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Making friends in Eve Online

Author
Tremaine Holden
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#1 - 2016-11-29 20:29:56 UTC
I've actually never really had issues in games, or real life making friends but then there's Eve online.

Rewinding back to a few days ago..

A "newbro" hit me up while I was in the middle of a mission asking for help to complete his own. I normally would jump for the offer to help someone, I love helping people. Yet, I felt my adrenaline surge. The first thought process I had was asking myself is this a trap? I couldn't actually move forward with helping him cause I was so afraid I was going to get ganked or set-up that I just brushed him off, politely, and said I couldn't because I had to go soon (which in part was true, but it wasn't as immediate as I made it seem) and left chat.

I don't know what imprinted the selfish, self-preserving attitude I have towards this game. Going back to one of my earliest MMOs I've ever played, Tibia (circa. 2001), it was the same environment: risk vs reward, adrenaline fueling PvP, gankers, etc. Even in so, I had friends in that game too! Though, my best of friends played alongside me in real life so I guess that helped the trust issues part. I've played EVE for several years, off and on, but I've never been ganked or pod-killed by another player so I do not know why I feel that way, I guess its a natural defense. When you look at EVE you see a big universe, and you see these forum post about this kill mail and you read the comments, its a lot theres so many variables and there's tens of thousands of these kind of people -- its like damn, "that could've been me, y'know?" Don't get me wrong, I love PVP and the content it can generate. Warhammer AoR was my favorite MMO to date I literally PvP'd as soon as it was available to me and never saw a minute of PvE in that game. However in EVE my blueprints for my in game persona, and legacy is much different. PvP will be something I will certainly be looking into, just not right now as im currently focusing on building and conserving wealth.

Yet, this interaction, of the few I've ever had throughout my career in eve, I've found this one resonating within me negatively, and I think of it every now and then. I guess because right now im in the "phase" of building wealth independently via missions and exploration that I haven't had opportunities for player interaction.

I believe a lot of people will tell me to join a corporation, and truthfully that is very considerate advice. I feel many players have joined corporations to remedy the need or desire to "belong", but I feel opposite to that. I'm not a top notch pilot, yet, but I would like to leave that open so when the time comes I can align my goals and ambitions with a corporation who also shares the same views and values.
Though, im not friend thirsty; the idea of having a battlebuddy, aka ride or die homie or even that 1 person we can turn too when we need it the most is something that is honestly priceless. I know that my goals cannot be accomplished solo down the line.

So what is there I can do that can establish a player to player friendship, or maybe even encourage interaction?

Eve isn't about flying the biggest ship, or having the biggest guns. It's about finding something you love to do and doing it better. Gallente born. Guristas driven.

Gila "Amadeus"

Next in line: Rattlesnake

Kojee
Safety Set To Red
#2 - 2016-11-29 20:39:07 UTC
Sounds like you need to pop your cherry, buddy.
Scipio Artelius
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#3 - 2016-11-29 20:42:36 UTC  |  Edited by: Scipio Artelius
Even where the first rule of EVE is trust no one, the game is ultimately about finding people you can trust.

There's always risk in that, but no reason not to help a newbro.

What's the worst that happens? Your ship blows up and some lols are had. The flip side - a new friend in game - is worth that risk in my view.
Estuary Algaert
Petulant Luddite GmbH
#4 - 2016-11-29 20:43:31 UTC
I work with gankers, good profession to meet people in as well btw, and I probably would have helped someone asking for help (and not screwed them over).

It is really easy to isolate yourself from the social aspects of this game and thus enter into the loop of self preservation. Ship explosions make friends, doesn't matter if it is your ship or theirs. Talk with these people and don't be a douche, you will get a gaggle of friends in little time.
Tremaine Holden
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#5 - 2016-11-29 20:58:37 UTC
Scipio Artelius wrote:
Even where the first rule of EVE is trust no one, the game is ultimately about finding people you can trust.

There's always risk in that, but no reason not to help a newbro.

What's the worst that happens? Your ship blows up and some lols are had. The flip side - a new friend in game - is worth that risk in my view.


Yeah I feel pretty bad for not helping the newbro, but at the time I didn't have a backup ship to undock, and I didn't want to lose a ship that took a month of saving for me to afford. Hindsight 20/20 I feel like I should have just helped them.

Eve isn't about flying the biggest ship, or having the biggest guns. It's about finding something you love to do and doing it better. Gallente born. Guristas driven.

Gila "Amadeus"

Next in line: Rattlesnake

Kojee
Safety Set To Red
#6 - 2016-11-29 22:02:28 UTC  |  Edited by: Kojee
Tremaine Holden wrote:
So what is there I can do that can establish a player to player friendship, or maybe even encourage interaction?


