Crime & Punishment

I park my ibis near your poco, deter would be aggressors, charge 7 isk a month. happy yes

Thats actually pretty funny as I think it was intended to be. Maybe you should try removing the piece of wood from your anus and growing a sense of humor.

Why would I post it if I didn't think it was funny.

The big badass postureing merc theme in the overwhelming majority of vimsy's posts gets old and my post was trying to suggest that its ok to drop out of character now and again but I can see how it came across as douchey rather then sarcastic so ill concede the point and offer my apologies.

One day, not so long ago, I had bought PLEX from steam (never do that).
I usually sell in the further reaches of highsec so I took my malediction out to go and redeem+sell at said place.

On my way back, I passed through Hek and noticed a war target sitting on gate in a stabber fleet issue.
Being in a diction, I wondered to myself: "hmm afk sfi, must be a trap... and even if it isn't I don't have the dps to burn it"
So I did what anyone brilliant would do, I went to the Boundless station, bought a NOmen and went out to blap it.

Turns out the guy really was afk on a gate whilst at war with P45
SFI km
Pod

I don't recall sending him a Complaint form afterwards, but it was a uselessly stressful moment
And obviously, he won't be the last to suffer this fate

Dear C&P,

i was asked to tell you this story and was pointed here.

So prepare for some bad written wall of text.

I started around 8 days ago playing EvE. For now i use a Venture (i got some isk in Rookie Help) for mining while i read guides or watch Eveiseasy on youtube. 2 or 3 days ago i was invited into a chatchannel from people i didn't know before. Here i was able to toss questions a lot (which was and still is awesome).

Yesterday I jumped into my Venture and warped to the belt in my startersystem (there is only one). There was a hulk (impressive ship! flown by a 2 years+ old player) with a freigther container (i believe) right besides him. The container was yellow on overview. Never seen before. Tossed a question. Recieved the hint to check the container. Taking mined ore is faster then mining on your own. After i realised that "green safety-mode" wont work i switched to "defcon orange". I filled my ore-hold and warped back to station. My cargo-window told me that i had almost 900k isk in my hold. After my 2nd run i learned that i can bookmark containers. So i almost emptied the container (i only let 800m³ inside), docked up and went afk (also to get rid of the yellow timer in the top left corner). Half an hour later i come back and was happy to see there is more free ore (yay). Sadly i only took 2 more runs before he realized what happens. He started a convo and talked with me in cyrillic which i dont understand. i started to thank him for the free ore and if he can mine some more - because this is kind of the help we noobies need.

He sent me 100k bounty.

Somehow the guys (and lads?) in the channel thought that´s very funny. As the hulk locked me they told me to dock up and get some things (shopping list was: tristan, warp scrambler, web, 2 small armor repairs, damage control, neutron blasters, anti matter).

I kept "chatting" with the hulkpilot (no idea if he was able to understand me) and warped back in to the container.
He instantly locked me up (my tristan was renamed "Venture" as i was told) and launched 2 hobgoblins I. Then a window popped up "Pilot_X wants to duell you" (or so). I accepted and parked right besides him. The two drones were webbed and fast killed by my guns while the scrambler did some nice gfx on the hulk. as he moved slowly away i kept on following him and also activated the web. Slowly but steady i kept hitting him with my blasters. Chat-guys said he did probably run out of cap because after the 2nd reload his shield started to drop faster.

He sent me 1m bounty.

I typed in the convo that i would stop shooting for 150m. As the hulk entered the last 25% armor there was a message about self-destruction and a pod appeared on overview. He warped off and i popped the hulk (i was told afterwards that i should have said a word so someone had come to hijack the vessel *sigh*).

He sent me another 50m bounty.


So in total i had 20 minutes of mining, 30 minutes of pure fun and earned myself 30m ISK. That´s the opportunity i´d like to see in the tutorial.
I´m 8 days old, not a single skillpoint was trained (as Lynni is supposed to be a passive-income char; i also got a Lynni + 1 day old combat char (security missions)).

There are still a couple questions that are unanswered:
- can i shoot the rescuepod in a duell?
- me that should be something i'm able to link to them
- I'm pretty sure i saw the 51.1m bounty yesterday ingame... but on eve-gate it tells me 0 isk bounty
- i had some serious adrenaline rush and heavy heartbeating as i started my guns. I almost was not able to lock those drones up - had to zoom quite far out. WTF is this? it seems this is refered to as "The Shakes" and should dissapear after more pvp experience.

Oh... as i forgot to mention it: If this is what eve can be like... HELLO WORLD!

EDIT:
I found the chatlog and as far as goolge translate told me there was not a single kind word in it (though some translations looked very awkward):

[ 2016.04.21 20:15:07 ] Someone > ты какого хуя пиздишь ресурсы из контейнера?
[ 2016.04.21 20:27:18 ] Someone > ты тупая сука зачем чужие контейнеры воруешь?
[ 2016.04.21 20:29:09 ] Someone > за твою голову теперь назначен 1000000 исков
[ 2016.04.21 20:38:24 ] Someone > ну ты тварь вобще охуела
[ 2016.04.21 20:40:41 ] Someone > пиздец тебе увижу нахер убью

Realized yesterday that i indeed got a killreport. No idea when it popped up.
If aynone is interrested in the can-mining-hulk-kill, please send me an evemail. I´ll answer with linkage in few hours (it´s offcie time right now :))

EDIT:
Nevermind. I try to put the kill to the killboard and just link it into my post above.

