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Out of Pod Experience

 
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Corrupt-a-Wish Foundation Round 2

Author
Istvaan Shogaatsu
Guiding Hand Social Club
#61 - 2012-01-23 23:31:35 UTC
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
Wish granted. Using the knowledge aquired from the day of intelligent posting, the Devs build a prototype Replicator, Teleporter, and Subliminal Message Device all powered by a Nuclear Reactor. Once they set it all up, they teleport a bunch of beer bottles to the desks of EVERYONE playing the game (except you) and use the subliminal message transmitter to forve everyone to get drunk on the booze. After they are all drunk, one of the devs randomly starts banning people from the game, and you are one of the people to randomly get banned.

I wish reverse psychology worked when I was trying to get people to help me with something.


Reverse psychology worked better than you could possibly expect:

I HOPE EVERYONE POSTING IN THIS THREAD DOESN'T GET CANCER
F'lix
AP Ventures Ltd.
#62 - 2012-01-23 23:55:16 UTC
Istvaan Shogaatsu wrote:
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
Wish granted. Using the knowledge aquired from the day of intelligent posting, the Devs build a prototype Replicator, Teleporter, and Subliminal Message Device all powered by a Nuclear Reactor. Once they set it all up, they teleport a bunch of beer bottles to the desks of EVERYONE playing the game (except you) and use the subliminal message transmitter to forve everyone to get drunk on the booze. After they are all drunk, one of the devs randomly starts banning people from the game, and you are one of the people to randomly get banned.

I wish reverse psychology worked when I was trying to get people to help me with something.


Reverse psychology worked better than you could possibly expect:

I HOPE EVERYONE POSTING IN THIS THREAD DOESN'T GET CANCER


Granted, nobody gets Cancer. They get AIDS, and no cake, until they die. You monster.

I wish the powers that be released a cure for AIDS.

Shaytan Combine is Recruiting! All Pilots Welcome regardless of Skill level, Profession, or Bitterness level Visit http://goo.gl/Hstpv for details.

Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#63 - 2012-01-24 00:01:51 UTC  |  Edited by: Amaroq Dricaldari
Wish granted. As soon as someone perfects a cure for both AIDS and Cancer, their head explodes and you hear a repeated ricochet sound and you see sparks everywhere. After the bullet finally stops moving and drops to the ground, it is confirmed to not have come from any gun and to have gone off on its own and literally picked a random direction to start flying in. SHAME ON YOU, STRAY BULLET!

I wish I had a huge crate of COMBUSTABLE LEMONS THAT BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Umega
Solis Mensa
#64 - 2012-01-24 08:22:15 UTC
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:

I wish I had a huge crate of COMBUSTABLE LEMONS THAT BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!


Success. You burnt my ******* house down. But in doing so.. it is found that a chemical reaction occurs between the citric acid in lemons and some sort of white substance found on my porn mags, that when heated to house-on-fire tempuratures, created a cure for both Aids and Cancer. I become rich and famous while you end up in prison for arson where your cellmate Bubba ends up giving you butt herpes.. to which there is no cure for.

I wish the Earth had three moons.
testawan
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#65 - 2012-01-24 10:29:05 UTC
Granted. However the gravity oddly only picks you and you slowly float towards them. When you hit one of them it knocks its orbit into another and then both float aimlessly towards a star far far away. You however are a russians bad day when he get his white shirt all red.

I wish for a cup of tea without poison.
Indahmawar Fazmarai
#66 - 2012-01-24 14:03:18 UTC
Granted. You are having your cup of tea with a smile when the teaspoon killer grabs your spoon and begins killing you with it.

I wish that I had a wish.
F'lix
AP Ventures Ltd.
#67 - 2012-01-24 18:09:57 UTC
Indahmawar Fazmarai wrote:
Granted. You are having your cup of tea with a smile when the teaspoon killer grabs your spoon and begins killing you with it.

I wish that I had a wish.


Granted, you wish to stare at my smug avatar all day long.

