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Crime & Punishment

 
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Murder for Fun and Profit!

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Taisia Zaytseva
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#1 - 2014-02-10 03:41:15 UTC
So, for those of you that don't know, there's a guy named Ston. He's a total asshat; the kind of guy that if I met in real life (as opposed to just interacting with on the IGS), I would totally sell to human traffickers. I'm against slavery, but he's the exception that proves the rule.

Right, where was I?
Oh yeah. Ston and his band of slavers, kidnappers, gaolers, twits, twats, scumbags and scalawags have a huge bounty on their head. 451 million to be exact. Now, this means that there's some ISK to be had in murder.
Two things. I promise that the bounty will never go away, ever. I also promise that whomever war decs this snollygoster and his bunch of-do I really have to repeat the list?-and gets at least two kills, gets their dec fees reimbursed by me.
It shouldn't be too hard to kill him, his cheek bones have the sig or a Nyx.
Life's a giant game, have some fun. Kill this fool.

Also, you can totally kill a Crane with like three Cats and still make enough on the bounty and salvage to make it worth your while.

((Yes, a GSF raised teenager, she's all in character.))



Diana Kim
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#2 - 2014-02-10 03:49:12 UTC
That's a lot of dirt and incompetent rant over a rather simple business deal...
Let me guess, you are a gallentean, right?

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.
Xindi Kraid
Itsukame-Zainou Hyperspatial Inquiries Ltd.
Arataka Research Consortium
#3 - 2014-02-10 03:49:32 UTC  |  Edited by: Xindi Kraid
Who is letting all these kids become capsuleers lately?
The most recent batch is total batshit.

I am inclined to agree with Diana Kim's first sentence. Sure you might not like someone and you may even want to take it out on them in the form of a bounty, but what's all this?
Eran Mintor
Metropolis Commercial Consortium
#4 - 2014-02-10 04:06:53 UTC
Normally I'd respond to these kind of tears with a simple "show me on the rifter where they breached your hull," but since they're pacifists I'm not really sure what to say...

However, the irony of a silly Goon raging like this gives me much pleasure.

-Eran
Taisia Zaytseva
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#5 - 2014-02-10 04:08:47 UTC
He's a total slubberdegullion and the Cluster Needs to Know!
After all, it's more enjoyable killing someone if you have a good reason. Like, if they are the elitist forces of N3. We've always been at war with N3, we will always be at war with N3. Why? Cause they are enemies of the revolution. Widecheeks is also an enemy of the revolution, but he doesn't have supers-well, neither does N3 anymore, lol!-so, like, we're not going to be dropping him or anything.
Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#6 - 2014-02-10 04:13:57 UTC
Eran Mintor wrote:
Normally I'd respond to these kind of tears with a simple "show me on the rifter where they breached your hull," but since they're pacifists I'm not really sure what to say...

However, the irony of a silly Goon raging like this gives me much pleasure.

-Eran

This made me laugh, I think I like you. Big smile

A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
Eran Mintor
Metropolis Commercial Consortium
#7 - 2014-02-10 04:24:03 UTC
Taisia Zaytseva wrote:
He's a total slubberdegullion and the Cluster Needs to Know!
After all, it's more enjoyable killing someone if you have a good reason. Like, if they are the elitist forces of N3. We've always been at war with N3, we will always be at war with N3. Why? Cause they are enemies of the revolution. Widecheeks is also an enemy of the revolution, but he doesn't have supers-well, neither does N3 anymore, lol!-so, like, we're not going to be dropping him or anything.


Revolution? Goons are the revolutionaries? Did I step into an alternate universe?

-Eran
Taisia Zaytseva
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#8 - 2014-02-10 04:28:53 UTC
Eran Mintor wrote:
Taisia Zaytseva wrote:
He's a total slubberdegullion and the Cluster Needs to Know!
After all, it's more enjoyable killing someone if you have a good reason. Like, if they are the elitist forces of N3. We've always been at war with N3, we will always be at war with N3. Why? Cause they are enemies of the revolution. Widecheeks is also an enemy of the revolution, but he doesn't have supers-well, neither does N3 anymore, lol!-so, like, we're not going to be dropping him or anything.


Revolution? Goons are the revolutionaries? Did I step into an alternate universe?

-Eran

Yes, the glorious communist revolution, in our socialist paradise of Deklein. We have our dear leader, The Mittani, to lead us. Have you heard our anthem?
"Long live our Deklein motherland, built by Mittani's mighty hand."
Bryen Verrisai
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#9 - 2014-02-10 04:33:29 UTC
Taisia Zaytseva wrote:
slubberdegullion

I learned a new word today.
Gosakumori Noh
Coven of One
#10 - 2014-02-10 04:35:49 UTC
Eran Mintor wrote:
Taisia Zaytseva wrote:
He's a total slubberdegullion.


Revolution? Goons are the revolutionaries? Did I step into an alternate universe?

-Eran


If DSTON is now by one measure an equal partner of the N3 Alliance, then yes, we have entered an alternate universe.

