Intergalactic Summit

He's not the first. I didn't sign on for an extended stay in the Empire because it was going to make me popular.

(I was in love, though. Just, not with the Praefecta. I might still be. It's been a while since I got to explore those feelings much.)

Thank you, sir.

Now-- you don't seem to understand why this is a problem, so let's break it down.

What is true if I believe you?

Well-- if what you say is true, the Praefecta's been lying to me-- treating me as though I were a useful person so that she can try to save my soul.

If what you say is true, my presence is in fact harming her-- the opposite of my purpose here: loyalty unto death (or one month's written notice). I'm supposed to literally give my life for her if need be, and you're saying the thing threatening her, is me. That's a horrifying idea. It hurts even to think about.

Neither of those, though, tends to make me even a little bit able to believe in a god I don't believe in. If anything, it would crack my self-confidence and -worth. I am, or have a capacity to be, a little dark; I'm aware of that. It's a useful capacity. The Praefecta isn't a naive person, but she doesn't normally think in very ruthless ways. I can think in ways she never would. If I'm hurting the Praefecta by being near her, though....

If that were true, I should resign. Maybe I'd return to traveling or doing mercenary work. Or maybe I'd conclude that if I can harm someone as strong as the Praefecta, there's no positive use left for me in this world-- that I really am a burden. If I decided that were so, the proper approach is to end myself. The Praefecta would presumably try to stop me, but, in this scenario, she's been deceiving me to keep me around, continuing to harm her. So, there's no way I should listen.

This is a scenario out of a nightmare, sir. It presses on my fears and doubts. It doesn't have to be remotely true to be upsetting.

And there's no way me believing you ends in me converting to your faith. I'd literally kill myself first-- not because I don't want to be Amarr, but because I don't believe. ... and I won't lie to you all just to make things a little easier.

If I'm someone who is hurting the people I care about most because I don't believe, that doesn't mean I will be able to just change what I believe. But, to me, it does mean I'm a terrible, harmful person who should disappear.

That is what you're saying to me, sir.

It's a little upsetting.

I wish kim would house break her pet sock puppet before allowing her to wander into threads.

Little coward, why you dared to talk about me again?

I still haven't seen you neither in space, nor person. Thus be so kind and go break your own socks (I don't know how often minmatars wash their socks, but if they consider socks are breakable - probably not often enough)

Well... probably it is so, Ms. Jenneth. But since his call to me was that random, I'll leave it as is. At least my reply is way less random.

Would turning out fine be any different if they were there on my graduation day? If they even showed up? Doubtful. The company I worked for got me on track, they are what created this little monster you see before you. If anything I'm stronger because of it all.

... you do get that I'm agreeing with you, Ms. Vess? I'm more kind of saying it sounds like you ended up an, uh, honorary orphan? well before it became fact.

I apologize if that's an awful thing to say.