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Crime & Punishment

 
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The Pirate Story Thread

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Amyclas Amatin
SUNDERING
Goonswarm Federation
#661 - 2013-02-27 06:04:16 UTC
Amanda Rekenwhith wrote:
culo duro wrote:
Amanda Rekenwhith wrote:

-snip-


Your corp definently fits you.



About an hour later he messages me again calling me out for a duel. I guess he fitted his PvP frig.

Killmail

I kited him at 25km. He only got me to 80% shields before my railguns and drones ate him up. Now I have a 1mil bounty on my head. Not sure if space is safe for me anymore, but I'm willing to lose a few ships to find out.


That fit is just awful...

For more information on the New Order of High-Sec, please visit: http://www.minerbumping.com/

Remember that whenever you have a bad day in EVE, the correct reponse is "Thank you CCP, may I please have another?"
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen
Doomheim
#662 - 2013-03-04 14:51:27 UTC
A good hisec pirate gets CONCORDOKKEN! to do his work for him

Would you like to know more?
Leliana en Chalune
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#663 - 2013-03-05 03:31:42 UTC
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen wrote:
A good hisec pirate gets CONCORDOKKEN! to do his work for him


Your "faus paus" is a faux pas.
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen
Doomheim
#664 - 2013-03-07 14:34:54 UTC
Leliana en Chalune wrote:
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen wrote:
A good hisec pirate gets CONCORDOKKEN! to do his work for him


Your "faus paus" is a faux pas.


Your correcting someones spelling is a faux paus

Would you like to know more?
Haedonism Bot
People for the Ethical Treatment of Rogue Drones
#665 - 2013-03-07 14:40:35 UTC
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen wrote:
Leliana en Chalune wrote:
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen wrote:
A good hisec pirate gets CONCORDOKKEN! to do his work for him


Your "faus paus" is a faux pas.


Your correcting someones spelling is a faux paus


Getting closer: f-a-u-x space p-a-s.Big smile

www.everevolutionaryfront.blogspot.com

Vote Sabriz Adoudel and Tora Bushido for CSMX. Keep the Evil in EVE!
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen
Doomheim
#666 - 2013-03-08 14:44:19 UTC
Haedonism Bot wrote:
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen wrote:
Leliana en Chalune wrote:
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen wrote:
A good hisec pirate gets CONCORDOKKEN! to do his work for him


Your "faus paus" is a faux pas.


Your correcting someones spelling is a faux paus


Getting closer: f-a-u-x space p-a-s.Big smile


Oh sweet baby jesus on a bridge...

Would you like to know more?
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen
Doomheim
#667 - 2013-03-08 18:25:39 UTC
Jensaro Koraka
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#668 - 2013-03-10 10:58:57 UTC  |  Edited by: Jensaro Koraka
Just got my first kills since coming back to Eve!

First one I warp to a random planet at 70km trying to make a safe and land right on top of a pod. \o/ http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=19057723

Second one the FC spots a maelstrom at a planet and we warp in at different ranges. I got the lucky range and got him tackled. One of our ships got killed immediately and it was just me in my condor and a coercer left. He sent out combat drones, but we managed to kill them. Then he sent out ECM drones and I lost lock, but luckily the coercer managed to keep him tackled until we killed those too. He had two more combat drones left and we quickly got rid of them as soon as he launched them. We finally managed to bring him down when I was at 12% armor. http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=19058096

SP? Pfft! Who needs 'em?

"Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." -H.L. Mencken
Pannax Ni
Pinch n' Plex
#669 - 2013-03-10 22:48:25 UTC  |  Edited by: Pannax Ni
So, suicide ganks are done with the Catalyst.
This is a well known fact.
Why, I could just attune my Mackinaw tank to Kinetic & Thermic damage and afk Ice Harvest all day long!

http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=16745094

I have not lost my security status.
I've gained my freedom.
culo duro
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#670 - 2013-03-11 06:53:27 UTC
Jensaro Koraka wrote:
Just got my first kills since coming back to Eve!

