Intergalactic Summit

Over the past year I have been leading raids into Providence and Amarr with the express intent of collecting Amarr slaves. As of late I have been forced to take a break from my usual pillaging, and can now sit back and truly appreciate how freakin awesome the Amarr perform this role.

This is a picture of a few Amarrians "Rowing" my Vagabond

What is actually happening there is they are using manual labor to keep the main reactor's coolant pumps flowing. This process is remarkably energy efficient, which allows me to dedicate more energy to the ships MWD. This in turn increases it's over all speed. Naturally this is a rudimentary modification, but I hope to see many more innovations like this as time passes!



A Word On Amarr Slaves

These faithful little bastards never tire! Who would have thought? I have been experimenting with enslaving many races, but by far the Amarr are the best of the lot. I contribute this behavior to my own personal style of behavior modification. When they sleep I simply have these words broadcasted into their slave chamber "God wants you to row! Row!" the louder the better. Once you have achieved enough sleep deprivation, a kind of hysterical lunacy follows that makes their minds more receptive to the behavior modification.

I recall how I walked by one of these lesser creatures, and he referred to me as god before asking me for a biscuit. I did enjoy being called god, and ofc since I had no biscuit, I slapped him with the back of me hand! He asked me why I smite him, and I told him that he was not rowing fast enough. Every since then, that little bugger is rowing like he is in the Olympics.




In Conclusion

If you are looking for slaves, I highly encourage you to look towards the less defended areas of Providence and Amarr. Also, I have found it easy to collect a few additional slaves in between Sansha raids, since Concord is so preoccupied with the true nation. I will happily provide any details to anyone who wishes to hear more. For a small fee, I will even share my behavioral modification audio files, one of which includes a small video file of me sitting in my captain's chair naked and singing my very own rendition of Poker Face. Edit: Link to OOC material removed, CCP Phantom.




Thank you everyone, I should have more updates for you as these experiments unfold.
I may begin dissecting the amarr brain as well, to see how it differs from the brains of supposedly "lesser races". This should be interesting! Fly dangerously!

Pfff. I own Amarrian slaves myself... so what? A slave is a slave...

I do enjoy the sense of irony Captain Praetorian shows with that post.

Humiliation, revenge or need for cheap labour.

Either of those or a mix of the three are most likely.

It does not matter what you condone.


Like all masters of "lesser beings" I desire as much efficiency as possible as cheaply as possible, and with the least amount of effort and thought on my part. Sure... i suppose the coolant could be cycled by a machine that could do the work of 3 dozen slaves, but this is just so much cheaper.


I could purchase a hyper-efficient coolant pump with a quantum radiant power core rated at 100M years... but that cost ISK. With slaves I can just swoop on down to an unsuspecting group of Amarrians, and once captured let them bake in my isolation chamber for a few weeks. Once sleep deprived and properly driven mad by my soon to be patented techniques, they will row like the mad men they are in a vein attempt to hang on to what remains of their pitiful lives.



It is easy.
It is cheap.

What is not to love?

So I'm to understand feeding, clothing, and cleaning up after a team of slaves is cheaper than a mechanical pump? I think you might want to do a bit more research on various methods and prices and at least be honest with yourself about your reasoning.

You also aren't the first person to own Amarrian slaves and exploit their faith as a means of control and motivation. In fact I'd be willing to bet the entire balance of my wallet at this very moment that other Amarrians beat you to that by thousands, if not tens of thousands of years. The same goes for your (soon to be patented) indoctrination techniques.

You are doing nothing special or noteworthy and in your attempt to extract some small, and entirely inadequate measure of justice or earn your allotted fifteen minutes of fame, you have become exactly that which you loath. So congratulations, you are exactly the sort of slaver that even the Amarr would look down upon, self deluded, arrogant, and cruel.

Um.. I don't clean up after them, there is a grill beneath the slave chambers that they defecate through. Also, how much gruel do you think a few million ISK will buy? Yea... exactly. I can save tons of isk by buying gruel rations and dividing it up between the starving masses. I don't know what your trying to sell...



Speaking of selling...



My unique brand of mind altering and faith inducing madness is to my knowledge the first of it's kind. If you feel that others have come before me, please site your source with an appropriate link. Remember, it is patent pending and I am currently taking pre-orders. Feel free to contact me via EVE Mail anytime for pricing and special deals. Again Amarr slaves are not included in your purchase, but included will be instructions on how to go out and find your own.

This is simply unacceptable and a horrible abuse of anything with any level of self-awareness. True Amarr are no more deserving of this than anyone else, regardless what their ancestors have done or what their society causes them to do.

I'm sure this "clever" utilization of humans would not be nearly so cost-effective were they given the right to leave and pursue other work and you were required to pay more than what it costs to keep them alive and moving.

If this is intended as a joke, then I can't apologize for not finding this funny.

Laziness and delusion proudly displayed by the same Capsuleer...if only it were less common.

This...individual..is unworthy of the name Minmatar. He brings shame upon his tribe and clan, assuming of course that both didn't disown him years ago.

Believing that this particular thread would fade away because people would chose not to dignify it with a response, the Disciples of Ston have refrained from commenting on it. However, because of a recent comment we read elsewhere, we have come to see that our cluster is full of such people as Mr. Praetorian. It pains us to further the visibility of this thread, yet we are duty bound to make a stand against Mr. Praetorian and his animal-like mind and motivations.

Therefore: The Disciples of Ston do condemn and oppose slavery of any race, including the capture and enslavement of citizens of nations that endorse and practice slavery. Revenge will never solve our problems. Slavery is conquered by freedom and liberty, not by more slavery.