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Corrupt-a-Wish Foundation Round 2

Author
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#41 - 2012-01-18 04:35:12 UTC  |  Edited by: Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Wish granted. However, you get drunk one day and accidentally turn yourself into a sweetroll.
Then someone eats you.

I wish I could get more customers. The economy is in total chaos.
Would you like to buy a melon?
Who would like to buy a melon?  Madame, would you like to buy a--   ...oh. I see you've already got some.   Who would like to buy a melon?
VKhaun Vex
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#42 - 2012-01-18 04:56:01 UTC
Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius wrote:
I wish I could get more customers.


Wish granted. Your side job as a prostitute really takes off when the residents of the local retirement home take interest.






I wish I had some fruit snacks.
I could really go for some fruit snacks right about now. What?



Charges Twilight fans with Ka-bar -Surfin's PlunderBunny LIIIIIIIIIIINNEEEEE PIIIEEEECCCCEEE!!!!!!! -Taedrin Using relativity to irrational numbers is smart -rodyas I no longer believe we landed on the moon. -Atticus Fynch

La Rena
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#43 - 2012-01-18 05:23:32 UTC
Quote:
I could really go for some fruit snacks right about now


You finally get some fruit snacks, but because they are processed with chemicals and such, you get chronic explosive diarrhea.

I wish to find a wormhole that goes straight into jove spaceBig smile
Griff Hardstone
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#44 - 2012-01-18 07:39:56 UTC
La Rena wrote:
I wish to find a wormhole that goes straight into jove spaceBig smile


You find one, but it collapses behind you, the Jovian technology in your new ship will allow you to jump thousands of AU's. So instead of a 2,000 year trip back it will only take you 200 years.

I wish I had replicator like in Star Trek for food and drink.
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#45 - 2012-01-18 23:33:33 UTC
Wish granted. It mysteriously starts giving you catfood.

I REALLY wish SOPA and PIPA won't be passed.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#46 - 2012-01-20 00:30:56 UTC
Since this thread is too awesome to die, I will attempt to corrupt my own wish.

Wish granted, but now they are going to use our internet rights against us.

---

I WISH FOR PIE!

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Drop-Me-Own-Stocks Darius
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#47 - 2012-01-21 02:58:15 UTC
Wish granted. It is one of my famous meatpies.

I wish for an 'Assination' via Natural Disaster to occur.
Alternate Wish: I wish for 'Assination' by Over-Charged Tazer.
Who would like to buy a melon?  Madame, would you like to buy a--   ...oh. I see you've already got some.   Who would like to buy a melon?
Deviana Sevidon
Jades Falcon Guards
#48 - 2012-01-22 23:34:29 UTC
Granted.

The disaster is a damaged a nuclear power plant just a few km away from your home, getting damaged by an earthquake. It releases a high amount of radiation but before it goes down the generators create a power surge that somehow overcharges a taser weapon and when it discharges, it goes right in your behind. Because you are completely irradiated, it is still the least of your worries.

I wish I had some cybernetic implants.

....as if 10,058 Goon voices cried out and were suddenly silenced.

Tiberius Sunstealer
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#49 - 2012-01-23 03:33:54 UTC
Deviana Sevidon wrote:
I wish I had some cybernetic implants.

You recieve a million of each Limited cybernetic implant and whenever you plug-in a cybernetic implant that isn't Limited, it turns into a Limited and deducts a billion ISK from your wallet.

I wish for a titan (because i'm an idiot).
VKhaun Vex
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#50 - 2012-01-23 04:58:59 UTC
Tiberius Sunstealer wrote:
Deviana Sevidon wrote:
I wish I had some cybernetic implants.

You recieve a million of each Limited cybernetic implant and whenever you plug-in a cybernetic implant that isn't Limited, it turns into a Limited and deducts a billion ISK from your wallet.

I wish for a titan (because i'm an idiot).


A giant titan appears near your home and pulverizes it, along with your car and everything else in sight for hours until it is finally brought down by military aircraft firing missiles.

I wish I had remembered to set my skill queue before going to work. >.<

Charges Twilight fans with Ka-bar -Surfin's PlunderBunny LIIIIIIIIIIINNEEEEE PIIIEEEECCCCEEE!!!!!!! -Taedrin Using relativity to irrational numbers is smart -rodyas I no longer believe we landed on the moon. -Atticus Fynch

Xercodo
Cruor Angelicus
#51 - 2012-01-23 06:26:28 UTC  |  Edited by: Xercodo
VKhaun Vex wrote:


I wish I had remembered to set my skill queue before going to work. >.<


Granted, you queued up Jury Rigging 5, completely useless to you as you only need 4 to use T2 rigs or to train any other rig types. It's only purpose is for T3 subsystem manufacture.

You get home to find that your queue is stuck in this state and any attempt to petition it crashes EVE, petitions via the website cause an error on your browser, the forum eats all your posts about the issue.

The only posts that do get through are ones full of rage about everything but nothing specifically. You are banned because of several of these threads being marked as spam and ranting.

I wish I'd stop veering off the carrier skill plan :3

The Drake is a Lie

Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#52 - 2012-01-23 08:08:08 UTC  |  Edited by: Amaroq Dricaldari
Xercodo wrote:
VKhaun Vex wrote:


I wish I had remembered to set my skill queue before going to work. >.<


Granted, you queued up Jury Rigging 5, completely useless to you as you only need 4 to use T2 rigs or to train any other rig types. It's only purpose is for T3 subsystem manufacture.

You get home to find that your queue is stuck in this state and any attempt to petition it crashes EVE, petitions via the website cause an error on your browser, the forum eats all your posts about the issue.

