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Out of Pod Experience

 
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Corrupt-a-Wish Foundation Round 2

Author
Telegram Sam
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#161 - 2012-04-10 18:12:32 UTC
It's a pony alright, but most of its life was spent in traveling carnivals. With loud and annoying kids on its back, $3 per ride, all day, day in and day out. It has had quite enough of people actually. So now you have it, and it is one mean beast. If you get close to its head it will bite. So you get wary about that and stay clear of the front and just walk around the back. But one day you're spaced out and cut around too close, and that pony back-kicks you right in the butt. Knocks you down, and for a week you have a horseshoe-shaped bruise on one cheek. True story.
Mister LEM0NS
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#162 - 2012-04-10 23:25:14 UTC
Telegram Sam wrote:
It's a pony alright, but most of its life was spent in traveling carnivals. With loud and annoying kids on its back, $3 per ride, all day, day in and day out. It has had quite enough of people actually. So now you have it, and it is one mean beast. If you get close to its head it will bite. So you get wary about that and stay clear of the front and just walk around the back. But one day you're spaced out and cut around too close, and that pony back-kicks you right in the butt. Knocks you down, and for a week you have a horseshoe-shaped bruise on one cheek. True story.


The pony is now dead, wish granted.

Though I do wish wargaming would stop porgressing the world of tanks backwards.
Culmen
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#163 - 2012-04-12 15:24:07 UTC
Mister LEM0NS wrote:
Telegram Sam wrote:
It's a pony alright, but most of its life was spent in traveling carnivals. With loud and annoying kids on its back, $3 per ride, all day, day in and day out. It has had quite enough of people actually. So now you have it, and it is one mean beast. If you get close to its head it will bite. So you get wary about that and stay clear of the front and just walk around the back. But one day you're spaced out and cut around too close, and that pony back-kicks you right in the butt. Knocks you down, and for a week you have a horseshoe-shaped bruise on one cheek. True story.


The pony is now dead, wish granted.

Though I do wish wargaming would stop porgressing the world of tanks backwards.


Granted, wargaming moves World of Tanks forward by adding in a new races the Orks and the Gnomes, also magic and infantry combat.
Then they announce they got bought out by blizzard.

I wish you would not grant me this wish.

There is a fine line between a post and a signature.

Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#164 - 2012-04-17 04:40:28 UTC
Wish grant cancellation successful. You killed my thread.

Beginning Round 3 now.

I wish everything was better (try to corrupt that one)

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Hya Bam
It's Hammer Time
#165 - 2012-04-30 23:35:48 UTC
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
Wish grant cancellation successful. You killed my thread.

Beginning Round 3 now.

I wish everything was better (try to corrupt that one)

Your wish is granted; everything gets a little bit better. However, since better and worse are comparative adjectives, if everything gets better, then no one will notice that anything has gotten better. In fact, everything getting better has the same net effect as everything getting worse. Everyone goes about their lives like usual. Except you; since you have the knowledge that your wish was granted, but you observe no relative change in your surroundings, you are overcome by a feeling that while everyone else's life may have gotten better, your life hasn't, resulting in a spiraling depression culminating in your publicly broadcast suicide out front of the local grocery.

I wish my dog could understand me, and was able to talk back.

Is this sig EVE related?

Luis Graca
#166 - 2012-05-02 08:42:47 UTC
Hya Bam wrote:

Your wish is granted; everything gets a little bit better. However, since better and worse are comparative adjectives, if everything gets better, then no one will notice that anything has gotten better. In fact, everything getting better has the same net effect as everything getting worse. Everyone goes about their lives like usual. Except you; since you have the knowledge that your wish was granted, but you observe no relative change in your surroundings, you are overcome by a feeling that while everyone else's life may have gotten better, your life hasn't, resulting in a spiraling depression culminating in your publicly broadcast suicide out front of the local grocery.

I wish my dog could understand me, and was able to talk back.[/quote]




Wish granted, you are now going to be a ***** and you're dog he going not only to talk but also to show you some love


I wish beer would taste good when the bottle is hot
Telegram Sam
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#167 - 2012-05-04 13:50:22 UTC
Hya Bam wrote:
[quote=Amaroq Dricaldari]
I wish my dog could understand me, and was able to talk back.

Wish granted: dog language translater.
(Sorry, rule violation here, double-granted Hya's wish. Couldn't resist....)
Dalin Auscent
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#168 - 2012-05-14 20:43:13 UTC
Hya Bam wrote:

I wish beer would taste good when the bottle is hot


Granted. Beer now ONLY tastes good when the bottle is heated to above the boiling point of water. The beer now causes severe burns and the alcohol has evaporated, making the point of drinking it non-existant. The beer companies all go out of businesss, and thousands of people lose their jobs, triggering a global depression. Alcoholics either turn to harder liquor or start trying to drink the heated beer, causing overflow in emergency rooms from people with third degree burns on their heads. Burn units fill up, and many people now die in the aftermath of fires due to the inability for hospital burn units to adequately care for the quantity of people with burns, and the inability for them to pay for the expansion of these units because insurance companies have started dropping people who go to the doctor with beer-induced burns, and the hospitals lose billions of dollars on uninsured patients who are unable to pay for their treatments, causing more shutdowns, more unemployment, and the healthcare system to go into a death spiral. The overpopulation of the world is solved in a few short years after several preventable pandemics wipe out massive amounts of the world's population.

I wish to be a World of Darkness-style vampire of the Gangrel clan.

Demons run when a good man goes to war. Night will fall and drown the sun, When a good man goes to war.

