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The Noir Lounge
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Aracturus
Amok.
Goonswarm Federation
#1 - 2014-03-03 04:19:11 UTC  |  Edited by: Aracturus
Hello guys and gals! And Fedos and rogue drones, and transvestites, etc, etc.

Your dear old uncle Aracturus here to tell you about The Noir Lounge, run by yours truly!
What is The Noir Lounge? It's nothing more or less than the swingingest little speakeasy this side of deklein, that's what!

Do you like atmosphere? Live Entertainment? Sultry lounge singers? Smooth Jazz? Swing? Then come on down to The Noir Lounge!

The Noir Lounge is located aboard the GDV-27 Tempered Resolve, a Naglfar-class dreadnought. We have full connections allowing you to easily get to us via INTERBUS, so no fear! Just look up "The Noir" in your necomm, and all details for getting there will be transmitted to you!

The rules:

- Absolutely Positively NO Weapons. There are weapon scanners, armed guards, and Auto-targeting minigun turrets. Trust me when I say you don't want to be caught with a weapon aboard my ship.
- Leave your problems, and your drama, at the door. I reserve the right to eject anyone who's causing problems (that includes starting fights) at any time. And by 'eject', I mean 'out the airlock'. You have been warned.
- Leave your slaves at home. I don't care who or what you are, but leave the slaves and the fetishes at home, please. (Also, this is a minmatar ship, with a lot of minmatar crew, so... yeah.)
- No soliciting the entertainment. The lounge singers are there to sing. That's it. They are not strippers, hookers, or dancers. Mistreat them at your own risk.
- Happy Hour is from 22:00 to 02:00. Drinks during happy hour are half off.
- Don't whine about the music. This is all live performances, so don't **** and moan about how you don't like the music.
- I reserve the right to eject anyone at any time for any reason from this establishment.


Again, just look up "The Noir" on your neocomm and come on down!
We also allow remote connections and holopresence!

This is now a WIDOT thread!
Vulxanis Viceroy
Vicarius Vitae
Khimi Harar
#2 - 2014-03-03 06:10:53 UTC  |  Edited by: Vulxanis Viceroy
The only way I can see anyone in their right minds visiting this establishment, unless they are blue to the CFC, is through holograms. Such a clause as you having the right to kick anyone out of the airlock for whatever reason, especially coming from a member of the Goonswarm Federation, does not put one at ease.

My bar, The Golden Lounge, does not require payment from capsuleers for drinks or food. All hours are 'happy hour'. The menu is extensive, and simply my reputation preceding entry has been enough to make those who visit know to be civil. I will not allow harm to come to my guests, and in turn they are respectful of the establishment and each other.

There is nothing wrong with having live entertainers such as singers or dancers per se, but if you feel the need to actually clarify that they are not also providers of intimate services, or that people need to leave their 'fetishes' at home, that gives me cause for pause concerning the audience you are trying to attract. I am also surprised that your bar does not have a Gallentean theme, but is rather ran on a Minmatar ship. That is rather odd, as it would make more sense if you were running a Gallente establishment. I would recommend parking your dreadnaught in or near Gallente space first.

Regardless, I wish you luck.

In Character: Only responds to "Lord Draconis"

Pronounced "Vulzanis"

Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/Eve/comments/4fanm8/eve_in_a_nutshell_and_how_to_crack_it/

Public channel: VXV EVE

Twitter: https://wiki.eveonline.com/en/wiki/Vulxanis_Viceroy
Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#3 - 2014-03-03 12:02:28 UTC
A Goon club? I'd be sure to send a flash clone...

...with a bomb vest...

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!
Jennifer Maxwell
Crimson Serpent Syndicate
#4 - 2014-03-03 13:07:19 UTC
Many people fall under the umbrella of Goonswarm. It's not unreasonable in the slightest to believe that there are legitimate business men and women within the group who wish to host honest establishments such as.

That being said, the only time I ever visit establishments like this are when A, my job requires me to and B, the matter is important enough that sending one of my employees in my stead is out of the question.So I won't be attending.

Goodluck though. I'm wishing you the best.
Apollo Lyserius
Minerva Technologies
#5 - 2014-03-03 14:56:00 UTC
I like the idea, but I won't risk it. Just got me some implants and although your place may be safe, the surroundings may not. If you ever move to high-security, give us a hint.
Anabella Rella
Gradient
Electus Matari
#6 - 2014-03-03 16:34:56 UTC
Jennifer Maxwell wrote:
Many people fall under the umbrella of Goonswarm. It's not unreasonable in the slightest to believe that there are legitimate business men and women within the group who wish to host honest establishments such as...


