Crime & Punishment

I have started documenting my noob bait adventures on our Alliance forum and thought a few here might find it somewhat entertaining.


The pilots of new Eden have been showing an ever rising reluctance to engage my bait Exequror. With smoking neutrons and heavy local reps left in its wake after every brutal engagement, savvy capsuleers no longer throw themselves so willingly into its loving embrace.

Thus it was with a heavy heart I put forth a request to my half blind and space mad scientists for the creation of a new bait vessel. Many ships were put through intensive simulations but only one made the grade. Only one was felt strong enough to survive the black.

I present the Nereus, coming to customs offices near you shortly.

Damage Control II
Reinforced Bulkheads II
Reinforced Bulkheads II
Reinforced Bulkheads II
Reinforced Bulkheads II

10MN Afterburner II
Warp Scrambler II
X5 Prototype Engine Enervator
X5 Prototype Engine Enervator
Small Capacitor Booster II, Navy Cap Booster 400

Medium Transverse Bulkhead I
Medium Transverse Bulkhead I
Medium Transverse Bulkhead I

50W Infectious Power System Malfunction
Light Neutron Blaster II

Hobgoblin II x3
Warrior II x3

EHP: 38,457
Speed: 416m/s
DPS: 98
Chest hair: More than you could ever shave.


Day 1: A Nereus Day Out

It was a boring Sunday evening, I was commiserating the loss of another Exequoror with a beer as I made haste back home. Once "Safely" back inside the POS I sat idly perusing the ship hangar, a certain Nereus was batting its long eyelashes at me and who was I to refuse such beauty.

Destination set to Dastryns, I was unceremoniously spat out of the worm hole and headed for sweet victory or bitter defeat.

The first fight came hard and fast. A Navy Hookbill landed at the customs office I was clearly using for PI, a solid 12km away. Not wanting to play my hand I aligned out and overheated my webs and scram, waiting for him to make the first move. He must have been horny and eager as he burnt in fast to 6km and landed a scram. My shields and armour melted so fast I feel obligated to check on subsequent trips that I undocked with any in the first place.

The bait however worked with chaotic precision and my idiotic engineers fumbled a half decent lock as I hit structure. Approach, Webs, Scram, Overloaded Neut, Drones, Gun and pray. He began to die, his repper held him briefly before the neut did its work but I had a pressing concern. A customs office stood between us holding our loving embrace at around 6km. I was not fast enough to go around it, so I just had to hope my double webs could prevent him covering the 4km he needed to break an overloaded scram.

So it was he began to pull away, my lonely neutron loaded with null tickled him until the very end and i cursed as he warped in 30% hull… A brief conversation followed where he praised my plucky Nereus and admitted his life was spared only due to powerful snake implants.

I shook off the blue balls and continued onward “collecting my PI”. It was not long before a brave Coercer took the bait. This time there was no **** blocking custom office in the way to prevent his demise and he fell in short order.

https://zkillboard.com/kill/41524465/

The first but not the last.

Great narrative too.

Looking forward to hearing more.

A+++, would read again!

Day 2: Death and Taxes.

I undocked in Dastryn with a fistful of hope and a mind set on a kill. It was a new day and the sun shone brightly across the many nebula's of space, promising riches and danger to the bold. Glimpses of multiple advanced frigates and low tech cruisers were being reported on the ships directional scan. Today was going to be a good day.

Then i welped to a Stratios https://zkillboard.com/kill/41535397/.

As I reflected upon what an excruciatingly bad idea it had been to knowingly engage a Stratios in single combat, utilising a Tech 1 Industrial as a weapon. I noted a clear morale victory as his trousers were undoubtedly worth more than my Nereus (note Zkill comment).

A beer for the first of the fallen, it seemed only fitting. I drank my sorrows as the Nereus Mk#2 was commissioned and outfitted in the system of Amarr. No variations were made to the MK#2 system design, none were deemed necessary. I undocked and headed to Amarr faction warfare, arriving slightly dejected but still with some hope left crumbling through my fist.

