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Crime & Punishment

 
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The Pirate Story Thread

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Praxis Ginimic
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#721 - 2013-06-14 19:15:06 UTC
Relego wrote:
So, I've been considering trying again to get into this game, and this damn board made it happen. Unfortunately, I've read very little of patch notes, and, after flipping a couple of cans, seem to have... uhm... fans.

So, how's an honest thief to make a living?


In low sec. Explo sites don't have rats anymore so taking advantage of cov-ops frigs is easier than ever
ShahFluffers
Ice Fire Warriors
#722 - 2013-06-16 04:33:56 UTC  |  Edited by: ShahFluffers
This one is pretty old (the killmail is buried somewhere in my long history) and not a "true" pirate story (because it was a valid target)... only reason I'm posting it is because I remembered recently it and it's too good not to tell.
______________

I was sitting in a static low-sec anomaly cloaked up in my Pilgrim waiting for an Amarr militia guy (this guy often ninja'd the faction rats). While fiddling with my skill que (out of boredom) I lazily hit 360 degree D-scan again... and an Abaddon popped up.
Hurm. Nothing that big swings by unless it's friendly. Oh well... back to look a- WHOA!!! War Target Abaddon in!!!!

Now just for reference... Pandemic Legion often operates in my area (Amamake is only 4 or 5 systems away) so an Abaddon that is all by itself reeks of "trap" (either it'll cyno in doom from another region or solo me with some kind of "special snowflake" fit).

I say "**** it" and begin moving in under cloak. I have more than enough money to buy a new Pilgrim I figure... hell... it'll give me an excuse to buy another recon that's more useful. However I have not entirely thrown caution to the wind.
"Guys... any movement out where you are?" I ask (most of my friends are spread about the warzone).
"Nope... all quiet here."
"Nothing is moving in their 'fortress.'"
"I got nothing."

One last check as I cross the 10km threshhold. I manually view the Abaddon to try to see what weapons it has fitted. "Da fuq? Tech 1 Tachyon lasers? Ohhhh... I see now..." I whisper to myself as I make the most fiendish smile across my face. At this point I was 7500m from the Abaddon and the battleship had come to a dead stop (for whatever reason).

See... this guy wasn't the one I was after. And a quick glance at his character sheet showed that he had just joined militia 3 days ago.
Can you see where this is going?

I purposefully decloak prematurely and overload the afterburner. BUMP!! 1... 2... 3... 4... *click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click**click* DAT TARGET BUTTAN!!!!!

LOCKED!!!!!! Tracking disrupt... throw all ze neuts on... orbit at 500... drones out... KEEEEEL HIM MY MINIONS!!!!! Flecks of spittle appear on my moniter.
The Abaddon starts to lock me up... but it doesn't concern me. I read him in local chat saying "turbo boost activated! Die pirate!"
I become amused as I see his shields rep by noticeable, but not high enough amounts. None of his guns are hitting me. Shields gone... now his armor is repairing a little bit as I chew through it. I feel a pang of pity somewhere in the back of my black heart. I look back at local chat. "Well ****... this isn't good" he remarks.

After 30 or so seconds he is capped out. Nothing is repping and most of his guns have stopped firing. He NOW decides to launch his drones against me... a potpourri of various Tech 1 things that barely scratch my shield. I ignore them.

Into structure... almost there... aaaaaaaaaaaand... POOF!!!!
I now realize I had tunnel vision and didn't notice that a friendly appeared sometime during the battle (which wasn't really a battle when you think about it).

I check D-scan and local to make sure there are no hostiles inbound and quickly scoop loot. Ewwwwww... all this Tech 1 crap. And skillbooks? Huh?

The killmail was precious. Long range guns... purple crystals... shield booster... reactor controls... armor repair... no damage control... and his cargohold was filled with the contents of a newbie's hanger.

Poor sob.

I sent him a mail telling him what he did wrong and gave him a proper PvP Abaddon fit. I was promptly given the finger and some "strong words" in return.

I then checked his killboard... apparently some people never learn. Turns out his "special" Abaddon was not so special... others like it filled his losses.

edit: found the killmail! http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=12599374

How did you Veterans start?
Gotta Hairball
Doomheim
#723 - 2013-06-17 11:22:11 UTC
CatreX Nolen wrote:
Must admitt, Kane's stories make me giggle.


