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Why havent they contacted us?

Author
Atticus Fynch
#1 - 2011-12-27 02:12:16 UTC  |  Edited by: Atticus Fynch
If intelligent extraterrestrial life exists, there remains one question: Why havent they contacted us? This story may explain why?

Here’s the correct version, as published in Omni, 1990.


THEY'RE MADE OUT OF MEAT
by Terry Bisson


"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."

"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"

"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."

"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."

"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat."

"Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?"

"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."

"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."

"No brain?"

"Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you."

"So ... what does the thinking?"

"You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat."

"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"

"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?"

"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."

"Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."

"Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?"

"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual."

"We're supposed to talk to meat."

"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing."

"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"
"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

"I thought you just told me they used radio."

"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"

"Officially or unofficially?"

"Both."

"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."

"I was hoping you would say that."

"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"

"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"

"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."

"So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe."

"That's it."

"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?"

"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."

"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."

"And we marked the entire sector unoccupied."

"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"

"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."

"They always come around."

"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..."

[b]★★★Cargo Pilots Unite!!!★★★ https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=668132&#post668132[/b]

Alpheias
Tactical Farmers.
Pandemic Horde
#2 - 2011-12-27 02:21:36 UTC
Why? All because of you, I dare say.

Agent of Chaos, Sower of Discord.

Don't talk to me unless you are IQ verified and certified with three references from non-family members. Please have your certificate of authenticity on hand.

Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#3 - 2011-12-27 02:57:16 UTC
Hehe, meat

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny

VKhaun Vex
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#4 - 2011-12-27 03:09:47 UTC
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fermi_paradox
Quote:
The Fermi paradox (Fermi's paradox or Fermi-paradox) is the apparent contradiction between high estimates of the probability of the existence of extraterrestrial civilizations and the lack of evidence for, or contact with, such civilizations.




What is keeping intelligent life from contacting or reaching us?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Filter


Is it not developing biologically?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abiogenesis
It's basically the science of figuring out how to cleverly state we have no friggin clue how life originated. We can show how different physical parts come together like membranes, and that the replicating parts will replicate until they run out of material if you force them together, but an entire life form has no business being assembled accidentally. This is why we must send probes to other planets to find if there is life. We have no clue how rare or common it is to get this far.

Is it not evolving to care beyond it's own planet?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolution_of_human_intelligence
We have tons of life on our own that would never care to go to the stars. What caused human brain development to shoot past the point where everything else stopped? We speculate about problem solving and adaptation, but these things still had to evolve FIRST, and be reinforced by needs second, and of course so many other species have gone extinct rather than adapt anything at all.

Is fast space travel impossibly hard to master?

Is there some great disaster that occurs in space and wipes life out too frequently to allow time to overcome all the obstacles? Stars dying or just changing phases could be putting a time limit on their systems for example.

Charges Twilight fans with Ka-bar -Surfin's PlunderBunny LIIIIIIIIIIINNEEEEE PIIIEEEECCCCEEE!!!!!!! -Taedrin Using relativity to irrational numbers is smart -rodyas I no longer believe we landed on the moon. -Atticus Fynch

Atticus Fynch
#5 - 2011-12-27 03:22:15 UTC
It's not a popular idea but there is always the possibility that "life" is some incredible fluke and we happen to be here by some weird chance of chemistry. We just may be all alone.

This does lend itself to the idea that there is a "God" calling the shots.

[b]★★★Cargo Pilots Unite!!!★★★ https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=668132&#post668132[/b]

Alara IonStorm
#6 - 2011-12-27 03:32:02 UTC
I eat Meat.

Take that as you will.
Atticus Fynch
#7 - 2011-12-27 03:35:50 UTC
Alara IonStorm wrote:
I eat Meat.

Take that as you will.



Giggity. Blink

[b]★★★Cargo Pilots Unite!!!★★★ https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=668132&#post668132[/b]

VKhaun Vex
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#8 - 2011-12-27 03:38:03 UTC
Atticus Fynch wrote:
It's not a popular idea but there is always the possibility that "life" is some incredible fluke and we happen to be here by some weird chance of chemistry. We just may be all alone.

This does lend itself to the idea that there is a "God" calling the shots.



I agree with both.

Since you bring up God, I had a fun thought one day.

The classic line about the Bible... 'The word of God'. Half joking I Thought to myself "Then why are there people's names on the pages?" and answered myself with the concept of a prophet. The idea that God spoke to a person, or gifted them some knowledge.

