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Corrupt-a-Wish Foundation Round 2

Author
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#101 - 2012-02-07 05:02:50 UTC  |  Edited by: Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Wish granted. A member of CCP starts fitting your ships and training your PvP skills for you, but then someone else at CCP catches them. He gets fired and you get banned.

I wish I got kicked by my corporation. A friend of mine shares this account, and they were about to get their character enlisted in a corporation but their application got rejected because my alliance is at war with theirs. And my alliance isn't taking new recruits, by the way.
Who would like to buy a melon?  Madame, would you like to buy a--   ...oh. I see you've already got some.   Who would like to buy a melon?
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#102 - 2012-02-07 05:58:02 UTC  |  Edited by: Amaroq Dricaldari
Wish potentially granted. But now nobody is going to recruit you because they see that you have no potential.

I wish I had a real Social Adaptation Chip and Cybernetic Subprocessor, that I had the money to get them in the first place, that they actually worked, and that my brain could actually handle the information. And I still want money left over. And I want them in real-life, not in EVE. A memory augmentation would also be nice.

I also wish that I got them a long time ago.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Hya Bam
It's Hammer Time
#103 - 2012-02-07 09:41:20 UTC  |  Edited by: Hya Bam
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
Wish potentially granted. But now nobody is going to recruit you because they see that you have no potential.

I wish I had a real Social Adaptation Chip and Cybernetic Subprocessor, that I had the money to get them in the first place, that they actually worked, and that my brain could actually handle the information. And I still want money left over. And I want them in real-life, not in EVE. A memory augmentation would also be nice.

I also wish that I got them a long time ago.


Wish granted. You were able to take part in the initial product trials and human testing. However, because of certain limitations on our 21st century technology, they have to plug into a wall outlet to work, and since they are hard wired into your brain, your whole brain shuts of when you pull the plug.

Also, having gotten them a long time ago, they only take floppy disks, and have 16MB memory.

I wish that I hadn't dropped out of college, and instead stuck with it and graduated. I might still be washing dishes, but at least I would have that little piece of paper to prove I actually got what I paid for.

Is this sig EVE related?

Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#104 - 2012-02-07 09:55:29 UTC
Hya Bam wrote:
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
Wish potentially granted. But now nobody is going to recruit you because they see that you have no potential.

I wish I had a real Social Adaptation Chip and Cybernetic Subprocessor, that I had the money to get them in the first place, that they actually worked, and that my brain could actually handle the information. And I still want money left over. And I want them in real-life, not in EVE. A memory augmentation would also be nice.

I also wish that I got them a long time ago.


Wish granted. You were able to take part in the initial product trials and human testing. However, because of certain limitations on our 21st century technology, they have to plug into a wall outlet to work, and since they are hard wired into your brain, your whole brain shuts of when you pull the plug.

Also, having gotten them a long time ago, they only take floppy disks, and have 16MB memory.

I wish that I hadn't dropped out of college, and instead stuck with it and graduated. I might still be washing dishes, but at least I would have that little piece of paper to prove I actually got what I paid for.

Wish granted. You go back to college to get a second chance, but you decide to enlist in the Marine Core first to pay for your college tuition. Thus, you have to go through very stressful and dangerous training, and then you have to go overseas for war. But at least they will pay for your college education.

I wish... I wish...

Ha! You'll have to guess what I wished for this time!

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

W1rlW1nd
WirlWind
#105 - 2012-02-07 10:51:01 UTC
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:

I wish... I wish...

Ha! You'll have to guess what I wished for this time!



Wish granted. You have wished for someone to guess what your wish is, . . . and somebody does. The guess wish is for you to receive a pretty pony. Even though the person may have guessed wrong, you get that wish anyway, so now you are followed around by a lifesize cartoon pink pony wherever you go.
Respectable people are afraid to go near you in public now. But at least you have gained a new following of devoted adult friends, even though they may seem very odd, be high half the time and call you "brohoof" for some reason.


I wish I didn't have to sleep, so I could get more work done.


Crom Mitra
Doomheim
#106 - 2012-02-07 18:02:59 UTC
W1rlW1nd wrote:
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:

I wish... I wish...

Ha! You'll have to guess what I wished for this time!



Wish granted. You have wished for someone to guess what your wish is, . . . and somebody does. The guess wish is for you to receive a pretty pony. Even though the person may have guessed wrong, you get that wish anyway, so now you are followed around by a lifesize cartoon pink pony wherever you go.
Respectable people are afraid to go near you in public now. But at least you have gained a new following of devoted adult friends, even though they may seem very odd, be high half the time and call you "brohoof" for some reason.


I wish I didn't have to sleep, so I could get more work done.



You discover a certain type of homemade amphetamine. You no longer ever feel like sleeping-- pr eating. You have huge dilated pupils and you're up all night fidgeting and nervously grinding your teeth. After a couple of days of no sleep or food, you start to hallucinate. You get a lot of work done, but nobody can decipher what it is you were trying to do. Including you-- you can't figure it out either.

I wish for a Marshall MG 100 guitar amp.
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#107 - 2012-02-08 00:50:06 UTC
Wish granted. It is the distant future year 99999, and your guitar amp came is broken, and since it is an ancient antique nobody is able to repair it. In addition, it cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars.

