake goes down, I keep burning on, heading ot a huginn, it was still well out of range, but I have a targetlock...
Open FIRE! someone else did manage to point it! Whoohoo, guns in range, and here we go.. Kaboom goes the huginn.
Another ship further on, a falcon, it's aligning and trying to get away, overheat is really hurting my mods, but screw it, Lock, Point, FIRE! bingo.. there she goes, a lovely explosion.

The field is empty of targets.. I shut down my MWD, and turnoff the overheat. My MWD was nearly burned out, so while we chatter on what we're going to do, I dock up a moment, repair and come back.
We're still sitting on the gate, and think about camping here for a bit, though some people had problems with this, as they wouldn't be able to shoot at everythign some of the other people could.
BTA's RoE is NRDS, but only in solitude. And the only blues we have in this region is the people I'm flying with now. High on adrenalin, I'm eager for yet another notch on my cane's side. We sit there for like 5 minutes, then a neut jumps into system thorugh our gate. Whoohoo..
As soon as they decload, I begin burning towards them, locking up and engaging before even the order is given. I'm out for blood, and this drake will do fine.
On comms they call for bumping it, so it can't burn back to the gate before it dies. Someone says they have it webbed, I say i got 2 more webs on it.. This drake is going nowhere. Shields melt like butter under our fire.
Soon the only thing left is a pod and some loot. Yet another notch on this cane's hull :)

At this point, people are calling it a night, and I see it's pretty late on my clock, so I bid them farewell as well, and head back to high sec. .5 sec status poorer, but feeling Ooh so good about it.

In reflection, I think living so much in low sec is rubbing piracy on me, or somethign like that. I'm already thinking of roaming through neiboring regions outside our own in my pilgrim, because we're NRDS in our own region, and the people around our own region know me, and know me as this friendly industrialist, who isn't scared of a fight, and if caught will defend herself. But who is watching local, watching D-scan, and knows how to GTFO of places, which makes catching me rather difficult.
( more than half the time I'm cloaked anyway ;) )
I'd like to keep that reputatation, so when I'm 'at home' I can just chill and enjoy myself in low, relaxing gently. Ofcourse outside of Solitude.. That's a whole different story...

Am I slowly becoming a pirate? Am I slowly turning to 'the dark side'? Pirate

Does railgun ammunition come in Hollow Point?

Byrinkaikin
Arris Touchstone
#168 - 2012-01-07 02:38:22 UTC
This happened a while back.

I was belt ratting in a 0.5 system, and caught 2 rat haulers, both with about 10k trit in each wreck. Only problem is, their about 15k apart, and I'm in a Brutix with no AB. No big deal. I cruise over to the first one and as I get within range, a destroyer warps in, and scoots over to the other wreck. I loot the one I'm at, and start making my way to the other one. I know what he's up to, so I'm ready to take him out. Like I figured, he flips the wreck, and goes red. I immediately lock him and proceed to pound him into structure while he aligns and warps off. I posted in local that I hope what he got covers his repair bill, and he acted all surprised that he got shot up, since he didn't know the wreck was mine.

Oh well. Made me smile for a little while.
Ubiquitous Forum Alt
#169 - 2012-01-07 02:55:19 UTC
Byrinkaikin wrote:
This happened a while back.

I was belt ratting in a 0.5 system, and caught 2 rat haulers, both with about 10k trit in each wreck. Only problem is, their about 15k apart, and I'm in a Brutix with no AB. No big deal. I cruise over to the first one and as I get within range, a destroyer warps in, and scoots over to the other wreck. I loot the one I'm at, and start making my way to the other one. I know what he's up to, so I'm ready to take him out. Like I figured, he flips the wreck, and goes red. I immediately lock him and proceed to pound him into structure while he aligns and warps off. I posted in local that I hope what he got covers his repair bill, and he acted all surprised that he got shot up, since he didn't know the wreck was mine.

Oh well. Made me smile for a little while.


So....You weren't the pirate, you were the bear.....And you didn't even kill the pirate.....And you got trolled in local....

Could you at least post the chatlog containing any/all tears you may have shed regarding the incident? P

I don't log in - I don't need to. My very existence griefs people. They see my name, and they instinctively fill with rage and indignation. Deny it all you want - but if you didn't care, you wouldn't have posted, would you?

Byrinkaikin
Arris Touchstone
#170 - 2012-01-07 04:50:00 UTC  |  Edited by: Byrinkaikin
Ubiquitous Forum Alt wrote:
Byrinkaikin wrote:
This happened a while back.

I was belt ratting in a 0.5 system, and caught 2 rat haulers, both with about 10k trit in each wreck. Only problem is, their about 15k apart, and I'm in a Brutix with no AB. No big deal. I cruise over to the first one and as I get within range, a destroyer warps in, and scoots over to the other wreck. I loot the one I'm at, and start making my way to the other one. I know what he's up to, so I'm ready to take him out. Like I figured, he flips the wreck, and goes red. I immediately lock him and proceed to pound him into structure while he aligns and warps off. I posted in local that I hope what he got covers his repair bill, and he acted all surprised that he got shot up, since he didn't know the wreck was mine.

Oh well. Made me smile for a little while.