Can you imagine if God tried to explain causing the big bang and the creation of life to someone in that time period?

It's neat to go back and read creation stories from various religions leaning on prophets, and speculate how that would go. How they would try to put it into words. How they could begin to tell it to others.

Charges Twilight fans with Ka-bar -Surfin's PlunderBunny LIIIIIIIIIIINNEEEEE PIIIEEEECCCCEEE!!!!!!! -Taedrin Using relativity to irrational numbers is smart -rodyas I no longer believe we landed on the moon. -Atticus Fynch

Alara IonStorm
#9 - 2011-12-27 03:39:08 UTC
Atticus Fynch wrote:
Alara IonStorm wrote:
I eat Meat.

Take that as you will.

Giggity. Blink

Boy are you going to be...

SurprisedBig smile
AlleyKat
The Unwanted.
#10 - 2011-12-27 03:56:58 UTC
Atticus Fynch wrote:
It's not a popular idea but there is always the possibility that "life" is some incredible fluke and we happen to be here by some weird chance of chemistry.


Nah.

Moe likely that all other intelligent life hasn't left the primordial soup yet, or, they blew each other up in an intergalactic war that took place 65 million years ago.

The final hull shot missed, and took out the dinosaurs.

Life in the universe is not 1 / ∞, and one should never forget that space + time = ∞

One should also never, ever forget the cheesecake principal.

Given enough time, even a partial vacuum will create a cheesecake as the elements will (at some point) come together, create life and intelligence, resulting in someone or thing baking a cheesecake.

It may take several iterations of life and intelligence within said vacuum, but there shall be cheesecake.

Be glad for the existence of cheesecake, it's yummy, and everything else is a distraction.

AK

This space for rent.

Sebastian LaFleur
Federal Defense Union
Gallente Federation
#11 - 2011-12-27 05:18:26 UTC
Cool story, bro. Kinda funny and sad at the same time. My meat is in trouble.

Expand consciousness. Travel without moving. 

Caleidascope
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
#12 - 2011-12-27 06:26:32 UTC
If you look at the location of our solar system in relation to the core of our galaxy, you will see that we live so far from the center that nobody has any interest to come out here.

A good analogy is this. The core is like a big city, lots of solar systems very close to each other, like apartments in apartment building. Then you move further out, the solar systems are further apart, like suburbs, everyone is close enough and have a little breathing room. Once you move further out, you get into the country, the solar systems are like farms picking out here and there, and there is a lot of empty space in between, that is Earth. Some intrepid explorer from the city might stumble on us, but the chances are that they never leave the city since there is lots of other people much closer.

Earth is a Rim world. The Rim is a dangerous place. Unexplored, uncharted and unimaginably huge.

Life is short and dinner time is chancy

Eat dessert first!

SpaceSquirrels
#13 - 2011-12-27 07:04:33 UTC
When you see hillbillies on the side of the road and hear banjos do you ******* stop? Hell no keep driving till you find a better gas station.
Nerath Naaris
Pink Winged Unicorns for Peace Love and Anarchy
#14 - 2011-12-27 09:45:49 UTC
Perhaps we are just a dream within a dream.

Je suis Paris // Köln // Brüssel // Orlando // Nice // Würzburg, München, Ansbach // Saint-Étienne-du-Rouvray

Je suis Berlin // Fort Lauderdale // London // St. Petersburg // Stockholm

Je suis [?]

Abrazzar
Vardaugas Family
#15 - 2011-12-27 13:04:34 UTC
Maybe intelligent life is not a sustainable state of life and merely shows up in geological time frame for a insignificant duration, only recognizable as a mass extinction event.

So intelligent life appearing at the same time with sufficient technological advancement to contact or even identify one another is increasingly rare on top of the general rarity of life supporting circumstances.
Louis deGuerre
The Dark Tribe
#16 - 2011-12-27 14:10:02 UTC  |  Edited by: Louis deGuerre
I read almost identical story by Isaac Asimov...my bet is he was first, being a genius and all.
Those aliens reproduced asexually and communicated with light and went hysterical when they found out about how we reproduce. Hilarious story actually.