First one I warp to a random planet at 70km trying to make a safe and land right on top of a pod. \o/ http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=19057723

Second one the FC spots a maelstrom at a planet and we warp in at different ranges. I got the lucky range and got him tackled. One of our ships got killed immediately and it was just me in my condor and a coercer left. He sent out combat drones, but we managed to kill them. Then he sent out ECM drones and I lost lock, but luckily the coercer managed to keep him tackled until we killed those too. He had two more combat drones left and we quickly got rid of them as soon as he launched them. We finally managed to bring him down when I was at 12% armor. http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=19058096

SP? Pfft! Who needs 'em?


lol @ the no booster maelstrom fit.

I've starting blogging http://www.epvpc.blogspot.com 
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen
Doomheim
#671 - 2013-03-14 14:26:02 UTC
Yarr! Hi Ho and a bottle of rum!

Would you like to know more?
Sabriz Adoudel
Move along there is nothing here
#672 - 2013-03-15 05:48:31 UTC
Pannax Ni wrote:
So, suicide ganks are done with the Catalyst.
This is a well known fact.
Why, I could just attune my Mackinaw tank to Kinetic & Thermic damage and afk Ice Harvest all day long!

http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=16745094

I have not lost my security status.
I've gained my freedom.



You would not have believed how loud I laughed when I saw that one in the minerbumping channel.



My story.

I'm looking for trouble in Decon (0.4 system 3 jumps from Dodixie). And I spot an Obvious Trap (tm). A Slepnir, orbiting the lowsec side of a low-high gate. Being in a Vexor myself, I feel like I'm out of my league and warp off. Curiously, the Slepnir does not follow me.

I look for trouble elsewhere in the system. No prey, but I do encounter two other predators - a Talos and a Rifter hunting together. I melt the Talos and the Rifter gets away, as does the Talos's pod.

I then get station repairs and check in on my Slepnir friend. Still no change. Could he be AFK or is this a really really sneaky trap? I decide to shoot him to find out - I am in a 40-50m fit after all, nothing I can't afford to lose. Crimewatch gives me a yellow card, and gate guns shoot at me, but I'm not scrammed or even locked back, and so I warp out to shed aggro then return and order my drones to melt the AFK Slepnir.

I scoop the loot and decide to teach this AFKer a lesson, shooting down his pod and earning a Crimewatch red card and more gate gun aggro. My eyes boggle when I see what I've just blown up.

The slepnir: http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=19038899. Nothing special, but my Vexor would never win a fair fight with that.
The pod: http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=19038898


I would have loved to have been able to ransom that pod, but I'll settle for a showoff killmail.

I support the New Order and CODE. alliance. www.minerbumping.com
Monnty
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#673 - 2013-03-15 10:17:59 UTC
This was originally in the Crime and Punishment forum but was suggested to stick it here as a look at a new pilots first kill

Three days ago my trial was due to expire and to be honest i wasn't intending on subbing.....

Until i decided to see what Low Sec had to offer. I went into a low sec system and hit the D-Scan and a retriever popped up, using my terrible scanner skills i managed to bumble my way to finding which belt he was in.

Now i have read alot about this side of the game and thought well a trial is to trial and warped to the belt. I warped in hit approach and activated the warp disruptor...nothing, i hit the disruptor again...nothing. All the time the retriever sat there drones buzzing around him, mining. One more attempt, before i realised the safety catch was on!!

Disengage the safety, hit disruptor ,retriever hooked.

I got into n orbit and hit the Autocannons initially trying to take down the drones. Then i realised that the drone damage was not quite what i was expecting and i might be able to take the barge before my own ship went pop.

Thankfully this turned out to be a correct assupmtion and he soon went pop, and a little pod sat where once a barge did. I seized the oppurtunity to trial anothr part off Eve the ransom, hooked the pod and convod the pilot asking for a small donation of 2million ISK.

"F**K OFF YOU ASSH**E"

Was his reply. I had initially told him he had thirty seconds and being an honourable guy i did ,then being a man of my words i helped expediate his journey to his home station.

I was not proud of the kill as such as it was just a mining barge with some drones that did attempt some form of fight, rather it was the choice words from the customer after i asked him for a small donation that hooked me.
Novakovic
Noctuna Invasion
#674 - 2013-03-16 09:50:44 UTC
After loosing Merlin after Merlin in fail pirate attempts and some FWing I finally got my first killTwisted

Jumped from Piekura to Mara for some action, and with me jumped another guy, I stayed cloaked after jumping an sure, there he was, in a Heron warping to 0 on a planet.