Unimaginative Guy
Dutch Squad
#169 - 2012-05-14 23:59:22 UTC  |  Edited by: Unimaginative Guy
SpaceSquirrels wrote:
You get immortality, but you continue to age...even stay alive in a age induced feeble coma.

I wish for ponies!!


This reminds me of the Face of Bo (Jack Sparrow) from Doctor Who and Torchwood

You become the vampire, but you are never granted the satisfaction of finding any victems.

I wish I could be a capsuleer.
Zanza Mechonis
What is tax
#170 - 2012-05-16 23:13:03 UTC
Unimaginative Guy wrote:
SpaceSquirrels wrote:
You get immortality, but you continue to age...even stay alive in a age induced feeble coma.

I wish for ponies!!


This reminds me of the Face of Bo (Jack Sparrow) from Doctor Who and Torchwood

You become the vampire, but you are never granted the satisfaction of finding any victems.

I wish I could be a capsuleer.


Granted, however you will NOT have clones, so if you're podded once, you're dead. (On top of that rats and concord will now target your pod too)

I wish there were space colonies and space travel for public use.

"On the internet you can be anything you want... It's strange that many people choose to be stupid."

killroy v2
Black Emperor's Spacewagon's
#171 - 2012-05-26 23:34:11 UTC
wish granted too bad you are enslaved.

now that i have conquered desire i wish to conquer ignorance.
John Caligan
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#172 - 2012-05-27 16:40:44 UTC
You have conquered Ignorance! Congradulations, people are now more intelligent! However, when the Utopia is created, you are left out.

I wish I had some Orange Juice right now..
LadyMiLch
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#173 - 2012-06-01 07:22:30 UTC
John Caligan wrote:
You have conquered Ignorance! Congradulations, people are now more intelligent! However, when the Utopia is created, you are left out.

I wish I had some Orange Juice right now..

An impossibly huge glass of orange juice descends from the heavens and forcibly quenches your thirst til your innards rupture and you die a horrible, orangy death!

I wish I knew what happened to that meth bear with the hugs: I wanna be friends! Big smile
Pinstar Colton
Sweet Asteroid Acres
#174 - 2012-06-07 17:35:42 UTC
The Meth bear with the hugs's life ended in a slow and painful manner. You have now become so acutely aware of the precise method by which he perished, you cannot help but personally relive the agony that the bear experienced every time your mind casually dwells on the subject.


I wish the things that were healthy for me to eat tasted good and the unhealthy things tasted bad....

In the cat-and-mouse game that is low sec, there is no shame in learning to be a better mouse.

FloppieTheBanjoClown
Arcana Noctis
Shoot First.
#175 - 2012-06-07 17:49:55 UTC
Pinstar Colton wrote:
I wish the things that were healthy for me to eat tasted good and the unhealthy things tasted bad....

Because changing all the food in the world is hard, your sense of taste and smell is changed instead. This results in your favorite smell being that of poop on a hot, humid day. While your diet is progressing nicely, no one wants to be around you because of the stench that follows you around...which you think smells wonderful.

I wish I could get motivated to work out.

Founding member of the Belligerent Undesirables movement.

Sebastian N Cain
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#176 - 2012-06-07 18:01:29 UTC
FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote:
Pinstar Colton wrote:
I wish the things that were healthy for me to eat tasted good and the unhealthy things tasted bad....

Because changing all the food in the world is hard, your sense of taste and smell is changed instead. This results in your favorite smell being that of poop on a hot, humid day. While your diet is progressing nicely, no one wants to be around you because of the stench that follows you around...which you think smells wonderful.

I wish I could get motivated to work out.

Wish granted, you are now fully motivated.
However, as a workout you have chosen to twiddle your thumps which won´t help you becoming more athletic.

I wish for 10 billion dollar.

I got lost in thought... it was unfamiliar territory.

Pinstar Colton
Sweet Asteroid Acres
#177 - 2012-06-07 18:17:11 UTC
You receive a 10 billion dollar bill... which is worthless as it is not recognized as legal currency by anyone.

I wish I didn't need to sleep...ever and not suffer the negative effects that most sleep-deprived people suffer.

In the cat-and-mouse game that is low sec, there is no shame in learning to be a better mouse.

FloppieTheBanjoClown
Arcana Noctis
Shoot First.
#178 - 2012-06-07 21:08:11 UTC
Pinstar Colton wrote:
I wish I didn't need to sleep...ever and not suffer the negative effects that most sleep-deprived people suffer.


The one side effect you did not anticipate is boredom. Unable to sleep at night, you exhaust your collection of books, magazines, games, and movies in a few short months. As you adapt to your sleeplessness, you alienate your friends when you forget they still sleep and call them at 3 am. You sink into a deep depression where your only outlet is time spent on Eve Online...until CCP bans you when your 23/7 gameplay is identified as bot behavior. Now unable to engage with people socially and lacking in any real entertainment, you finally completely lose it. Months later, you're found on the streets, homeless and mumbling to yourself. The other indigents want nothing to do with you. They find your constant insomnia "creepy as hell".

I wish I had a real working time machine.

Founding member of the Belligerent Undesirables movement.

Svarek
#179 - 2012-06-08 00:51:04 UTC
FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote:
I wish I had a real working time machine.


Congratulations, it's 12:52 GMT, June 8th, 2012.

I wish people understood irony. =(

Whoops.

Culmen
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#180 - 2012-06-08 03:58:33 UTC
Svarek wrote:
FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote:
I wish I had a real working time machine.


Congratulations, it's 12:52 GMT, June 8th, 2012.

I wish people understood irony. =(


Granted, due to over analysis and familiarity it ceases to be amusing.

I wish I could turn back time.

There is a fine line between a post and a signature.