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How to deal with Eve induced emotional trauma?

First post
Author
Cousk
JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR
WE FORM VOLTRON
#1 - 2013-11-25 15:19:57 UTC  |  Edited by: Cousk
So i reactivated my account after a break, all the Rubicon stuff seemed so shiny. I love the way they develop this, more as a service than a product. It's amazing.

While exploring the new stuff i saw a nice trade deal and i figured I'll strike while the iron is hot :) I invested all my money (500mln) and set out in my hauler... Of course, it was a scam, or i simply flew right into an ambush. Now my wallet is empty and my favorite ship gone. It was exciting but ended up being such a bummer.

So what a nice welcome back to the world of Eve :) It is my fault, i took a big risk and lost, so you are probably thinking 'suck it up and get over it'.

And the thing is, i don't know how to do that. I was in the middle of a hype about the new expansion, trying new things and exploring new possibilities... now it's all gone. All that desire to play disappeared (frankly I'm a bit depressed now and don't feel like doing anything at all).

So my question to the community is, how do you deal with emotional trauma caused by major setbacks in the game?

I'm also curious how Eve as a product deals with that, considering how many people must have a similar experience to mine... How does Eve keep us all hooked or at least comig back after such devastating blows?

PS. Now that i think about it, it's not my fault i fell victim to a scam or ambush, that's typical victim blaming. However i still feel i was aware of a risk and took it.
Dangirdas Bachir
The Exiled Titans
#2 - 2013-11-25 15:26:23 UTC  |  Edited by: Dangirdas Bachir
Cousk wrote:
So i reactivated my account after a break, all the Rubicon stuff seemed so shiny. I love the way they develop this, more as a service than a product. It's amazing.

While exploring the new stuff i saw a nice trade deal and i figured I'll strike while the iron is hot :) I invested all my money (500mln) and set out in my hauler... Of course, it was a scam, or i simply flew right into an ambush. Now my wallet is empty and my favorite ship gone. It was exciting but ended up being such a bummer.

So what a nice welcome back to the world of Eve :) It is my fault, i took a big risk and lost, so you are probably thinking 'suck it up and get over it'.

And the thing is, i don't know how to do that. I was in the middle of a hype about the new expansion, trying new things and exploring new possibilities... now it's all gone. All that desire to play disappeared (frankly I'm a bit depressed now and don't feel like doing anything at all).

So my question to the community is, how do you deal with emotional trauma caused by major setbacks in the game?

I'm also curious how Eve as a product deals with that, considering how many people must have a similar experience to mine... How does Eve keep us all hooked or at least comig back after such devastating blows?

PS. Now that i think about it, it's not my fault i fell victim to a scam or ambush, that's typical victim blaming. However i still feel i was aware of a risk and took it.

I cry, then suck it up. I remember that this is just a game, you sometimes have a "blast", and sometimes it just frankly sucks. Like everything else in life. And then i get weird fetishes off some brutal revenge.

EVE EVE STARGALACTIC CITY B I T C H

J'Poll
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#3 - 2013-11-25 15:30:47 UTC
Cousk wrote:
So i reactivated my account after a break, all the Rubicon stuff seemed so shiny. I love the way they develop this, more as a service than a product. It's amazing.

While exploring the new stuff i saw a nice trade deal and i figured I'll strike while the iron is hot :) I invested all my money (500mln) and set out in my hauler... Of course, it was a scam, or i simply flew right into an ambush. Now my wallet is empty and my favorite ship gone. It was exciting but ended up being such a bummer.

So what a nice welcome back to the world of Eve :) It is my fault, i took a big risk and lost, so you are probably thinking 'suck it up and get over it'.

And the thing is, i don't know how to do that. I was in the middle of a hype about the new expansion, trying new things and exploring new possibilities... now it's all gone. All that desire to play disappeared (frankly I'm a bit depressed now and don't feel like doing anything at all).

So my question to the community is, how do you deal with emotional trauma caused by major setbacks in the game?

I'm also curious how Eve as a product deals with that, considering how many people must have a similar experience to mine... How does Eve keep us all hooked or at least comig back after such devastating blows?

PS. Now that i think about it, it's not my fault i fell victim to a scam or ambush, that's typical victim blaming. However i still feel i was aware of a risk and took it.


Be upset for a while...
HTFU...
Acknowledge it's just space pixels that blew up...

Continue to play and have fun. And see it as a very expensive learning situation you just had.


p.s. If you are seriously depressed about losing a ship in a game, you might take the game to serious.

Personal channel: Crazy Dutch Guy

Help channel: Help chat - Reloaded

Public roams channels: RvB Ganked / Redemption Road / Spectre Fleet / Bombers bar / The Content Club

Cousk
JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR
WE FORM VOLTRON
#4 - 2013-11-25 15:35:44 UTC
Quote:
p.s. If you are seriously depressed about losing a ship in a game, you might take the game to serious.


