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Crypts, Dips, and Starships: The story of Fred's absence.

Author
Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#1 - 2014-07-29 02:01:38 UTC
Fred is sitting in a large room in his ancestral home, gazing majestically out the window as a symphony plays. He takes a deep breath and sighs with pure bliss, appreciating the brilliance of an ancient Gallentean composer. and turns his head, greeting the camera filming the transmission.

Oh hello! I didn't notice you there. Please, do come in! Well, to be totally honest, I did notice you there. Who the hell just sits around staring out a window while a live symphony in the next room plays just for him? I'm not some Ammarrian prince, and if I was, then I would be spending my freetime getting my bank account locked and asking for generous strangers on Galnet to give me money.

But yes, you are probably wondering where I have been, and even if you haven't then you are now, as you probably would of shut off the transmission by this point. Well here is your answer! You ready? This is gonna be good!

I WAS-

The transmission cuts to static, and then to menu. It read:

FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! BUY THE FRED STORY DLC FOR ONLY 3,000 ISK


Unsurprisingly, nobody paid. Fred didn't even create this menu. It's quite possible that some corrupt hologame publisher added this malarkey in.

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!

Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#2 - 2014-07-29 04:58:01 UTC
It doesn't tell me where to pay. HOW CAN I FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IF I DON'T KNOW WHO TO PAY!?! >:O

A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.

Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#3 - 2014-07-29 06:03:45 UTC
Claudia Osyn wrote:
It doesn't tell me where to pay. HOW CAN I FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IF I DON'T KNOW WHO TO PAY!?! >:O


It appears my transmission was hijacked by Electrosoft Arts. Though I guarantee you paying them will not get you the ending, especially after my infinite team of Caldari lawyers has something to say about it. I suppose we'll have to wait.

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!

Elmund Egivand
Sebestacny Circle
#4 - 2014-07-29 07:38:01 UTC
Fredfredbug4 wrote:
Claudia Osyn wrote:
It doesn't tell me where to pay. HOW CAN I FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IF I DON'T KNOW WHO TO PAY!?! >:O


It appears my transmission was hijacked by Electrosoft Arts. Though I guarantee you paying them will not get you the ending, especially after my infinite team of Caldari lawyers has something to say about it. I suppose we'll have to wait.


Please don't tell me we have to pay for a choice of endings being colored in red, blue or green.

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.

Leopold Caine
Stillwater Corporation
#5 - 2014-07-29 09:21:46 UTC
Entertainment business practices in the Federation seem to be rather bleak lately.

And then we are the criminals.
  • Leopold Caine, Domination Malakim

Angels are never far...

Stillwater Corporation Recruitment Open - Angel Cartel Bloc

Kayagainen Iwalula
Doomheim
#6 - 2014-07-29 09:43:21 UTC
Fredfredbug4 wrote:
FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! BUY THE FRED STORY DLC FOR ONLY 3,000 ISK


This is outrageous.

I would charge x1000 times as much for something like that. What a wasted opportunity.
Jinari Otsito
Otsito Mining and Manufacture
#7 - 2014-07-29 10:22:22 UTC
Don't worry. If enough people complain there'll be a new DLC ending that doesn't fix any of the problems.

Prime Node. Ask me about augmentation.

Diana Kim
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#8 - 2014-07-30 13:55:13 UTC
Fredfredbug4 wrote:


FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! BUY THE FRED STORY DLC FOR ONLY 3,000 ISK



Fred dies.

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.

Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#9 - 2014-07-30 18:18:02 UTC
Elmund Egivand wrote:
Fredfredbug4 wrote:
Claudia Osyn wrote:
It doesn't tell me where to pay. HOW CAN I FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IF I DON'T KNOW WHO TO PAY!?! >:O


It appears my transmission was hijacked by Electrosoft Arts. Though I guarantee you paying them will not get you the ending, especially after my infinite team of Caldari lawyers has something to say about it. I suppose we'll have to wait.


Please don't tell me we have to pay for a choice of endings being colored in red, blue or green.


Only green, this is the Federation after all!


Leopold Caine wrote:
Entertainment business practices in the Federation seem to be rather bleak lately.

And then we are the criminals.


The only thing criminal is my transmission getting hijacked by greedy game developers!

Kayagainen Iwalula wrote:

This is outrageous.

I would charge x1000 times as much for something like that. What a wasted opportunity.


To each his own I suppose.

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!

Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#10 - 2014-07-30 18:19:23 UTC
Jinari Otsito wrote:
Don't worry. If enough people complain there'll be a new DLC ending that doesn't fix any of the problems.


Double the DLC, double the fun!

Diana Kim wrote:
Fred dies.


Well then...Sad

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!