Quickly warp after to land right ontop off him, adrenalin starts pumping and lock, scramble and start my orbit and fire my guns.
Ships goes down and I manage to get a lock on the pod and scrambles it. Start a convo and ask for 25 mil, his response is to hold a sec, and I think I can give him 30 seconds as we are alone in system.

Then I see the message of him starting a selfdestruct... Cant let him leave in such a way and fire my guns.

Scoops the loot and start running between safespots to ware down the timer. Eventually jumping back to Piekura to ckeck KM and loot. Turns out the guy was only two weeks old, so I contract the remains back to him. Had a moment of bad conscience...

Get a convo from the guy and it turns out he is trying to get enough ISK for a plex and don't have the cash to pay2play...

https://zkillboard.com/character/92741931/
Monnty
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#675 - 2013-03-17 13:50:45 UTC  |  Edited by: Monnty
New players first footsteps

So i spot a guy in the system im intending on setting up in, hes only a month older than me in game time so i head out and start warping around hitting the D-Scan.

I get a hit on a drake and with some fine tuning (but still bumbling a bit) i narrow him down to a belt. Now i have done some reading and watching so im aware that theoretically i can do this (im in a slasher) but as for the practicalities, well, nothing ventured nothing gained.

I hit warp to 0 and land around 20Kms from him. I started towards him and very quickly i closed down the range enough to get a scram and a web on. Unfortunatly i ahd also attracted the attention of a belt rat that quickly came sniffing around.

Soon enough i was tight around the drake and begun firing the autocannons into him. Slowly....very...very...slowly his sheilds started to drop. Only now i started to notice i was starting to take some damage and it was creeping up.

A quick look at my speed told me i was caught on an asteroid some quick manual piloting and i was back on, all the time nibbling at the drake.

Now the belt rat was adding to the mix and my sheilds were again failing, "im gonna have to bail" i thought.

When up popped a private convo from the pilot himself.


[13:09:22] Roy Jonnes > ненадо
[13:09:25] Monnty > it was worth a go
[13:09:35] Roy Jonnes > no no
[13:09:37] Roy Jonnes > no war
[13:09:41] Roy Jonnes > plz
[13:09:48] Monnty > 10 mill
[13:09:58] Roy Jonnes > no PLZ
[13:10:17] Roy Jonnes > 10 mill
[13:10:25] Monnty > kk thankyou

And there it was my first Ransom.

I wonder if i had not of been slightly concerned at my failing sheilds and typed the first figure in my head, just how much i could of got away with .
Liam Inkuras
Furnace
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
#676 - 2013-03-18 03:30:55 UTC
Monnty wrote:
New players first footsteps

So i spot a guy in the system im intending on setting up in, hes only a month older than me in game time so i head out and start warping around hitting the D-Scan.

I get a hit on a drake and with some fine tuning (but still bumbling a bit) i narrow him down to a belt. Now i have done some reading and watching so im aware that theoretically i can do this (im in a slasher) but as for the practicalities, well, nothing ventured nothing gained.

I hit warp to 0 and land around 20Kms from him. I started towards him and very quickly i closed down the range enough to get a scram and a web on. Unfortunatly i ahd also attracted the attention of a belt rat that quickly came sniffing around.

Soon enough i was tight around the drake and begun firing the autocannons into him. Slowly....very...very...slowly his sheilds started to drop. Only now i started to notice i was starting to take some damage and it was creeping up.

A quick look at my speed told me i was caught on an asteroid some quick manual piloting and i was back on, all the time nibbling at the drake.

Now the belt rat was adding to the mix and my sheilds were again failing, "im gonna have to bail" i thought.

When up popped a private convo from the pilot himself.


[13:09:22] Roy Jonnes > ненадо
[13:09:25] Monnty > it was worth a go
[13:09:35] Roy Jonnes > no no
[13:09:37] Roy Jonnes > no war
[13:09:41] Roy Jonnes > plz
[13:09:48] Monnty > 10 mill
[13:09:58] Roy Jonnes > no PLZ
[13:10:17] Roy Jonnes > 10 mill
[13:10:25] Monnty > kk thankyou

And there it was my first Ransom.

I wonder if i had not of been slightly concerned at my failing sheilds and typed the first figure in my head, just how much i could of got away with .

The Pie is strong with this one. Better get on making that hauler alt Blink

I wear my goggles at night.