So....You weren't the pirate, you were the bear.....And you didn't even kill the pirate.....And you got trolled in local....

Could you at least post the chatlog containing any/all tears you may have shed regarding the incident? P



I'll see if I can find them. It's been several months.

Edit: It's been almost a year, to the day since the incident. I really wish I had a scram fitted at the time, but, hindsight is 20/20

Here's the snippet I found.:

[ 2011.01.09 03:11:33 ] NOLAN0331 ha ha ha
[ 2011.01.09 03:17:30 ] Byrinkaikin lol hope that stuff you stole covers your repair bill ass
[ 2011.01.09 03:22:47 ] NOLAN0331 well in all trueth didnt know it was urs, but it will do
Darth Bex
Boundless Exploration
#171 - 2012-01-07 14:52:01 UTC
Terrible story with a terrible ending made entertaining by the fact you've no idea you were trolled.
Byrinkaikin
Arris Touchstone
#172 - 2012-01-07 17:52:31 UTC
Darth Bex wrote:
Terrible story with a terrible ending made entertaining by the fact you've no idea you were trolled.


Yeah, it's not quite the caliber of story that others have posted. If I'd've smoked him, it would have been better.

But, like I said, hindsight is 20/20.
Garven Dreis
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#173 - 2012-01-08 02:07:20 UTC
Your pretty lucky he didn't come back in a better ship to blast your backside. That would've been a good pirate story.

Terrible Poster Runner-up 2014

Lady Spank
Get Out Nasty Face
#174 - 2012-01-08 03:16:14 UTC
love these stories

(ಠ_ృ) ~ It Takes a Million Years to Become Diamonds So Lets Just Burn Like Coal Until the Sky's Black ~ (ಠ_ృ)

Byrinkaikin
Arris Touchstone
#175 - 2012-01-08 16:04:57 UTC
Garven Dreis wrote:
Your pretty lucky he didn't come back in a better ship to blast your backside. That would've been a good pirate story.


Yeah, that would have made it better. Or his ship going boom the first time, him crying about it and coming after me again, with the same results.
MissNic
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#176 - 2012-01-08 18:38:32 UTC
Byrinkaikin wrote:
I'm proud that my near-motionless BC could withstand a destroyer


Fixed.

I like Brutix hulls, please don't make them go boom by failing to fit any prop mods Shocked


Ubiquitous Forum Alt
#177 - 2012-01-08 23:22:22 UTC
Should also probably avoid belt ratting in 0.5 systems in battlecruisers in general....Or really PvEing in the Brutix in general...

I don't log in - I don't need to. My very existence griefs people. They see my name, and they instinctively fill with rage and indignation. Deny it all you want - but if you didn't care, you wouldn't have posted, would you?

Cannibal Kane
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#178 - 2012-01-14 15:41:46 UTC  |  Edited by: Cannibal Kane
It's not everyday that you get to post your own stupidty in C/P.

For the most part people will only hear about your success in scamming somebody or popping that nice expensive ship.

This time the shoe was on the other foot.

Now for the most part when I see a Battleship can mining, two things go through my head... Trap or Dumbass. Even so I would get my alt in his cloaky ship and scan them to see which.

This time I did not.

Warped in with my Legion and flipped the can, I see drones and I'm scrammed and webbed. This is where I realize i need to pop this ship quickly. Shield go down fast, local explodes with more of their corp members. 2 Falcons on field and now I know this is a hopeless cause for me.

I sit back in my chair slow sipping on my coffe as I orbiting the Bait ship and watch more ships enter as they slowly eat through my armor.

I got caught with my hand in can... and paid the price.

The day I become lax is the day I loose my ship.

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=15013886

Won't make that mistake again. new ship fitted, looking for that next Pirate Thread post.

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk

Sanguine Belroth
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#179 - 2012-01-17 07:14:54 UTC
Well, its pirating - but more like kicking over childrens sandcastles.

I saw a rupture mining in a high sec belt. Now this saddens me to see such a noble combat vessel put to such a task, all four turrets were mining away, so it wasn't some sort of can flip sleep agent.
I switched to my Iteron of doom, and warped in to teach him a lesson about can flipping. Sure enough, he took the bait - so I engaged my single neutron blaster, and opened up a convo.
He expressed his distress and a number of plz stop's.
I explained how can flipping worked, and said you should really use a proper mining ship.
He said that I would be in big trouble with his corp, and that they had battleships.
I explained that Battleships can't hit frigates to save themselves, and that not to worry, I wasn't going to kill him. I then turned off the scram and web.
He once again threatened me with his 5 corp mates that were currently on their way in battlecruisers.
I said, well then consider this a lesson then. And vaporized his Rupture, and sent him 5mill Isk with the tag "Go Buy A Scythe".

He raged about the unfairness of it all and closed convo.

I was only trying to help.. But when someone in a mining rupture starts trying to talk down to you... I mean you have to shoot them?
Darth Bex
Boundless Exploration
#180 - 2012-01-17 08:34:58 UTC
Sanguine Belroth wrote:
I was only trying to help.. But when someone in a mining rupture starts trying to talk down to you... I mean you have to shoot them?


You did the right thing.