EVE General Discussion

Burnt toast yet again this morn, Its not even funny when you weigh in the indigestion factor, like I mean there are some well fed cats out there and I'm expected to compete on the back of burnt toast, man you cant even make this sheet up.

For an insane person, probably.

Dear Lan,



This is an interesting situation. I can assume from the use of 'naked', 'dirt', 'garden' and 'carrot' (whatever that may be; remember that in New Eden not many of Earth's original flora has survived!), that you're experiencing a kind of nostalgic push towards a pre-interstellar-flight kind of self-renewal.

You wish to return - however briefly - to a terrestrial environment, no longer contained in a Jovian pod and ensconced in a spaceship. I think I can help. I hear DUST allows capsuleers to return to planetary surfaces, and you might even be able to meet others in the same position! I also hear they wear fancy outfits though, which might not jazz with your naturalist desire.


All my love,


Uncle Bumble

It's this thing that people do to ships when they're really bored.

Dear Orla,


This is a truly delicate situation, and thank you for trusting me with it!


Where does accident begin, and love end? While some might harbour nefarious thoughts while considering your dilemma, I would rather take the positive road in this quandary and say that perhaps this might be a blessing in disguise. While I am not a xenobiologist and cannot therefore comment on the desirability or even practicality of inter-species reproduction, I am sure that this is a medical miracle in any sense of the word, and would therefore suggest that you embrace it as a blessing (in feedo disguise), and you should therefore immediately get married to the feedo in question.

I would insist, though, that you settle down in Gallente space. I hear the Amarr wouldn't take to your partnership very kindly...


Yours with love and blessings,


Uncle Bumble

Dear Tisiphone,



Let me tell you a story.


There was once a fantastically ugly Amarr slaver. He was very possibly the ugliest human being ever to have existed, but, because of his disadvantage, he worked himself tirelessly to excel in his field in order to compensate. At the end of his days, he died extremely wealthy and with the respect of his peers...but he was still breathtakingly ugly and disfigured.

I don't know if there's a moral there, but I just wanted to tell that story.

Anyway, I hear that the jump clone bays now offer the possibility of genetic morphological resculpting - for a fee in AURUM, of course - so, if you believe that your head isn't screwed on straight, you could get it fixed there.

However, I'm a positive-thinking kind of Agony Uncle, and I think this can only be a good thing! In your space-comms picture next to your message, it looks like you're slyly and entrancingly looking at my over your shoulder - smouldering! Take it as a sign that your raw capsuleer energy is too much for most people - maybe you just need to find the right one!

Remember - getting pretty is better than getting even!


LoL (lots of love),

Uncle Bumble

..attempting to upload Black Pudding to my EvE client now, neither the 404's nor the lack of Gaviscon will deter me in this endeavor.

However I am becoming moderately concerned at the fines incurred unto me from the Amaar empire in transporting "illegal goods" through Amaar space, can you please arrange for Jamyl to reveal her new clone and grant me dispensation in transporting this culinary delight to the greater unwashed ?

TIA

Dear Faenir,



I have sent a space-message to Jamyl - I can't guarantee she'll answer though!



HTH,

Uncle Bumble

Dear, dear Faenir,




You might say that couch rentals are...astronomically expensive in New Eden!


With regards to Bubble and Squeak (I assume it is a foodstuff of some sort!), you can get it across the border but you must conceal it in the ore bay of a Miasmos - that's the only way to slip it past the Imperial Customs folks. There's something in the hull plating that shields exotic foods from scanner pings...or so I'm told.


May your new positive outlook endure from your capsule, to the rest of the cluster!


Sweet regards,

Uncle Bumble

Dear Salvos,



As an old friend once told me, "there is no wrong or right - there's only forum might".


You say posting with your main (yourself, I presume?) was your cardinal mistake, but I'd like to think of it as being your greatest strength. If nothing else, and in this regard, people will look up to you and think "Wow, that's a guy who's not afraid of hiding behind someone else when he speaks his mind!". That's pretty impressive, if you ask me!


But to your question at hand!

There is only one thing to do in this case, and that is to stand up for your right to shiptoast where and whenever you please...this is not just about the New Eden news forums, it is about your right to express yourself as an individual capsuleer!

To make your stand, I would suggest proactively wardeccing EVERYBODY in New Eden (or duelling/ganking them if they aren't part of a corp), and include the message "I'm fighting for my right to say nonsense in public venues without there being any basis of fact or truth to the matters, and this violence I am extending towards you is a gesture of self-defence and you would have meted out exactly the same thing to me if you'd had the initiative, so really you're just jealous that I thought of it first". That should suffice in asserting your right to exist!

Then, once you've beaten everyone into submission, you're free to join whichever corporation you would like!


Hope this helps my dear friend, fly safe in these turbulent times!


Uncle Bumble