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How to tell your girl friend she is a fat ass

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Serene Repose
#21 - 2011-12-07 07:21:38 UTC
Girls always keep that pair of jeans they used to look good in. They're always there at the bottom of the pile. You've seen them, and wondered why she's kept them for so long. They're there to remind her that one day "I'll fit into these again."

The question then becomes, "How do I get my GF to fit into her old jeans again?" This is much easier than telling someone they're fat. She obviously knows she's fat or she wouldn't still have that pair of jeans on the shelf. She'd be wearing them and she knows it. Therefore, you don't really need to TELL her she's gotten fat. She knows.

The idea of suddenly being taken by a fit of physical fitness sounds like the best idea. It also covers "we never do anything as a couple." (A couple of what? But, THAT's another story.)

I vote for the "WE'RE gonna exercise" approach. Start out slow, and work your way up. Walk before you run. You get the idea. AND, be ready with those compliments. It's encouraging. But, I'll give you a hint. When the thing is at last up and running at speed, you'll want to quit before she does.

Next thing you know, we'll be answering a post with this title: How can I tell my BF he's lazy without hurting his feelings?

:-)

We must accommodate the idiocracy.
Zimmy Zeta
Perkone
Caldari State
#22 - 2011-12-07 08:02:36 UTC
OK, if OP wanted some sane advice, he wouldn't have come here, so I will go along with you and devise you the ultimate plan.
You will need some money, though.
First thing is take a look at her clothes.. best is to take a photo of every single pant with your mobile phone. With these pictures, go shopping. Buy the same pants she owns, only several sizes smaller and replace them.
Next thing is talking to the kids in the neighbourhood. This will come you rather cheap. For a few bucks, they might agree to giggle every time your GF passes them or even make funny faces like blowing up cheeks etc.
During all this time it is VERY important that you still comfort her, and tell her that you like her just as she is, and you love every single pound of her.
Step three would be to manipulate the scales to show a higher weight as has been mentioned before already.
Step four is secretly telling around that she is pregnant, so that people will come up to her and congratulate her.
Give her lirne blossom tea every evening before going to bed- this will make her sweat more. Also, place small, hard items under the mattress on her side of the bed- so she will experience increasing back pains.

Last step..if everything before failed (unlikely as it is): talk to her best friend, tell her that she was slagging her off, telling that she thinks she has anorexia and probably takes laxatives and pukes after every meal. If you do it right, her best friend will become infuriated, call her up and tell her that she is a fat b+tch.

Problem solved.

I'd like to apologize for the poor quality of the post above and sincerely hope you didn't waste your time reading it. Yes, I do feel bad about it.
Alara IonStorm
#23 - 2011-12-07 08:08:51 UTC
The EVE O Forums.

Working to undue the Dove Real Beauty Campaign one post at a time.
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#24 - 2011-12-07 08:13:57 UTC
Alara IonStorm wrote:
The EVE O Forums.

Working to undue the Dove Real Beauty Campaign one post at a time.


Look, real beauty doesn't include whales or anything shaped like a hippo

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
CCP Spitfire
C C P
C C P Alliance
#25 - 2011-12-07 09:26:44 UTC
Offtopic, thread locked.

CCP Spitfire | Marketing & Sales Team @ccp_spitfire
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