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Limerick Contest Winners

Tas Exile
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#1 - 2014-03-31 02:03:26 UTC
These are the winners from the Limerick Contest.

Honorable Mention:
GM Spiral for getting the most votes with this lovely limerick:

A ticket was filed by a man
Who'd lost his jettisoned can
He'd bought all his ISK
And still took the risk
His reward was a permanent ban

Player Winners of 100M isk for most "likes":

Lucas Kell:

There once was a fella from Jita
Who desired his wallet be fitter
So he found a good deal
Which it seems wasn't real
And now he is feeling quite bitter.

and (most ironically)
Tyburn Stannis

A contest of poems was the calling
So I penned a swift ditty whilst hauling
But there's always a risk
Of corrupt "likes for ISK"
And a winner whose rhyme is appalling...

Winners of a Phantasm BPC for being my personal favorites:


I mine only Veldspar for fun
I make just a pittance each run
And although it is dull
I still mine 'til I'm full
'Cause I like looking out at the sun

Cara Forelli

A rare ship I followed from Hek
And soon I would orbit his wreck
The stargate I jumped through
Scram, web, and then pew
The system, alas, was high-sec

and finally, the winner of a Cynabal BPC as the Poet's Prize

Sarhyl Connaly

Eve Online is a game without walls,
But this freedom contains painful falls;
Such as learning curve: rough,
meta-game: rather tough,
And controls like a kick to the balls.

Thanks to all who participated and I hope you had fun. Using "likes" as a mechanic didn't work out as well as I hoped as most of the likes were on the first 2-3 pages even though there were some very good limericks later on. The poet's council did fantastic job of culling through them and most of their selections (as well as the winner) were from the latter half of the thread. However, it wasn't quite fair to them as many of them also had submissions that were quite good that probably didn't receive the attention they deserved. In any case, I feel great about the winners, but I will probably use a different mechanic next time.

A special thanks to the poet's council of
Nyjil Lizaru, Xanadu Redux, Don Aubaris, Vehestian, Mike Azariah, Barbara Nichole, and Cara Forelli for going through multiple rounds of votes to select the winner.

Tas Exile
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#2 - 2014-03-31 02:03:53 UTC  |  Edited by: Tas Exile
Here are some of the "runners up" or best of the rest.

There once was a ‘girl’ who played eve. Ja?
Oh come on, I just don’t believe ya!
Half the toons are a bloke.
The other half joke,
And tell everyone they’re a sheila!
- Crompton Aberforth

I'm finding out space is real big
And it's best if you're flying a frig
The warp speed is great
And the fights are top rate
But the best thing is its' small sig
- Lachra

There once was a pilot so BRAVE
His girlfriend couldn't get laid
Her flirtatious cooing
Disrupted his pew-ing
Until one eventually caved
- Nicen Jehr

You don't have to put on bifocals
to keep a sharp eye on your local
if you ignore good intel
your ship's burnin' in hell
when a frig fleet explodes your poor Rorqual
- Vehestian

Our fleet went out lookin' to fight
to bask in some kills, outright
dunno what I was bettin'
as a scout in a 'geddon
but I did not come home that night.
- Vehestian

You clearly have not seen my contracts
You may want to change out those contacts
The ones in your eyes
Stop believing the lies
And face the legit ISK making facts. ;)
- Rupee Rue

EVE is a game of phylogeny
And friend and neutral and enemy
the bizzarest of all
is friend to none all
and thus is of genus frenemy
- Mara Rinn

I'm sorry I ruined your day
But please just let me say
I know it is tough
To lose all your stuff
But I make my living this way.
- Avon

There was a ship builder from Glink
who colored his ships with black ink.
Goon customers came
and loudly complained,
"The color we wanted was pink."
- Barbara Nichole

If New Eden is too problematical,
Fitting mods is much too mathematical,
there are games you can play
much cheaper per day
and the players are not so fanatical.
- Kor Sanyo

There once was a pirate from Siseide
Arties or missiles he could not decide
He finally chose beam
and on them put Gleam
Of all of his targets not one died
- Reaver Glitterstim

Pirate ship Nightmare, can you fathom
Larger but with smaller spikes than Phantasm
The Succubus looks meaner
But the Revenant cleaner
Seems as they get bigger, the smaller spikes they has'm
- Reaver Glitterstim

A guy once AWOXed his corp to cause a commotion
But instead of being kicked, he got a promotion
Now he can't get out
Watch him scream and shout
As they chase him across the great black ocean
- Reaver Glitterstim

There once was a guy in a destroyer
Who blew up the raven of a lawyer
The lawyer cried
This is not in the guide
I feel bad for the poor guys employer
- Volar Kang

