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Half Cocked Jack : Goon Hero
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Lyris Nairn
Perkone
Caldari State
#1 - 2011-11-11 09:54:42 UTC  |  Edited by: Lyris Nairn
11.11.YC113—

Station side at Mittanigrad in VFK-IV, the video feed opens on a Fat Bee banner draped across a podium. The camera zooms out and pans horizontally to reveal a crowd of mostly-neckbeared men in disheveled uniforms haphazardly assembled into ranks on the floor of what is very obviously an outpost hangar deck. Hundreds of outfitted RIfter-class Minmatar space frigates, some still smoking from recent assembly, are arranged in dozens of rows that stretch off into the distance where the flicker and flash of welding torches cast them in silhouette against the factory lines. Synthesized trumpets blare over a cheap signal box, and the camera pans back to the podium to focus on the speaker.

Ladies and Gentlegoons; assembled friends and neighbors; and, the rest of you;

On this momentous day I am vested with the privilege of extending Our esteem and gratitude toward the man locally known as Jack Ren, and officially listed in the CONCORD registry as Half Cocked Jack. For services rendered on behalf of the Right-Honourable Goonswarm Federation, henceforth shall he be granted the title of Honourary Member of the Theta Squad, which all cultured gentlemen recognize to be The Best Squad. A prize in the sum of one billion InterStellar Kredits shall be rendered him in recognition of his accomplishments, and his contribution to our cultural heritage; moreover, let it be public notice that he is officially extended invitation to formalize his association with the Right-Honourable Goonswarm Federation by joining the ranks of the GoonWaffe executor corporation, and that he shall be granted all customs and courtesies due a member in good standing pursuant to his acceptance of this generous offer.

That is all.

Sky Captain of Your Heart

Reddit: lyris_nairn Skype: lyris.nairn Twitter: @lyris_nairn
Katrina Oniseki
Oniseki-Raata Internal Watch
Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
#2 - 2011-11-11 10:17:27 UTC
Okay.

Katrina Oniseki
wurblewind
Filthy Peasants
Intergalactic Space Hobos
#3 - 2011-11-11 11:42:18 UTC
So, for bringing your national anthem to life, he's a hero...

What do I get if I make you the bitchingest flag ever known to mankind? Pirate

[center]Keep low, fly fast, die well.[/center]
Tiberious Thessalonia
True Slave Foundations
#4 - 2011-11-11 11:54:30 UTC
If anyone deserves to be honoured, it's Jack.

Of course, the honour of being honoured by goonswarm is its own... thing.

Regardless, congratulations!
Daniel L'Siata
Phoenix Naval Operations
Phoenix Naval Systems
#5 - 2011-11-11 12:19:04 UTC
Um, wow.
Half Cocked Jack
Un4seen Development
Goonswarm Federation
#6 - 2011-11-11 15:17:30 UTC
I am truly honored, Lyris. To be lauded by the Right-Honourable Goonswarm Federation is inspiring, and a great encouragement to continue with this new hobby. The gifts you have given will give me the means to pursue it further, improving my equipment and experience. I still don't consider the anthem to be as glorious as it deserves, and hope to improve upon it in the future when I have the time and means to do so.

I am proud to be an Honorary Member of Theta Squad, but I must unfortunately decline the invitation to formalize it at this time. As you have your own brothers and sisters in Goonwaffe, I have my own in Re-Awakened Technologies. I am not prepared to sever those ties (or break those contracts) even for an opportunity as auspicious as this one...and I can imagine no greater. I will watch and admire your Federation from afar...and perhaps occasionally sing about it.

Long may the Goonswarm flag inspire,

Jack
John Revenent
Revenent Defence Corperation
Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
#7 - 2011-11-11 18:06:40 UTC
This just... Nevermind.

Ishukone Loyalist - Private Contractor

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."
Blawrf McTaggart
Imperial Academy
Amarr Empire
#8 - 2011-11-11 20:51:12 UTC
I believe we should rename him Full-Cocked Jack, in recognition of his triumphs.

All in favour?
Tiberious Thessalonia
True Slave Foundations
#9 - 2011-11-11 20:57:47 UTC
Two-cocked.
spookydonut
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#10 - 2011-11-11 20:59:06 UTC
This is terrible. No honorary theta memberships.
Blawrf McTaggart
Imperial Academy
Amarr Empire
#11 - 2011-11-11 21:00:17 UTC
worst director
Lyris Nairn
Perkone
Caldari State
#12 - 2011-11-12 13:08:59 UTC
wurblewind wrote:
So, for bringing your national anthem to life, he's a hero...

What do I get if I make you the bitchingest flag ever known to mankind? Pirate

Nothing.

Sky Captain of Your Heart

Reddit: lyris_nairn Skype: lyris.nairn Twitter: @lyris_nairn
Melissa Vengance
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#13 - 2011-11-13 14:39:50 UTC
wurblewind
Filthy Peasants
Intergalactic Space Hobos
#14 - 2011-11-14 21:49:00 UTC
Lyris Nairn wrote:
wurblewind wrote:
So, for bringing your national anthem to life, he's a hero...

What do I get if I make you the bitchingest flag ever known to mankind? Pirate

Nothing.


Excellent.Pirate

[center]Keep low, fly fast, die well.[/center]