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Crime & Punishment

 
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Help me deal with this annoying noise.
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Jules Snarlington
Sparkle Pony Inc
#1 - 2014-05-16 05:04:31 UTC
I had just purchased a lovely new habitat. "A wonderful view of the ice belt! Very scenic!", claimed the estate agent. Well, Beatrix does like a view, so how could I resist? We had just settled in, and things were becoming entertaining, when we were interrupted by the most hideous noise. A sort of low, rumbling, buzzing sound. I looked outside the windows, and there they were, these knaves, these... miners.

The mood and the evening were absolutely ruined.

Naturally, I am annoyed at this circumstance. Is it too much to ask to have a bit of peace and quiet during an intimate moment? I contemplated on what I should do, and shortly, an idea occurred to me: If the miners are not there, they will not be mining outside my window.

Accordingly, I have set aside a small sum, some two billion isk, for the purpose of compensating persons who will help me. For every Retriever killed in high-security space, I shall pay five million isk to the person who lays the final blow; for each Mackinaw, ten million isk. I will be checking the site "ZKillboard" for kills and sending out appropriate payment twice a day, in particular the pages Retrievers and Mackinaws.

I hope that this will clear up my little noise problem, and in any case Beatrix has confided in me that she finds explosions to be quite exciting.
IbanezLaney
The Church of Awesome
#2 - 2014-05-16 06:15:05 UTC
Jules Snarlington wrote:
I had just purchased a lovely new habitat. "A wonderful view of the ice belt! Very scenic!", claimed the estate agent. Well, Beatrix does like a view, so how could I resist? We had just settled in, and things were becoming entertaining, when we were interrupted by the most hideous noise. A sort of low, rumbling, buzzing sound. I looked outside the windows, and there they were, these knaves, these... miners.

The mood and the evening were absolutely ruined.

Naturally, I am annoyed at this circumstance. Is it too much to ask to have a bit of peace and quiet during an intimate moment? I contemplated on what I should do, and shortly, an idea occurred to me: If the miners are not there, they will not be mining outside my window.

Accordingly, I have set aside a small sum, some two billion isk, for the purpose of compensating persons who will help me. For every Retriever killed in high-security space, I shall pay five million isk to the person who lays the final blow; for each Mackinaw, ten million isk. I will be checking the site "ZKillboard" for kills and sending out appropriate payment twice a day, in particular the pages Retrievers and Mackinaws.

I hope that this will clear up my little noise problem, and in any case Beatrix has confided in me that she finds explosions to be quite exciting.


Talk to the dudes in CODE. (loyalanon is likely the man to talk to)

He has ways of ensuring these criminals comply with all high sec noise regulations.

https://soundcloud.com/ibanezlaney
D20 Rollings
Doomheim
#3 - 2014-05-16 08:32:57 UTC
Or buy headphones. Do you really want to listen to the bleating of sheep?
Sheep armor still means sheep. Sheep guns doubly so.
Code=sheep in cool clothing

I've... seen things you people wouldn't believe...  Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those... moments... will be lost in time, like  tears... in... rain. Time... to die...
Froggy Storm
KarmaFleet
Goonswarm Federation
#4 - 2014-05-16 09:18:19 UTC
Then other obvious option is to use the billion and train a hero catalyst alt to police your ice belt home. Much like buying a dog.
Erica Dusette
Division 13
#5 - 2014-05-16 09:41:14 UTC  |  Edited by: Erica Dusette
Mr Snarlington sir, I'm glad I found your thread in time.

I think I can help.

As we all know sound does not travel in space. Of course though we're used to hearing the simulated environmental sounds produced by our capsule's internal systems to help us orientate to our surroundings whilst piloting a vessel, but as far as I know this system isn't supposed to be incorporated into station or tower protocols. I could be wrong though.

In either case though I think you should speak with the facility's maintenance director as you shouldn't be getting any audio simulations of events outside your quarters.

I wish you luck! Hopefully having a technician look at it will save both your intimate date, your fortune, and many lives.

Jack Miton > you be nice or you're sleeping on the couch again!

Part-Time Wormhole Pirate ツ Full-Time Supermodel

▷ worмнole dιary + cнaracтer вιoѕ ▷ вσss
Drunken Angel
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#6 - 2014-05-16 11:18:31 UTC
Why good sir please allow me to point you here all api verfied enjoy
Dreadchain
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#7 - 2014-05-16 12:13:40 UTC  |  Edited by: Dreadchain
May I recommend purchasing New Order shares from James 315: http://www.minerbumping.com/p/shareholders.html

Not only will your funds be directly assigned to removing these vermin from highsec, you'll be the owner of 2000 shares, assuming the original amount of 2 billion.

www.minerbumping.com
BeBopAReBop RhubarbPie
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#8 - 2014-05-16 21:46:28 UTC
I am glad that another resident of the tranquil high sec ice belts is concerned for the environmental damage caused by these behemoth machines. I usually do not partake in destruction of lowly retrievers, but because a high sec resident's property values are at stake I may be moved to action. Please forward any intel on these threats to your abode to the Minerbumping chat channel accessible anywhere in New Eden.

Founder of Violet Squadron, a small gang NPSI community! Mail me for more information.

BeBopAReBop RhubarbPie's Space Mediation Service!
Lord Jasta
KarmaFleet
Goonswarm Federation
#9 - 2014-05-17 06:41:52 UTC
Jules Snarlington
Sparkle Pony Inc
#10 - 2014-05-18 16:27:38 UTC
Goodness, it's nice to see people being so proactive about things! The compensatory fund is already exhausted, with 261 Retrievers and 96 Mackinaws destroyed. It has been a pleasure working with you all. More importantly, Beatrix does indeed like explosions; I shall have to think of a way to arrange more of them for her.
Grunanca
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#11 - 2014-05-18 18:25:51 UTC
Space doesnt have sound... OP lies!