EDIT : found it again

"What is This Thing Called Love?", written in 1961

included in "Nightfall and Other Stories", released in 1969

So I am not impressed by Terry Bisson (whispers "ripoff")
Indahmawar Fazmarai
#17 - 2011-12-27 14:21:04 UTC
Caleidascope wrote:
If you look at the location of our solar system in relation to the core of our galaxy, you will see that we live so far from the center that nobody has any interest to come out here.

A good analogy is this. The core is like a big city, lots of solar systems very close to each other, like apartments in apartment building. Then you move further out, the solar systems are further apart, like suburbs, everyone is close enough and have a little breathing room. Once you move further out, you get into the country, the solar systems are like farms picking out here and there, and there is a lot of empty space in between, that is Earth. Some intrepid explorer from the city might stumble on us, but the chances are that they never leave the city since there is lots of other people much closer.

Earth is a Rim world. The Rim is a dangerous place. Unexplored, uncharted and unimaginably huge.


Naeh, we are (mostly) harmless. And we taste bad.
FloppieTheBanjoClown
Arcana Imperii Ltd.
#18 - 2011-12-27 15:32:42 UTC
Caleidascope wrote:
If you look at the location of our solar system in relation to the core of our galaxy, you will see that we live so far from the center that nobody has any interest to come out here.

A good analogy is this. The core is like a big city, lots of solar systems very close to each other, like apartments in apartment building. Then you move further out, the solar systems are further apart, like suburbs, everyone is close enough and have a little breathing room. Once you move further out, you get into the country, the solar systems are like farms picking out here and there, and there is a lot of empty space in between, that is Earth. Some intrepid explorer from the city might stumble on us, but the chances are that they never leave the city since there is lots of other people much closer.

Earth is a Rim world. The Rim is a dangerous place. Unexplored, uncharted and unimaginably huge.


Your vision of how it works is tainted by years of science fiction.

I've heard it suggested by some scientist or another that the "core" is actually too densely populated with stars to sustain life. Gamma ray bursts, tidal forces, rogue planets, et cetera would all wreak havoc on developing life. Their assertion was that the outer arms of the galaxy are spread out enough that life would have the hundreds of millions of years necessary to evolve into a spacefaring race. If that's the case, expansion of colonies would be slow and limited to the "rim" of the galaxy, and we'd be trying to talk to each other across the entire span.

Also, there's concepts such as the idea of robotic probes being dispatched by various civilizations. There was a story I read years ago about a group of probes which had been damaged and basically set up a colony in our asteroid belt in order to survive. The premise was that there are three kinds of probes: explorers, seed ships, and hunters which will seek to destroy any other civilization they find. These probes watched as humanity developed space flight and explored the solar system, hoping that we'd find out before it was too late that we were endangered by our radio broadcasts. Ultimately we discovered an alien asteroid colony that was created by a seed ship and then destroyed by a hunter. When we realized what had happened and how, our radio broadcasts went silent and we effectively disappeared from the universe.

If that's the case, then no one has made contact because they're either dead, or hiding.

Founding member of the Belligerent Undesirables movement.

Atticus Fynch
#19 - 2011-12-27 15:39:40 UTC
FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote:
Caleidascope wrote:
If you look at the location of our solar system in relation to the core of our galaxy, you will see that we live so far from the center that nobody has any interest to come out here.

A good analogy is this. The core is like a big city, lots of solar systems very close to each other, like apartments in apartment building. Then you move further out, the solar systems are further apart, like suburbs, everyone is close enough and have a little breathing room. Once you move further out, you get into the country, the solar systems are like farms picking out here and there, and there is a lot of empty space in between, that is Earth. Some intrepid explorer from the city might stumble on us, but the chances are that they never leave the city since there is lots of other people much closer.

Earth is a Rim world. The Rim is a dangerous place. Unexplored, uncharted and unimaginably huge.


Your vision of how it works is tainted by years of science fiction.

I've heard it suggested by some scientist or another that the "core" is actually too densely populated with stars to sustain life. Gamma ray bursts, tidal forces, rogue planets, et cetera would all wreak havoc on developing life.



That was my understanding as well. Interstellar cataclysms (asteroid bombardments, high radiation levels, etc) would be too common at the core making the possibility of life developing very difficult. There would be a better chance of life developing in the quiet regions of the galaxy like the outer arms.

[b]★★★Cargo Pilots Unite!!!★★★ https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=668132&#post668132[/b]

Karak Terrel
Foundation for CODE and THE NEW ORDER
#20 - 2011-12-27 18:55:47 UTC
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