The only posts that do get through are ones full of rage about everything but nothing specifically. You are banned because of several of these threads being marked as spam and ranting.

I wish I'd stop veering off the carrier skill plan :3


Wish granted, unfortunately you get podded twice in a row and forgot to re-upgrade your clone.

Trying to type with a Kindle Fire sucks (I had to use it to type that). I wish that I had a keyboard dock for the damn thing. And I want a Mechanicle Keyboard, not a crappy touchscreen one.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Umega
Solis Mensa
#53 - 2012-01-23 08:25:51 UTC
Amaroq Dricaldari wrote:
And I want a Mechanicle Keyboard, not a crappy touchscreen one.


Success. You get your mechanical keyboard and begin to type away with a content smile, a glint in your eyes from the pleasure.. until the 'I' key springs off the keyboard and hits you directly in the eye! 'The Irony!' You try to exclaim on your mechanical keyboard to your friends in EVE, but can't cause you have no more 'I' key to hit. While rolling on the ground in pain.. your most expensive ship gets blown up. Then you end up having to wear an eye patch.. and when you wear an eye patch you look tough.. and when you look tough.. ppl want to know how tough.. and when ppl want to know how tough, you end up in a road side ditch.

I wish I was a tree.
VKhaun Vex
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#54 - 2012-01-23 09:23:45 UTC
Umega wrote:
...'I' key springs off the keyboard and hits you directly in the eye! 'The Irony!'


I see what you did there.Pirate

Charges Twilight fans with Ka-bar -Surfin's PlunderBunny LIIIIIIIIIIINNEEEEE PIIIEEEECCCCEEE!!!!!!! -Taedrin Using relativity to irrational numbers is smart -rodyas I no longer believe we landed on the moon. -Atticus Fynch

Shalia Ripper
#55 - 2012-01-23 09:36:06 UTC
Umega wrote:

I wish I was a tree.


Wish granted, you are a stately tree, living happily in the forest until a server winter storm comes along. The freezing ice and feet of snow rip off all of your branches leaving you bare of all foliage. After the storm, a logger comes along, cuts you down and ships you to market. You are purchased by a large tampon manufacturer and are turned into a bloody mess. Eventually.

I wish I could fly.

Sig blah blah blah blah

W1rlW1nd
WirlWind
#56 - 2012-01-23 13:08:38 UTC  |  Edited by: W1rlW1nd
Shalia Ripper wrote:

I wish I could fly.



Wish granted. You are now a Velator, flying free through the vastness of space inside a video game called EVE. What joy and exhilaration as you look upon the boundless stars, so many new star systems and adventures beckon. The new player flying you decides to shoot at a gate to see what will happen. . . the gate guns blow you to bits in one shot.


I wish I had more money to pay my rent.
F'lix
AP Ventures Ltd.
#57 - 2012-01-23 21:58:27 UTC  |  Edited by: F'lix
W1rlW1nd wrote:
Shalia Ripper wrote:

I wish I could fly.



Wish granted. You are now a Velator, flying free through the vastness of space inside a video game called EVE. What joy and exhilaration as you look upon the boundless stars, so many new star systems and adventures beckon. The new player flying you decides to shoot at a gate to see what will happen. . . the gate guns blow you to bits in one shot.


I wish I had more money to pay my rent.


Success, but your ass will never quite recover and you walk worse than a bow-legged cowboy. You are then evicted because your neighbours complained of loud screaming for several nights.

I wish a small Orchestra followed me everywhere I went, making my life more epic with spontaneous theme music.

Shaytan Combine is Recruiting! All Pilots Welcome regardless of Skill level, Profession, or Bitterness level Visit http://goo.gl/Hstpv for details.

Zagam
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#58 - 2012-01-23 22:20:07 UTC
F'lix wrote:


Success, but your ass will never quite recover and you walk worse than a bow-legged cowboy. You are then evicted because your neighbours complained of loud screaming for several nights.

I wish a small Orchestra followed me everywhere I went, making my life more epic with spontaneous theme music.


The small orchestra follows you everywhere, but also guarantees you will never get laid. EVER.

I wish for a single day of intelligent posting on the EVE-O forums.
JordanParey
Quality Assurance
Straight for the Sun
#59 - 2012-01-23 22:31:56 UTC
Zagam wrote:
F'lix wrote:


Success, but your ass will never quite recover and you walk worse than a bow-legged cowboy. You are then evicted because your neighbours complained of loud screaming for several nights.

I wish a small Orchestra followed me everywhere I went, making my life more epic with spontaneous theme music.


The small orchestra follows you everywhere, but also guarantees you will never get laid. EVER.

I wish for a single day of intelligent posting on the EVE-O forums.


Wish granted, but everything posted is so far above your level of understanding that it causes blood to spontaneously erupt from any and all openings in your body. The pain of blood squirting from your eyes, nose, ears, mouth, ass, and peehole causes you to stop wanting to play Eve.

I wish for a single day of really STUPID posting on the Eve-O forums.
Amaroq Dricaldari
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#60 - 2012-01-23 23:14:12 UTC
Wish granted. Using the knowledge aquired from the day of intelligent posting, the Devs build a prototype Replicator, Teleporter, and Subliminal Message Device all powered by a Nuclear Reactor. Once they set it all up, they teleport a bunch of beer bottles to the desks of EVERYONE playing the game (except you) and use the subliminal message transmitter to forve everyone to get drunk on the booze. After they are all drunk, one of the devs randomly starts banning people from the game, and you are one of the people to randomly get banned.

I wish reverse psychology worked when I was trying to get people to help me with something.

This is my signature. There are many like it, but this one is mine.