I wish I for oranges.

Shaytan Combine is Recruiting! All Pilots Welcome regardless of Skill level, Profession, or Bitterness level Visit http://goo.gl/Hstpv for details.

Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#68 - 2012-01-26 00:04:24 UTC
Wish granted. You take a bite from a 4-dimensional orange that fell from space, and since you damaged a 4-dimensional object it causes a you-ending paradox.

I wisshhhhhhhhh.....
Oh, sorry, I think I fell asleep.

I wish for a pink pony with rocket jet boosters in its ass and a rainbow minigun bolted to its forehead...

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#69 - 2012-01-26 00:05:41 UTC  |  Edited by: Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
Wish granted. You take a bite from a 4-dimensional orange that fell from space, and since you damaged a 4-dimensional object it causes a you-ending paradox.

I wisshhhhhhhhh.....
Oh, sorry, I think I fell asleep.

I wish for a pink pony with rocket jet boosters in its ass and a rainbow minigun bolted to its forehead...





The pony teaches you the value of true friendship and caring.

I wish for x-ray specs that really work.
Who would like to buy a melon?  Madame, would you like to buy a--   ...oh. I see you've already got some.   Who would like to buy a melon?
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#70 - 2012-01-27 05:21:16 UTC
Bumpity Bum-bum Ba-Bump

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

JordanParey
Quality Assurance
#71 - 2012-01-27 08:48:27 UTC
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius wrote:
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
Wish granted. You take a bite from a 4-dimensional orange that fell from space, and since you damaged a 4-dimensional object it causes a you-ending paradox.

I wisshhhhhhhhh.....
Oh, sorry, I think I fell asleep.

I wish for a pink pony with rocket jet boosters in its ass and a rainbow minigun bolted to its forehead...





The pony teaches you the value of true friendship and caring.

I wish for x-ray specs that really work.


Granted, but they only work on fat, hairy men with obnoxious boners, and you can't take them off.

I wish my pajamas were printed with a $20-dollar-bill graphic instead of a $100-dollar-bill graphic.
Alpheias
The Khaleph
#72 - 2012-01-27 12:13:54 UTC
JordanParey wrote:
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius wrote:
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
Wish granted. You take a bite from a 4-dimensional orange that fell from space, and since you damaged a 4-dimensional object it causes a you-ending paradox.

I wisshhhhhhhhh.....
Oh, sorry, I think I fell asleep.

I wish for a pink pony with rocket jet boosters in its ass and a rainbow minigun bolted to its forehead...





The pony teaches you the value of true friendship and caring.

I wish for x-ray specs that really work.


Granted, but they only work on fat, hairy men with obnoxious boners, and you can't take them off.

I wish my pajamas were printed with a $20-dollar-bill graphic instead of a $100-dollar-bill graphic.


Granted, but the PJ would have assless pants and you'd have to serve a long line of men every night with your ass.

I wish I cared.

Agent of Chaos, Sower of Discord.

Don't talk to me unless you are IQ verified and certified with three references from non-family members. Please have your certificate of authenticity on hand.

Zagam
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#73 - 2012-01-27 13:53:44 UTC
Alpheias wrote:


Granted, but the PJ would have assless pants and you'd have to serve a long line of men every night with your ass.

I wish I cared.


Wish granted. You care so much that after reading posts here on the forums, you simply can't take the stress any longer, and gouge your eyes out with a rusty spoon.

I wish that any curse placed upon me by my wishes bounces back on the person who corrupted it.
FloppieTheBanjoClown
Arcana Noctis
Shoot First.
#74 - 2012-01-27 15:25:09 UTC
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
I wish reverse psychology worked when I was trying to get people to help me with something.


Reverse psychology now works all too well, and once you get someone to help you, they never go away and will persist in annoyingly trying to help you with everything you do. This becomes a real problem the first time you need to poop and four people follow you into the bathroom.

I wish I were independently wealth so I could just play games all day.

Founding member of the Belligerent Undesirables movement.

