Crime & Punishment

Small little bit of Yar, but it was fun for me. I had previously participated in a couple of corpmates heists of orcas from people who were misusing them as large floating cargo cans while they mined, but I had never actually found one of my own until one day I happened to come across with my covert scanning alt two hulks and a orca in a belt. The hulks were both occupied with loading the unpiloted orca with ore. I presumed that the hulks had the orca target locked so that i couldn't just go up and board it so I started thinking how I could do this. Well the last time I had done something like this we had bumped the afk hulk out of locking range of the orca, but that wouldnt work this time since there were two of them and once i started bumping one the other would know and that would be it. So i settled on a griffin to suicide jam both hulks. But of course my main was twenty jumps away and did not own a griffin. So I start moving over and while trying to find a griffin with proper mods all the while i'm sweating that they are going to finish up and leave. Ofc as I get within about 5 jumps or so, one of the hulks starts aligning and leaves. Damn I think thats it they are done. Sure enough the other hulks starts moving, but instead of heading to the orca and boarding, it aligns and warps out, leaving the unpiloted orca behind. I do a double take, board the orca, grab my covert scanner and just as i'm entering warp, the hulk pilots return at zero to the belt. I give a wave in local and im off. Grand theft orca. My favorite moment in eve.

I stopped trolling highsec anomolies after realising that all of the people I killed in them were under a week old.

Before that, I'd been running them suspect in the general area around Dodixie in an Enyo (a ship I have nearly perfect skills for now, but at the time had mostly 4s). I'd lock any other player in the site, and they often shot me. I'd pop them, then scram their pod and look at their character sheet to work out a fair ransom amount - only to see 'Member of Calle University for 1 day'.

Then I'd unscram them, and point them in the direction of one of the Advanced Military agents that they hadn't done so they could get a new Catalyst, and give them fitting advice and send them on their way.

This has a distinct "Dukes of Hazzard" feel to it. I can see that Hulk pilot throwing his space-hat to the deck and space-stomping on it as he rages.

I love bounties. It's like extra harm to the target, on top of what I've already done. And it's self-inflicted!

This is an old one from a few years ago but it remains a fav of mine.

So i killed a covetor with pod in a belt, OMS (very smart) and he convo's me so i thought i'd do a little role-playing.....


AshenShugar01 > yarrr?
Alonz'a > i know this is how the game is played
Alonz'a > but
AshenShugar01 > aye, it is that
Alonz'a > when you are a miner you mine and i can not find jespt anywere but in low sec
AshenShugar01 > ye be a-mining in Olde Man star, that be a very bad idear me 'Earty
Alonz'a > so that means i will have to go back and back because
AshenShugar01 > ye should try down in Molden Heath, i a-swear i a saw some Jaspet tharrr
Alonz'a > thats out of my place
Alonz'a > to be there
AshenShugar01 > shiver me timbers i think it was in hi sec too me 'earty
Alonz'a > so were i was is in place so i will be back and back get your booms ready
AshenShugar01 > well that be all fine with me there you olde salty dog, but i must feel free to warn ye of danger, there be pirates in those waters numbering many
AshenShugar01 > yarrrrr that is the case aye
AshenShugar01 > they will send ye straight to davey jones locker i tells ye
Alonz'a > you dont get it its space and anybody can go were thay wont
AshenShugar01 > that be the truth
Alonz'a > so why do peps think that you should take space from other and keep it for your self i bet you dont even mine.
AshenShugar01 > nay i never mine, I am a pirate aye
Alonz'a > will that would be the case
Alonz'a > so tell me what do you get out of it then i am in a ship that is far below you and u blow me up like it's nothing.
AshenShugar01 > it aint aboot space or about who's nailed to the mizzen mast, it be about plunder and murder. We pirates a-like the simple things in life
AshenShugar01 > aye that we do
Alonz'a > ok then ask your self this go find a big fight and some one who could fight back and kick your but.
AshenShugar01 > I mostly do thar kickin' and keel haulen there Alonz'arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Alonz'a > i cant belive you typed this and call your self a pirate ? (Revelations 6:8) (I have it in my bio)
AshenShugar01 > I be sorry thar, me rrrrrrrrrrrrrr sorta trailed off after that there sentence, aye it did
Alonz'a > Alonz'a > i cant believe you typed this and call your self a pirate ? (Revelations 6:8)
AshenShugar01 > do ye realize ye just repeated yourself thar?
Alonz'a > so you could see it again
AshenShugar01 > aye i did see it tharrrrr
Alonz'a > ? why do you call your self SEXUAL DEVIANT SOLDIER. ? (This was Heretics title for me at the time)
AshenShugar01 > what u believe or donna believe aint a problem that thar concerns me aye
Alonz'a > I KNOW THIS
Alonz'a > IS'T A GAME
AshenShugar01 > aye that it be that it be
Alonz'a > where r u so i can blow you up
AshenShugar01 > I be in a tall masted ship sailing the seven seas (From memory i was in a hookbill and he brought a BC)
AshenShugar01 > where be thee?
Alonz'a > LOL
AshenShugar01 > aye, will ye look at that tharrr it rhymes it does
Alonz'a > i am here were r u
AshenShugar01 > i grow tired of thee thar victim, i am done with ye
AshenShugar01 > i thank ye for this there chat tho me 'earty
Alonz'a > then why you blow me up you could have let me live and let me tell other about you but if you blow me up then i cant say anything.
AshenShugar01 > and pray tell we meet again soon
Alonz'a > LOL
AshenShugar01 > fare thee well, and smooth sailing to ye
AshenShugar01 > yarrrrrrr
AshenShugar01 > o/