Cruor on scan! Can i take a Cruor? My crew saw the hesitation flicker on my face. Very politely they reminded me of the fact that not two hours ago i had called the engagement of a Stratios, and they "did not give a **** at this point". So i warped off to chat with customs. I did not have to wait long before i had a Cruor nibbling viciously at my ankles. It was a beautiful site to behold. A T1 Industrial going head to head vs a pirate frigate for the right to chat to the pretty customs lady.

The combination of my own neut and his draining capabilities meant i was struggling to keep everything running. I gave up on keeping the neut running constantly and concentrated on pulsing it whilst I applied damage. All 96 of it...As i dipped into 30% structure the Cruor got spooked and pulled range. A quite understandable action brought on by the recent local spike, and i like to think a little by his slight dip into structure before catching reps.

I waved Sarah goodbye and warped back to station shaken but still in one piece. Communications were opened with the worthy Cruor and banter was exchanged. A 1v1 fight was proposed a few systems over. I popped to grab some more Navy 400 charges and went in for round 2.

Round 2 was like Round 1 but I had learnt from my mistakes, I was a strong independent Nereus, who don't need no man. I managed my cap well enough to keep everything running but his tank proved tricky to best. On a particularly badly timed cap reload i got drained dry and he warped away whilst i had 80% structure remaining.

GFs were given and i turned in for the night safe in the knowledge that Nereus Mk#2 will change the verse or set it ablaze trying.

Savage

Added High slots back. I can't quite sneak a medium cap booster on to it despite best efforts. The medium neut alone takes up 50% of the PG.

Just the sheer descriptors and narration is enough to keep me checking back.

Even if there is no KM's the reading alone makes for a good work place time killer

KIU

Day 3: Sadness Madness and Shame

Before undocking I took a moment to admire the Nereus floating before me. She had served me well the past two days. If her bulkheads could speak they would scream passionate stories to anyone who would listen, of the ones that got away. Minor morale victories however are irrelevant in harshness of space. To anyone keeping count, the score stood disappointingly even at 1-1.

I slid out of the station and into the unknown noting a Retribution on scan. I picked the nearest customs office and I waited. Nothing, not a sniff. Boredom crept into my veins and before long it gave way to madness. I requested a warp in on the Large Plex and on landing 30km away from him, the dance began.

Or so i thought. The sensors revealed him to be sat motionless? I aligned away and presented my rear, to entice a reaction. Nothing. I approached, slowly closing 10km...nothing. I rubbed my chin and lazily requested locking to commence, he gained velocity. I smiled, that did the trick.

My lock finished as I hit overloaded web range and a scram landed shortly after. I set the energy neutraliser to work right away, shutting off his weapons and active tank. It was a slow grind into structure but we made it. The crew cheered as his death grew near, but my worst fears were soon realised as the chief engineer confirmed we had run out of capacitor boosters. My heart sank as I was forced to turn off the neutraliser to keep point.

I had seen much of the horrors of war. But as i sat there, watching helplessly as my foes armor slowly repaired and the lives of my tiny drones extinguished around me. My descent into madness accelerated to its final stages.

On the verge of losing my first advanced frigate kill to sheer negligence, I furiously opened up all frequencies and broadcast a distress signal. I informed passers by that i had a Retribution tackled and I needed help. I watched a Worm and a Kestral land quickly and my heart leaped. Consumed by greed i held the Retribution in a tight embrace for them.

The price of cowardice however is steep and not overlooked. Sensors indicated two incoming locks, rockets quickly tore open my remaining bulk heads. I gave a maniacal laugh and muttered "Well played" as light enveloped me and my ship was cleansed from the verse.

https://zkillboard.com/kill/41546203/

I will have to live with the shame of calling for help and i made a vow to not do so again. I was a strong independent Nereus who don't need no help.

You can find the fight from shortly after it started to the point i realised i was dead below. Please forgive the lack of sound and poor video quality

Nereus Vs Retribution

Savage

Agreed but that loss I can put purely down to the fact I did not take enough cap boosters. I had been taking around 15 ignorant to just how fast i would use them and I had around 10 left from the previous night.

Thankfully there is little constraints with the cargo so i have since tripled that amount and can take many more if i need to in future.

No but wow there are some quality fights in that video cheers for the link.

That first one is sweet.

Masterful baiting, indeed.