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Corrupt-a-Wish Foundation Round 2

Author
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#81 - 2012-01-31 00:55:20 UTC
JordanParey wrote:
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
Wish granted.

After spending so much time on the forums and making so many cotributions to EVE, your brain suddenly depends on the game, and everytime there is a downtime you suffer a headache so horrifying that you feel like your head is going to explode.

I wish I was CCP's Favorite player.


Wish granted, you become CCP's favorite player. You are showered with limited issue ships, all the ISK you want, devhax, T2 BPOs, and custom ship skins that have naked ladies painted on them.

Outside the game, you realize that you're still a nobody, with few REAL assets, no friends, no social skills, and a sex life that entails no sex and no life.

I wish that I had better social skills. And no, not the ingame kind.


Wish granted. You go to Barnes & Noble and find a real-life copy of Fast Talk!

I wish I stopped losing Internet Connectionfor no damn reason.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Yorick rashnikov
The Illuminatii
Wrecktical Supremacy.
#82 - 2012-01-31 08:27:24 UTC
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
JordanParey wrote:
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
Wish granted.

After spending so much time on the forums and making so many cotributions to EVE, your brain suddenly depends on the game, and everytime there is a downtime you suffer a headache so horrifying that you feel like your head is going to explode.

I wish I was CCP's Favorite player.


Wish granted, you become CCP's favorite player. You are showered with limited issue ships, all the ISK you want, devhax, T2 BPOs, and custom ship skins that have naked ladies painted on them.

Outside the game, you realize that you're still a nobody, with few REAL assets, no friends, no social skills, and a sex life that entails no sex and no life.

I wish that I had better social skills. And no, not the ingame kind.


Wish granted. You go to Barnes & Noble and find a real-life copy of Fast Talk!

I wish I stopped losing Internet Connectionfor no damn reason.


Granted, but you know have an old 56kbit dial up connection.

I wish i had a 300lb chocolate cake.
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#83 - 2012-02-01 00:49:56 UTC
Yorick rashnikov wrote:
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
JordanParey wrote:
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
Wish granted.

After spending so much time on the forums and making so many cotributions to EVE, your brain suddenly depends on the game, and everytime there is a downtime you suffer a headache so horrifying that you feel like your head is going to explode.

I wish I was CCP's Favorite player.


Wish granted, you become CCP's favorite player. You are showered with limited issue ships, all the ISK you want, devhax, T2 BPOs, and custom ship skins that have naked ladies painted on them.

Outside the game, you realize that you're still a nobody, with few REAL assets, no friends, no social skills, and a sex life that entails no sex and no life.

I wish that I had better social skills. And no, not the ingame kind.


Wish granted. You go to Barnes & Noble and find a real-life copy of Fast Talk!

I wish I stopped losing Internet Connectionfor no damn reason.


Granted, but you know have an old 56kbit dial up connection.

I wish i had a 300lb chocolate cake.

Wish granted. Right as you are about to take the first slice, you fall through a trap door into an incinerator room. In addition, there are little alcoves in the walls populated by Aperture Science brand Turrets.

I wish I had a Portal Gun.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Nephilius
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#84 - 2012-02-01 01:08:22 UTC
Wish Granted. However, in your excitement, you fail to read the instructions on proper use of Portal Gun. The gun backfires, creating a singularity that exists just long enough to cause you to spaghettify. Your mangled corpse is later found, and after a national news story, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is claimed to be a reality. Clever atheists everywhere curse their brilliance, and develop a life-long aversion to pasta dishes.

I wish that Stephanie Meyer had never written the Twilight series, instead opting for Weight Watchers, finding a nice man, getting married and never developing serious mental issues that she now passes on to tens of millions of impressionable people.
"If."
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#85 - 2012-02-01 20:33:47 UTC  |  Edited by: Amaroq Dricaldari
Nephilius wrote:
Wish Granted. However, in your excitement, you fail to read the instructions on proper use of Portal Gun. The gun backfires, creating a singularity that exists just long enough to cause you to spaghettify. Your mangled corpse is later found, and after a national news story, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is claimed to be a reality. Clever atheists everywhere curse their brilliance, and develop a life-long aversion to pasta dishes.

I wish that Stephanie Meyer had never written the Twilight series, instead opting for Weight Watchers, finding a nice man, getting married and never developing serious mental issues that she now passes on to tens of millions of impressionable people.

Wish granted. Now the world is overrun with something even worse than Twilight fans.



If only my cat wasn't a dumbass, eh?

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#86 - 2012-02-03 01:57:16 UTC  |  Edited by: Amaroq Dricaldari
You guys don't know Canadian, eh? You want me to say my wish in American instead?

I wish my cat wasn't r e t a r d e d.



EDIT: I see that everyone has lost interest in this thread. I will now shut it down completely.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Kiroma Halandri
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#87 - 2012-02-04 05:16:06 UTC
Wish granted. Your cat is no longer ********. They become so intelligent that they program a computer virus which shuts down your computer's cooling system, causing it to overheat and melt on the inside. Right afterwards, your two cats enslave the entire human race.

