These forums have been archived and are now read-only.

The new forums are live and can be found at https://forums.eveonline.com/

EVE General Discussion

 
  • Topic is locked indefinitely.
12Next page
 

Best Bios In Game... Whos Got Em?
Author
Previous Topic Next Topic
Eternus8lux8lucis
Guardians of the Gate
RAZOR Alliance
#1 - 2016-06-30 12:39:08 UTC
Post em, link em, share em.


Whats a good one you have seen in game that made you lol, rage or "squee" as my ex used to put it.


Psycho Yeti Bio

This one made me lol this morning.

Have you heard anything I've said?

You said it's all circling the drain, the whole universe. Right?

That's right.

Had to end sometime.
Smendrik Von'Smendle
HighSecers United
#2 - 2016-06-30 13:02:25 UTC
Oh you meant bio as in biography....I was about to post a link to a pic of big steaming pile of.....
Linus Gorp
Ministry of Propaganda and Morale
#3 - 2016-06-30 13:05:47 UTC
It's mine, of course.

Quote:

CCP Guard > We're up! Go go go! Kill all the spaceships!

Empress Honeybadger > Linus Gorp you are the epitome of the concept of bitter vet

Linus Gorp > Kill: Sin SoLeXX (Cyclone)
Nova Valentis > Linus Gorp was the fuel costs higher than the kill?
Linus Gorp > Fuel Conversation 5. So no.
Nova Valentis > conversation? hm?
Nova Valentis > are you the fuel whisperer? XD
lacoL > never knew it talked XD

Linus Gorp > The answer is bulkheads
Tellur Bor > You got a certain fetish for bulkheads dont you?
Linus Gorp > Me? no
Linus Gorp > But... Did you try fitting bulkheads?
Langbard Vafud > Is that a bulkhead in your lowslot or are you just happy to see me?

Thavir Arthenduil > everytime i see you, gulnar or masl in intel i just sit back and wait to laugh xD

Ashura Akiga > Linus never quits - he just pauses to let eve catch up

Tellur Bor > my keyboard is ****, even that piece of plastic is in conspiracy witht he gallente.


Thread can be closed now.

When you don't know the difference between there, their, and they're, you come across as being so uneducated that your viewpoint can be safely dismissed. The literate is unlikely to learn much from the illiterate.
Ezekielh
Last Stand Enterprises
New Miner's Union
#4 - 2016-06-30 14:20:08 UTC
Mine has great RP value!



Bio:

I hate Minmatars.

They're the lowest of the ******* low, the scum of the earth, the most wretched, servile, miserable, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization.

Some people hate the Amarr, but I don't. They're just wankers.

Minmatars, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers. They can't even pick a decent culture to be colonized by. They are ruled by effete arseholes.

It's a shite state of affair and all the fresh air in the world will not make any ******* difference.
Mister McQueen
BoomTime
House of Boom
#5 - 2016-06-30 14:39:49 UTC
Mine is a direct quote from Isaac Asimov's book "Second Foundation" but fits fairly well with the EVE universe.

"Thinking you were one of the Lords of the Galaxy; you suddenly find that you stand near to destruction. Naturally, you will resent the ivory tower in which you lived; the seclusion in which you were educated; the theories on which you were reared.
I once had that feeling. It is normal." - Isaac Asimov on the PvE to PvP transition.
Dirty Forum Alt
Forum Alts Anonymous
#6 - 2016-06-30 14:48:13 UTC
Linus Gorp wrote:
Thread can be closed now.

Afraid of the competition?

The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool. They lay. They rotted. They turned Around occasionally. Bits of flesh dropped off them from Time to time. And sank into the pool's mire. They also smelt a great deal.

Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings (Sussex)
Kirikarasu
R3D SHIFT
#7 - 2016-06-30 15:27:04 UTC
This was in my bio when I purchased the character from the Character Bazaar around 2009. I never removed it. I have nothing against the Goons personally, but the quote did give me a good chuckle, so I left it as a testament to the former owner. While not the funniest, it's gotten a few chuckles from corp mates and others throughout my time in New Eden.

[19:56:05] ceaser3 > Goonswarm are like maggits, one turns into many :)

[19:56:50] Kirikarasu > i thought goonswarm were like maggots because they eat sh** and garbage ;p
Yarosara Ruil
#8 - 2016-06-30 17:06:43 UTC
In this topic: people using their biography page not to describe their characters background and achievements, but to post memes and funny passages.

...

And I mean, you don't even have to go full roleplaying nerd for this, even an "I'm a former CEO of this other corporation" or maybe "I was in FW for a while but now I roam in Nullsec" would be wonderfully refreshing!

Alternatively, just post pirate damage/resistance charts, because those are always useful...
Gadget Helmsdottir
Gadget's Workshop
#9 - 2016-06-30 18:04:36 UTC
I can fix that!

