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Goons. Surrender Daimon Kaiera into my custody or face total destruction

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Turoc Acnor
Republic Military School
Minmatar Republic
#61 - 2013-10-14 22:17:38 UTC
Kuni Oichi wrote:
As one of the duly authorised GoonSwarm bounty hunters I can locate one Daimon Kaiera for you for the low sum of 250 million isk.


I recommend this product or service.

This is a signature.

Daimon Kaiera
Science and Trade Institute
Caldari State
#62 - 2013-10-14 22:22:54 UTC
Turoc Acnor wrote:
Kuni Oichi wrote:
As one of the duly authorised GoonSwarm bounty hunters I can locate one Daimon Kaiera for you for the low sum of 250 million isk.


I recommend this product or service.


You'll never find me. :tinfoil:






JU-

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Varius Xeral
Doomheim
#63 - 2013-10-14 23:45:54 UTC
It seems like people are having fun in this thread...do you think this is all some kind of game?!

Official Representative of The Nullsec Zealot Cabal
Johnny Marzetti
Imperial Shipment
Amarr Empire
#64 - 2013-10-14 23:48:39 UTC  |  Edited by: Johnny Marzetti
Fun!? Get back to work you lot, those asteroids aren't going to mine themselves!
Andski
Science and Trade Institute
Caldari State
#65 - 2013-10-14 23:54:27 UTC
roleplayer, eh?

23:53:12 Are you sure you want to expel Daimon Kaiera from this corporation?

Twitter: @EVEAndski

"It's easy to speak for the silent majority. They rarely object to what you put into their mouths."    - Abrazzar
Sar Carstic
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#66 - 2013-10-15 00:20:20 UTC
Cierra Royce wrote:
Angelique, you already know what lies on your side of the fence, all you know of our side are the rumours and imagined crimes that mean spirited people post on these forums, and dark muttering from pilots who have earned our wrath, the tearful souls who lost mackinaws to their own stupidity and those idle malcontents who enjoy nothing more than to spin their webs of lies and paint dark pictures of Goon intentions. Never being able to truly trust the intentions of the thieves and liars that infest high sec hidden in their filthy pubbie holes.

In reality Goonwaffe is the best home a pilot could have, from our deep love of newbies showering them with Isk, implants, ships and skill books, the never ending adventures of our SIGs, our support of in game events that everyone can take part in, up to the careful shepherding of the CSM and influencing the future direction of eve, goons make eve better in every single way.

You have been offered a great opportunity that many would give >500m Isk for.

Take Daimon's offer and join her in our Glorious Goonwaffe as a loyal soldier bee of his Imperial Majesty The Mittani, and then when you sit watching the smouldering wrecks of our enemies, be they destroyed whilst attacking our space or those of despicable villains cowering in high sec discovering they cannot hide from the blasters of our brave catalyst fleets, you will know the glory of our truth for yourself.

NB. For anyone else who wants to join contact me or other authorised Goon recruitment agents in game and let us smooth your way.


and to think, when I first came into this game, I started hearing nothing but bad about Goons. Seems to me they are pretty much the biggest content and economic generators in the game, not to mention creators of laughs and tears. Angelique, don't pass up an opportunity you'll regret in six months time. If I keep at it, maybe one day I too....

OP great tale, and thanks to many of the responders for laughs loud enough to be drawing looks from my work colleagues as well.

Gentlemen you can't fight in here, this is the War Room!
Elizabeth Aideron
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#67 - 2013-10-15 00:50:33 UTC
Daimon Kaiera wrote:
Turoc Acnor wrote:
Kuni Oichi wrote:
As one of the duly authorised GoonSwarm bounty hunters I can locate one Daimon Kaiera for you for the low sum of 250 million isk.


I recommend this product or service.


You'll never find me. :tinfoil:






JU-


follow the trail of homestuck avatars
Tallian Saotome
Nuclear Arms Exchange Inc.
#68 - 2013-10-15 01:48:39 UTC
Andski wrote:
roleplayer, eh?

23:53:12 Are you sure you want to expel Daimon Kaiera from this corporation?


Worse. Homestuck fan.

Inappropriate signature removed, CCP Phantom.
wowyouareacow
NANA221 Corporation
#69 - 2013-10-15 01:51:42 UTC
False. You can join GoonSwarm Federation without being in GoonWaffe/SA, thus you are at least partially "a goon"
OP, I suggest you read www.minerbumping.com to find out why PvP is the most important thing in EVE, not PvE.
Freakdevil
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#70 - 2013-10-15 01:55:35 UTC
Varius Xeral wrote:
It seems like people are having fun in this thread...do you think this is all some kind of game?!


You think?
Seraph Essael
Air
The Initiative.
#71 - 2013-10-15 02:21:47 UTC  |  Edited by: Seraph Essael
Sar Carstic wrote:
Cierra Royce wrote:
Angelique, you already know what lies on your side of the fence, all you know of our side are the rumours and imagined crimes that mean spirited people post on these forums, and dark muttering from pilots who have earned our wrath, the tearful souls who lost mackinaws to their own stupidity and those idle malcontents who enjoy nothing more than to spin their webs of lies and paint dark pictures of Goon intentions. Never being able to truly trust the intentions of the thieves and liars that infest high sec hidden in their filthy pubbie holes.

