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A guide to Gallente culture, for the interstellar traveller

Author
Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour
#1 - 2016-01-14 19:58:34 UTC
The Gallente, from Gallente Prime, or, as it was first known, Gallentia, are of course one of the more numerous and well-known populations within New Eden.

Or so people think. However, much of what they think they know, is wrong.

WRONG !

Let us begin at the beginning, which is visual appearance of a Gallente.

Popularly, the Gallente are thought to dress in translucent plastic upper-thigh length microskirts, with low-cut translucent plastic corsets with plunging necklines designed to show off a lot of cleavage, with Gallente women wearing something similar, though usually co-ordinating with their hair colour.

Don't say such things in Gallente space, you'll sound like a god damn ignorant tourist, and the Gallente people will make remarks about your lack of sophistication behind your back.

The Mannar people, one of the other members of the Federation, are the people who brought translucent plastic to Gallente fashion, as well as body paint. The native Gallente fashion, while provocative, is quite different.

You may see a Gallente person wearing pieces of material that barely perform the two functions that clothing normally is designed for - i.e. keeping the weather out, and the naughty bits concealed. While this may seem outlandish and needlessly provocative, it is important to remember, that it is a particular fashion style.

The style is called "Avant Garde", which is Old Gallentian for "advance guard", which relates to the pre-spaceflight Gallentian armed forces. The Advance Guard, were elite units, trained to deploy ahead of the main body of the army, by methods such as parachutes, in order to secure key objectives. Famous Advance Guard units included the Parachute Fashion Regiment, who would drop into the war zone and criticise the dress sense of the enemy, reducing their will to fight, or the Pioneer Pastry Corps, who would set up niche bakeries specialising in very intricate baked goods, as a means of misdirection.

So, when you say to a Gallente, that you consider their outfit to be "Avant Garde", you are telling them that they appear to be ahead of trends, which is a high compliment in Gallente society.

To fit in, you should ensure that your clothes are tailored to the highest standards. A tight dress should be figure-hugging, but not make you look like a damn sausage tied with string.

In some places, holo-fashion is all the rage. This uses holo-generators to create the illusion of clothing over your body, concealing what you are, (or are not), wearing underneath. The intent is to tantalise the viewer - what if the power supply runs out ? Good heavens, she might be nude under there ! How exciting !

Thus, we can see, that Gallente fashion is provocative, appears in a number of styles, but translucent plastics are Mannar and referring to them as Gallente will mark you as an unsophisticated tourist.

The next major thing to know about the Gallente, is that they love to have and share opinions on things. Remember to talk at length, but not at depth, on the topic that is the subject of the conversation.

The most notable place where opinions are held, is the Federation Senate, where representatives of the population of the entire Federation meet to talk at great length at each other for hours on end. Some consider this a form of entertainment.

A popular topic for sharing opinions about, is the entertainment industry. This is one of the powerhouses of the Gallente economy. A truly staggering amount of holo-films are produced by the Federation every year, in all sorts of genres. The actors and actresses in these holo-films are quite the celebrity figures, and their goings-on are widely discussed in gossip magazines.

Another part of the entertainment industry is exotic dance, which manifests itself in a variety of forms. While in other parts of New Eden, exotic dance generally refers to semi or fully nude dancers, in the Federation, exotic dance includes the style of dance and the theme of the dance in the definition. One may see an exotic dance production of Uriam Kador's Invasion of Ratillose, for example, with dancers wearing grav-lift devices to simulate the weightlessness of space. You see, semi-nude flesh is rather ordinary, so in the Federation, it takes quite a bit more to be 'exotic' dance.

Of course, one cannot discuss Gallente culture, without reference to the ubiquitous soft drink, Quafe. While often thought to be the urine of Molok the Deceiver himself, it is in fact made from a range of different fruits grown across Gallente space. Several different flavours of Quafe exist, allowing the consumer to choose the exact kind of sticky, slightly chemically-tasting beverage they wish to consume.

And thusly, armed with this knowledge, Gallente culture is yours to explore in greater detail, should you so wish. The native Gallente will be delighted to assist you in exploring Gallente culture, as acting as your guide allows them to share their opinion about things with you, at considerable length.

Remember, dress provocatively, share your opinion at length, and have fun !


Exam Questions:

1. ) Oh, you're wearing those shoes with that dress ? Really ?
2. ) Isn't that, that famous holo-actress over there ? You know, in that 'art' film ?
3. ) Why not try the cool, refreshing taste of Quafe today ?

Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.

Utari Onzo
PIE Inc.
Khimi Harar
#2 - 2016-01-14 19:59:48 UTC
I can't wait for the release of "Jove and Jove Culture - For Dummies"

"Face the enemy as a solid wall For faith is your armor And through it, the enemy will find no breach Wrap your arms around the enemy For faith is your fire And with it, burn away his evil"

Charles Cambridge Schmidt
Nadire Security Consultants
#3 - 2016-01-14 20:29:27 UTC
The "avant garde" culture of the Gallente isn't only about wearing skimpy junk or bodymodding yourself to look like a Sabik monster. It's about paving your own truth and way both in fashion and in culture, carving your own mark through sheer stubbornness. In my case, I strictly adhere to the notion that my head should be the only skin visible on my person, and as such, I wear full coverage at all times. Why, you ask? Because **** you, I guess.

