EVE New Citizens Q&A

Yes, it's gotten so bad that it also affects online socialization for me.
It seems that finding a good corporation is extremely important, looking at the game it makes sense.
But when your me anything with other people is impossible, every game I play I play solo. Star wars old republic, elder scrolls online etc.

And since I hear social anxiety is such a common disorder, thought someone on here might have the same issue and got around it. What I'm asking is how did you deal with it? Did you somehow find a corporation who understood? And yes I am being pathetic for asking this.

You are not pathetic, I think everyone has social anxiety, we all just deal with it differently, some of us better than others.

People will always be judging and scrutinizing you, the thing you have to realize is it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you, it only matters what you think of yourself. If you have a problem with yourself you need to identify what that is and come up with a solution to it or at least get it under control.

You already took the first step to solving it by admitting to yourself it is a problem. Now you need to come up with a solution. To me the obvious solution is to force yourself to talk to people even though it is not a comfortable thing to do. If you are like me you are terrible at making small talk. That is the great thing about this environment, small talk is easy, just ask questions about the game and relationships will grow naturally over time.

Everyone playing EVE is a massive nerd of some kind or another. You have nothing to worry about.

Also recall that the players in EVE are also the content, the most challenging obstacles and interesting opponents are human ones and the means to overcome those obstacles are also other players.

You can play the game with other people without being on their side. There's still some fun to be had in fighting them, tricking them, stealing from them, evading/escaping them, trading with them, and so forth. Just think of them as the best damn AI enemies of any computer game.

pretend you're someone else. I know it sounds weird but roleplaying genuinely helps with this kind of stuff

you don't have to talk to other people to shoot them.

I don't think that anyone would argue that shooting some one is equivalent to being social. So just run around and shoot people and be very very anti-social. Problem solved.

We should have a talk ingame, maybe I can help you a bit.

I won't be on until .......

.........

.... sheesh, in 12h by chance .....

....... WHERE IS MY LIFE GOING D: ....

.... and I'll convo you when I see you. :)

I've been struggling with social anxiety and other problems for a very long time. It comes and goes with varying intensity; sometimes I just can't stand people for months at a time. Yet, I find EVE has been a help to me in the last year. I started playing last July at a bit of a lowpoint in my life (so far). The extremely niche nature of this game seems to foster a lot of camaraderie. As others mentioned, small talk is easy here, because of how deep this crazy game is.

• "What does this doohickey do?"


• "Hey, mind scouting out that gate for me?"


• "OMG I'M TACKLED! HAAAAAAALLLP!1!!1!1!!!

Things like that and 149672450785108121 others will be jump off points to easy social interaction *most* of the time. Obviously, your and other's personalities will factor into that, sometimes you just don't like each other.

The challenging nature of the game is also something I've found enthralling, especially since "figuring out" real life has been a bit difficult for me thus far. The cold brutality and harshness, in the context of a game, means that your successes in EVE, while not life changing by any means, will still be incredibly satisfying.

Interestingly, though EVE is known for it's afore-mentioned harshness, it's also the only online game I've ever played where I felt compelled and actually encouraged to work with other people. I think that's why EVE is actually the best online game for those with social anxiety. It's a challenging environment that unobtrusively encourages social interaction and teamwork, all in the context of an online game. As long as one remembers that this is indeed just a game, I can think of no better MMO for the socially awkward/anxious.


TL;DR:

I think EVE is the best MMO for you because it challenges and forces you to interact with people, in an organic way, in a "safe" and very compelling setting, filled with people sharing similar interests. This is all quite subjective of course, but I think you should give it a shot.

I hope our comments can convince you to give EVE a fair shake. It really is worth it!

EDIT: got a little personal there..

Well some of us have more social anxiety than others. I am not going to go into my issues on here but suffice to say that I am "disabled."

It is true that if you want to really play EVE, to PVP and not just be a lousy carebear, you pretty much need to join a corp, get on comms and fly with others. But there are ways to remain in the background without social pressure. I would consider joining one of the larger corps/alliances that have frequent large fleets that you can simply join and stay in the background. Most of the time you can get by with just listening, without your mike being hot at all. Maybe occasionally you will have a better day and you might interact a little more, or fill a role that requires more social interaction like a scout or even FC. Smaller corps will generally force more conversation on you, and probably make you uncomfortable.

If you are new to PVP, I would suggest RvB, they have constant fleets you can join, and if you never say a word to anyone, no one will ever even notice. I've also found such a place in a CVA Alliance corp, the various Providence region (nullsec) allied fleets are frequent and you can remain anonymous in them. Both these suggestions are from personal experience, and I have racked up over 1500 kills in just a few months between a couple characters, neither of which are this forum alt. I am a newer player of about 8 months, only PvPing during the last half. It took me awhile to find a corp where I could feel comfortable enough to get involved. Perhaps my suggestions will help get you around some of the trial and error I went through.

You can send me message, if you are sincere, for more info or suggestions. I do OK talking 1 on 1 with people, its the group thing that is bad for me.

I wouldn't say I have social *anxiety*, but I am rather averse to large groups. First, I often don't have anything I'd consider interesting to say, and second by the time I do have something I'm never able to get into the conversation to say it. (I think I think slowly, so even if I have a response right away somebody else is already halfway through their own response by the time I'm ready to speak.) So for RL gatherings of large groups, I'd rather just stay away. It's not anxiety, it's that I find them rather uninteresting/unrewarding for me.

Despite this though, I've been playing EVE for over a year now with a large-ish group, and have been really enjoying it. Mostly I listen on comms and rarely speak, and when I do have something to say I use the asynchronous nature of text chat to offer my comment that way. I can think about and type and edit my response while others are talking or typing, then submit it when I'm ready. If I'm being addressed directly though, it's easy enough to respond via voice.

I've even been FC a few times. That doesn't involve a lot of back-and-forth chitchat which I'm bad at. (Which isn't to say that I'm a *good* FC, just that I *can* do it, and even enjoy it. :) )

The group I play with, by the way, I found through semi-random chance. I picked CAS as my starter corp during account creation, and it turns out there are a lot of active veterans in CAS who like to help out newbies like I was. They're cool with me interacting as much or as little as I want. I was starting to get bored with EVE prior to learning of this group, and would have quit without them. EVE is the only MMO I've ever tried out. All my other gaming had been single-player games.

Anyway, I have no idea what form your social anxiety takes, or whether emulating my usage of text chat to get around my issues can help you any, but hopefully you can figure things out. Sorry I don't have better advice on how to find an accepting group to play with - I just lucked in to it.