Player Features and Ideas Discussion

Capsuleers are the biggest scumbags in the EVE universe -- it's true. And as a scumbag, I barely notice that I'm killing real, living, breathing human beings. With real lives, interwoven into the fabric of the universe.

It's like I almost forgot that I was mortal, once. How odd.

So anyway, I was running around, killing rats, and I thought to myself, "Hmm, the term 'rats' is so dehumanizing. It's short for 'pirates' but, really --" and my mind flashed back to the myths of human history, and the injustices of ancient civilizations. "Something about Nazi's calling jews 'rats' before they rounded them up and gassed them. Huh." And that's when it dawned on me, probably for the first time, that I was slaughtering real crew. "Hum." And then more ships blew up -- and I gleefully looted metallic wrecks intermingled with twisted flesh, blood and sinew. I must admit, I do kind of like it when the wrecks are spattered in blood. If you look closely, you can see shapes in them. Like, the other day, there was a wreck of a Serpentis Battleship that looked like a face. I must admit that I laughed.

A couple of days later, I completely forgot about the incident -- the fleeting thought of the level of death and destruction that I was releasing evaporated like a fleeting thought about what I wanted for breakfast. And then, in a moment of idiocy, I lost my ship.

And then, guys, something strange happened. I could swear that I envisioned, even if just for a brief moment, the panic that ensued as my ship entered into structure. My crew's frantic, desperate attempt to relinquish their stations, clamoring over each other in a futile attempt to make it to the escape pods. And then I imagined, if you will, the lamentation of their husbands, wives, and children. A Gallente flag, draped over a coffin, flashed in my mind; concourses of people shedding bitter tears, paying their last respects, cursing my name and the state of the universe. And something in me thought, "The family didn't even have the chance to say goodbye. And the crews' bodies denied a proper burial: vaporized; shredded; torn to smithereens and flash-frozen in the cold depths of the infinite abyss."

So here's the deal. I want a number. I want to know how many families I have terrorized. While I may never be able to own up to the holocaust, committed in my name, I at least want to understand what kind of monster I have become. Even though there's a part of me that wants to apologize to the families -- all those lives I changed forever -- I just know I couldn't do it. I couldn't look them in the eyes and explain to them that I harvested them like wheat; that I ventured out and maimed their loved ones to pad my wallet; that I occasionally yawned as my ship sloughed off the bloody mist of their loved one's remains.

Why do I want a number, you ask? I don't know. Maybe it's because, when I look at mere mortals anymore, their eyes just seem so empty; so hollow. And really, I don't see people behind those eyes. All I see is rats. And rats disgust me. And come to think of it, they don't deserve an apology. I want to press my fingers into their eyeballs and laugh as the blood comes out, just to see them scream and thrash around in agony. And I have to admit -- it's so funny when they squirm. It reminds me that, once upon a time, I too felt pain. I wonder what it would be like to feel that again.

So please, give me a number, CCP. Give me a number I can attach to my -- what do they call it, inhuman? -- nature. It's the only way I can keep track to what little shards of humanity that I have left. I need a way to understand how far I have fallen. I need a reference point. And as I churn into the eternities, even if the only human piece of me that remains is sliver of guilt, so be it. But I think it would help me remember, and still maintain my humanity.

Let me know if you think it's a good idea. Thanks.

https://wiki.eveonline.com/en/wiki/New_Eden_crew_guidelines

https://wiki.eveonline.com/en/wiki/Ships_%28technology%29 - The linked ship classes take you to appropriate pages discussing the various crew compositions and sizes in much greater detail.