Out of Pod Experience

The pony is now dead, wish granted.

Though I do wish wargaming would stop porgressing the world of tanks backwards.

Wish grant cancellation successful. You killed my thread.

Beginning Round 3 now.

I wish everything was better (try to corrupt that one)

Your wish is granted; everything gets a little bit better. However, since better and worse are comparative adjectives, if everything gets better, then no one will notice that anything has gotten better. In fact, everything getting better has the same net effect as everything getting worse. Everyone goes about their lives like usual. Except you; since you have the knowledge that your wish was granted, but you observe no relative change in your surroundings, you are overcome by a feeling that while everyone else's life may have gotten better, your life hasn't, resulting in a spiraling depression culminating in your publicly broadcast suicide out front of the local grocery.

I wish my dog could understand me, and was able to talk back.[/quote]




Wish granted, you are now going to be a ***** and you're dog he going not only to talk but also to show you some love


I wish beer would taste good when the bottle is hot

Granted. Beer now ONLY tastes good when the bottle is heated to above the boiling point of water. The beer now causes severe burns and the alcohol has evaporated, making the point of drinking it non-existant. The beer companies all go out of businesss, and thousands of people lose their jobs, triggering a global depression. Alcoholics either turn to harder liquor or start trying to drink the heated beer, causing overflow in emergency rooms from people with third degree burns on their heads. Burn units fill up, and many people now die in the aftermath of fires due to the inability for hospital burn units to adequately care for the quantity of people with burns, and the inability for them to pay for the expansion of these units because insurance companies have started dropping people who go to the doctor with beer-induced burns, and the hospitals lose billions of dollars on uninsured patients who are unable to pay for their treatments, causing more shutdowns, more unemployment, and the healthcare system to go into a death spiral. The overpopulation of the world is solved in a few short years after several preventable pandemics wipe out massive amounts of the world's population.

I wish to be a World of Darkness-style vampire of the Gangrel clan.

Granted, however you will NOT have clones, so if you're podded once, you're dead. (On top of that rats and concord will now target your pod too)

I wish there were space colonies and space travel for public use.

You have conquered Ignorance! Congradulations, people are now more intelligent! However, when the Utopia is created, you are left out.

I wish I had some Orange Juice right now..

The Meth bear with the hugs's life ended in a slow and painful manner. You have now become so acutely aware of the precise method by which he perished, you cannot help but personally relive the agony that the bear experienced every time your mind casually dwells on the subject.


I wish the things that were healthy for me to eat tasted good and the unhealthy things tasted bad....

Wish granted, you are now fully motivated.
However, as a workout you have chosen to twiddle your thumps which won´t help you becoming more athletic.

I wish for 10 billion dollar.

The one side effect you did not anticipate is boredom. Unable to sleep at night, you exhaust your collection of books, magazines, games, and movies in a few short months. As you adapt to your sleeplessness, you alienate your friends when you forget they still sleep and call them at 3 am. You sink into a deep depression where your only outlet is time spent on Eve Online...until CCP bans you when your 23/7 gameplay is identified as bot behavior. Now unable to engage with people socially and lacking in any real entertainment, you finally completely lose it. Months later, you're found on the streets, homeless and mumbling to yourself. The other indigents want nothing to do with you. They find your constant insomnia "creepy as hell".

I wish I had a real working time machine.

Granted, due to over analysis and familiarity it ceases to be amusing.

I wish I could turn back time.