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Out of Pod Experience

 
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EvE and Children

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thsoundman
Slow Chidlren at Play
SL0W CHILDREN AT PLAY
#1 - 2015-02-17 15:53:36 UTC
Let me preface this post and say I'm fairly confident I know the answer to this question so with that in mind... I'm about a month from my first child (daughter) being born. I obviously know that my time to play isn't going to be what it was and I'm ok with that but I'm curious if there is anyone out there that has children, especially younger children that manages to play and take care of their kids. What is your experience like? I mean I know this pretty much tosses large ops out of the water and that's ok... but I really do enjoy EvE and I'd hate to have to give it up completely. People paint these pretty dire pictures of having children and how your doomed but I tend to think people exaggerate little. Or perhaps they don't. Just looking for some honest opinions.

Some things to note:

- Married not divorced
- Both work same hours
- Mother in law is living with us for 6 months after wife's maternity leave ends.


P.S. My apologies if this is in the wrong section.
Lan Wang
African Atomic.
Dreadnought Diplomacy.
#2 - 2015-02-17 15:55:29 UTC  |  Edited by: Lan Wang
got kids they are a little older, 5 & 10, confirming they like ship spinning too, kids are great fun really you will enjoy it, looking past the sleepless nights etc (sometimes it aint like that, i use to have to wake my child every morning and still do) i dont have a girl though i have 2 boys and they game themselves

Domination Nephilim - Angel Cartel

Calm down miner. As you pointed out, people think they can get away with stuff they would not in rl... Like for example illegal mining... - Ima Wreckyou*
Commander Cute
Capsuleer Retirement Home
#3 - 2015-02-17 15:55:43 UTC
Out of Pod Experience is five (5) sections down.

Good day.
DaReaper
Net 7
Cannon.Fodder
#4 - 2015-02-17 16:23:44 UTC
I have played eve since 2004. I would play up words of 8+ hours a day. The g/f now wife oddly put up with it, though its caused issues latter (nother story moving on) Wife got preggers with my son in 2010, i was figuring 'oh i'll just hold the kiddo and play eve, give him a bottle, yea this will work." Kid is born and even with 8 weeks of vacation, my eve time went to 0.

Honestly that first year i decided i'd rather spend time with my son and wife then play eve. the first few weeks of 2 hour mini naps in the night followed by helping to feed a baby (yup i stayed up everytime) made playing eve a tad hard. Adjusting to the little one made it not so easy. As there honestly was not much you could do, esp if your kid has unpridictable sleep patterns. I found it easier to just watch tv and look at face book then to get involved in some odd eve nuance.

This went on for about a year, then i started playing again, all be it, less then 8 hours and less reposnceability.

My advice, be ready to give up eve for a bit. Spend as much time as you can with your little one. Once you know her pattern it will be easier to play. Its always better to put eve on the back burner, have a happy child and wife, and pick it up agan once you have an idea of how things ae (i.e. take a month off)

But every kid is different, you might get lucky and get one that will sleep all night from a young age... or you might get the holy nightmare kid that wont. Even with the help of your inlaw, i still recommend less eve time till you are used to the changes become a dad is a huge change. But worth it.

OMG Comet Mining idea!!! Comet Mining!

Eve For life.
Ralph King-Griffin
New Eden Tech Support
#5 - 2015-02-17 16:29:32 UTC  |  Edited by: Ralph King-Griffin
stay at home dad of 4yo twin boys,
been playing the last two years.
most of my corpmates also have kids varying from a couple of months to a few years old.

you will be fine.

people love to exaggerate and to a degree are talking it up so it doesn't feel as bad* as you imagine ,
to soften the blow as it were (unless its twins, then its all true).

do take a short break , enjoy it (its amazing)Blink.
just cut back as needed.


*not to say it's bad at all,
it's rather gratifying,
it's just not as hard as people will let you believe

Murderers of Negotiable Motivations

=]|[=
Aladar Dangerface
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#6 - 2015-02-17 16:39:24 UTC
I have played for about 3 years now and i have a 6 yo and a 4 yo.

If you can manage your time well and the wife doesnt mind you playing you might be able to get some play time in, however the first 6-12 months can be pretty rough if you are working all day and not getting much sleep at night. I doubt i could have managed to play in the first year after my kids were born.

Chances are you will want to spend your time with your family and/or will be too tired to want to play. Once you get into a good routine however, this might change (the tiredness i mean).

Your priorities do shift massivley when you become a parent so you may not want to play again or you might want to play very casually. You will just have to wait and see how things go tbh but its not impossible to get some eve time in just dont commit to any CTAs Smile

I don't need twitter. I'm already following you.
Mr Epeen
It's All About Me
#7 - 2015-02-17 16:47:16 UTC
I'm going to cut you some slack here since it's your first child and you can never be prepared for it, no matter how much you think you will be. So I'll just say you have no idea how profound a change it is in your life.

Once you have her in your arms and under your care, that's all you should be thinking about. If it even crosses your mind to be doing something else (like logging in to a game) rather than focusing all your time and attention on the helpless little thing, then you shouldn't be a parent.

I did nothing else for the first year but spend every minute marveling at the miracle I helped create. If you aren't willingly and joyfully putting every waking moment into parenting, then you are doing it wrong.

Set a long queue and we'll see you in a year or so.

And gratz.