I stand by my previous post.


That being said, I'm a BitterVet© and eye all patch notes with inherent suspicion, but on a day-to-day basis I get my enjoyment out of the relationships I've built. There are several players I've been playing with for almost a decade and will probably continue to maintain relationships with well past EVE's demise, if/when that occurs.

Some of my recommended avenues for accumulating space tras...erm, friends..

  • Get in fights. Seriously. Kill people, get killed; if you are gracious in your mayhem and receipt of mayhem, you will be rewarded with friendships and perhaps a style of gameplay you like more than what you're doing now
  • Chill in the Help channel. You may have expertise a newbro needs to learn, and that's an avenue for forming a mentor/protege relationship. This has happened to me with PvP and I met a cool guy that turned out to be one of the best PvPers I've ever seen
  • Local is not just for trolling and scouting. If you're in high-sec, engage the locals. I guarantee you some of the local inhabitants, after getting used to your presense, will be willing or even ask to join up with you and space-chill.

  • In closing I'll say this: EVE isn't necessarily about space, ships, markets, or any of the other crap that's in it; it's more of a social game than anything else. And like in real life, generating/maintaining relationships is predicated on putting some kind of effort in at the start and over time. So get to it.
    Zimmy Zeta
    Perkone
    Caldari State
    #7 - 2016-11-29 22:16:30 UTC
    Kojee wrote:
    Tremaine Holden wrote:
    So what is there I can do that can establish a player to player friendship, or maybe even encourage interaction?


    I stand by my previous post.


    That being said, I'm a BitterVet© and eye all patch notes with inherent suspicion, but on a day-to-day basis I get my enjoyment out of the relationships I've built. There are several players I've been playing with for almost a decade and will probably continue to maintain relationships with well past EVE's demise, if/when that occurs.

    Some of my recommended avenues for accumulating space tras...erm, friends..

  • Get in fights. Seriously. Kill people, get killed; if you are gracious in your mayhem and receipt of mayhem, you will be rewarded with friendships and perhaps a style of gameplay you like more than what you're doing now
  • Chill in the Help channel. You may have expertise a newbro needs to learn, and that's an avenue for forming a mentor/protege relationship. This has happened to me with PvP and I met a cool guy that turned out to be one of the best PvPers I've ever seen
  • Local is not just for trolling and scouting. If you're in high-sec, engage the locals. I guarantee you some of the local inhabitants, after getting used to your presense, will be willing or even ask to join up with you and space-chill.

  • In closing I'll say this: EVE isn't necessarily about space, ships, markets, or any of the other crap that's in it; it's more of a social game than anything else. And like in real life, generating/maintaining relationships is predicated on putting some kind of effort in at the start and over time. So get to it.


    This 100%.
    One more thing, though: you're on a dangerous path many of us have walked in the past..the "Just let me get enough money before I get started"-trap. Truth is, there is no such thing as "enough money", and many people find themselves endlessly grinding for ISK without actually enjoying the game.
    Have enough money for a few t2 fitted cruisers? Splendid, that's all you need, let's go out there and make things go boom.

    I'd like to apologize for the poor quality of the post above and sincerely hope you didn't waste your time reading it. Yes, I do feel bad about it.

    Shederov Blood
    Deadly Viper Kitten Mitten Sewing Company
    #8 - 2016-11-30 03:41:32 UTC
    Shoot first. Make friends later.

    Who put the goat in there?

    Mark Marconi
    Ministry of War
    Amarr Empire
    #9 - 2016-11-30 03:44:59 UTC
    The EvE dictionary defines friend as:

    noun
    noun: friend; plural noun: friends; noun: Friend; plural noun: Friends

    1.a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations who has not stabbed you in the back YET.

    The CSM gets in the way of CCP communicating properly with the players of this game.

    After all we are not just players, we are customers.

    Time for the CSM to be disbanded.

    Superskinny1
    hermit krabz
    #10 - 2016-11-30 03:47:44 UTC
    Eve has become a despondent land. Brief outbursts of optimism and urge to create something we can hold as our own. We've lost all indent as pioneers willing to help others to water; we've become those that prey at others weakest moments.

    But all is not lost, for now, Eve mail in game and join some of us who are still civil.
    Paranoid Loyd
    #11 - 2016-11-30 04:00:49 UTC
    Shederov Blood wrote:
    Shoot first. Make friends later.

    Confirming this is how to make friends.

    When there is something to talk about you were both a part of, it's a great ice breaker.

    "There is only one authority in this game, and that my friend is violence. The supreme authority upon which all other authority is derived." ISD Max Trix

    Fix the Prospect!