I don't have a story to tell here yet, but after reading all of these, I'm sold. My professional track has just been decided. Thank you, Kane especially, for all your stories! I'm so looking forward to my first kill mail! Pirate

I'm not saying you did it, I'm just saying I'm blaming you.
Relego
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#724 - 2013-06-17 19:14:43 UTC
So, there I was, trying to get some guy to buy a (totally cheap) mining permit, and, having confiscated and destroyed a fair amount of contraband ore already, he got someone to come try and kill me.

Sadly...

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=19892997#mail

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os5TXyJlEMc
Praxis Ginimic
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#725 - 2013-06-17 19:25:54 UTC
Lol. Wtf was the cloak for? Carebears
Relego
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#726 - 2013-06-17 19:32:59 UTC  |  Edited by: Relego
Praxis Ginimic wrote:
Lol. Wtf was the cloak for? Carebears


The "Attacking frig with blasters without web" thing was what really made it. And then, when my newb buddy (150k-ish SP, the Caracal) shows, the clown attacks him in response to yellowbox while my buddy was messing around with safeties.

He was already losing to my Pick on Miner fit Kessy, Concord made it way shorter.

Of course, me calling my buddy a newb is disingenuous, I have a whopping 6.2m SP, even though my account is old, I've never managed to play for an extended period. This time may be different.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os5TXyJlEMc
Praxis Ginimic
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#727 - 2013-06-19 10:18:13 UTC  |  Edited by: Praxis Ginimic
1 year & 1 day in. Officially not a noob for a whole day and I made sure that it showed.

I got my first ransom today! It was surprisingly anti-climactic and not at all dramatic. Although it was the easiest 40mil I ever made it wasn't nearly as fun as I had imagined it.

I planned on giving the guy the space balls count down

10
9
8
6
Just kidding
5
4... and so on

But just as fast as I had laid sown my demands he just said "fair enough" and sent the ISK.
I thought right away that I should've ask for more and next time I will but it took all of me not forcibly pry open his cargo bay and see what was worth so much. Unfortunately cooler minds prevailed and I figured that a rep of one whom honors ransoms might be worth more in the long run than a bpc (or whatever) that might not drop anyway.

In either case I have officially earned the following. YARR Twisted
Relego
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#728 - 2013-06-20 18:39:55 UTC  |  Edited by: Relego
So, no tears, no stellar ransom, but entertainment nonetheless! Since some guy decided to bounty me for cleaning up his derelict minerals, I decided that turning that, combined with carebear greed to my advantage could help. "Hey, come duel me, blow me up, and we'll split this stupid bounty so people stop calling me out!"

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=19915992

He apparently knew it was a trap, which explains dying anyways.

Edit: In an unrelated note, my best tears are actually from someone who DID blow me up. They're mad that I won't let it happen again after getting jumped by a Corax, a Moa, and a Logi Osprey because I was being lazy and not using proper PvP practices in hisec.

Quote:


Relego > If I understood that correctly, I have the same relationship with learning as you do with communicating.
Relego > Doesn't happen.
Guy > i see you blink ih kill you
Relego > I'd ask "you and what fleet", but I've met the three of you already, and feel no need to allow myself to be swarmed, so I'll just avoid lazy mistakes and not be caught by the likes of you again.
Relego > Feel free to try, though. Might I suggest combat scanners? I usually spend some time in space before bouncing to station, just in case people want to play.
Guy > thi is Team Play Learn eve Play
Relego > I'm not arguing that gang work is legit, I'm suggesting that it would be silly to get lazy and let you and your friends team up on me.
Relego > So, I won't, so have fun chasing dust.
Guy > you cry at your mummy from
Relego > Again, with the "not communicating" thing.
Relego > Habla Espanol?
Guy > what is your country is not broke
Other Guy > He is from Viet Nam I think.
Relego > I give up. Google translate doesn't work on "dumbass", so I can't tell what he's saying.
Guy > Này thằng khốn quái mẹ của bạn (NSFW if you translate)
Relego > Ah, see, that one it translated.
Relego > And usually that caliber of profanity involves having lost an argument.
Relego > I rest my case.
Guy > your delete your noob acount is better
Spammer edited out.
Relego > No, really, go back to letting me use google translate.
Relego > It's smarter than you.
Guy > pls blink Need more Kills
Relego > If you want kills, don't suck when I *am* blinking. Since I know it'll be 2 or 3 vs 1, I'm not doing freebies.
Relego > You can either earn it, or live with it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os5TXyJlEMc
Yakima DWB
Baited Sting
#729 - 2013-06-27 07:01:09 UTC
Note, not piracy. But i hope you enjoy reading my battle report from tonight.
To get some of our newest members some pvp experience, I set up something I'm known for, "yak's suicide fleet" for some fun and education.
Fleet consisted of:

Yakima DWB: Wolf
Lustly Bunny: Executioner
Richard Dickman: Condor
Daelin Stokeworth: Punisher
Bargost Apol: Thrasher

Starting in Teon, we jumped into Bosena, and with no gatecamp awaiting us, I started trying to teach Richard some gate mechanics, as well as how to escape from a gatecamp (with a little luck on your side). Once the rest of the fleet was ready to roam, we took our time, slowly going gate to gate, as I was hoping someone would come kill us and I could show the newer guys some of the mechanics of pvp. Explaining fleet commands as we went, we went a few more jumps into lowsec.

We were a jump or two away from a nullsec system, and I think some people were getting nervous as I had set nullsec as our destination. Before we could reach the destination, we jumped into a system that had cruisers and frigs set up to get rid of us. We scrambled to celestials, regrouped up on me as FC, and squad warped, and crashed back thru the gate. we regrouped at a celestial in the next system, and waited for a contingent of the group to follow us. once Lustly confirmed they were in warp looking for us, we went back thru into their system, and easily bypassed the 4 ships trying to camp us in.

I set a new lowsec destination, taking us close to a different nullsec entrance. With empty systems leading up to the null system, we pushed into nullsec. We got back to 0 on gate, and we sat there while I tried to find a fitting destination bottleneck system for us to blow up into pretty pixels. While I was looking for a new destination and linking it for the fleet, a Talos jumped into us. I got excited, told everyone to approach the Talos and orbit him at 500. Then gave the order to engage. He targeted the Thrasher first, and popped it with ease. He then targeted my Wolf, and started trying to track me as I orbited at 500 and ate his shields. I called to engage his drones, and as they were eating away at my ship, they started dropping. I was at 70% structure when the drone threat was handled, and we went to work on the Talos' armor. as he was slowly melting to our small weapons, a Tornado warped in (AC fit) at what I assume was within his falloff, about 35-40km. As the Talos finally popped, Lustly and I were telling the rest of the fleet to focus on the tornado. We started eating away at him, as he finally popped my Wolf. As a pod, I warped off, and Lustly saved the day and started FCing, while I tried to just bounce in system to still get to whore on the unlikely, but possible killmail.
As the Tornado was finally close to dropping into structure, a RF Firetail showed up on grid, intent to putting an end to Lustly's Executioner. Soon after, the Talos pilot returned in a Rupture, ready for more fight.

Lustly kept fleet DPS on the tornado until it popped, warped the fleet to a celestial, and warped fleet back to gate and crashed thru, everyone setting their desto to Teon, and making best time.

Killmails:
Talos: http://www.interstellarconvicts.killmai ... d=18434232
Tornado: http://www.interstellarconvicts.killmai ... d=18434276

Lossmails:
Thrasher: http://www.interstellarconvicts.killmai ... d=18434233
Wolf: http://www.interstellarconvicts.killmai ... d=18434256

Fleet was intended to suicide, and just hope for maybe a killmail to marvel at. Instead, we not only had a ton of fun, but got some awesome kills out of it as well. My ONLY regret, one of our new members lost his thrasher before he had a lock on the Talos, therefor dying before getting on the killmail. Hopefully next time we get him a kill. Thanks for the fun guys, and I hope we have another frig roam into nullsec soon, ad next time I hope to get a kill and die so we don't have to fly all the way home
Samoth Egnoled
Caldari Provisions
#730 - 2013-06-27 07:46:58 UTC
Not Yarr, but an interesting story Yak.