Miners Creed
I must mine Rocks. Strips are the ore-killer. Strips are the little-death that brings me minerals. I will mine Rocks. I will turn the Rocks into useful minerals. And when it is done, I will turn the minerals into Stuff. Where the Rocks were there will be nothing. Only Stuff will remain.

Rock Poems:

Rock.
You are a rock.
Gray.
You are gray.
Like a rock.
Which you are.
Rock.

Rocks; these are my rocks.
Sediments: make me sedimental.
Smooth and round, asleep in the ground.
Shades of brown and gray...


Work smarter, not harder. --Scrooge McDuck

For you viewing pleasure...Gadget's Bio.
Can ya tell she like rocks?

--Gadget

Work smarter, not harder. --Scrooge McDuck, an eminent old-Earth economist

Given an hour to save New Eden, how would respected scientist, Albertus Eisenstein compose his thoughts? "Fifty-five minutes to define the problem; save the galaxy in five."
ShahFluffers
Ice Fire Warriors
#10 - 2016-06-30 19:21:12 UTC
Quote:
"At best, EVE is like speeding around in a stolen Ford Pinto... vintage cannonball cannon ducttaped to the roof... your arm around the shoulders of a dead hooker... and 20 guys armed with frying pans chasing you down on vespas. At worst... it's EXCEL spreadsheets in space."
~ Unknown
__

Sneaky Noob > ur my special snowflake
ShahFluffers > the helmet kind or romantic kind?
Sneaky Noob > lets put it this way
Sneaky Noob > when the zombie apocalypse happens i might mercy kill you
ShahFluffers > good enough for me!

ShahFluffers > And Annah has been playing for so long he is becoming senile
Annah Kitheran > becoming?
Wax Off > what do you mean becoming??
Wax Off > poor ****** has his underpants on backwards... and they are a thong
Annah Kitheran > THAT'S CHEESEWIRE ************


My bio is pretty much random quotes from my troop. Cool

How did you Veterans start?
Linus Gorp
Ministry of Propaganda and Morale
#11 - 2016-06-30 19:27:09 UTC  |  Edited by: Linus Gorp
Dirty Forum Alt wrote:
Linus Gorp wrote:
Thread can be closed now.

Afraid of the competition?

What competition?

When you don't know the difference between there, their, and they're, you come across as being so uneducated that your viewpoint can be safely dismissed. The literate is unlikely to learn much from the illiterate.
Trader20
Hedion University
Amarr Empire
#12 - 2016-06-30 19:34:47 UTC  |  Edited by: Trader20
Lyrics to songs, poems, and people who quote themselves are cringe. It isn't a good joke if you need to quote yourself or explain it.
Sustrai Aditua
Intandofisa
#13 - 2016-07-01 01:09:06 UTC  |  Edited by: Sustrai Aditua
Njengoba nje indaba ka ekuzingeleni
etshelwa iphisi, hayi ibhubesi,
kuyoba nomusa umzingeli.

My mining permit? Oh yes.
Here it is.

Translation? As long as the story of the hunt is told by the hunter, and not the lion it will favor the hunter.

If we get chased by zombies, I'm tripping you.
Vortexo VonBrenner
Doomheim
#14 - 2016-07-01 02:58:45 UTC
Smendrik Von'Smendle wrote:
Oh you meant bio as in biography....I was about to post a link to a pic of big steaming pile of.....

No politics, please!

EvE security zones in pictures

EvE quick reference pdf

EvE links
Hal Morsh
Doomheim
#15 - 2016-07-01 04:32:40 UTC  |  Edited by: Hal Morsh
James Cranakor > Why does my POS attack me?


Mari Camos > mostly all Gallente ships. They look like frozen pukes, strange butt plugs and potatoes.

Unsuccessful At Everything > When all other ships fall over in space, two will still be upright.

Paranoid Loyd > The Imicus was beaten with a forest of ugly trees for months and should die in a fire.

Lady Spank > There is a reason it has a cloaking device. I'm not so sure what the kickstand is for.


Furious StyIes > Im English, I cant read

Sabriz Adoudel > afk, cat is on fire again


Sanistaros


Hal Morsh > I never reported the guy and I don't know if he still logs on, but like I said I reported him.

Solecist Project > He seems a bit incoherent ....................
........ that last paragraph potato lettuce.

Hal Morsh > I put some pot in the nacho cheese cheese of those potatoes and put the cheese on the potatoes and I microwaved them.
Necessarily Drunk > My hero
Hal Morsh > I'm feeling it wooooouuuuhhhh
Arden Kar > Rofl. Cheese cheese.
Arden Kar > He flys better when he's stoned.

Kuru > This is one of the most disjointed streams of barely-sentient mental diarrhoea I have ever read.

