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Limerick Contest

First post
Author
Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#141 - 2014-03-20 02:51:14 UTC
In a small frig sailed a pirate chick
Through carebear infested waters thick
She dispatched a few
They screamed as they do
"OMG man why you gotta be such a..."

...pain in the neck?



Twas a pale gal playing EVE in a ship that's bigger
Than the brains of the carebear she beat I figger
She played as Minmatar
Male Brutor her avatar
Twas heard in local: "I just got beat by a..."

pirate who's tall, dark, and handsome!



A young man was ganked, to the GMs he did snitch
They tore up his ticket and hit him with a switch
The pirate came in
And said to him
"Lady, you suck. You play like a..."

puppy with clumsy paws.

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."

Erotica 1
Krypteia Operations
#142 - 2014-03-20 02:52:14 UTC
There are some trolls in GD
They post often with glee
They pretend to be mad
But you've been had
They just say "teehee"

See Bio for isk doubling rules. If you didn't read bio, chances are you funded those who did.

Vehestian
Applied Anarchy
The Initiative.
#143 - 2014-03-20 03:01:28 UTC
Our fleet went out lookin' to fight
to bask in some kills, outright
dunno what I was bettin'
as a scout in a 'geddon
but I did not come home that night.
Seraph Essael
Air
The Initiative.
#144 - 2014-03-20 03:05:11 UTC
A pilot once chose to AWOX,
A corp that mined nothing but rocks.
He loaded up charges,
And killed all their barges,
In corp chat the pilot then mocks.

Quoted from Doc Fury: "Concerned citizens: Doc seldom plays EVE on the weekends during spring and summer, so you will always be on your own for a couple days a week. Doc spends that time collecting kittens for the on-going sacrifices, engaging in reckless outdoor activities, and speaking in the 3rd person."

Seraph Essael
Air
The Initiative.
#145 - 2014-03-20 03:40:32 UTC
A small gang who went on a roam,
Flew two systems out of their home.
The gate, it was camped,
Their fleet was then damped.
EWAR, the fleet did not condone.

Quoted from Doc Fury: "Concerned citizens: Doc seldom plays EVE on the weekends during spring and summer, so you will always be on your own for a couple days a week. Doc spends that time collecting kittens for the on-going sacrifices, engaging in reckless outdoor activities, and speaking in the 3rd person."

Hadrian Blackstone
Yamato Holdings
#146 - 2014-03-20 07:29:42 UTC
They say Eve is only for winners,
bla bla bla skillpoints don't matter.
Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
#147 - 2014-03-20 17:21:58 UTC
Erotica 1 wrote:
Oh noes! I failed the rules!

You forfeit your isk deposit, no double return for you. Smile
Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#148 - 2014-03-20 19:20:30 UTC
Khergit Deserters wrote:
Erotica 1 wrote:
Oh noes! I failed the rules!

You forfeit your isk deposit, no double return for you. Smile

The biggest scam, the one that scammers fall to
Is the one that says scamming trade posts pays, too
But just look at histories around
No successful contracts found
Yet there they are in local, hoping their dreams come true

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."

Rupee Rue
Price History
#149 - 2014-03-20 21:15:29 UTC
Reaver Glitterstim wrote:
Khergit Deserters wrote:
Erotica 1 wrote:
Oh noes! I failed the rules!

You forfeit your isk deposit, no double return for you. Smile

The biggest scam, the one that scammers fall to
Is the one that says scamming trade posts pays, too
But just look at histories around
No successful contracts found
Yet there they are in local, hoping their dreams come true


You clearly have not seen my contracts
You may want to change out those contacts
The ones in your eyes
Stop believing the lies
And face the legit ISK making facts.
;)
Vehestian
Applied Anarchy
The Initiative.
#150 - 2014-03-21 21:49:51 UTC
You don't have to put on bifocals
to keep a sharp eye on your local
if you ignore good intel
your ship's burnin' in hell
when a frig fleet explodes your poor Rorqual
Erotica 1
Krypteia Operations
#151 - 2014-03-21 22:58:44 UTC
You found a good deal from Princess Rupee Rue
You thought you were buying one plex but you paid two
I forgot to mention
You should pay attention
Oh no! What to do?

See Bio for isk doubling rules. If you didn't read bio, chances are you funded those who did.

Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#152 - 2014-03-21 23:09:34 UTC
Rupee Rue wrote:
You clearly have not seen my contracts
You may want to change out those contacts
The ones in your eyes
Stop believing the lies
And face the legit ISK making facts.
;)
Of course there are those who get alts and/or friends to make fake payouts, or others have plenty more ways of convincing the playerbase they are as good a scammer as all the other "successful" ones. You'll never admit defeat because that would crush your ego, and you still believe that one day a really good one will come along and make all that wasted time worthwhile.

You try and try, with each new scam finer
You say "I can do this, I'm no whiner"
While others earn steady
Their cash is ready
And your financial growth was beat by a miner

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."

Kor Sanyo
EVE University
Ivy League
#153 - 2014-03-22 01:06:08 UTC
(to that guy in local who won't stop chatting about WoW)

If New Eden is too problematical,
Fitting mods is much too mathematical,
there are games you can play
much cheaper per day
and the players are not so fanatical.
Vehestian
Applied Anarchy
The Initiative.
#154 - 2014-03-22 01:30:30 UTC



There once was a ganker in Jita,
who loved to pop noobies and grief-a,
he got snatched-up by Marmite
who bought up his kill rights,
so no more fun hi-sec hijinkas

;(
Erotica 1
Krypteia Operations
#155 - 2014-03-22 01:35:37 UTC
A new player came from wow to EVE,
For right now we'll just call him Steve,
He threw 10 plex in his ship
Then he fell for the can flip
Now all he does is grieve

See Bio for isk doubling rules. If you didn't read bio, chances are you funded those who did.

Erotica 1
Krypteia Operations
#156 - 2014-03-22 01:49:57 UTC
There is a hero named James three one five
All he asks miners to do is act alive
The CODE will set you free
At your keyboard you need to be
For 100% compliancy we will strive

See Bio for isk doubling rules. If you didn't read bio, chances are you funded those who did.

Volar Kang
Kang Industrial
#157 - 2014-03-22 01:51:30 UTC
Erotica 1 wrote:
A new player came from wow to EVE,
For right now we'll just call him Steve,
He threw 10 plex in his ship
Then he fell for the can flip
Now all he does is grieve


You are getting much better at this.
Erotica 1
Krypteia Operations
#158 - 2014-03-22 01:56:17 UTC
Looking for a corp? Join Goons
You can get rich with their many moons
Just asked for a recruiter
My favorite is Scooter
Those that say don't are jelly loons

See Bio for isk doubling rules. If you didn't read bio, chances are you funded those who did.

Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#159 - 2014-03-22 03:42:31 UTC
Volar Kang wrote:
You are getting much better at this.
I absolutely agree.




Twas a bad limerick writer named Lancelot
His terrible writing failed to make sense a lot
But Glitterstim's were worse
Verse by bad verse
Glitter's rhyming schemes will make you wince a lot

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."

Tau Cabalander
Retirement Retreat
Working Stiffs
#160 - 2014-03-22 08:04:15 UTC
There once was a girl from Nantucket,
She did haul using a frigate to truck it.
A load of cows she was sold,
But outer space was too cold.
So now she sells ice cream by the bucket.


"The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical." - Anonymous