FloppieTheBanjoClown
Arcana Noctis
Shoot First.
#75 - 2012-01-27 15:27:35 UTC
Zagam wrote:
I wish that any curse placed upon me by my wishes bounces back on the person who corrupted it.


Unfortunately, the corruption of the wish is that the person you replied to would suffer horribly bad luck. As that is reflected onto me, and I replied to you...

Founding member of the Belligerent Undesirables movement.

F'lix
AP Ventures Ltd.
#76 - 2012-01-27 18:17:18 UTC
FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote:
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
I wish reverse psychology worked when I was trying to get people to help me with something.


Reverse psychology now works all too well, and once you get someone to help you, they never go away and will persist in annoyingly trying to help you with everything you do. This becomes a real problem the first time you need to poop and four people follow you into the bathroom.

I wish I were independently wealth so I could just play games all day.


Granted. You can now play games all day, everyday. You never leave the safety of your computer chair. In fact, you install a plumbing system underneath your chair, and hire a deranged butler to serve your basic human needs day in and day out, because you can afford to. After months pass and even years, your body grows obscenely obese with the lack of activity, and your very skin eventually grafts itself into the fabric on your throne, securing you biologically and permanently to the chair. One fateful day you get a call on your bluetooth headset from your financial advisor. Your investments have plummeted. You're broke.

I wish I didn't have such a grotesque vision of what I just typed going through my head.

Shaytan Combine is Recruiting! All Pilots Welcome regardless of Skill level, Profession, or Bitterness level Visit http://goo.gl/Hstpv for details.

Alpheias
The Khaleph
#77 - 2012-01-27 18:26:58 UTC
F'lix wrote:
FloppieTheBanjoClown wrote:
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
I wish reverse psychology worked when I was trying to get people to help me with something.


Reverse psychology now works all too well, and once you get someone to help you, they never go away and will persist in annoyingly trying to help you with everything you do. This becomes a real problem the first time you need to poop and four people follow you into the bathroom.

I wish I were independently wealth so I could just play games all day.


Granted. You can now play games all day, everyday. You never leave the safety of your computer chair. In fact, you install a plumbing system underneath your chair, and hire a deranged butler to serve your basic human needs day in and day out, because you can afford to. After months pass and even years, your body grows obscenely obese with the lack of activity, and your very skin eventually grafts itself into the fabric on your throne, securing you biologically and permanently to the chair. One fateful day you get a call on your bluetooth headset from your financial advisor. Your investments have plummeted. You're broke.

I wish I didn't have such a grotesque vision of what I just typed going through my head.


Not granted. It is stuck there, with psychedelic colors and a Justin Beiber singing baby baby baby oh.

I wish I could be nice, make constructive posts and make a contribution to these forums.

Agent of Chaos, Sower of Discord.

Don't talk to me unless you are IQ verified and certified with three references from non-family members. Please have your certificate of authenticity on hand.

Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#78 - 2012-01-28 15:34:52 UTC
Wish granted.

After spending so much time on the forums and making so many cotributions to EVE, your brain suddenly depends on the game, and everytime there is a downtime you suffer a headache so horrifying that you feel like your head is going to explode.

I wish I was CCP's Favorite player.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#79 - 2012-01-30 06:51:17 UTC
Don't tell me everyone lost interest.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

JordanParey
Quality Assurance
#80 - 2012-01-30 10:09:18 UTC
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
Wish granted.

After spending so much time on the forums and making so many cotributions to EVE, your brain suddenly depends on the game, and everytime there is a downtime you suffer a headache so horrifying that you feel like your head is going to explode.

I wish I was CCP's Favorite player.


Wish granted, you become CCP's favorite player. You are showered with limited issue ships, all the ISK you want, devhax, T2 BPOs, and custom ship skins that have naked ladies painted on them.

Outside the game, you realize that you're still a nobody, with few REAL assets, no friends, no social skills, and a sex life that entails no sex and no life.

I wish that I had better social skills. And no, not the ingame kind.