Well played.
Yakima DWB
Baited Sting
#731 - 2013-06-27 17:13:31 UTC
The miners and new guys wanted PvP, and happily got it. I think they want me to help them gank an orca next... piracy may just rule the day with these guys :)
Praxis Ginimic
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#732 - 2013-06-27 17:19:47 UTC  |  Edited by: Praxis Ginimic
Miners ganking an orca? You sir have the perfect safari crew on your hands.

You should have one of them set up a bait barge.
Samoth Egnoled
Caldari Provisions
#733 - 2013-06-28 06:56:02 UTC
Praxis....

You have just reminded me, I've not made a Safari character in far too long Twisted

*Wanders off to find his Safari Hat
Caydon Maulerant
Universal Proprietary
#734 - 2013-06-28 23:34:05 UTC
This is my first time posting in here but I've been reading C&P for a while now and it's pretty much the reason I switched from mining/mission running to pvp/piracy. Stories like every single one in this thread, especially Cannibal Kane's made me realize how fun this game can actually be.

So anyway, I usually only get a line or 2 of moderate tears from people if any. Today I got a funny enough story to put on here. I was flying through FW space looking for something to shoot and came across an incursus on dscan. The ship was named "stabbed and will run" or something like that. I engaged in my harpy and sure enough, it was true. Chased him around the system a few times then gave up on it to look for a different target. Someone in local popped him in a thorax and he got mad.