Hal Morsh > Incursions force people to move and do other things, which I feel is good. Then again he might have an incursion alt, in which case it doesn't even matter and i'm sad again.

Karl Hobb > Pretty much anything that keeps people from mining is good.

Lugia3 > Good until it writes 20 pages of straw man.

Bigfootman > HI I WANT TO JOIN
Bigfootman > HOW TO JOIN
Vestion Stenier-Tian > **** off
Bigfootman > rofl

Just watch a spider kill a fly. Then a wasp kills a spider. Mantis eats two bees, and now an even bigger wasp is killing a mantis. Ants are just killing everything.

Vapor Ventrillian > death (with sprinkles)

CCP Falcon > I like spooning. Cuddles are the best.
CCP Logibro > Confirming he likes to cuddle. Also confirming I am a CCP Falcon alt.
CCP Logibro > ...wait a minute.


http://i.imgur.com/mRVPwfG.jpg

BoBoZoBo > What is the most it can cost you?
March rabbit > time which is money too
Elenahina > So when someone asks me how long it takes to drive to Chicago, I can say $306?
Elenahina > Cause if someone answered me that way, I'd punch them.

Frank Skeets > come back
Tom O'Neil > LET ME LOVE YOU
Statica Lowrie > LONG TIME
Russel Meade > NAKED
Mrwissan > IN BED


Katha Shavik > tacos taste best.
Daskalos Naviadan > but when do they tase best
Katha Shavik > usually when wet
Katha Shavik > i mean juicy
Katha Shavik > i mean ... nevermind

Ruddger > he was reinstalling windoes and said brb in 1-2 hours
Ruddger > and never came back lol
Ruddger > so im guessing it didnt go well


Hal Morsh > you're a game, they are playing it.
Norill Tempest > absolutely barbaric

Harbonah > Hal
Hal Morsh > that is till he finally launched warrior twos.
Harbonah > Hal
Gregor Bukandara > Hal Morsh are you a robot?
Harbonah > Hal
Boltorano > 10 mil to the next person who types "x" in chat and is named Hal.
Hal Morsh > x?
Hal Morsh > Is this a test?
Boltorano > Is this the real life?
Hal Morsh > I got mac and cheese.
voids > clearly a bot it wasnt just a x it was a wrong answer

Alexis Smythe > Anybody up to no good?
Hal Morsh > eve in a nutshell
Alexis Smythe > Ha

Burthos Kadeyooh > where the flashies at.
Hal Morsh > space
Burthos Kadeyooh > Everything is in space

Abrazzar > And one universal truth rings true in EVE: Don't kill yourself unless you are absolutely sure you know what you are doing.

Hal Morsh > anyone got a **** they could sell me?
Hal Morsh > gallente frigate or cruiser
Hal Morsh > ship*
Hal Morsh > not ****
Hal Morsh > :|
Nathan Ormande > I charge £10 for regular £20 for extra brown

Divine Entervention > Duh, it's because there's no gravity in space.
Divine Entervention > If there was, all the planets would fall down.


Mr Epeen wrote:
I really like the Myrmidon and I really like pirate faction ships.
If CCP managed to combine the two, I would personally go to the next fanfest and knob gobble the entire dev team.

Mr Epeen

Oh, I perfectly understand, Hal Morsh — a mission like this requires courage, skill, and heroism… qualities you are clearly lacking. Have you forgotten you're one of the bloody immortals!?
W33b3l
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#16 - 2016-07-01 04:48:06 UTC
Been this way for what seems like at least 5 years. Im wierd and dont like to change things.

_____________________________________________________________________________

I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD

#3 doesnt seem to like you for some reason, but one of the six might, ya never know.


WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

PEW PEW!!!!

Players with -2.0 or worse will be attacked in 1.0 systems
Players with -2.5 or worse will be attacked in 0.9 systems
Players with -3.0 or worse will be attacked in 0.8 systems
Players with -3.5 or worse will be attacked in 0.7 systems
Players with -4.0 or worse will be attacked in 0.6 systems
Players with -4.5 or worse will be attacked in 0.5 systems

______________________________________________________________________________
Kalpel
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#17 - 2016-07-01 06:10:48 UTC
Trader20 wrote:
Lyrics to songs, poems, and people who quote themselves are cringe. It isn't a good joke if you need to quote yourself or explain it.


exactly

You failed to target nothing! ≡v≡ online ... (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
Adoris Nolen
Sama Guild
#18 - 2016-07-01 10:05:18 UTC
If it wasn't for my horse, I never would have spent that year in college
--- Lewis Black
Bumblefck
Kerensky Initiatives
#19 - 2016-07-01 11:32:56 UTC
The only good biography is 'You can type your biography here'.

Perfection is a dish best served like wasabi .

Bumble's Space Log
Elmund Egivand
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#20 - 2016-07-01 16:18:41 UTC
My biography is a butchered song lyric.

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
12Next page