In reality Goonwaffe is the best home a pilot could have, from our deep love of newbies showering them with Isk, implants, ships and skill books, the never ending adventures of our SIGs, our support of in game events that everyone can take part in, up to the careful shepherding of the CSM and influencing the future direction of eve, goons make eve better in every single way.

You have been offered a great opportunity that many would give >500m Isk for.

Take Daimon's offer and join her in our Glorious Goonwaffe as a loyal soldier bee of his Imperial Majesty The Mittani, and then when you sit watching the smouldering wrecks of our enemies, be they destroyed whilst attacking our space or those of despicable villains cowering in high sec discovering they cannot hide from the blasters of our brave catalyst fleets, you will know the glory of our truth for yourself.

NB. For anyone else who wants to join contact me or other authorised Goon recruitment agents in game and let us smooth your way.


and to think, when I first came into this game, I started hearing nothing but bad about Goons. Seems to me they are pretty much the biggest content and economic generators in the game, not to mention creators of laughs and tears. Angelique, don't pass up an opportunity you'll regret in six months time. If I keep at it, maybe one day I too....

OP great tale, and thanks to many of the responders for laughs loud enough to be drawing looks from my work colleagues as well.


Exactly this. When I joined Eve just over 5 month ago, in the days leading upto my subscription all I heard about was how I should make sure I stay away from Goonswarm because they are big meanies (okay so it was less polite than that).

But to be honest, whilst yes, I stay away from them (no one in their right mind would fly straight at a Goon fleet head on Big smile) I appreciate just how much they actually do for the game. Not only providing content for players (even if some of it is "bad" (no content is bad content in my opinion but others don't see it like that) content) they also provide content that gets the attention of media.

Hell this massive "evict TEST from Null" fight that went down attracted the attention on the BBC news and everything.

So whilst the goons might all be inconsiderate, evil degeneretes who have sold their soul to the devil grr goons :tinfoil hat is on with that statement: one cannot deny that they do provide awesome content for all to enjoy Smile

And they always say hi in local chat if they're spoken to so its all good. (but shhh its okay, I never said that, I won't tarnish your rep) Cool

OP: Great story, good laugh. Exactly what I needed at 0323 hours. Cheers.

Quoted from Doc Fury: "Concerned citizens: Doc seldom plays EVE on the weekends during spring and summer, so you will always be on your own for a couple days a week. Doc spends that time collecting kittens for the on-going sacrifices, engaging in reckless outdoor activities, and speaking in the 3rd person."
Just Another NPC
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#72 - 2013-10-15 02:31:41 UTC
Remiel Pollard wrote:
This story brought a tear to my eye.

Kaiera finally found her way home, just like in that story of the lost puppy I read that one time....

Better love story than Titanic IMO.

(Before you say it, yes, I am aware that everything is better love story than Titanic).



Freddy Vs Jason was a better love story than Titanic.

CCP Eterne: Silly player, ALL devs are evil.
Rumtin
Imperium Technologies
Sigma Grindset
#73 - 2013-10-15 06:09:07 UTC
Nice write up OP, was a fun read.
Himnos Altar
An Errant Venture
#74 - 2013-10-15 06:18:38 UTC  |  Edited by: Himnos Altar
Johnny Marzetti wrote:
PotatoOverdose wrote:
Angelique Duchemin wrote:
...if there seems to be lesbian undertones...

*Grabs popcorn*

Please .... continue. Cool


They're both men, you doofus.


so?

I ain't sexist. 2 dudes, 2 chicks, Hal 9000 and GLADOS, Chell and Freeman, Wheatley and a copy of himself, Scrooge McDuck and his money pile (you KNOW they were getting it on off camera)......whatever.

Please....continue....


also:

Varius Xeral wrote:
It seems like people are having fun in this thread...do you think this is all some kind of game?!


ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
Aralyn Cormallen
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#75 - 2013-10-15 07:59:33 UTC
Remiel Pollard wrote:
This story brought a tear to my eye.

Kaiera finally found her way home, just like in that story of the lost puppy I read that one time....

Better love story than Titanic IMO.

(Before you say it, yes, I am aware that everything is better love story than Titanic).


I laugh at your Titanic, and raise you a Pearl Harbour... err, not that I've seen it of course Ugh
Solarienne
Hrimdraugar
#76 - 2013-10-15 08:25:24 UTC
I approve of everything between the Op and this post unreservedly. Also possibly some posts after this post.

Good day.

PY-RE Combat Pilot
Daimon Kaiera
Science and Trade Institute
Caldari State
#77 - 2013-10-15 09:33:33 UTC
Andski wrote:
roleplayer, eh?

23:53:12 Are you sure you want to expel Daimon Kaiera from this corporation?


Angie's the roleplayer, not me. :negative: But then again, Homestuck.

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Leontyne Gaterau
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#78 - 2013-10-15 09:35:48 UTC  |  Edited by: Leontyne Gaterau
gas thread kick homestuck-likers
Sirinda
Ekchuah's Shrine Comporium
#79 - 2013-10-15 09:52:26 UTC
Came expecting entertainment and tears, left confused.
baltec1
Bat Country
Pandemic Horde
#80 - 2013-10-15 10:20:17 UTC
Aralyn Cormallen wrote:

I laugh at your Titanic, and raise you a Pearl Harbour... err, not that I've seen it of course Ugh


2 ******* hours I waited and they didn't even get the attack right!