Tas Exile
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#3 - 2014-03-31 02:05:08 UTC  |  Edited by: Tas Exile
There was once an AFK cloaker named Me,
Who camped systems with noobships cloak free.
They all cried for nerf,
Which came out Hurf Blurf!
And not one tried to probe Planet Three!
- Unsuccessful At Everything

There's this game called Eve I adore.
It leaves me wanting more and more
It's just a shame.
Incarna was lame.
Maybe one day we'll get through the door.
- Cecil Montague

There once was a spacegame called EVE
Which was harder than you would believe
Fools came from WoW
'I'm quiting!' they'd vow
Can I have your stuff when you leave?
- TigerXtrm

There once were four GMs on night shift,
Whose ticket replies were so swift.
Then along came this thread,
Their reply count went dead.
The next day their boss would be miffed.
- GM Arcade

Rixx Javix stayed true to a limerick's lewd origins

There once was a man from Rens
Who chased the girls like hens
He flew a big Rokh
but had a small...

...opinion of himself.

There once was a girl from Dodixie
Who's middle name was Trixie
She was kind of a runt
Except for her huge...

...Tech 2 Strip Miners!

There once was a gal from Amarr
Whose Father dreamed would go far
Even though she was a bore
He couldn't believe she became a...

... special assistant to the Empress.

and Xanadu Redux called out some well-known bloggers

I follow the robo blogger Jester
As he pontificates on the weather
(That's a coy euphemism
For the enthusiasm
He shows as a TLDR stresser)

In the dark stalks a tiger deadly
A ships klaxons, her choicest medley
One false move and then BANG!
Your cold corpse she will hang
Penny's collection must flow redly

Once a goblin named Gevlon came calling
He smeared Goons, RVB set to mauling
The GRR POCOs by day
So Marmite came to play
Now we drink up the forum tears falling

I amaze with my frigate kung fu
And to enemies bid fond adieu.
As I race through the 'plex
And I loot all their wrecks,
I tell them to aitch the eff-yoo.
- Duncan Ringill

In a frig, on a gate, in a system,
I'd wished my AB was a Gistum,
Decloaked into a blob,
Overheated my prop mod,
But still got caught by that Tristan.
- The Lobsters

There once was a carebear from Hek
Who mined while watching Star Trek
The New Order came
Oh what a shame
Nothing left but a pitiful wreck
- Pix Severus

Cara Forelli
State War Academy
Caldari State
#4 - 2014-03-31 02:54:19 UTC
Thanks for the contest Tas! Much fun, as always.

Want to talk? Join my channel in game: House Forelli

Titan's Lament

Pix Severus
Empty You
#5 - 2014-03-31 04:16:52 UTC
Thank you for the distraction
From the regular board interaction
I had a good time
Reading these rhymes
It provides me with some satisfaction

MTU Hunter: Latest Entry - June 12 2017 - Vocal Local 5

MTU Hunting 101: Comprehensive Guide

Sarhyl Connaly
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#6 - 2014-03-31 15:19:09 UTC
"What are they up to in Eve today, Ollie?"


"Thank you, Ollie. The upcoming reprocessing changes..."

This was a lot of fun, I really enjoyed reading all the submissions! I even won a thing, thank-you! *blushes, bows, falls into the cargohold*

I write Afterburning Weasels.

We're all faffing about. Why not enjoy it?

Schmata Bastanold
In Boobiez We Trust
#7 - 2014-03-31 15:28:11 UTC
"...And not one tried to probe Planet Three!"

What a story twist! :)

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Tyburn Stannis
Xenon Salvage Inc.
#8 - 2014-03-31 16:16:43 UTC
Here all week, try the fish.... ;)

Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
#9 - 2014-03-31 16:48:38 UTC
Nice ones! Thanks for the contest, Tas! o7
Yourmoney Mywallet
#10 - 2014-03-31 17:03:13 UTC
this thread is full of win Smile
Through the Dream Again
#11 - 2014-04-01 03:26:37 UTC
Thanks to everybody and big grats to the winners o7

on to the next battle of words!

Lachra Corporation
#12 - 2014-04-01 11:58:14 UTC
Many thanks, it was a fun contest! :p
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#13 - 2014-04-01 12:27:55 UTC
Yay, I'm in the runner ups Lol

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Barbara Nichole
Royal Amarr Institute
Amarr Empire
#14 - 2014-04-01 17:55:31 UTC
There should have been a "scrap metal" award for the worst Limerick. Big smile

  - remove the cloaked from local; free intel is the real problem, not  "afk" cloaking -


Cara Forelli
State War Academy
Caldari State
#15 - 2014-04-01 18:38:41 UTC
Barbara Nichole wrote:
There should have been a "scrap metal" award for the worst Limerick. Big smile

There was a contestant or two,
Whose rhymes were abysmal, it's true.
If they were to try,
A PLEX they could buy,
With scrap metal out the wazoo.

Want to talk? Join my channel in game: House Forelli

Titan's Lament