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My EVE

 
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You know you're obsessed with EVE when...

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Alessienne Ellecon
Doomheim
#1 - 2015-03-02 16:57:41 UTC  |  Edited by: Alessienne Ellecon
(feel free to add to this)



  1. You've been arrested for attempting to abscond from a local quarry with a load of rock in the back of your utility vehicle. Bonus points for insisting that you were "just mining like everyone else".
  2. CCP staff have had numerous phone, email, Twitter, Facebook and Skype conversations with you.
  3. CCP staff have had numerous restraining orders put on you.
  4. You have tried to argue with a financial expert using EVE economics.
  5. You have cosplayed as your toon. Bonus points for a character of the opposite gender.
  6. You look down on people who rabidly support sports teams, but woe betide anyone who disses your corp.
  7. You refer to your house/other dwelling as a POS.
  8. You find someone who resembles your toon in real life and make a complete tool of yourself in front of them. Bonus points if they break out the pepper spray.
  9. You have nightmares about dying as a capsuleer.
  10. You learn French (or dust off your existing vocabulary) just so you can get the full Gallente experience. (University of Caille players will know exactly what I'm talking about.)
  11. You listen to pop music in a language you don't speak while playing EVE and pretend you're listening to Gallentean tunes.
  12. People make fun of your beat-up car and you proudly tell them "In Rust We Trust"
  13. You live month-to-month in a tiny apartment, yet consider yourself wealthy because you have tens of billions of ISK.
  14. You drive a compact car and refer to it affectionately as your rookie.
  15. You offer homeless people rides... then dump them unceremoniously at a service station across town, telling them "you're someone else's problem now".
  16. You ask the Salvation Army for ship blueprints.
  17. You ask your boss how many loyalty points you've earned.
  18. You wonder what Aura looks like naked.
  19. You go into the stock market because of EVE.
  20. You've ever asked Dr. Eyjólfur Guðmundsson for stock tips.
  21. You try to purchase liquid ozone to make fuel.
  22. You toss tiny handmade resin models of combat probes around a crowded room before entering.
  23. You get beaten up at a nightclub for whatever reason and your statement to the police is "I got ganked in nullsec by a gate camp"
  24. You refer to the police as CONCORD, getting arrested as CONCORDED, and getting maced by an officer as a CONCORDDOKEN!
  25. You try to purchase a police vehicle because it's cheaper than buying a police ship in EVE.
  26. You get into a dispute with your neighbour and stuff a wardec in his mailbox.
  27. You contact a local biker gang and put a bounty on someone you don't like.
  28. You're sitting in traffic and desperately wish for a jump drive.
  29. You've ever wondered how long capsuleers can go without showering or grooming.
  30. You've ever neglected personal hygiene in order to test the above.
  31. Someone tells you "stupidity is not a survival trait" and you reply "doesn't matter if you're a capsuleer".
  32. You get explosively angry at any mention of the word "goon".
  33. You try to come up with a homebrew recipe for Quafe, Quafe Ultra or Quafe Zero.
  34. You successfully come up with a Quafe recipe and insist that it is the real thing.
  35. Every time you push the accelerator (gas) pedal in your car you hear Aura saying "warp drive active" in your head.
  36. Every time you leave your car you see the words CAPSULE EJECTED in your field of vision.
  37. You name your house/apartment/trailer/dwelling after your favourite system.
  38. You've ever hit on a player with a character of your preferred gender.
  39. You've ever imagined someone's toon naked.
  40. You've seriously considered having capsuleer bioports tattooed on your neck and back.
  41. You've lost something down a drainpipe and wished for a tractor beam.
  42. You've shaved your head and fitted a homemade version of one of those metal head appliances for daily wear.
  43. Your business class presentation involves the Caldari State.
  44. You write YC 119 instead of 2015 when dating documents.
  45. You tell your doctor that you just need some Frentix and you'll be as good as gold.
  46. You ask your pharmacist for some Nerve Sticks.
  47. You've bought anything from the New Eden store. Bonus points if it's clothing or one of those monocles.
branodn lee
kadian blades
#2 - 2015-03-02 17:36:44 UTC
then I have been obsessed with eve since 2003. I feel my life would end if eve does. My life is intangled with being a eveyion.
Liafcipe9000
Critically Preposterous
#3 - 2015-03-03 10:29:38 UTC
when you start *THIS* thread.
Alessienne Ellecon
Doomheim
#4 - 2015-03-06 17:46:19 UTC  |  Edited by: Alessienne Ellecon
^ that sounds about right Big smile


48. You've ever tried to introduce people you know to the game, just so you could add more members to your corp.
49. You've renamed your dog "Retriever" and put little piles of dry food around the house for him to 'mine'.
50. Your significant other isn't happy about being a shoo-in spokesperson for your corp when things go belly-up.
51. You write EVE fanfiction.
52. You write EVE fanfiction starring other members of your corp.
53. You build a pillow fort and refer to it as your capsule. Bonus points for eating, sleeping and... doing other things in it.
54. Someone ganked you and you've seriously considered having them murdered in real life.
55. You've offered to pay your friends for favours in ISK, PLEX or Aurum.
56. You've offered to pay your friends for stuff they make and sell IRL in ISK, PLEX or Aurum.
57. You have a motorcycle jacket with your corp logo monogrammed on the back.
58. You have the Amarr Empire, Gallente Federation, Caldari State or Minmatar Republic emblems tattooed somewhere on you.
59. You've enquired about having brain implants installed.
60. You can roughly guess where someone is from the words they use in chat.
61. Your definition of trolling includes "discussing really bad fits"
62. You know that the consequences of tampering with player memorials makes CONCORDDOKEN seem like a slap on the wrist.
Paranoid Loyd
#5 - 2015-03-06 21:29:03 UTC
When you start orbiting your opponent in a bar fight.

"There is only one authority in this game, and that my friend is violence. The supreme authority upon which all other authority is derived." ISD Max Trix

Fix the Prospect!
Arcos Vandymion
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#6 - 2015-03-09 20:49:14 UTC
Alessienne Ellecon wrote:
(feel free to add to this)



  1. You wonder what Aura looks like naked.

I've been insisting since they've been released that Aura needs a 3D full body view. She's the only agent without one as far as I know.


Paranoid Loyd wrote:
When you start orbiting your opponent in a bar fight.

Martial Arts 101? I wouldn't know one where footwork and positioning isn't basics ^^
ISD Decoy
ISD Community Communications Liaisons
ISD Alliance
#7 - 2015-03-09 22:19:07 UTC
This is a golden thread. I shall watch thee with anticipation while I drink my Quafe and pet my Rifter model.

ISD Decoy

Captain

Community Communication Liaisons (CCLs)

Interstellar Services Department
Alessienne Ellecon
Doomheim
#8 - 2015-03-09 23:56:35 UTC
When fighting someone bigger than you, you run away from them while pelting them with rocks.
Your girlfriend is pleasantly confused about being called "Empress" while doing the horizontal tango.
You hear about your county's navy rolling out a new warship and think "I wonder if it's a Megathron this time..."
You've spent so much time around people of a certain nationality in corp chat that it's affecting your native accent.
Gimme Sake
State War Academy
Caldari State
#9 - 2015-03-10 01:08:30 UTC  |  Edited by: Gimme Sake
When you're tempted to try convince a Golden Retriever owner walking their pet in the park to sell it and buy a Procurer "because it has more tank".

"Never not blob!" ~ Plato