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Probably the most funny EVE Mail I have ever seen.
Author
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Gav Earnshaw
Doomheim
#1 - 2014-02-28 20:48:59 UTC
My mate just got this right before server went down again, seriously, made me giggle.

Quote:

FW: Repayment
From: Bumpage
Sent: 2014.02.28 20:35
To: Sgt Felix, Sheikh Dargon,



Repayment
From: Specter Tsero
Sent: 2014.02.28 20:14
To: Bumpage,

You have two options. Either I put a 100,000 mil bounty on you or you refund me for the implants and ship at 40 mil. I don't care about money, only honor. Thats the second time uve killed me so this will be a personal vendetta which will last years.


Followed by this;

Quote:

FW: Payment time - 1 hour
From: Bumpage
Sent: 2014.02.28 20:36
To: Sgt Felix, Sheikh Dargon,



Payment time - 1 hour
From: Specter Tsero
Sent: 2014.02.28 20:31
To: Bumpage,

I have contacted my mains corp. You will become a major target with several bounties placed on you as you are pirating withing 5 jumps of our territory. You have one hour to complete the payment of 40 million isk. After this time period a 100 million isk bounty will be placed on you and refreshed by 5 million each time you are spotted withing 10 jumps of Jita. Watch who you kill. If you pod another member of our corp or its alt within the next 3 months wou will be added to the permanent pirate list kept by the security wing of our corp.


xD
Rhatar Khurin
Doomheim
#2 - 2014-02-28 20:52:56 UTC
Oh noes a bounty!

You won't be able to leave the station now!
Alduin666 Shikkoken
Doomheim
#3 - 2014-02-28 20:58:11 UTC
LUCKY if I were in your shoes I would constantly jump back and forth on some gate that connects a system 10 jumps away and 11 jumps away from Jita.

Honor is a fools prize. [I]Glory is of no use to the dead.[/I]

Be a man! Post with your main! ~Vas'Avi Community Manager
Rakshasa Taisab
Sane Industries Inc.
#4 - 2014-02-28 21:01:28 UTC
I once watched a flock of ducks dealing with the shock of discovering that cold water is solid, they quack quack quacked endlessly.

Nyan
Bumpage
Eternity INC.
Goonswarm Federation
#5 - 2014-02-28 21:06:37 UTC
It's ok it started with "Please don't" "PLEASE"
Specter Tsero
Specter Tsero Corporation
#6 - 2014-02-28 21:13:30 UTC
Behold, It is I. Fear my empty threats and bounties that I cant actually afford. Lol Can't blame noob for trying though.
Noxisia Arkana
Deadspace Knights
#7 - 2014-02-28 21:17:40 UTC  |  Edited by: Noxisia Arkana
Specter Tsero wrote:
Behold, It is I. Fear my empty threats and bounties that I cant actually afford. Lol Can't blame noob for trying though.


You can't start out a scamming pro. +1, good first steps.

Edit: Lesson 1, the bounty system only scares players that have played less then a month or haulers.
Cannibal Kane
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#8 - 2014-02-28 21:38:27 UTC
Oh my.. I got to wardec them right now. Screw the list they are going right to the top.

"Kane is the End Boss of Highsec." -Psychotic Monk
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
#9 - 2014-02-28 21:49:36 UTC
A got a bounty once.


True story.


Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings?
Batelle
Federal Navy Academy
#10 - 2014-02-28 21:54:03 UTC
Specter Tsero wrote:
Behold, It is I. Fear my empty threats and bounties that I cant actually afford. Lol Can't blame noob for trying though.


i love this

"**CCP is changing policy, and has asked that we discontinue the bonus credit program after November 7th. So until then, enjoy a super-bonus of 1B Blink Credit for each 60-day GTC you buy!"**

Never forget.
Kimmi Chan
Tastes Like Purple
#11 - 2014-02-28 21:58:09 UTC
Specter Tsero wrote:
Behold, It is I. Fear my empty threats and bounties that I cant actually afford. Lol Can't blame noob for trying though.


You need a scarier name like... Fairy Princess Tsero. Not really scary but people will think you're certifiable. Lol

"Grr Kimmi  Nerf Chans!" ~Jenn aSide

www.eve-radio.com  Join Eve Radio channel in game!
Wooly Akachi
Science and Trade Institute
Caldari State
#12 - 2014-02-28 22:11:52 UTC
Our corp regularly gives each other bounties for s**ts & giggles. Twisted
James Nikolas Tesla
Tesla Holdings
#13 - 2014-02-28 22:20:36 UTC
So you want 40 mil to replace implants but will put a 100mil bounty on one's head for non-payment

Comical

CODE is just a bunch of pirates; smart, organized pirates. It doesn't help to rage at them because that is exactly what they want. Dust yourself off and get back on your feet, you don't even have to talk to them.
Inzax
#14 - 2014-02-28 23:29:36 UTC
This sounds like the same guy who writes those Somali email scams. Different subject for sure but follows the same style. Meh...needs more "lightning/thunder"
Erotica 1
Krypteia Operations
#15 - 2014-02-28 23:39:03 UTC
Let me grab my catalyst.

See Bio for isk doubling rules. If you didn't read bio, chances are you funded those who did.
Ginger Barbarella
#16 - 2014-02-28 23:41:00 UTC
Gav Earnshaw wrote:
permanent pirate list kept by the security wing of our corp


Bwahahahahahahaahaha!!! Lol

"Blow it all on Quafe and strippers." --- Sorlac
I Love Boobies
All Hail Boobies
#17 - 2014-03-01 01:16:24 UTC
Evidently someone thinks bounties are more important than they actually are. He'd be better off selling the kill rights if he has any, eh?
Nicolai Serkanner
Incredible.
Brave Collective
#18 - 2014-03-01 01:27:24 UTC
What are bounties?
Sarah McKnobbo
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#19 - 2014-03-01 01:35:07 UTC
I prefer to imagine the op physicaly placing a bounty chocolate bar on the dudes head. It would have just as much of an effect as the bounty sytrm now!
Alastair Ormand
Mine all the things
#20 - 2014-03-01 02:15:02 UTC
Rakshasa Taisab wrote:
I once watched a flock of ducks dealing with the shock of discovering that cold water is solid, they quack quack quacked endlessly.

Did the ice begin to.... quack into pieces?

Thank you! I'm here til' Thursday

I discourage running with scissors.
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