[22:49:12] Victim > **** you Caydon Maulerant
[22:49:22] Caydon Maulerant > lol
[22:49:36] Caydon Maulerant > gonna lose a lot of damage putting stabs on an incursus..
[22:49:54] Victim > i dont have guns
[22:50:02] Victim > i dont need them
[22:50:15] Caydon Maulerant > well that's a terrible thing to do to that ship
[22:50:18] Victim > you guys waste your time
[22:50:42] Victim > dont waste your time with me my ship cost less then 1 mil
[22:50:50] Victim > your ammo cost more
[22:51:28] Caydon Maulerant > probably true.. so what do you use your incursus for?
[22:51:37] Victim > farming
[22:51:59] Caydon Maulerant > I see... hoe and seeds in the highs?
[22:57:00] Victim > lol
[22:57:17] Victim > you need that killmail right? xDF
[22:57:33] Victim > is it the only one you can get?
[22:57:51] Caydon Maulerant > lol yup
[22:57:57] Victim > you are one of the poorest individuals in eve
[22:58:21] Caydon Maulerant > but I have fun playing the game. and in the end that's what it's all about right?
[22:58:52] Victim > yeah , but now i have the fun to show everybody the killmail
[22:59:17] Victim > averybody will laugh at you
[22:59:25] Caydon Maulerant > lol what killmail? you won't fight
[22:59:54] Victim > the fact that you fit 3 scrams in your thorax makes it funny
[22:59:54] Caydon Maulerant > not too worried about everyone laughing. I go through ships like they're candy. probably why I'm poor. lol
[23:00:02] Local Guy 1 > Kill: Aurora Adulin (Incursus)
[23:00:04] Caydon Maulerant > I'm not in a thorax
[23:00:13] Caydon Maulerant > nice you caught him!
[23:00:28] Local Guy 2 > Good job, Schlitzer Egge \o/
[23:00:36] Victim > xD
[23:00:40] Caydon Maulerant > I would fit more scrams but I need every slot I can get
[23:00:42] Victim > you guys are gtreat
[23:01:24] Victim > i hope my t1 armorplate reinburse your ammo xD
[23:01:48] Caydon Maulerant > for a pvper, the cost really doesn't matter. it's the hunt and the kill
[23:02:04] Victim > a "pvp"er
[23:02:06] Caydon Maulerant > and you're very hurt about your 1m loss.. go buy another one and put damage mods on it instead of stabs
[23:02:08] Victim > yeah right
[23:02:19] Caydon Maulerant > then shoot ships instead of crying. lol
[23:02:38] Caydon Maulerant > when you lose one, buy 5 more. much more fun
[23:03:11] Victim > this is not the only account i have ..but the funnyest now=)
[23:03:33] Victim > baaaad pirates
[23:03:35] Caydon Maulerant > I still don't get it..
[23:03:49] Caydon Maulerant > never claimed to be good. XD
[23:04:40] Victim > but still killing a useles target
[23:04:51] Victim > and dont work on your skills
[23:05:01] Local Guy 2 > More skills than you fitting stabs.
[23:05:03] Caydon Maulerant > targets in low sec are all valid..
[23:05:07] Victim > pretty bad habit
[23:05:16] Caydon Maulerant > I don't understand why all the tears..?
[23:05:41] Victim > i only have tears for you brah
[23:06:01] Caydon Maulerant > and everyone in local
[23:06:37] Victim > as a pirate you need to kil valuable targets
[23:06:40] Caydon Maulerant > use the billions you make from fw and buy a handful of frigates.. or if you're so concerned about losing your ship, then stay in high sec.
[23:06:49] Caydon Maulerant > like this? http://unpt.eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=18448486
[23:07:06] Victim > not unarmed frigates worth less than a mil
[23:07:19] Victim > yeah somethink like this
[23:07:27] Caydon Maulerant > a frigate in fw is going to get blown up.
[23:07:33] Victim > thats whats up
[23:08:01] Victim > as a pirate you need to have hounor too
[23:08:07] Caydon Maulerant > who said that??
[23:08:23] Caydon Maulerant > the term pirate is pretty much all about not having honor XD
[23:08:35] Local Guy 3 > aren't pirates known for havin no honour atall ?
[23:08:44] Local Guy 3 > thats the whole pirate 'thing'
[23:08:46] Victim > no you are terebly wrong
[23:09:01] Caydon Maulerant > you're not making much sense. how high are you
[23:09:44] Local Guy 3 > i wish i was high, its friday night ands i got no weeds :9
[23:10:04] Local Guy 3 > damn ppl and thei won lives!
[23:10:04] Caydon Maulerant > lol
[23:10:13] Local Guy 3 > their own*
[23:10:14] Victim > as hell, but the fact that i am a oooooold pirate .....
[23:10:27] Victim > makes me legal
[23:10:34] Victim > you now?
[23:10:40] Victim > **** you now
[23:10:47] Victim > i need to talk
[23:11:07] Local Guy 3 > ummm...
[23:11:12] Local Guy 3 > sense plz..
[23:11:16] Local Guy 3 > can i has some plz
Bahamut0503 Andedare
Dutch Legions
Solyaris Chtonium
#735 - 2013-06-29 10:55:41 UTC
So we scan down a Talos in a belt. Me and my buddy are flying a vexor and a thorax. This is what happend

http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=18459589



Channel ID: (('solarsystemid2', 30045313),)
Channel Name: Local
Listener: Bahamut0503 Andedare
Session started: 2013.06.28 20:22:09