Any spelling/grammatical errors come complimentary with my typing on a phone
Sirrus Lysander
Intergalactic Space Maoris
#677 - 2013-03-18 04:55:16 UTC
culo duro wrote:
This isn't really a good story, but great tears.

*Crappy story*

There really are no tears there... you're reading into it too much.

culo duro wrote:

[19:56:56] Unknown relation to kill > WOOT 5 weeks till marmite goes back on sale for me!
[19:57:13] Unknown relation to kill > Im so excited. Its been our for over a year since the earthquake.


Your mystery man is a kiwi. Marmite = a yeast spread that has been out of stock for aaaages due to the plant where is was made getting damaged in the Christchurch earthquake.

I don't think he was referring to the old EVE corp Marmite at all....
Lina Drasselbaff
Doomheim
#678 - 2013-03-19 22:08:39 UTC  |  Edited by: Lina Drasselbaff
Not exactly a pirate story, but much anger.

This is from Faction Warfare militia chat where a bizarre number of people get massively worked up about others "stealing" loyalty points from completed plexes.

This guy lost a frigate worth around 25 mil and whatever loyalty points he would've gotten.

Names anonymized and irrelevant chat lines removed.

Mr Angry > I Killed Mr Angry's Ship IS AN AWOXER
Mr Angry > Kill: Mr Angry (Condor)
Chatter 1 > maybe you should stop trying to steal lp?
Mr Angry > ROFL he stole lp from me
Mr Angry > i didn't steal lp, he ******* awoxed me like a *****
Mr Angry > didn't even lock him or anything and he attacked
Chatter 1 > then that sucks
I Killed Mr Angry's Ship > yeah he came into plex when timer was about 30 secs
I Killed Mr Angry's Ship > Of course he didnt try to steal my lp =)
Chatter 1 > that sounds like what most nubs do
Chatter 1 > i kill them to
Mr Angry > rofl
Mr Angry > dude, I Killed Mr Angry's Ship already stole my lp, he's the theif
Chatter 2 > Mr Angry isn't a nub, he's a regular in most of the bash fleets.
Mr Angry > i have the chat log to prove it
Mr Angry > I Killed Mr Angry's Ship is a dirty piece of **** awoxer, kills friendlies
Chatter 1 > im not taking sides, just stating that i kill people that come into sites and try to steal
Mr Angry > i had 7 minutes left on my time when he came in, talked **** and stole my lp, i accidentally warp into his site, he doesn't even give me 2 seconds to leave he just awoxed me without warning
Mr Angry > So tired of russians.... bunch of honorless ******* backstabbers. Sincerely hope you get hit by a car or die slowly in a fire I Killed Mr Angry's Ship you awoxing, LP stealing little *****
Mr Angry > No skill ****** kills friendly frigs in his arbitrator
Chatter 3 > you mad bro?
Chatter 1 > ^
Mr Angry > Be little internet turds all you want, you troll me your name goes on the list of little d-bags i WILL lp steal from
Mr Angry > Meh, all i know is i write down names, and hunt people. Got location agents, so that little awoxing lp *** will regret it. probably much later than anytime soon, but hey revenge is a dish best served cold
Mr Angry > Anyone ever been to fanfest and see a fist fight?
Mr Angry > no i'm just asking about fanfst cause i'm curious if i'd get kicked out for knocking every dumb russian the **** out
Mr Angry > lol, I hold grudges and there hasn't been a single one i've missed yet. I waited 6 months one time, then located the guy i wanted once he'd moved to my territory and then i station camped him and killed him like 15+ times
Chatter 4 > Russians have feeling's too
Mr Angry > not the lp stealing awoxing ones
Mr Angry > they have small dicks, no skill and an insane drive to **** people off because of how pissed they are about their fail country and their fail lives
Mr Angry > makes me wonder what kind of people on the net figure that they never get mad about anything. just a bunch of zen masters ain't ya
Mr Angry > **** it, i'm going on my main to hunt the mouthy pricks
Zappity
New Eden Tank Testing Services
#679 - 2013-03-20 06:12:11 UTC
Wow. All that over a CONDOR.

Zappity's Adventures for a taste of lowsec and nullsec.
culo duro
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#680 - 2013-03-20 08:31:24 UTC
Zappity wrote:
Wow. All that over a CONDOR.


Possible Blingy Condor. lol

I've starting blogging http://www.epvpc.blogspot.com