I wish I wasn't so sick all of the time.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Hans Zwaardhandler
Habitual Euthanasia
Pandemic Legion
#108 - 2012-02-08 02:26:51 UTC
Wish granted. You are no longer sick all of the time. Instead, you have developed curious things inside of your blood that repel disease. Science and the government catches wind of this, as well as old rich people with hopelessly incurable diseases unless they have your blood. You are forced to go on the run to avoid capture, and can not stop in one place for more than five minutes or They will catch you.

I wish for a computer that could run EVE at the best graphical power without a jitter.
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#109 - 2012-02-08 02:44:31 UTC  |  Edited by: Amaroq Dricaldari
Hans Zwaardhandler wrote:
Wish granted. You are no longer sick all of the time. Instead, you have developed curious things inside of your blood that repel disease. Science and the government catches wind of this, as well as old rich people with hopelessly incurable diseases unless they have your blood. You are forced to go on the run to avoid capture, and can not stop in one place for more than five minutes or They will catch you.

I wish for a computer that could run EVE at the best graphical power without a jitter.

Wish granted. It will cost you 999,999,999,999,999 ISK (Interstellar Kredits). That is because the year is now 99999, and EVE Online has evolved to the point of being so Graphically intensive it won't run on even the most powerful Super Computers of that day and age, so you have to buy God's computer (the universe itself).

I wish a Dev would finally reply to this thread.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Imri Okaski
Doomheim
#110 - 2012-02-08 15:31:28 UTC
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
Hans Zwaardhandler wrote:
Wish granted. You are no longer sick all of the time. Instead, you have developed curious things inside of your blood that repel disease. Science and the government catches wind of this, as well as old rich people with hopelessly incurable diseases unless they have your blood. You are forced to go on the run to avoid capture, and can not stop in one place for more than five minutes or They will catch you.

I wish for a computer that could run EVE at the best graphical power without a jitter.

Wish granted. It will cost you 999,999,999,999,999 ISK (Interstellar Kredits). That is because the year is now 99999, and EVE Online has evolved to the point of being so Graphically intensive it won't run on even the most powerful Super Computers of that day and age, so you have to buy God's computer (the universe itself).

I wish a Dev would finally reply to this thread.

A Dev eventually responds but by then you've quit playing Eve and never see the post.

I wish were the immortal omnipotent God Empress of the Universe.
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#111 - 2012-02-09 02:54:50 UTC
Wish granted. You are the ruler of a parrallel universe which is 100% uninhabited (don't ask me how you got there) and then someone in another universe tries bridging the two universes on the subspace level to generate Zero Point Energy, but it creates Entropy Particles on your side which are highly dangerous and disobey all of the known laws of physics. They also create a tear in the fabric of time and space, and then it breaches the subspace uniserse and destroys your universe in a plank second. Also note that there are more plank seconds in a second than there are seconds since the beginning of the universe.

I wish I was in the universe that wasn't being bombarded with entropy particles.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#112 - 2012-02-09 21:50:31 UTC
I assume that my wish is mysteriously un-corruptable. What a shame. You can do anything to me if you feel like it.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Alara IonStorm
#113 - 2012-02-09 22:14:53 UTC
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
You can do anything to me if you feel like it.

I had the same idea in your substitute reality thread.

I even made a checklist.

Scalpel *Check,
Power Drill *Check,
Saw *Check,
Screw Driver *Check,
Hammer and Nails* Check,
Chloroform *Check,
Rope *Check,
Eye Drops/Tape/8 Foot Poster of Blane Xero *Check

I will do this stuff Big smile

I wish for a 10000 Forum Likes.
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#114 - 2012-02-09 22:22:38 UTC
Wish granted. You and your boyfriend recieve 99999 likes on the 4chan forums, and then you both end up trapped in the universe being bombarded with entropy particles, somehow.

I wish that one guy would get the message that I just don't care about him anymore.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Hans Zwaardhandler
Habitual Euthanasia
Pandemic Legion
#115 - 2012-02-10 23:52:39 UTC
He gets the message. Unfortunately, more people come to annoy you, and this involves finding out your phone number, your email address, and you mailing address, no matter how many times you change it. To make matters worse, they are thirteen year old kids with some interesting takes on slurs who have a tendency to have bumper stickers attached to your car with said slurs all over them. You got rid of the annoying guy though.

I wish that I was able to farm PLEX through in game methods.
mining f0rmoney
Bandit Baking Club
Freight Train Diplomacy
#116 - 2012-02-11 02:04:11 UTC
Wish granted. You farm your first plex, but then you get a virus that causes you to become blind. So now you can never play eve again.

i wish i had a mining ship
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#117 - 2012-02-11 02:45:18 UTC
Wish granted. You have a titan with Civilian Mining Lasers.

I shall copy the wish of the next poster.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

mining f0rmoney
Bandit Baking Club
Freight Train Diplomacy
#118 - 2012-02-11 03:04:40 UTC
Wish granted.

i wish i could login to the forums
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#119 - 2012-02-11 03:08:12 UTC
Wish granted. You just did.

I wish we could get some good ones again. You know, some good ones?

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

darkdooku
WolfPack.
#120 - 2012-02-11 04:08:05 UTC
Wish granted.
Tthis thread becomes so popular and so many people are trying to post/reply on it that it crashes the hosting servers and CCP deems this thread too dangerous and shuts it down.

I wish my corpmates would log on EVE so I could fleet up with them.