[ 2013.06.28 20:43:05 ] EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Okagaiken
[ 2013.06.28 20:46:07 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > gf
[ 2013.06.28 20:46:30 ] Jugg er'Naut > **** yourself ******
[ 2013.06.28 20:46:48 ] Jugg er'Naut > I hope you and your mother die in a car wreck and your children are all deformed
[ 2013.06.28 20:47:08 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > oo please keep the tears comming :P
[ 2013.06.28 20:47:11 ] Niche Abre-Kai > :+
[ 2013.06.28 20:47:14 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > u mad bro?
[ 2013.06.28 20:47:22 ] Jugg er'Naut > except you wont have any children because gays cant physically do that.
[ 2013.06.28 20:47:31 ] Niche Abre-Kai > http://25.media.tumblr.com/515ddae621d179c0cc36cfca271ce5f2/tumblr_mmp6ejuKTJ1rf8uhqo1_400.gif
[ 2013.06.28 20:47:33 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > dude u are mad :P
[ 2013.06.28 20:47:44 ] Jugg er'Naut > Yeah, Im mad
[ 2013.06.28 20:47:48 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > good
[ 2013.06.28 20:47:54 ] Jugg er'Naut > meh
[ 2013.06.28 20:47:54 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > mission accomplished
[ 2013.06.28 20:48:09 ] Jugg er'Naut > I'll get over it... you'll still like dudes though. Cant get over that
[ 2013.06.28 20:48:11 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > always knew u guys where carebears
[ 2013.06.28 20:48:13 ] Niche Abre-Kai > say hi to your mother for me when you get home dude
[ 2013.06.28 20:48:26 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > Kill: Jugg er'Naut (Talos)
[ 2013.06.28 20:48:30 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > whoops
[ 2013.06.28 20:48:30 ] Jugg er'Naut > I will when I get off of yours
[ 2013.06.28 20:48:45 ] Niche Abre-Kai > your tears
[ 2013.06.28 20:48:49 ] Niche Abre-Kai > then feed me
[ 2013.06.28 20:48:51 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > are priceless
[ 2013.06.28 20:49:11 ] Jugg er'Naut > Oh Im not crying.
[ 2013.06.28 20:49:22 ] Niche Abre-Kai > seems like it to me
[ 2013.06.28 20:49:28 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > Jugg er'Naut > I hope you and your mother die in a car wreck and your children are all deformed
[ 2013.06.28 20:49:31 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > looks like it
[ 2013.06.28 20:49:36 ] Jugg er'Naut > Well, let me explain it.
[ 2013.06.28 20:49:56 ] Jugg er'Naut > Crying is what gays do when something bad happens... i.e. you
[ 2013.06.28 20:50:01 ] Jugg er'Naut > Im get upset
[ 2013.06.28 20:50:04 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > o really
[ 2013.06.28 20:50:11 ] Jugg er'Naut > Yeah
[ 2013.06.28 20:50:11 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > u still mad bro?
[ 2013.06.28 20:50:15 ] Jugg er'Naut > Nah
[ 2013.06.28 20:50:23 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > then stop carebearing XD
[ 2013.06.28 20:50:25 ] Jugg er'Naut > Im over it... but like I said your still gay
[ 2013.06.28 20:50:29 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > haha
[ 2013.06.28 20:50:31 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > sure man
[ 2013.06.28 20:50:35 ] Jugg er'Naut > I dont know what carebearing is
[ 2013.06.28 20:50:48 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > cus u just started playing eve?
[ 2013.06.28 20:50:53 ] Jugg er'Naut > Well at least you will admit it now
[ 2013.06.28 20:50:59 ] Niche Abre-Kai > stop with the homophobia mate, it doesn't make you look hard, just narrow minded and stupid
[ 2013.06.28 20:51:10 ] Jugg er'Naut > HAHA
[ 2013.06.28 20:51:16 ] Jugg er'Naut > I dont care what it makes me look like
[ 2013.06.28 20:51:30 ] Jugg er'Naut > And Im not a homophobe. Im not scared of you.
[ 2013.06.28 20:51:45 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > dude
[ 2013.06.28 20:51:49 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > u are forum material
[ 2013.06.28 20:51:54 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > this is going online :P
[ 2013.06.28 20:52:15 ] Jugg er'Naut > Im not on the forums ever.
[ 2013.06.28 20:52:26 ] Niche Abre-Kai > And now we understand why
[ 2013.06.28 20:52:33 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > you will be if i put this convo and killmail online
[ 2013.06.28 20:52:42 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > u wouldn't be the first
[ 2013.06.28 20:52:47 ] Jugg er'Naut > OOoooooo
[ 2013.06.28 20:52:49 ] Jugg er'Naut > So what?
[ 2013.06.28 20:52:54 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > just for laughs :P
[ 2013.06.28 20:53:20 ] Jugg er'Naut > Cool and then you can sit around and laugh about something I would even take the time to look at... good job
[ 2013.06.28 20:53:25 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > lol
[ 2013.06.28 20:53:30 ] Jugg er'Naut > Have fun with that.
[ 2013.06.28 20:53:34 ] Bahamut0503 Andedare > will do

Cheers

Baha
o7
Zappity
New Eden Tank Testing Services
#736 - 2013-06-29 11:38:40 UTC
[ 2013.06.28 20:49:11 ] Jugg er'Naut > Oh Im not crying.

Wow... Definitely forum material. All that for 160m.