I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.

Valerie Valate
Church of The Crimson Saviour
#4 - 2016-01-14 22:45:58 UTC
Charles Cambridge Schmidt wrote:
The "avant garde" culture of the Gallente isn't only about wearing skimpy junk or bodymodding yourself to look like a Sabik monster. It's about paving your own truth and way both in fashion and in culture, carving your own mark through sheer stubbornness. In my case, I strictly adhere to the notion that my head should be the only skin visible on my person, and as such, I wear full coverage at all times. Why, you ask? Because **** you, I guess.


Provoking by remaining covered up ?

How Avant Garde.

Doctor V. Valate, Professor of Archaeology at Kaztropolis Imperial University.

James Syagrius
Chatelain Auxiliary Response
Intaki-Business Logistics Union
#5 - 2016-01-14 23:16:39 UTC
~Brushes a bit of lint off his coat, smoothing out any wrinkles before checking his hair then adjusting his posture.~

" The very idea that Gallente are overly concerned with their appearance is absolute nonsense."
Deitra Vess
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#6 - 2016-01-14 23:21:52 UTC
LIES!
Elmund Egivand
Sebestacny Circle
#7 - 2016-01-15 01:52:35 UTC  |  Edited by: Elmund Egivand
You forgot to mention the snails they serve up as food.

Also wine.

And their love of taking everybody's cultural food and add their own spin to them and then proceed to ruin everything remotely good about said cultural food.

Like coffee. Too much milk! Less care for the flavour and more care for the foam shaped to look like a leaping furrier! And that flatbread of Brutor origin! The Gallente are adding cheese toppings onto it!

Fricking bollocks!

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.

Skyweir Kinnison
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#8 - 2016-01-15 08:24:00 UTC  |  Edited by: Skyweir Kinnison
Valerie Valate wrote:
Famous Advance Guard units included the Parachute Fashion Regiment, who would drop into the war zone and criticise the dress sense of the enemy, reducing their will to fight, or the Pioneer Pastry Corps, who would set up niche bakeries specialising in very intricate baked goods, as a means of misdirection.


Very true, darling. Significant sections of the Caldari militia have never recovered, judging by their obsession with dreary polyester turtlenecks and basin haircuts.

"Let them eat cake!"

Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country.

Diana Kim
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#9 - 2016-01-15 10:54:21 UTC
Valerie Valate wrote:

The Mannar people, one of the other members of the Federation, are the people who brought translucent plastic to Gallente fashion, as well as body paint. The native Gallente fashion, while provocative, is quite different.

You may see a Gallente person wearing pieces of material that barely perform the two functions that clothing normally is designed for - i.e. keeping the weather out, and the naughty bits concealed. While this may seem outlandish and needlessly provocative, it is important to remember, that it is a particular fashion style.

I find it hard to believe, since it is gallentes who are swines in clothes, not Mannar.
Probably Mannar did such disgracing clothes under gallentean influence anyway.

Valerie Valate wrote:

In some places, holo-fashion is all the rage. This uses holo-generators to create the illusion of clothing over your body, concealing what you are, (or are not), wearing underneath. The intent is to tantalise the viewer - what if the power supply runs out ? Good heavens, she might be nude under there ! How exciting !

I don't think there is something exciting. It is disgusting perversion.
And if it is provocative, then it provokes only for me to grab my handgun and spill their empty brains out.

Valerie Valate wrote:

The next major thing to know about the Gallente, is that they love to have and share opinions on things. Remember to talk at length, but not at depth, on the topic that is the subject of the conversation.

This is a serious problem when you should deal with them. Their speeches are lengthy, but lack understanding. They don't understand words they operate with. And when you will try to dig into their convictions and discuss the basis, for example concepts of freedom, they freak out and start call you bad names. I think the IGS is an excellent example of this. Just look up at their replies when I was trying to write philosophical ideas about freedom and similar stuff.

Valerie Valate wrote:

A popular topic for sharing opinions about, is the entertainment industry. This is one of the powerhouses of the Gallente economy. A truly staggering amount of holo-films are produced by the Federation every year, in all sorts of genres. The actors and actresses in these holo-films are quite the celebrity figures, and their goings-on are widely discussed in gossip magazines.

This entertainment industry is also one of their main weapons. They plug their propaganda in every holo-film they create. And while others just watch them and enjoy the show, they also absorb gallentean society directives. For example, that individualism is good, that freedom is good, that democracy is good. They accept them as given without even trying to comprehend them. Heroes in their holo-movies are usual incompetent deviants with twisted pseudo-"good" morals, while their "villains" are just professionals, with exception being very bizzare movies, where their villains are even dumber than their heroes, which is... a rare event.

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.

IbanezLaney
The Church of Awesome
Awesome Alliance
#10 - 2016-01-15 11:09:09 UTC
Skyweir Kinnison wrote:
judging by their obsession with dreary polyester turtlenecks and basin haircuts.




You are right about the haircuts,

Caldari with good haircuts are about as common as Gallente women without STIs.

But - Caldari don't care about these things because we have the best Sunglasses.

trenny jr
Black Omega Security
Pandemic Horde
#11 - 2016-01-15 11:16:04 UTC  |  Edited by: trenny jr
Don't worry if you don't know the current trends within the federation, they will be sure to ram it down your throat while telling you how terribly uncivilised you are.