Point, i think it's just shocked for now :P That money was a long time in the making.

Good comments so far, thank!
Lloyd Roses
Artificial Memories
#5 - 2013-11-25 15:47:49 UTC
Losses like that one just happen. Best to just keep going.

Else, check the crime&punishment-section on how to get stuck up on minor details ;)
Mr Veda
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#6 - 2013-11-25 15:49:11 UTC
This is the double edged sword that is EVE

You can be the hunter or the hunted. Takes time patience and timing

Sounds like fun eh?

But seriously, it's a game and even big losses can be recovered.

It's about having fun

dehino 'smin yathā dehe kaumāraḿ yauvanaḿ jarātathā dehāntara-prāptir dhīras tatra na muhyati

Riel Saigo
Facta.Non.Verba
#7 - 2013-11-25 16:51:53 UTC
If a game is bumming you out this bad, the problem isn't the game.

Here's my suggestion - log off.

Take up exercise, get some sunlight, hang with friends, play a completely different game, deal with your depression a bit, and come back when you are ready.
Keno Skir
#8 - 2013-11-25 17:01:00 UTC
I'll admit to being briefly annoyed when i got my shiny new command ship concorded once..

Every time you undock a ship, ask yourself "will it be game breaking if this ship and contents never makes it back inside station?"

If the answer is even close to yes, reconsider your journey.
Velicitia
XS Tech
#9 - 2013-11-25 17:06:03 UTC
Keno Skir wrote:
I'll admit to being briefly annoyed when i got my shiny new command ship concorded once..

Every time you undock a ship, ask yourself "will it be game breaking if this ship and contents never makes it back inside station?"

If the answer is even close to yes, reconsider your journey.




I would argue that "Unless the answer is an absolute, 100% no questions asked 'NO ******* WAY', then you need to reconsider said journey" (to the point of pod and implants as well).

One of the bitter points of a good bittervet is the realisation that all those SP don't really do much, and that the newbie is having much more fun with what little he has. - Tippia

Tau Cabalander
Retirement Retreat
Working Stiffs
#10 - 2013-11-25 17:20:03 UTC  |  Edited by: Tau Cabalander
If it looks too good to be true, it is a scam or a trap, or both.

Never put all your eggs into one basket. The first rule of EVE is to never pilot a ship (and cargo) you can't afford to replace. [Arguably, always have an updated medical clone is also tied for first place.]

I've lost billions of ISK, once just by just getting disconnected at a bad time, and I still "keep-on keeping-on".

If you can learn from your mistakes, and bounce back from them, even laugh at them in hindsight, you will go far and enjoy EVE. If not, then EVE may not be the game for you.

Everything that happens to you in EVE, good or bad, is because of something you did, or didn't do.
Jose Black
Royal Amarr Institute
Amarr Empire
#11 - 2013-11-25 17:24:10 UTC
Imho the fun lies in acquiring stuff (and for some to lose it in a ball of fire too), not in having it, collecting dust.

That said, the worst thing I'd do would be taking some time off and then continue to play knowing I've learned a valuable (and harsh) lesson and thus will be doing better next time.
Inxentas Ultramar
Ultramar Independent Contracting
#12 - 2013-11-25 17:29:52 UTC  |  Edited by: Inxentas Ultramar
Let it fester. That's right, be happy you play a game that actually pulls this off!

I tend to be a little grumpy after a heavy loss too, it's entirely normal. Then again, I am getting used to it because I kill and lose ships weekly, if not daily. It helps to ship down to a cheaper class, frigate/destroyer or cruiser if the wallet permits. Even if you can fly a BS just ship down, get a larger quantity of ships and go to town... untill you feel it's time to start treating your prize ships as a second hands.Big smile
Cousk
JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR
WE FORM VOLTRON
#13 - 2013-11-25 17:45:24 UTC
Ok, this sucks balls. I just spend 30 minutes or so writing a reply to this, aaaaand then somehow it got deleted when i pressed preview, even my draft was empty.

I mean no disrespect to anyone who spent time on replying to this in, but, honestly, **** this, i got better things to do with my time.

Praxis Ginimic
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#14 - 2013-11-25 17:52:50 UTC  |  Edited by: Praxis Ginimic
I strongly suggest exposure therapy!

Flip a couple plexes. They are on sale right now.

Buy 50 or so frigs, dessi's & cruisers with t2 pvp fits. Have them shipped to a low or null sec entry system.

Now lose them all. Solo, small gang, gate camp, blob, even high sec dueling and suicide ganks!

After you lose them all do it again. You will get over your risk aversion.

These days I usually get pissed for a few seconds. Long enough to curse over teamspeak. Then I just dock up and get another toy to abuse.
Domanique Altares
Rifterlings
#15 - 2013-11-25 19:41:32 UTC
Cousk wrote:

I mean no disrespect to anyone who spent time on replying to this in, but, honestly, **** this, i got better things to do with my time.