Zappity's Adventures for a taste of lowsec and nullsec.
Relego
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#737 - 2013-06-29 14:13:39 UTC
He sounds a little bit mad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os5TXyJlEMc
Amarrie nu'Kahn
The Lagrangian Mechanics
#738 - 2013-06-30 04:55:39 UTC
Caydon Maulerant wrote:
This is my first time posting in here but I've been reading C&P for a while now and it's pretty much the reason I switched from mining/mission running to pvp/piracy. Stories like every single one in this thread, especially Cannibal Kane's made me realize how fun this game can actually be.

So anyway, I usually only get a line or 2 of moderate tears from people if any. Today I got a funny enough story to put on here. I was flying through FW space looking for something to shoot and came across an incursus on dscan. The ship was named "stabbed and will run" or something like that. I engaged in my harpy and sure enough, it was true. Chased him around the system a few times then gave up on it to look for a different target. Someone in local popped him in a thorax and he got mad.


[22:49:12] Victim > **** you Caydon Maulerant
[22:49:22] Caydon Maulerant > lol
[22:49:36] Caydon Maulerant > gonna lose a lot of damage putting stabs on an incursus..
[22:49:54] Victim > i dont have guns
[22:50:02] Victim > i dont need them
[22:50:15] Caydon Maulerant > well that's a terrible thing to do to that ship
[22:50:18] Victim > you guys waste your time
[22:50:42] Victim > dont waste your time with me my ship cost less then 1 mil
[22:50:50] Victim > your ammo cost more
[22:51:28] Caydon Maulerant > probably true.. so what do you use your incursus for?
[22:51:37] Victim > farming
[22:51:59] Caydon Maulerant > I see... hoe and seeds in the highs?
[22:57:00] Victim > lol
[22:57:17] Victim > you need that killmail right? xDF
[22:57:33] Victim > is it the only one you can get?
[22:57:51] Caydon Maulerant > lol yup
[22:57:57] Victim > you are one of the poorest individuals in eve
[22:58:21] Caydon Maulerant > but I have fun playing the game. and in the end that's what it's all about right?
[22:58:52] Victim > yeah , but now i have the fun to show everybody the killmail
[22:59:17] Victim > averybody will laugh at you
[22:59:25] Caydon Maulerant > lol what killmail? you won't fight
[22:59:54] Victim > the fact that you fit 3 scrams in your thorax makes it funny
[22:59:54] Caydon Maulerant > not too worried about everyone laughing. I go through ships like they're candy. probably why I'm poor. lol
[23:00:02] Local Guy 1 > Kill: Aurora Adulin (Incursus)
[23:00:04] Caydon Maulerant > I'm not in a thorax
[23:00:13] Caydon Maulerant > nice you caught him!
[23:00:28] Local Guy 2 > Good job, Schlitzer Egge \o/
[23:00:36] Victim > xD
[23:00:40] Caydon Maulerant > I would fit more scrams but I need every slot I can get
[23:00:42] Victim > you guys are gtreat
[23:01:24] Victim > i hope my t1 armorplate reinburse your ammo xD
[23:01:48] Caydon Maulerant > for a pvper, the cost really doesn't matter. it's the hunt and the kill
[23:02:04] Victim > a "pvp"er
[23:02:06] Caydon Maulerant > and you're very hurt about your 1m loss.. go buy another one and put damage mods on it instead of stabs
[23:02:08] Victim > yeah right
[23:02:19] Caydon Maulerant > then shoot ships instead of crying. lol
[23:02:38] Caydon Maulerant > when you lose one, buy 5 more. much more fun
[23:03:11] Victim > this is not the only account i have ..but the funnyest now=)
[23:03:33] Victim > baaaad pirates
[23:03:35] Caydon Maulerant > I still don't get it..
[23:03:49] Caydon Maulerant > never claimed to be good. XD
[23:04:40] Victim > but still killing a useles target
[23:04:51] Victim > and dont work on your skills
[23:05:01] Local Guy 2 > More skills than you fitting stabs.
[23:05:03] Caydon Maulerant > targets in low sec are all valid..
[23:05:07] Victim > pretty bad habit
[23:05:16] Caydon Maulerant > I don't understand why all the tears..?
[23:05:41] Victim > i only have tears for you brah
[23:06:01] Caydon Maulerant > and everyone in local
[23:06:37] Victim > as a pirate you need to kil valuable targets
[23:06:40] Caydon Maulerant > use the billions you make from fw and buy a handful of frigates.. or if you're so concerned about losing your ship, then stay in high sec.
[23:06:49] Caydon Maulerant > like this? http://unpt.eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=18448486
[23:07:06] Victim > not unarmed frigates worth less than a mil
[23:07:19] Victim > yeah somethink like this
[23:07:27] Caydon Maulerant > a frigate in fw is going to get blown up.
[23:07:33] Victim > thats whats up
[23:08:01] Victim > as a pirate you need to have hounor too
[23:08:07] Caydon Maulerant > who said that??
[23:08:23] Caydon Maulerant > the term pirate is pretty much all about not having honor XD
[23:08:35] Local Guy 3 > aren't pirates known for havin no honour atall ?
[23:08:44] Local Guy 3 > thats the whole pirate 'thing'
[23:08:46] Victim > no you are terebly wrong
[23:09:01] Caydon Maulerant > you're not making much sense. how high are you
[23:09:44] Local Guy 3 > i wish i was high, its friday night ands i got no weeds :9
[23:10:04] Local Guy 3 > damn ppl and thei won lives!
[23:10:04] Caydon Maulerant > lol
[23:10:13] Local Guy 3 > their own*
[23:10:14] Victim > as hell, but the fact that i am a oooooold pirate .....
[23:10:27] Victim > makes me legal
[23:10:34] Victim > you now?
[23:10:40] Victim > **** you now
[23:10:47] Victim > i need to talk
[23:11:07] Local Guy 3 > ummm...
[23:11:12] Local Guy 3 > sense plz..
[23:11:16] Local Guy 3 > can i has some plz




