Crime & Punishment

Sav forgot to mention the fiasco where the CEO tried to duel a Drake in his T3 Neut Legion.


We where milling about, doing warstuff, and a drake pilot was watching us in the oh so fun action and excitement of station camping, The CEO of the alliance, thought it would be funny to bump him around and try to harass the drake. The drake pilot took all in stride. The CEO then tried to bait the Drake by dropping a container in front of him. The Drake laughable managed to grab whatever loot from the container and warp off and dock up.

The CEO obviously annoyed at this point tried to dual the Drake, now during this point, we had not only ship scanned his fit down, showing a very heavy 500dps passive tank, but where talking to the Drake pilot about in local. So everyone knew the fit the drake was running. The CEO somehow was oblivious this, decided to send the dual invite to the drake.

Now the legion was a, Neut/Blaster...thing. And the DPS on it was so low, that the passive shield recharge was beating the Legions DPS. The CEO became confused.

CEO: Why is he still repping? I should have him neuted out by now?
Everyone else in TS: He's in a passive tank.
CEO: What does that matter? He should be neuted!
Everyone else,: PASSIVE tank, It doesn't run off of Cap.
CEO: What really?

Yes really, The CEO who was flying around in a T3 didn't understand what a passive tank was, nor did he hear us or read about the passive tank drake, whose fit was posted into two chats.

The CEO tried for 15 or 20mins trying to break the tank, fruitlessly as his dps was only 350, and the drake was pumping around 500DPS, Unfortunately the Drake ran out of ammo and wasn't able to break the tank of the Legion and the Legion wasn't able to break his natural tank. A Stalemate one would assume, pack up go home. Well this over....zealous CEO thought it would be a great idea to get his corp for help.

Basically demanding for assistance, he had us try a suicide gank, which failed, tried to switch ships with a higher dps ship, which fail. Eventually, he gave up and coincided to a very embarrassing fight. Wonderful, this is what we are dealing with. At the time we were wardec with another Highsec Wardeccing corp. The thought had crept into my mind to send them a message and have them come by and clean things up. But my hope for maybe a new alliance and new friends kept the action from happening.


Go ahead a few more days. we are sitting on a gate, and have a possible Tengu fight happening, while on gate, we explain to everyone to keep your speed up and try to out run the explosion velocity of the tengu, the CEO of course decided to chime in with another witless remark.

"What does it matter? We can't outrun the missile we'd have to be going over 2500ms."

Us, "No, the explosive velocity, you only need to be going like 200 to negate most of it,"

"What are you talking about, the missile is going 2500ms!"

Not only does he not understand passive tanks, but missiles and how they work as well. Rather sad for a CEO to try and run a grief alliance and not even understand basic PvP mechanics that anybody can pull from Eve-uni, or any other great websites that offer guilds.

Love these stories. I've got an old one to tell, in which I play the role of the innocent bear. No tears on my part, but there was a very confused pirate.

This goes back to early 2009. Up till then, most of my skill training had gone to avoiding people like you, and that's paid off handsomely. I naturally get cov-ops and blockade runners, and I also pick up scan probe skills because few people bother, and I make billions of isk running radar sites in -A- space as well as in the FW area of Metropolis.

The FW area is my favorite roaming ground even though my corp is based in Providence at the time. The fleets made of light ships that can't handle the gate guns tend to leave me alone, while they're also eager to engage all red flashy pirates. They're a ready, unpaid security force, so I take advantage.

For those rather newish to the game, this is the time when you pretty much needed a cov-ops ship (with rigs) to scan down most sites, and the sites themselves had rats. So, my method was to scan for radar (now called data, but as few people ran them, they paid about 10-100X as much as now) in the Anathema, BM it, and then get a cheap Arbitrator to loot. This went on with total success for a couple months, until one day I go to a radar site in a system that has only one other person in local. Said person had been there while I was scanning out the site, but I never noticed his ship on scan, and figured he was mostly harmless.

I warp into the site and start clearing the warp-scram-capable rats. That's when another person enters local. No big deal. Happens all the time. Except within five seconds of this guy entering local, he is now in the complex I'm in, piloting a Broadsword. Now I know exactly what was going on. The first guy was a cloaked alt, waiting in the complex to signal his buddy, who had logged off in the site, to log back on and gank the helpless bear. Well played.