But if this further means that we get more use of the word "slubberdegullion," viva la revolution, darlings! The Niarja-Kapputnik corridor should become quite a show.
Taisia Zaytseva
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#11 - 2014-02-10 04:49:43 UTC
Gosakumori Noh wrote:
Eran Mintor wrote:
Taisia Zaytseva wrote:
He's a total slubberdegullion.


Revolution? Goons are the revolutionaries? Did I step into an alternate universe?

-Eran


If DSTON is now by one measure an equal partner of the N3 Alliance, then yes, we have entered an alternate universe.

But if this further means that we get more use of the word "slubberdegullion," viva la revolution, darlings! The Niarja-Kapputnik corridor should become quite a show.

I mean, DSTON might be as combat effective as N3, but that does not make them N3. DSTON are just your every day, run of the mill wide cheekboned slavers, not worth a groat. They are hypocrites, though. That, I cannot abide.
Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#12 - 2014-02-10 04:59:32 UTC
Goon tears are delicious!

Here's why you died, Goon pilots aren't combat pilots. They sit around all day waiting for the order of the fleet commander to gather around in a blob to press one button.

If you want to stop embarassing yourself, I suggest joining a corporation that will actually teach you to fight.

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!
Taisia Zaytseva
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#13 - 2014-02-10 05:04:52 UTC
Fredfredbug4 wrote:
Goon tears are delicious!

Here's why you died, Goon pilots aren't combat pilots. They sit around all day waiting for the order of the fleet commander to gather around in a blob to press one button.

If you want to stop embarassing yourself, I suggest joining a corporation that will actually teach you to fight.

Dude, what are you even on? I haven't died. Free your mind, buggerer, free your mind.
Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#14 - 2014-02-10 05:11:50 UTC
Taisia Zaytseva wrote:
Fredfredbug4 wrote:
Goon tears are delicious!

Here's why you died, Goon pilots aren't combat pilots. They sit around all day waiting for the order of the fleet commander to gather around in a blob to press one button.

If you want to stop embarassing yourself, I suggest joining a corporation that will actually teach you to fight.

Dude, what are you even on? I haven't died. Free your mind, buggerer, free your mind.

You know, I'm starting to see why Kimmie hates us. Please stop.

A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
Gosakumori Noh
Coven of One
#15 - 2014-02-10 05:16:20 UTC
Taisia Zaytseva wrote:
I mean, DSTON might be as combat effective as N3, but that does not make them N3. DSTON are just your every day, run of the mill wide cheekboned slavers, not worth a groat. They are hypocrites, though. That, I cannot abide.


Dastardly slubberdegullions! I feel ashamed for having never used that word, myself. But are you saying that whole matriculation thing is just cover for some Cartel slave-running operation?

Taisia Zaytseva
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#16 - 2014-02-10 05:22:10 UTC
Gosakumori Noh wrote:
Taisia Zaytseva wrote:
I mean, DSTON might be as combat effective as N3, but that does not make them N3. DSTON are just your every day, run of the mill wide cheekboned slavers, not worth a groat. They are hypocrites, though. That, I cannot abide.


Dastardly slubberdegullions! I feel ashamed for having never used that word, myself. But are you saying that whole matriculation thing is just cover for some Cartel slave-running operation?


It's certainly cover. Though, I doubt they are Cartel. Fleshmongers they are, though. That is certain!
Eran Mintor
Metropolis Commercial Consortium
#17 - 2014-02-10 05:27:33 UTC
You only say that, Ms. Noh, to distract us from the truth that it's a cover for acquiring your Sebeistors.

-Eran
Gosakumori Noh
Coven of One
#18 - 2014-02-10 05:48:41 UTC
I suspected you would catch on to me sooner rather than later, Eran! I have no one but myself to blame.

But I am grateful that Taisia has injected a new perspective into our community. As with those enormous alliances, the absence of new perspectives leads to stagnation and decline. Which is different than Deklein. Which I don't believe is declining. Not that I've ever been. I have been to Syndicate. It seems like kind of a... well... dump. Lots of explosions recently, though, eh?

My recollection of DSTON's beginning, here, was that they can flipped miners and lectured them on attachment to material things. Although somewhat clever, it also smelled. The matriculation angle came later. She might be on to something.
Erica Dusette
Division 13
#19 - 2014-02-10 06:44:46 UTC
Xindi Kraid wrote:
Who is letting all these kids become capsuleers lately?
The most recent batch is total batshit.

Oh really?

I do hope you're not referring to my little sister. That might make me a little angry.

Jack Miton > you be nice or you're sleeping on the couch again!

Part-Time Wormhole Pirate ツ Full-Time Supermodel

▷ worмнole dιary + cнaracтer вιoѕ ▷ вσss
Anabella Rella
Gradient
Electus Matari
#20 - 2014-02-10 06:52:52 UTC
Public service announcement: Feeding trolls only encourages them to keep posting. The 'block posts' function is your friend.

When the world is running down, you make the best of what's still around.
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