How you were able to post this while laughing hysterically and without spitting a beverage all over your data input interface is beyond me. Bravo, well done!

When the world is running down, you make the best of what's still around.
Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#7 - 2014-03-03 17:08:02 UTC
Jennifer Maxwell wrote:
Many people fall under the umbrella of Goonswarm. It's not unreasonable in the slightest to believe that there are legitimate business men and women within the group who wish to host honest establishments such as.


You sound easy to scam.

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!
Utsukushi Shi
State War Academy
Caldari State
#8 - 2014-03-04 00:14:10 UTC
Assuming you have a well stocked bar I might just swing by. I've never been to Deklein.
Gosakumori Noh
Coven of One
#9 - 2014-03-04 00:58:48 UTC
Splendid, splendid! There can never be too much marshmallow vodka out between the stars! I've always liked the Nogginfogger. It's a great, big bronzey expressionist drake sculpture.
Lyris Nairn
Perkone
Caldari State
#10 - 2014-03-04 05:36:25 UTC
How nice. I may visit.

Sky Captain of Your Heart

Reddit: lyris_nairn Skype: lyris.nairn Twitter: @lyris_nairn
Lucien Rouen
#11 - 2014-03-05 15:41:53 UTC
Why is it on a ship? Kind of seems like a waste of a ship, just floating around for people to hang out on. Either way, I'll swing by I think. Though I'm not entirely sure why so many seem to think it is a bad idea.
Pontianak Sythaeryn
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#12 - 2014-03-05 16:02:15 UTC
A Goon bar out in their space? This sounds about as safe as jamming large ice picks into ones own ears. Roll
Lucien Rouen
#13 - 2014-03-05 16:06:37 UTC
Pontianak Sythaeryn wrote:
A Goon bar out in their space? This sounds about as safe as jamming large ice picks into ones own ears. Roll


Where's your sense of adventure! Sacrifices must be made to Lord Fun.
Pontianak Sythaeryn
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#14 - 2014-03-05 16:11:20 UTC
Lucien Rouen wrote:
Where's your sense of adventure! Sacrifices must be made to Lord Fun.


I fail to see how this would be funny... for me. I would find it hilarious as a Goon, but not me. :)
Lucien Rouen
#15 - 2014-03-05 16:12:35 UTC
Pontianak Sythaeryn wrote:
Lucien Rouen wrote:
Where's your sense of adventure! Sacrifices must be made to Lord Fun.


I fail to see how this would be funny... for me. I would find it hilarious as a Goon, but not me. :)


Fair enough, I suppose. I don't know much about them, still learning.
Anatole Madullier
Alexylva Paradox
#16 - 2014-03-05 16:14:39 UTC
Next time I crash land my Domi in the middle of nowhere I'll come and say hi!

ॐ
Lasairiona Raske
Itsukame-Zainou Hyperspatial Inquiries Ltd.
Arataka Research Consortium
#17 - 2014-03-05 16:39:12 UTC
Sounds neat! Love visiting new places!

Are you a devil or an angel

Sent here from heaven or from hell?

Sweet temptress, I'm wrapped in your tangles

Can't find my way out of your spell
Aracturus
Amok.
Goonswarm Federation
#18 - 2014-03-05 23:59:40 UTC
Vulxanis Viceroy wrote:

My bar, The Golden Lounge, does not require payment from capsuleers for drinks or food. All hours are 'happy hour'. The menu is extensive, and simply my reputation preceding entry has been enough to make those who visit know to be civil. I will not allow harm to come to my guests, and in turn they are respectful of the establishment and each other.



/shameless self promotion

This is now a WIDOT thread!
Vulxanis Viceroy
Vicarius Vitae
Khimi Harar
#19 - 2014-03-06 00:00:28 UTC
Aracturus wrote:
Vulxanis Viceroy wrote:

My bar, The Golden Lounge, does not require payment from capsuleers for drinks or food. All hours are 'happy hour'. The menu is extensive, and simply my reputation preceding entry has been enough to make those who visit know to be civil. I will not allow harm to come to my guests, and in turn they are respectful of the establishment and each other.



/shameless self promotion


Best example I could give you. My apologies for being a better owner.

In Character: Only responds to "Lord Draconis"

Pronounced "Vulzanis"

Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/Eve/comments/4fanm8/eve_in_a_nutshell_and_how_to_crack_it/

Public channel: VXV EVE

Twitter: https://wiki.eveonline.com/en/wiki/Vulxanis_Viceroy
Ber Kan
State War Academy
Caldari State
#20 - 2014-03-06 02:59:05 UTC
I may have to visit.

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