    Jake Warbird
    Republic Military School
    Minmatar Republic
    #12 - 2016-11-30 09:38:11 UTC
    Eve is a funny game. People introduce themselves with overheated guns, scrams and webs.
    Salvos Rhoska
    #13 - 2016-11-30 14:22:31 UTC
    All I seem to make is enemies angry at my posts :(
    Major Trant
    Brutor Tribe
    Minmatar Republic
    #14 - 2016-11-30 14:40:50 UTC
    Is this was a newbro asking for help, surely it happened in high sec? What trap were you frightened of being caught in?

    Fleeting up with someone doesn't give them the right to fire on you.

    So the only danger is from a suicide gank, but who would go to such an elaborate length to target you? When they can just scan down a mission runner and suicide gank them easier, while knowing exactly what the target would be flying.

    I guess this may have been a low level mission, so you wouldn't even need to bring your mission BS, but a cruiser or smaller?
    Kojee
    Safety Set To Red
    #15 - 2016-11-30 15:29:40 UTC
    Major Trant wrote:
    So the only danger is from a suicide gank, but who would go to such an elaborate length to target you? When they can just scan down a mission runner and suicide gank them easier, while knowing exactly what the target would be flying.


    It's not always about the opportunities... it's more about the catch. And a juicy hauler, mining barge or orca is a great catch.
    Major Trant
    Brutor Tribe
    Minmatar Republic
    #16 - 2016-11-30 16:09:37 UTC
    Kojee wrote:
    Major Trant wrote:
    So the only danger is from a suicide gank, but who would go to such an elaborate length to target you? When they can just scan down a mission runner and suicide gank them easier, while knowing exactly what the target would be flying.


    It's not always about the opportunities... it's more about the catch. And a juicy hauler, mining barge or orca is a great catch.

    Did you read the OP? He was asked to help out in a mission, why would he take a juicy hauler, mining barge or orca into someone else's mission? Even if the mission didn't exist, why would he even be flying them if he just thought he was on the way to help a newbro in an L2 mission in hi sec for example.

    I'm trying to establish the facts, was it is high sec? What mission level was it? Trying to understand whether the OP simply didn't understand a mechanic. Many people are still confused as to whether fleeting up grants fleetmates the ability to gank you without Concord response for example.
    Kojee
    Safety Set To Red
    #17 - 2016-11-30 16:21:19 UTC
    Major Trant wrote:
    Did you read the OP?


    Yes. I was merely postulating and explaining why someone might do such a thing.

    If it was me, I would whip out my 2003 edition of the Pirate Play Book© and try to get him into a situation where I could pop him, if he was flying something juicy enough. But hey, I'm just a BitterVet© trying to make content.
    Fionna Da'gere
    The Scope
    Gallente Federation
    #18 - 2016-11-30 16:27:35 UTC
    Tremaine Holden wrote:
    So what is there I can do that can establish a player to player friendship, or maybe even encourage interaction?


    I think the main thing is to get away from running missions.

    They're boring, repetitive, and only loosely relate to other forms of eve combat. All the rest of the advice is appropriate, go out, explore, get in fights in low sec, hunt criminals (though beware of bait, it's common now) and generally interact with the rest of the people around you.

    I'll tell you what - this game is WAY more fun when played with friends. There's plenty of 'em out there if you look.
    Bronson Hughes
    The Knights of the Blessed Mother of Acceleration
    #19 - 2016-11-30 16:34:58 UTC
    Shederov Blood wrote:
    Shoot first. Make friends later.

    Quoting for emphasis. Virtually all of my in-game friends that I didn't know outside of EvE I made by shooting at them, or a friend of theirs. Heck, I got into my first "real" corp by ganking two of the corp's pilots in a losec belt. The CEO was impressed that I would take on 2-1 odds (and win) and invited me on the spot.

    So get out there and make friends at the business end of a gun. You'll like it.

    Relatively Notorious By Association

    My Many Misadventures

    I predicted FAUXs

    DaReaper
    Net 7
    Cannon.Fodder
    #20 - 2016-11-30 17:16:49 UTC
    The fastest way to make friends is to join a corp. People when working together towards a common goal tend to form bonds.

    Even if that goal is sitting around and chatting while you do your own thing.

    Its just easier to do it in a corp.

    Now if you don;t want to join a corp, but still want buddies, then do as advised:

    Sit int he help channel and assist.

    Chat in local (won;t always work)

    you coudl also join one of the social fleets (bomber bar, NPSI, C4K Roam, Roam for Reps, etc)

    or join one of the many social channels, like thebestofus if your ex millitary.

    Just look around.

    The point is, much like real life, to make a friend you need to put yourself out there. I mean we all have one thing in common already, we all play this awesome game. Just find a spot and talk to people.

    OMG Comet Mining idea!!! Comet Mining!

    Eve For life.

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