Mr Epeen Cool
Ix Method
Doomheim
#8 - 2015-02-17 16:53:14 UTC  |  Edited by: Ix Method
evehermit.wordpress.com

tldr He never gets to play

Travelling at the speed of love.
Kim O'Blasy
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#9 - 2015-02-17 16:55:07 UTC
True story...My 7 and 8 year old boys were laughing hysterically in the kitchen during a big EVE moment so I had to investigate. They were taking turns getting in and out of the DEEP FREEZER and had just put my Nannie's 3 year old boy in there and were holding the lid down. It was almost as bad as time they found a ladder and went on the roof when they were 3 and 4 years old. Now they play EVE on occasion to shoot rats.
thsoundman
Slow Chidlren at Play
SL0W CHILDREN AT PLAY
#10 - 2015-02-17 17:07:00 UTC
Mr Epeen wrote:
I'm going to cut you some slack here since it's your first child and you can never be prepared for it, no matter how much you think you will be. So I'll just say you have no idea how profound a change it is in your life.

Once you have her in your arms and under your care, that's all you should be thinking about. If it even crosses your mind to be doing something else (like logging in to a game) rather than focusing all your time and attention on the helpless little thing, then you shouldn't be a parent.

I did nothing else for the first year but spend every minute marveling at the miracle I helped create. If you aren't willingly and joyfully putting every waking moment into parenting, then you are doing it wrong.

Set a long queue and we'll see you in a year or so.

And gratz.

Mr Epeen Cool


Yeah don't take me wrong I can't wait to meet her and as you can tell I'm kinda at a loss as to what to expect. I'm an IT Health Professional System Engineer and I have this undying need to know how things work and this is one of those things I don't think you can ever truly know how it works lol.

I ask because I care and I want to be the best parent I can be but at the same time I've seen plenty of parents (Wives and Husbands or both) who give up everything they love and make it 100% about the child until they are gone and suddenly 18 years later they don't know who they are anymore.

As for the skill training... yeah I should have some nice capital ship skills going in a years time :P On the bright side I think having my mother in law around will be a HUGE help. Plus I like my mother in law so that helps too lol.
ISD Ezwal
ISD Community Communications Liaisons
ISD Alliance
#11 - 2015-02-17 20:24:30 UTC  |  Edited by: ISD Ezwal
First and foremost, the little one will be put above and beyond anything else on any priority list. For the both of you. Your first born makes you a parent, and believe me, that's a life changing event.
But that does not mean there is no life beside the baby left. On the contrary, it will however need careful planning. And yes, in most cases that will lead to less time for gaming.

Then again, when our youngest was a baby she was awake a lot. The best way to let her fall asleep was putting her in a mini-hammock and carnying her around. Or, as luck would have it, have her in that mini-hammock hanging from my neck, sitting in a chair behind my computer. She slept like a baby (what's in a word...) while I had 'mandatory' gaming sessions for hours...Big smile
Sneak edit: No comms though, that woke her up...

Mind you, all the above is from personal experience and experiences differ from parent to parent and from child to child. As with adults, all are unique and can (and often will) react to certain circumstances differently.

That said, thread moved to Out Of Pod Experience.

ISD Ezwal Community Communication Liaisons (CCLs)
Serene Repose
#12 - 2015-02-17 20:31:54 UTC  |  Edited by: Serene Repose
Nobody's gonna come to the house and tell you how to raise your kids. This could be good, then it could also be bad. That is unless things get a bit into the gutter then the state is always happy to step in, but we'll assume you intend for things not to go that far. I've only raised four, so what would I know about this?

Two things you're gonna lose really fast and have a real hard time recovering...sleep and "me". Of the two, initially "me" seems the most important. That solid sense of purpose - I am the captain of my own ship...however, after a week of three hours of sleep a night that changes pretty fast. So, you see if sleep is the commodity in shortest supply (since we'll assume you've dealt with the concept that you are no longer the center of your own universe) you can already see how miraculous will be "squeezing in game time."

Now, I don't want to be discouraging. One who has a baby, we all assume, has thought about this commitment and is involved with it to raise children. It's a life engaging venture to say the least, and certainly not something you squeeze into your day if you have time on your calendar. Yeah. There are those who "parent" like that. Sure. Right now I'm watching a movie called In Cold Blood about two little boys raised that way!

It's your call. Right? Oh, and (I mean this) congratulations! You'll never do anything more significant
in your time here on earth.

We must accommodate the idiocracy.
Chea Panasty
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#13 - 2015-02-17 21:51:53 UTC
When kids are infants it's easy...but you'll be really tired all the time, maybe too tired to play. I have memories of holding a bottle with my chin feeding my first one when she was an infant while playing eve, lol. All they do is sleep and eat mostly anyway, really easy.

Then they start to crawl and get into things your eve time will greatly diminish at this time, unless you like your house destroyed or worse your kids getting into something poisonous or something else deadly....you have to and SHOULD interact with them anyway

Then they turn about 5 and your time will start recovering but never be what it used to be...but spend as much time with them as you can
Josef Djugashvilis
#14 - 2015-02-17 22:10:40 UTC
My two daughters were young once, fortunately they soon grew out of it.

This is not a signature.
Candi LeMew
Division 13
#15 - 2015-02-18 00:33:16 UTC
Mr Epeen wrote:
Once you have her in your arms and under your care, that's all you should be thinking about. If it even crosses your mind to be doing something else (like logging in to a game) rather than focusing all your time and attention on the helpless little thing, then you shouldn't be a parent.

I resemble that remark.

My daughter loves EVE. Sits in my lap watching me play all the time. Has even been known to get on comms and say "Hewwo Jack" and "I luff you Foedus".

I'll have her piloting Bargests and Tengus before she's 5 and then we'll see who's laughing.

🍌

Remember... in Anoikis Bob Is Always Watching...

"I been kicked out of better homes than this" - Rick James