I try to warp the heck out of there, but my AB killed my align time and I get pointed. I abandon the warrior IIs and send out some ECW drones to hopefully get a lucky jam, but no dice. My Arby is going down.

This is where my inexperience in being ganked hurts, as I'm not that comfortable with the session-change from exploding ship to pod. So, I figure I'll eject and warp off while the Broadsword is preoccupied chewing down my cruiser. (As I understand with crimewatch, the aggression from the ECW drones would prevent me from doing this today). So I eject, session change, warp and... nope, scrammed. Damn he locks fast!

Now I'm royally screwed. No getting away, and the pirate knows it. He stops firing at my vacant cruiser and I get a convo request. Here comes the ransom demand. I'm about to click on it when I remember that opening new chat windows also sends a lag spike to the client. A quick check out my pod window tells me that he only has my pod scrammed. My Arby, while on fire, is free of all effects. A-ha! A plan emerges. I click on my Arby, select board, and quickly accept the convo. In the time it takes for the chat window to open, I'm back in a fully responsive cruiser with no AB bricking my maneuverability and I warp to the gate and freedom. I am halfway to the gate when the ransom demand for 100 Mil comes through in chat.

Of course, the Broadsword pilot is very confused about what just happened, and insisted that it, in fact, could not have happened. After all, he had both me and my ship locked the entire time. Well, I was ignorant of such things: I didn't even know that having a ship locked was supposed to prevent others from boarding. But, whatever, my scheme worked, I told him he was obviously mistaken, and said he might want to report to CCP if it's an exploit. (After some research on the matter, I find out there's an exception where you can always board a ship you own: so complete ignorance of game mechanics wins over partial ignorance!). I safely make it back to my low-sec staging point and count my lucky implants.

Now, a couple weeks later, I see the same alt alone in a system again, with the exact same radar site with the scram-capable frigs on scan. I'm not stupid, I know exactly what's up, but I am curious. I have run through that last gank a couple times in my head, thinking if there was anything I could have done to get out faster. I've even changed some of my best practices in response. So, I want to know if they will work. I take the bait, warp in with the same Arby that escaped previously, and I start to align to a random planet while deploying drones and getting on with the business at hand. It doesn't take long for my broadsword friend to appear. I warp off... no, I don't. He scrams me again. Obviously, I suck at this escape thing. I don't waste any time and immediately eject and this time successfully warp off. The Broadsword pilot doesn't even bother to lock me. He's in it for vengeance now. As I enter warp, I see my faithful Arby turn into a blinding blue light. No convo or local chatter comes from the pirate. Just the kill mail.

On my way back to the station on pod power, I figure this guy is going to be a problem if he's going to camp the most profitable sites, so something needs to be done. I could get corp members, but they're not in Metropolis and having multiple corp members in system would be a dead giveaway that I was acting as bait. Instead, I hit upon the idea that next time I see this guy's alt, I'll find one of the FW fleets and offer them a Broadsword kill (and probably an Arby kill as well, because this is Eve, but they've been my unwitting benefactors for so long that I figure it's a fair price). So, a wicked smile crosses my face, content in the knowledge that next time I'll have revenge.

Then CCP releases Apocrypha, and the next day everyone in a BS is running what used to be my sites. I mothball the Anathema and move out of Metropolis.

So if you're out there reading this, Mr. Pirate, CCP saved you!

Been a while since I posted, but this story is worth it... somewhat.

At some point we were part of an alliance (HFC) operating mostly in lowsec. Our exec at the time was a friendly, if somewhat carebearish dude, and we had a small group of blues. One of these corps (let's call them corp A) had a CEO that made a sport out of insulting me personally and our corp as a whole. I remember we lost some POCO's in lowsec one day. A trivial matter to us, but this guy went on a mailing spree calling us noobs for trying to hold what we couldn't defend. As you can probably guess, business logic like 'return on investment' went over his head. So we tolerated their corp reluctantly untill we eventually split from HFC and didn't have to deal with them anymore.