Hello Morgan,

thank you very much for your words and your answers.

Will deliver the killmail later the day.

I m terrible at remembering things.
Here is the long ago "promised" kill: https://zkillboard.com/kill/53459358/

@ Dilligafmofo:
Nice story :)


You´re joking? 1b is an awafull lot of isk...

As I was one of very few online yesterday morning my selection of targets of was pretty limited.
So, I decided to look for volunteers.

I like Aphend a very great deal. It's really close to where I chain my fedo and there are many a bear that is sent there on various missions.
Unfortunately there are some usual suspects who lurk in that area. These are crusty old bears who are most definitely 'on to my ****'. That's okay, i've got them set to grey and try to remember the scan sigs of their ships so I don't waste too much of my time on folks who are too wary to play with me. But, what's this? Not one, but TWO battleships in the same place, not even remotely near a station. I don't recognize their scan sigs, so I send my trusty Fed Navy Comet hurtling towards them.

I love the Fed Navy Comet. Like, a lot. More on this later.

I drop into their mission area only to realize that not only are there two battleships, an Abaddon and Raven Navy Issue, but also an Orca in the pocket. Numerous escape pods litter my overview. It's The Anomaly, part 1. Super. I start heading towards the nearest pod and scoop up it's contents. Diddly, stranded pilot. Okay. That's fine, on to the next. By the third pod looted the Orca has given me the carebear stare. No biggie, as I'm still not suspect. Finally I land on that magic pod... nothing in it, but upon opening it a lovely yellow cargo container spawns right next to me. Mission critical object! YAY! I swipe, it's only the right thing to do, and I go flashy yellow.

The Orca decides that this is a very good time to bugger off and does so. Shortly after that both the Abaddon and the RNI both lock me up. I roll the dice and fail to be impressed, I've been stared at by some of the best carebears before and Omar just don't scare that easy. Check their employment histories, 2009 and 2005 players... both in same corp but with drastically different name schemes. Neat, this could be interesting!

I hear that magic ringtone as BOTH battleships engage me. I'm excited, then i check my other tab and realize that they've sent two full flights of drones at me. Oh, snap. I start to spiral in to the Abaddon because... well, lasers. The RNI is gonna do it's damage no matter what, but the Pink Floyd laser light show I can work with. My three drones and blasters are working furiously to get the swarm under control... by this point I've got mister brick tank scrammed and have assumed my usual tight orbit on him. Various alarms are screaming and my ship is starting to glow.

I remember that I can overheat things and proceed to do so, but not my guns. No need, those are busy popping Acolytes and Infiltrators. Eventually the swarm dies down and it's just the steady pounding from the RNI's cruise missiles thumping against my hull. I'm okay with this. My drones are all still alive, but some are pretty mauled. I start the dance of pulling them in and sending them back out to foil the obvious notion that popping them will stop me... battleship targeting time works against my opponents in this, so you know, use whatever tricks you can. They get caught up in trying to kill my little minions that I actually get enough of a respite to repair my badly overworked armor repairer.

The RNI decides to pull range and do Raven things from 90km out, which is okay. I'm hammering on the 'baddon with drones and blasters and my itty bitty neut. At this point i'm also pretty much out of cap charges too, so I'm being a bit more cautious with my cap as I want to come out of this on top. Usually when it's 2 vs 1 for me I'm scurrying off on fire or in a pod.
Next thing I know mister Raven has popped another flight of drones, crap... oh wait, he's 90km out. He's too far by a long shot to send those things at me and we both know it. He starts heading back towards me. Oh, really?

Not a word over local, nor any attempt at conversation over PM either, these guys are in it to win it... I mean it's just one frigate, right? Raven boy skirts to within 25km and sends his drones my way. Bad move. I beeline straight for him and drop scram on the 'baddon and point the RNI instead. This is what I'd wanted from the start. The 'baddon warps off, apparently remembering that he left his oven on or something. I proceed to melt the Raven's drones and get down to business.

Now, here's the thing. I've flown both regular and navy ravens on missions before. What they lack compared to their amarr counterparts is cap recharge. Sure, you can build one that's 'cap stable', but there's a pretty huge difference between 'cap stable' and 'cap stable while a frenzied gallente blasterboat with a small neut and a muderboner is humping my face'.

The comet is pretty much my new favorite boat for violencing battleships, to be honest. It packs dps that sits somewhere between the Ishkur and the Enyo and can field 3 light drones at once while having another 3 in the bay as back up. With a set of snakes the damned thing moves almost twice as fast as it's assault frigate cousins. It's pure joy to fly in these instances.

I've been putting the tongs to the Raven pilot for a while now, and I'm keeping my eye on my timers, and d-scan. With just under a minute left on his timer I see the 'baddon show back up on d-scan. I presume that he's restocked his drone bay and most likely at the very least grabbed some crystals that are better able to track me this time around. This does not bode well for me. With 30 seconds left on the limited engagement timer he drops out of warp... about 100km away from me. It seems the dance with the Raven has drawn the two of us a considerable distance from the warp in point. I start counting down... the limited engagement with him drops a few seconds before he's able to re-establish lock on me.

https://zkillboard.com/kill/54492144/