I wish I was a member of the CIA, that way I could make any person dissapear whenever I wanted to.
[center]I'm not Anti-Social,    **I just don't like you.[/center]**
Hans Zwaardhandler
Habitual Euthanasia
Pandemic Legion
#88 - 2012-02-04 14:12:31 UTC
Granted. Your constant use of making people disappear as your power for hunger grows soon sparks a federal investigation, and you are thrown in prison when you attempt to make the president "disappear".

I wish that I didn't have so many connection crashes when I am playing EVE.
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#89 - 2012-02-04 21:30:29 UTC
Wish granted. Just like me, you now have a 56kbit dial-up connection.

I wish I had a Strategic Cruiser.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Alpheias
The Khaleph
#90 - 2012-02-04 22:16:09 UTC
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
Wish granted. Just like me, you now have a 56kbit dial-up connection.

I wish I had a Strategic Cruiser.


Granted. But I blew it up.

I wish you stopped posting, like you said you would.

Agent of Chaos, Sower of Discord.

Don't talk to me unless you are IQ verified and certified with three references from non-family members. Please have your certificate of authenticity on hand.

Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#91 - 2012-02-04 22:32:54 UTC
Wish granted. This thread will now cease to exist.

And if I remember correctly, I only said that I would stop making threads. Replies are a different story entirely.

I wish that one troll ceased to exist and didn't cause me to ragequit the other night.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Hans Zwaardhandler
Habitual Euthanasia
Pandemic Legion
#92 - 2012-02-05 02:54:29 UTC
Wish granted. The troll was never born into the world, and you went along happily in EVE. However, an even worse troll pops up, suicide ganks your freighter full of whiskey and boosters, causing you to fling your computer out the window to hit a pedestrian in the face.
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#93 - 2012-02-05 06:24:09 UTC
You forgot to make a wish.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Kiroma Halandri
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#94 - 2012-02-05 06:25:43 UTC
Hans Zwaardhandler wrote:
Wish granted. The troll was never born into the world, and you went along happily in EVE. However, an even worse troll pops up, suicide ganks your freighter full of whiskey and boosters, causing you to fling your computer out the window to hit a pedestrian in the face.

Wish granted. Since you didn't make a wish, absolutely nothing happens.

I wish for Faction Shuttles to come into existence, and I want them to be better gameplay-wise than the standard shuttles.
[center]I'm not Anti-Social,    **I just don't like you.[/center]**
W1rlW1nd
WirlWind
#95 - 2012-02-05 08:29:52 UTC
Kiroma Halandri wrote:
...

I wish for Faction Shuttles to come into existence, and I want them to be better gameplay-wise than the standard shuttles.



Wish granted. You are so excited about the prospect of owning a "one of a kind" Interbus Shuttle that you purchase 100 Plex with your credit card and trade them in game for it without question. . . to your horror you then realize that the only thing making it this shuttle better than the standard shuttles is that it has a cargo bay 20m3 instead of 10m3, and was in fact a free gift to each player a few years ago and pretty lame one at that. To add insult to injury it is the same skin as the galente shuttle but painted yellow.


I wish I owned a working PS3, instead of a broken xbox360:(




Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#96 - 2012-02-06 06:34:33 UTC
Wish granted. It is the ****** 3rd Generation, which as no Backwards Compatibility and instead has downgraded graphics. And don't say that it has Blu-Ray, because the old one has it too.

I wish for at least one day where everyone on the Internet could get along.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Dark Assassin15
Failed Diplomacy
#97 - 2012-02-06 19:46:12 UTC  |  Edited by: Dark Assassin15
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
Wish granted. It is the ****** 3rd Generation, which as no Backwards Compatibility and instead has downgraded graphics. And don't say that it has Blu-Ray, because the old one has it too.

I wish for at least one day where everyone on the Internet could get along.


Wish granted! re-routes all of your network traffic to http://www.hellokittyonline.com/

I wish my naughty bits didn't itch.

[img]http://www.invokemethod.com/repo/failedsig.png[/img]

Tenobia Aybara
Doomheim
#98 - 2012-02-06 19:54:13 UTC  |  Edited by: Tenobia Aybara
EDIT: Guy above beat me to it.

Your naughty bits disappear.

I wish a fully working tank randomly appears above that lake in Antarctica
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#99 - 2012-02-06 22:34:53 UTC
Wish granted. You are now trapped inside the tank both freezing to death and drowning at the same time.

I wish the Steam client would stop ******* up at random.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Something Random
Byddin Un
#100 - 2012-02-06 22:46:24 UTC
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
Wish granted. You are now trapped inside the tank both freezing to death and drowning at the same time.

I wish the Steam client would stop ******* up at random.


Wish granted, your steam client is uninstalled by the next update you received.

I wish i could PVP without making dumb nub mistakes all the time *mutters something about sentries*.

"caught on fire a little bit, just a little."

"Delinquents, check, weirdos, check, hippies, check, pillheads, check, freaks, check, potheads, check .....gangs´╗┐ all here!"

I love Science, it gives me a Hadron.