Enter alliance B, which requests standings with our corp but also work with corp A. As it happens, B's exec CEO is actually a cool dude that puts his ISK where his mouth is. Not wanting to have an external alliance dictate our small blue list, we offer standings / fleet acces to their PVP corps and they accept these terms. Some roams happen, we have tons of fun with members from his corp. Now at some point, B's exec CEO confesses to me he intends to rob corp A blind. While at first things between A and B went smoothly, B is now subject to the same insulting treatment of A's CEO. On top of that, A's CEO thought it a good idea to threaten lowsec assets owned by an ally of both us and B.

The kicker? B's CEO still has a director alt in corp A...

Off course we helped secure the grid when A's control tower in lowsec was cleared out. Off course the forcefield was turned off while we camped the stick. We had hoped to catch a few members logging in on the POS, but it didn't happen... however, a nice Rapier from corp A land smack in the middle of our fleet. 5 seconds later he is space dust! We catch the pod too, which turned out to be 100m+ worth. Assets are being shuffled. B's exec informs us of the roughly 5B pricetag on the assets retrieved. Our corp is given a cut for our assistance.

Then we wardecced corp A, killed a Megathron, and claimed all their POCO's in hisec.

Run your mouth. Get what you deserve. Just curious how pissed was Corp A's CEO pissed off?

[ 2014.07.06 18:10:45 ] Victim > did you take my loot? what happened?
[ 2014.07.06 18:12:35 ] Counterpart > I blew up your MTU because I was searching for loot
[ 2014.07.06 18:14:02 ] Counterpart > Also, you forgot your sentries :\

I live in lowsec directly adjacent to a highsec ice mining system. I usually like to keep an eye on the ice belt for people can mining or using mtus. One day I notice that this guy has a hookbill that he takes out of his orca to shoot at the code guys that occasionally pop up in system. I decide that im going to try to bait him in my procurer.

So there I am flying around in my procurer flipping wrecks and acting nubby. Ofc the hookbill toon leaves system. Im a little annoyed but not deterred. I decide to keep baiting to see if anybody else will take the bait. After awhile an arzu pops up. I have a friend in a pair of logi on standby and after some discussion it is decided that I probably dont have enough dps to break the arzu, so I quickly dock up and grab some medium drones (I didnt know at this point that bandwidth limitations would only allow me to fly 2 mediums from a procurer - derp), a neut and a few other things for refit from my depot if the need should arise. I go back to the icebelt and of course the arzu pilot is now mining in a barge - damn!

Well the night is still young so I continue baiting. After some time my friend in the logi gets bored and decides to try a more direct approach. He grabs a battle badger and starts shooting at me. He scrams me and I scram him and we start going at it. Well this seems to do the trick. About two thirds of the ice belt 7-10 assorted barges unload with their drones on me. My friend immediately takes off to get his logi leaving me to tank the drones and pick targets. Well, I'm holding pretty well since despite their numbers their damage is fairly underwhelming. As I look at my potential targets, I notice amongst the barges is an orca. I quickly decide that I'm going for the orca and point and web him and start shooting him with my two medium hammers.

Meanwhile, Im still taking damage from the barges (as well as the orca's drones). I'm about a 1/3 into my shields when my friends scythes land on grid and immediately start repping me, going suspect in the process. Meanwhile another friend shows up in armor logi - why did we have mixed armor and shield logi - because of derp. Anyways they start repping my procurer as it slowly chews into the orca. After about 5-7 mins some bright watt in the barge fleet decides to go for my drones. This is where the mixed armor and shield logi actually paid off, since every cycle they were able to alpha the drones shields and cause a little armor damage. Without the armor rr, eventually they would have killed the drones, but with the armor rr on the field we were able to keep the both the procurer and the drones up.

After about 10 min or so, the barges give up and leave the field. However a few of the pilots return in a mixed bag of small combat ships and start shooting my procurer. However, these pilots are unable to break the rr. Shortly there after, my suspect timer runs out. Most of the combat pilots also give up leaving me and the orca alone to shoot it out. Why no one went for the rr directly I dont know.