Bye.
Tau Cabalander
Retirement Retreat
Working Stiffs
#16 - 2013-11-25 19:46:27 UTC  |  Edited by: Tau Cabalander
Cousk wrote:
Ok, this sucks balls. I just spend 30 minutes or so writing a reply to this, aaaaand then somehow it got deleted when i pressed preview, even my draft was empty.

I mean no disrespect to anyone who spent time on replying to this in, but, honestly, **** this, i got better things to do with my time.


Always copy to clipboard before pressing a button.

CTRL A
CTRL C

If anything goes wrong, paste it all back.

CTRL V
ISD LackOfFaith
ISD Community Communications Liaisons
ISD Alliance
#17 - 2013-11-25 19:50:57 UTC
The oft-cited rule #1 of Eve is "don't fly what you can't afford to lose". What some don't realize is it doesn't just apply to affording the loss ISK-wise, but also emotion-wise. If losing a ship can cause you to become "bankrupt" emotionally, you should consider the risks you take with it more, or even completely reconsider flying it. Knowledge is power, and being prepared for all eventualities and consequences (including ship loss) empowers you to decide what happens, rather than having things happen to you.

I realize this doesn't help after the fact, but there isn't much to do now about the lost Iteron other than look back and say "that sucks" and "what could I have done differently?" The answer to the latter would be:


  • Be familiar with the mechanics of lowsec space (which Aunenen is).
  • Know the downsides of industrial ships: they're slow, fragile, and can't really protect themselves.
  • If you don't require all the huge cargo space of the industrial, why not fly something smaller, harder to catch, and more disposable, like an Atron or Imicus?
  • If you do require the cargo space, why not use something like the cloak-microwarpdrive trick to make yourself much harder to catch? Google it, it's pretty great.
  • Consider joining a group of players who can offer you support (ISK and otherwise), advice, scouting into dangerous systems, etc.


There's other good advice in this thread too. Don't lose faith, and keep trying!

Cousk wrote:
Ok, this sucks balls. I just spend 30 minutes or so writing a reply to this, aaaaand then somehow it got deleted when i pressed preview, even my draft was empty.

Until a couple weeks ago, every time the CCL locked a thread, we would get a "YOU HAVE BEEN GANKED" error message. The forums can be finnicky, and copying before you submit anything is a good idea.

ISD LackOfFaith

Captain

Community Communication Liaisons (CCLs)

Interstellar Services Department

I do not respond to Eve Mail or anything other than the forums.

Riel Saigo
Facta.Non.Verba
#18 - 2013-11-25 21:33:33 UTC
The #1 rule of posting on the Eve Forums:

"Don't type what you can't afford to lose."
NightCrawler 85
Phoibe Enterprises
#19 - 2013-11-25 21:57:55 UTC
My advice would be to exit the game, get up and do something completely different for a while.
When you loose something that genuinely upsets you obsessing about it does not help, and in most cases you will obsess about it as long as you dont force your mind over on something else. For some 5 minutes and a smoke break is enough, others needs weeks or months to get over a loss (im a firm believer that the people who needs a longer period of time have other troubles in real life and are just using the loss as an excuse to take a much needed break so they can focus tho).

But, its ok to get angry or upset about a ship loss. People who say that they can loose whatever and it wont make them feel the least bit upset "because its just pixels" either has spent way to much money on PLEX's to sell for ISK, or they have simply stopped caring about the game (thus not really enjoying them self's anymore). At least thats how things have appeared to me.
It is possible that there is someone out there that can say with their hand on their heart that they truly dont care no matter what they loose, but i have yet to meet that person.

How EVE keeps people hooked.
How many other games have genuinely made you feel as upset as you did when you lost that hauler? I bet there is very few/no games on that list. EVE is one of those unique games that actually makes you "feel" something, sometimes bad, sometimes good, sometimes both at the same time. You have an emotional investment in the game, and the ones that are stubborn simply refuse to let a game "beat them" and give up when something bad happens. and instead they start over again, smarter, more paranoid, and more eager (anger is a good motivator Blink ) then they did the first time.
J'Poll
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#20 - 2013-11-25 21:59:28 UTC
ISD LackOfFaith wrote:

Cousk wrote:
Ok, this sucks balls. I just spend 30 minutes or so writing a reply to this, aaaaand then somehow it got deleted when i pressed preview, even my draft was empty.

Until a couple weeks ago, every time the CCL locked a thread, we would get a "YOU HAVE BEEN GANKED" error message. The forums can be finnicky, and copying before you submit anything is a good idea.


That.

I usually type all my replies first in Notepad.

This way if CCP's forum hamsters decide to go F-U...I still have my draft ready for a copy paste.

Personal channel: Crazy Dutch Guy

Help channel: Help chat - Reloaded

Public roams channels: RvB Ganked / Redemption Road / Spectre Fleet / Bombers bar / The Content Club

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