Nice raven kill!
Liam Inkuras
Furnace
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
#739 - 2013-07-02 22:38:18 UTC  |  Edited by: Liam Inkuras
So I had a nice little ransom this past week, and thought I'd write about it.

I was tooling around Verge Vendor in a Brutix looking for the ever-elusive "gudfight" (I later died in a fire to some Tuskers, so GF to them Big smile ).

I was in warp to the Meutrale gate in Hevrice when I noticed a Procurer on scan with a character in local's name on it. I began speed-scanning the belts as I warped past them, but found nothing. Then, to my pleasant surprise, we landed on the Meutrale gate together. He jumped through and I followed. Anxiously I decloaked and began slow boating towards the gate with my scram hot. He decloaked 31km away from me (rather far for a normal Gallente gate) and began to align out. As I reached overheated web range, he warped out... To a belt! I followed suit and landed right on him at the belt @ 0. I activated all the things and began deepee essing him down. When he hit hull I popped open a convo with him and set to work.

Now sadly I play on a Mac and don't know how to access chat logs, so I'll just paraphrase what happened.

I politely great him and state that he seems to be in quite the predicament, to which he agrees and says hello back (very pilot newbie). I request that he deposit 15million isk I to my wallet and I shall spare him his ship, to which he replies with "how do I know you won't kill me after I do?" I tell him that due to a pirate's honour I shall honour the ransom. He says a pirate's honour doesn't exist, to which I agree with and tell him that he has my word instead. After guiding him through the isk depositing procedure, and double check that the correct amount was sent, I deactivate my tackle and align out. Then, the most dumbfounding thing I could imagine at the time happened. He mosied on over to the nearest veldspar chunk, turned on his little blue bear-rays and happily began mining. Now I had half a mind to simply pop him there and call him an imbecile, but I instead politely suggested he go repair back in highsec. I received no reply, so I simply went on my way in a daze.

Did he really just get ransomed and then continue to mine?

I wear my goggles at night.

Any spelling/grammatical errors come complimentary with my typing on a phone
Reppyk
The Black Shell
#740 - 2013-07-03 00:05:54 UTC
The veldspar is strong with this one.

I AM SPACE CAPTAIN REPPYK. BEWARE.

Proud co-admin of frugu.net, a French fansite about EVE !