I settle in for a long grind and start ask for ransom in local. The orca pilot is disdainful and states that he has back up on the way. Sure enough, the orca's alliance mates start showing up in a handful of small ships which they immediately suicide on my procurer for some reason or other.

Concord says no.
Concord punishes the wicked

After some more time, the orca pilot tries to play his own rr card by getting a guardian to remote rep him. By this time as there is no incoming dps on the procurer, since I killed the orcas drones and the rest of his fleet has bailed, the rr have ceased repping and let their suspect timers run out. So the only suspect on the field is the guardian. The guardian keeps bouncing around warping in and throwing a few reps then warping out. Truth be told - he wasnt doing enough rr to keep the orca up - only prolonging the slow grind, but anyway my friends decide to go for him. One reships to a strat and tries to land on him but the guardian keeps switching locations too quickly for the strat to get into position. Well after a couple of tries my other friend realizes that he has a lachises in system and grabs that. He lands the lachises at zero on the orca and waits thinking that, the mere presences of the lachises will keep the guardian away. Well I guess they dont teach their logi pilots "ship identification" in this particular alliance because all of a sudden there the guardian is again. The guardian is pointed and quickly goes boom.

After the guardians dies, the orca pilot opens a convo and offers to pay the ransom, but instead of the 600mil I ask for he only gives me 10mil. Naturally I therefore continue the grind. At this point I have used my depot and have 2 mediums and a single light drone grinding away and a small neut in play as well.

Finally a full 50 mins later (30 of which we were suspect) the orca succumbs to the power of my procurer of doom.

The full tally in damage is about 900mil isk between the guardian, orca and the suicided ships. Now that is going to take alot of ice mining to replace.

Even funnier is that this kill spawned two troll threads with some very comical responses.
Orca troll thread
Orca troll thread pt 1

I encourage you to pop on over to the thread that is still unlocked and leave a message to keep it alive.

All in all, was fun, would do again.

Edit: Just a small edit - I actually did mine while I was shooting the orca at least until my ore hold was full of ice.

Good read, would read again. The fact that you got a load of ice while killing an orca is just priceless. Here I was thinking PVP and Industry were mutually exclusive.

[ 2014.07.18 02:50:41 ] (None) Jumping from Anttiri to Juunigaishi
[ 2014.07.18 02:51:01 ] (notify) Autopilot warping to Uedama
[ 2014.07.18 02:51:35 ] (notify) Speed changed to 475 m/s
[ 2014.07.18 02:51:35 ] (notify) Autopilot approaching target
[ 2014.07.18 02:51:45 ] (notify) counterpart: You have foolishly engaged in criminal activity within sight of sentry guns and must suffer the consequences.
[ 2014.07.18 02:51:45 ] (notify) counterpart, criminals are not welcome here. Leave now or be destroyed.
(Not Responding)
[ 2014.07.18 02:51:45 ] (combat) counterpart[.nxy.](Thrasher) - 250mm Light 'Scout' Artillery I - Hits
[ 2014.07.18 02:51:50 ] (combat) 970 from counterpart[.nxy.](Thrasher) - 250mm Light 'Scout' Artillery I - Penetrates
[ 2014.07.18 02:51:55 ] (combat) 1024 from counterpart[.nxy.](Thrasher) - 250mm Light 'Scout' Artillery I - Penetrates
[ 2014.07.18 02:52:02 ] (notify) You cannot do that while warping.
[ 2014.07.18 02:52:43 ] (notify) Autopilot warping to Uedama
[ 2014.07.18 02:52:43 ] (notify) Can't navigate while jumping
[ 2014.07.18 02:52:44 ] (None) Jumping from Juunigaishi to Anttiri
[ 2014.07.18 02:52:59 ] (notify) Autopilot approaching target
[ 2014.07.18 02:53:32 ] (notify) Autopilot warping to Juunigaishi
[ 2014.07.18 02:53:33 ] (notify) Requested to dock at Anttiri V - Moon 6 - Spacelane Patrol Assembly Plant station

I thought it was evidence of a failed gank. Context required.

you fitted 4 stabs to a ship and got away from someone


Welldone go to the head of the class and sharpen the rubbers