Its from like 2011 or something but reading this thread reminded me of it.

I just came back to this game after a few months , and decide to start easy with some AWOXing.

So I bait some marks and get a hook after about an hour, they let me in and I head to their home system. I talk with them a bit and find out that they are getting an orca for the first time in about an hour or so. Oh there very first orca! How cute! I took this as a sign that re-joining this games was the right thing to do....for me...not them...

So i spend sometime just ship spinning, pretending to be interested in what they were talking about as far as the future of the corp, (oh you guys will be a huge multi trill null corp one day...sure you will, let me help you out with that). Suddenly *DING* my moment arrives! The ceo starts talking about how the orca was just purchased and on route to home base*insert evil smile*.

I leave the station and position myself at the gate and wait a bit (my harby has xbox so I don't mind waiting). However something unexpected happens, the ceo starts saying that the orca is under attack. "What? I'm not attacking you guys yet?"

I check to see if they are at war, nope, another AWOXer? Yup. At this point I'm laughing my ass off at this and open a convo with the guy who beat me to my mark. We talk about how it's funny that we had the same mark, exchange stories about past ship popping, all the while he is trying to get the corp to give him half the price of the orca or he pops it. They are begging with him PLEASE SIR WE WON'T EVEN BE MAD IF YOU STOP JUST LEAVE US BE! He and I are laughing pretty hard at the things they were promising (We'll make you CEO, well get you the money, we'll let you stay in the corp!....really?)

He tells me to come into system but to stay off site incase he needs help, hey I respect that he beat me, so he can call some shots here. And a good thing he had me come out, he waited a little to long for the ransom and they had someone out repping the orca and his dps wasn't enough anymore. He asked if I would warp in and kindly supply the extra DPS needed at this time. I couldn't of said no to that.

In I warp, "BEHOLD THE MIGHTY POWER OF TWO INTERNET SPACE DICKS!!" And in about 10 seconds pop goes the orca

So this new friend of mine suggests, hey want to try again? Sure why not! We look around and find another mark and join up, only minutes after the orca kill(seriously people check the history). So this one turns interesting right away, our ceo is willing to fly our stuff to their home base in his rusty old Fenrir. Oh boy! So my friend sends outs out a fake contract, saying that it's plex, shirts, and **** that he is too afraid to undock with in anything small. Contract gets accepted, Wow really? This guy is falling for this obvious trap? Alright, now any bad feeling I had are gone (spoiler- I didn't have any to begin with so I went negative)

So now my friend and I are waiting on gate, Fen jumps in, BEGIN THE ASSULT! Trapped, in hull,can't move, and we are demanding 600mil ransom. Oh you have to get on your alt to give us the money? Oh it will take 30 minutes for you to log on to your alt? Ok let me just wait for you to do th- pop goes the Fenrir

Not bad for a first day back if I do say so myself.

More to come? Probs. (Next time chat logs too)

This was fun the first time guy.

see, rather than moaning you killed stuff. Wish everyone would lol

As this is the PIRATE STORY thread, I'd appreciate some pirate stories ... I enjoy reading the "I killed stuff" stories nontheless and suggest hereby to CCP to make up an official WARTIME STORY thread, where capsuleers sit by the fire and tell about wardecs and the like.

Cheers

I'm getting bored with industry, and this thread has set me down a dark path. Something in my gut tells me that I'll soon be roaming the stars under a black flag of my own, making more stories to add to this thread. The galaxy will soon know the fury of Hyperion Hendricks! Yarr!